Fucking hell. Some of the responses here are absolutely ludicrous.
Lied?
Wasted 18 months of his life?!
I have some sad news for you - a high proportion of women do things they actively dislike or don’t want to do because they feel those acts are expected. The notion that all women are immediately upfront about what they do and don’t want to do is just so far removed from reality - I wish it weren’t, but it is.
Is it any surprise that the OP felt reluctant to reveal her lack of enthusiasm for this particular act when people have responses like this?
I definitely think sex is important. I also value my partner’s enthusiastic consent for every single thing we do, and the fact that our relationship is larger than sex and that all relationships mean compromises.
If I were in an otherwise excellent, relatively short term relationship with an otherwise excellent sex life...
If my partner revealed 18 months in that actually they really dislike doing a certain thing that happens to be my favourite thing sexually, my only concern would be that my enthusiasm has inadvertently made them feel obligated to do something they don’t want to do. It wouldn’t be happening again. I would not feel tricked or lied to, i would feel that our relationship had reached a place of mutual trust and be happy about it.
If it was something they weren’t a fan of, but would be happy to do on rare occasions, i would be happy to be led by them on when it happens and there’d be no pressure from me to do it more often.
If it was the only sex act I enjoyed then that would be problematic, but if it was a case of something I marginally prefer over all the other awesome stuff we do, there’d be no issue at all. If it was the only way I could orgasm, we’d work on finding other ways to make it happen that we both enjoy. Years ago I thought I could only orgasm one way, mainly due to useless sexual partners who didn’t care to find any others!
Of course if this was a FWB situation purely about sex then that may be a different story, but for a proper relationship with so many other factors, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker or anywhere close if the rest of the relationship and our sex life were great.
Early on in our relationship there were particular things I didn’t want to do due to negative past associations. Over time and as trust developed my feelings on those things changed. On the flip side, I recently told my DH of 10 years that there’s a certain thing I don’t want to do any more, and that’s that - I know it’s something he really likes, which is why I’ve done it, but it’s gone from something I was ambivalent about to actively disliking. I would never want him to do something he actively disliked for my benefit, no matter how much I like it.
Some of this is just really depressing.
OP, I hope you continue to be honest and that should other things arise during experimentation that you decide you’re not keen on. I know from experience how hard it can be to say “actually, I’m not comfortable with that”. You absolutely did the right thing speaking up and should never feel like you can’t be honest about your preferences.