How many sexual partners have you had?

[MummyDummyNow]

Was just thinking about past sexual partners/encounters and wondering what the average number is. I've just totted it up and I've slept with 20 men. It sounds quite a lot but not sure if it's more or less than average. How many people have you slept with? (I'm 40 btw, and with same partner for last 12 years).

[quote Whathewhatnow]@SimonJT that is probably a really good filter you have going there. Anyone who is willing to overlook sex for 3/4 months must really, really like you.
Question: when you have eventually done it, have you been sexually compatible? Can I ask that?!?! It's a bit personal.
For full disclosure I've never once waited but have had relationships with people on the whole spectrum of sexual and emotional compatability. Mostly... not, in the long run.[/quote]
Ha, you can ask anything, the worst someone can do is not answer.

Yeah we have, but I think you can tell if you’re sexually compatible when doing other sexual things really, so when you’ve had 3/4 months of mutually enjoyable handsy things, oral etc you know how the other persons body works etc.

I'm 53 and have had 55 different partners

I'm 41 and have had 0 partners, just to mess your statistics up

I'm 37 and I've only slept with 2 men including my now husband

40, 5 men, 5th and final when I met husband at 22

@SimonJT cheating. That doesn't count if you've done oral and handsy things. I agree that that would definitely select out anyone incompatible.

2, I'm 52.

One - been together since we were 17 and now 40. Had one previous bf whom I did a lot of what J17 used to call ‘heavy petting’ with, but not PIV sex.

5, including DP - and I'm 32.

2x long term relationships;
2x 'seeing each other' flings;
1x drunken one night thing with a friend of a friend.

Fast forward 2 years and I then started dating drunken one night guy... who is now DP! Been together 6 years. Funny how things work out.

Around 40, I'm 32, had a wild time in my 20s when I was single

Only 1 - DH.

I do wonder what it might be like with someone else, not because I’m not happy with what I have, it’s just curiosity.

About 70 men and a definite 5 women. I'm 33. Its going to get a lot higher. I'm always at it and don't intend to stop any time soon

I always see these surveys that say the average number is less than 10 for men and less for women but out of my friends (male and female) a lot of them say it's in the 30s up to 60s. My friends must be wild 😅

A lot depends omn whether you see sex as something women give or something to enjoy.

But how are these surveys worked out? Aside from threads like this, I’ve yet to have anybody come up to me in the street with a clipboard and say, excuse me, can l ask you how many people youv’e laid?

Ahhhh! Youv’e? You’ve! I don’t mind discussing sex in public, but getting the apostrophe wrong? The shame!

kedoo Those surveys are funny because the average number of men that women have had sex with has to be exactly the same as the average number of women that men have slept with. That's just a mathematical fact. The assumption has always been that women are consistently under-counting but it could be the other way round.

Natalialikes That is a mind boggling number! I would love to know more about who these men are and how you have achieved it!

@notevenat20 - Ah, but l think there are a significant number of women out there who have gone passed the curious stage. Nobody has turned up with a clipboard to ask that either.

StarlightLady I am not sure what you are replying to, sorry. I was merely referring to the fact that the average number of women men have had sex with has to be exactly the same as the average number of men women have had sex with. These surveys always report a higher number for men which means that either men, women or both are lying.

@notevenat20 I am still very happily married. We hate the term swingers but we do pursue a hedonistic lifestyle. Once upon a time i was very prudish. I managed to break free from the idea that i should feel shame if i don't have the same kind of sex life as most other people. Or that if i do i need to keep it a secret. A lot of the guys I've had sex with have been in adult clubs. It wouldn't be out of the question for me to walk out having had sex with 2 or 3 dif men whom i had never met prior that evening. If we go out once a month, it soon adds up but i can't say I'm counting exactly. As long as we enjoy it and aren't hurting anybody we will continue.

I felt ashamed and guilty about my number for a while. I think it's sad when women judge other women, or men judge women for that matter. Most men if they have a high number wear it like a badge of honour. I've definitely been slut shamed in the past by men and women. Don't understand why people judge others, live and let live I say, although I've not told anyone I've been in a relationship my number and I don't want to know theirs either really as I think it's irrelevant.

Full sex 2, oral and hands another 2. Have been with my current partner since my teens

2.5 and I am a 45 year old male. Competitive sport and then being very career driven meant I was late to the party. Married the first person I slept with, which led to an affair after 5 years. Fortunately everything worked out and I am back with my wife having had a bit more experience.

1. I'm mid 30s. I personally wish my number was a bit higher though

1. 10 year relationship from 16-26, a one night stand after leaving that relationship, a brief friend with benefits and my now DH.

22 ... age 30.