Is there such a thing as a bad blowjob?

[Beenawhile1]

Obviously aimed at guys really....

So the question is in the title really! I read the thread about how to give a good BJ but is there such a thing as a bad one? What makes one a good one or not?

@MrsTombliboo I’m sorry you feel that way. That’s quite sad.

@AverageGuy I’m always kicking about here

heads off to practice on a cucumber

I wouldn't do a a BJ is I wasn't prepared to let my DH cum in my mouth. I love seeing his contorted face when he is spurting.

However, reading stuff in MN it seems to conflict with what I know....when I've been out with friends on a drunken night out we have had the "do you do BJ?" And if so if it spit or swallow? Nearly all my 30s and 40s friends admitted (or claimed) to do BJ and swallow....but unless the MN audience is totally different I suspect some are being dishonest lol

@Namechanged1010 I have never swallowed but been in long term relationship so... I ‘want’ to as guys seem to like that so I want to try

Namechanged - in my personal experience 15% of women who have given me a bj have swallowed, and i’ve slept with a reasonable number.

You'd have to purposefully be trying to do it bad to actually do it bad.

I wish my wife would get over her issue of it being where pee comes from and give it a try.

One guy I was with wanted me to keep the foreskin over the tip through the whole bj, which actually made it impossible. I don't know if he realised how impossible it was but it wasn't long before he was complaining that I didn't do them often enough (he very rarely went down, he was very lazy in bed, and if he did go down it was never more than a couple of minutes).

I have no problem with a man cumming in my mouth. Sometimes I swallow - if it shoots down the back of my throat at the right time. Otherwise I just sort of let it dribble out (not spit, that's gross).

But the main issue I have is that I like to have full sex and at the age I now am, most men I am with can't go more than once in a night, so he gets his and I don't get mine. Which is not acceptable to me.

@VanGoghsDog "But the main issue I have is that I like to have full sex and at the age I now am, most men I am with can't go more than once in a night, "

Yes I'm similar in that I also like full sex..he can still go a second time with a little recovery time so we mix it up. Sometimes he gives me oral (which he is bloody good at) and then I will reciprocate and he loves it knowing that he can cum and I will normally swallow, although occasionally he likes cumming elsewhere on me

If you take the head towards the back of your mouth (you don’t have to go beyond your comfort zone) just before the explosion, you can feel the pulse change, it just flows straight down. Simples!

As for it being where wee comes from, you wipe your bum with your hands, but you still eat with them! Nobody is suggesting hygiene is not important.

Good/bad? Quality? I’ve just printed off some feedback forms and put them in my bedside drawer. 😂

@Myotherusernamewastakenagain really though? There must be some things that make a bad BJ for you? That’s sad she feels that way. I don’t think like that with the wee thing as you can just have a wash before! For me it’s confidence and really not wanting to be shit at it hence why I haven’t done it for many years (plus my history) but I really want to be good at it and willing to learn hence the thread

@VanGoghsDog I’m the same, any kind of physical and I want sex, maybe I’m selfish? Maybe I need to learn to switch off and that I CAN just give a random BJ and it not have to equal sex.

What kind of age does this become an issue for guys not being able to go twice? I appreciate men are all different, just curious.

@StarlightLady I have such a strong gag reflex you wouldn’t believe. I can barely swallow tablets as it makes me retch and they come back up

@Beenawhile1
The recovery period is different for different men, for someone under say 30 probably about 30 minutes, I’m over 50, so probably over an hour maybe 2 now

@JustAnotherOldMan ah ok thanks. A couple of hours between is fine!! I thought we were talking only once a day...

@Beenawhile1

Its a matter of getting the amount right - too little and it can be uncomfortable- too much and there isn't enough friction to stimulate.

@justanotheroldman Front a personal point of view I've only ever been a once a night type of guy but I was able to be i control so it built up to a nice crescendo, plus I would wait until the lady had orgasmed . Having said that there was one time in my mid 50s where I was ready to go in 15 mins.

For me its like having a cup of tea - the first one is always the best, the second ones sounds like a good idea but its never going to be as good as the first one.

As the song goes 'it takes me all night to do what I used to do all night'

Like a cup of tea 🤣 I hear what you are saying about the second one!

So those that give the BJ’s how the hell do you deal with jaw ache?? Politely? Without turning the guy off? I don’t have an especially big mouth so if the guy has girth it’s a struggle!! PLUS how do you manage to keep your teeth out the way??

To the guys.... erm how hard do you actually suck?! Nowhere else could I ask these questions

@Beenawhile1

There are probably loads of videos giving you advice. I suppose you could practice on a peeled banana and aim not to leave any teeth marks.

As for girth - well I hear some snakes can dislocate their jaw in order to swallow large prey - maybe you could investigate this.

As for how to get better - practice practice practice

And remember - when you ask most guys to describe their worst BJs they say "fantastic"

@Beenawhile1
Pretend you’re eating a lolly, just don’t bite the end off 🤣

Female opinion, Start of by gently sucking the tip, you can also use your tongue by wrapping it around the tip when your mouth is over the head of his penis, then slowly move your lips towards the base, I then after some time apply my hand to the shaft and move my hand in a gentle twisty direction up and down his penis, whilst keeping my lips on the tip, licking around the head. The more saliva the better, not too rough and obviously no teeth This works for my DH anyway but obviously all men like different things.

I have a small mouth (obviously I don't tell men that!) and the jaw ache is a nightmare. The only answer is to change up what you're doing, so suck and when you ache, change to licking or just circling the tip with your tongue etc, until you feel you can go down again. Also, try to keep your muscles as loose and relaxed as you can, tensing them makes it worse.

Maybe alcohol helps.

Teeth - luckily for me I have smallish teeth so I can keep my lips over them.

Re the going again - well, being ready in two hours is fine but I'm also over 50 and I need my sleep!!

I have a tiny mouth and my guy is well endowed . Switch up between sucking , licking and hands . I get jaw ache for days after and also mild throat pain from deep throating but I kind of like the reminder .

@Beenawhile1 I think you should take heart from the experience of the OP on the other BJ thread. She ended up having a lovely time with her partner. Honestly, I think it’s such a lot to do with the connection you have with your partner. The willingness to genuinely want to please each other, to be able to communicate what you each like. I don’t think you need to rock up already fully accomplished. Your next partner will hopefully be delighted that you want to do it, that you want to please him. If you have genuine enthusiasm that’s a brilliant starting point. Eye contact and enjoying doing it are great foundations for everything else.

I came out of a long marriage feeling very unconfident. My first partner was lovely. Made me feel like I could do anything and that gave me confidence. I’m now in an online relationship which will hopefully become physical soon. It’s really evident from our sexy chat that he’s into different things than my last partner. That for him, a BJ is part of build up, not the main dish and there are differences too in the specifics of how he likes to be licked, sucked and touched.

I don’t feel like I’ve added much to what others have said but I’ve been in a similar frame of mind and it is possible to overcome your nerves and give your man a good time!

I am 46 and only began giving blow jobs when met latest husband 7 years ago. I feel still learning and havent swallowed yet. Do guys prefer this from their partner and if so are there any tips/advice on how I can approach first attempt. im hoping to try this month or next.

@RosieBeneden I much prefer if my wife swallows although it is treat that I do not get very often unless I wear a flavoured condom.

You could try covering his penis with cream or flavoured lube to mask the taste of cum or you could look at it this way as I do. When I go down on my wife I enjoy it and accept the taste of the genital area.

Hope this helps you but you have to discuss these issues openly or it will get in the way of a happy and fulfilling sex life

I’ve often heard this line there there is no such thing as a bad blowjob, maybe based on the fact that we men should be delighted at all that someone has our penis in their mouth.

I would argue that bad blowjobs do exist; I’ve had a fair few in my time and some have been amazing, others have been ok, and a few have been shockingly bad. They’re bad in the sense that they can end up being extremely frustrating (no rhythm, poor technique, whatever) and anticlimactic - no pun intended - which more often than not kills the mood a little bit. On occasion they’ve even been painful, which really kills the mood.

Personally I’ve never really cared if someone swallows or spits it out, once I’ve ejaculated there is no physical pleasure to be had from my partner swallowing - so IMO it’s purely a mental acceptance thing for some men to have their partner ingest it. However I will add that physically I much prefer ejaculating in the mouth than outside it, it always results in a stronger and more intense orgasm.

God yes! DP said he's had boring ones, painful ones, too much teeth, thin lipped ones. He'd rather not have them if they're crap.