Is there such a thing as a bad blowjob?

[Beenawhile1]

Obviously aimed at guys really....

So the question is in the title really! I read the thread about how to give a good BJ but is there such a thing as a bad one? What makes one a good one or not?

#wsbts - great reply. i think i want to taste. DH like you licks my vagina and is a natural taste for him. I want to improve in bed for him - late start i know - improving blow jobs is something i know matters to him.

@CookPassBabtridge - Teeth sounds painful and I’m not even a man 😬

Teeth ARE painful...!

I wonder if some women think men like the use of teeth 😳

How do you keep your teeth out the way the whole time though? Licking yes that’s fine, but when you are sucking... if you have a small mouth snd no room for movement??

Tuck your lips over your teeth.

I suppose it depends on how big your teeth are vs your lips. Everyone is different. My teeth end before the line of my lips. As in, I can close my mouth without my teeth being right together.

[quote OutTheGame]@Beenawhile1 I think you should take heart from the experience of the OP on the other BJ thread. She ended up having a lovely time with her partner. Honestly, I think it’s such a lot to do with the connection you have with your partner. The willingness to genuinely want to please each other, to be able to communicate what you each like. I don’t think you need to rock up already fully accomplished. Your next partner will hopefully be delighted that you want to do it, that you want to please him. If you have genuine enthusiasm that’s a brilliant starting point. Eye contact and enjoying doing it are great foundations for everything else.

I came out of a long marriage feeling very unconfident. My first partner was lovely. Made me feel like I could do anything and that gave me confidence. I’m now in an online relationship which will hopefully become physical soon. It’s really evident from our sexy chat that he’s into different things than my last partner. That for him, a BJ is part of build up, not the main dish and there are differences too in the specifics of how he likes to be licked, sucked and touched.

I don’t feel like I’ve added much to what others have said but I’ve been in a similar frame of mind and it is possible to overcome your nerves and give your man a good time![/quote]
That's me! I'm the OP of the
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sex/4198787-How-to-give-the-ultimate-BJ post, and it could not have gone better. I did LOADS of research. Bad Girls Bible is super helpful.

Top tips:

• Hygiene. My guy is always clean first.
• Communicate. Not only how you feel, but build up with sexy texts or voice memos about what you want to do to him/take him in your mouth/swallow. I also told him I needed practice and would he mind if I practiced on him. Of course he wouldn't mind!!! He loved it. I also told him I'd like to get good at deep-throat. He was delighted. He's very gentle, we are taking it slowly. I'm getting better at it.
• Lots of enthusiasm. This is KEY. My guy loves to know I'm keen, and enjoying it. Tell him how much you want to pleasure him. I genuinely love his cock in my mouth, and making him come. I also like swallowing. Never have before.
• Lots of saliva. Loads. The wetter the better. Though some say not. But again, communicate, and find out what he likes.
• others have said eye contact. My guy doesn't seem especially bothered about this, and I'm certainly not either. I also feel it looks stupid.
• use your hands sometimes (with loads of saliva). Play with his balls, too. Ask if you can take them in your mouth. Ask of you can caress them with your hands. Or just lick them.
• use warm milky tea/coffee. Not hot!!! Or cold, fizzy drinks. Or mouthwash.
• tease him. Lick him slowly from his mouth down his chest, touch his thighs, his groin, brush his dick with your mouth inadvertently, tease tease tease. Then engulf him.
• spend hours on it. Offer to worship his cock. Caress it, like you truly do worship him/his cock. Admire it, praise it, tell him it's a beautiful, magnificent penis, and how lucky he is. My guy's truly is the most glorious penis I've ever seen. I feel very lucky.
• Ass play. Ahem. Ok, so I was not down for this on my thread, and he wasn't either. But we discussed it during our meetup, and we were both so connected and feeling amazing, I started touching him around his ass with my fingers. He moaned in pleasure. I asked if I could try inserting a finger. He said yes. He LOVED it, it added a certain frisson to the BJ. It was amazing. Have short nails, and lube.
• now, the actual mouth on dick action. Lick it, take it in your mouth, swirl your tongue around, move your head up and down. Offer to let him fuck you in the mouth. Suck. My guy likes a little tease of teeth. Obviously don't bite! More licking, more saliva, more head up and down, use your hand to jerk him off in your mouth if your mouth gets tired/achey. Lots of tongue twirling. More tongue twirling. Tell him he feels amazing.

Have a great time!!! Good luck. And do report back.

@TopTips4TopTips hi!!

Thanks that’s so helpful... how do you know how long to suck for?! That’s what’s going to give me jaw ache ... will it be shit if it spend more time licking then sucking?! I have some strawberry lube.... I’m guessing polite to ask?!

I’m not sure I could give this ‘hours’ though! Does it take a guy longer to cum from a Bj than PIV?

[quote Beenawhile1]@TopTips4TopTips hi!!

Thanks that’s so helpful... how do you know how long to suck for?! That’s what’s going to give me jaw ache ... will it be shit if it spend more time licking then sucking?! I have some strawberry lube.... I’m guessing polite to ask?!

I’m not sure I could give this ‘hours’ though! Does it take a guy longer to cum from a Bj than PIV?[/quote]
Suck until either he comes, or you're tired/achey, then switch to hands for a bit. I'm certainly no pro, but didn't get tired. Just enjoy it. Lick lots. Don't worry about not sucking enough. Me telling him I didn't feel great at then but wanted to get good for him really turned him on. It's such an intimate act, and they know to be grateful. Well, they should. Mine was super appreciative. And I genuinely want to do it for him.

Varies re duration and result re BJ/piv. Just go practice!!! He won't complain!

My guy is utterly smitten with me and says his mind is blown.

Thanks @TopTips4TopTips I’m not sure how this will develop... no plans yet to meet up again... really hoping so! Fit me it’s fear of failure is my problem!

Personally I find it takes longer to cum from a BJ... but that might not be the same for all people...

I think my problem is, if I was in a commited relationship I would feel ok about admitting I’m crap and want to practice and get better.... but with someone new they kind of expect you to be good already snd I’m scared of rejection/a guy thinking I’m shit!

You shouldn't worry about that, if they think that then they don't deserve your time and you don't need to work at getting better for them!

Yep. First wife - crap. Too much twisting going on. Told her many times but it never changed.

2nd wife - not bad but not very enthusiastic. Too rare although they weren’t at the dating stage!

Girlfriends - one was spectacularly good. Swallower and filthy eye contact. Good memories.... Maybe I should have married her!

@Illusive01

You shouldn't worry about that, if they think that then they don't deserve your time and you don't need to work at getting better for them!

@Beenawhile1 - I get that, but if you are in a relationship enough to DTD, then you are in one enough to talk about it - otherwise, how are things going to get better for you both?

I often discussed things with my last FWB - things we liked, things we didn't, our fantasies - it was quite a turn on!

@Beenawhile1

I think my problem is, if I was in a commited relationship I would feel ok about admitting I’m crap and want to practice and get better.... but with someone new they kind of expect you to be good already snd I’m scared of rejection/a guy thinking I’m shit!

Damn - quoted wrong post! Sorry...

Now, correctly...
@Beenawhile1 - I get that, but if you are in a relationship enough to DTD, then you are in one enough to talk about it - otherwise, how are things going to get better for you both?

I often discussed things with my last FWB - things we liked, things we didn't, our fantasies - it was quite a turn on!

@Beenawhile1

I think my problem is, if I was in a commited relationship I would feel ok about admitting I’m crap and want to practice and get better.... but with someone new they kind of expect you to be good already snd I’m scared of rejection/a guy thinking I’m shit!

I don’t see why you should be worried about this. As others say, every man will be different, and it take time to learn what someone likes, just relax and go with the flow, and keep checking it’s what he likes. and of course the same is true in reverse, he won’t know what you like, so you will have go guide that portion, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want, that’s a very big turn on.

@Beenawhile1 - You don’t have to give him a BJ for hours, my partner can come relatively quickly from a blowjob and would definitely not last hours.

use warm milky tea/coffee. Not hot!!! Or cold, fizzy drinks. Or mouthwash.

I like to do it with a perfectly chilled champagne....

Isn’t it a turn off though @VanGoghsDog to keep checking they like it?

@Beenawhile1....don't over think....most men, me included, love their partner to suck their cock. Best advice may be is to get your man to lie down and then take command, get between his legs and go for it..you can control how much you put in your mouth. You can easily look up and assess his response. Alternatively go for a 69 position with you on top....more difficult to see his facial expressions but he gets a fabulous opportunity to reciprocate Go for it.... I would be pretty certain he will love it so long as he does like a BJ...some men obviously dont.

Oh he definitely likes them he brings them up now and then... so another problem .. (haven’t met up since this thread FYI and now arranging to meet back up) he mentioned about a finger up the arse and how that brings ‘a different level’ to BJs ... I just sort of laughed it off... to me that’s an exit not an entrance.... how do I cross that bridge?? That really doesn’t appeal to me, is there something you can do that gives the similar feeling??

@Beenawhile1
If you need a practice partner...
Seriously though, as long as you are enjoying it, and show him you are, then I'm sure everything will be good.

Have fun!

@AverageGuy yes I do!!! maybe I might tell him that... that I’m a bit ‘rusty’??? Or that may be a turn off.... I have no idea!

@Beenawhile1
I can only speak for myself, but if a woman I was seeing said she was a bit rusty at blow-jobs, and would I mind if she practiced on me, I don't think I could get my trousers off quick enough!

Excuse me whilst I have a cold shower..