I can't stop masturbating (F)

[floribama]

Posting here for traffic.

DP and I haven't had sex in months, it never lasts long enough to satisfy me & DP is a bit of a prude & refuses to go down on me etc, etc.

I've lost interest in having sex now, because all I masturbate every morning and I do watch porn.

I'm horny often, but not for DP.

Reckon we can get our spark back and ever enjoy sex again?

Maybe it's worth mentioning we have two DC and are late 20's - early 30's, both healthy and exercise often

A man who doesn't eat pussy would be a deal breaker for me

Are you just not interested in sex with your DP at the moment because he won't do certain things you think would feel good, and you don't tend to finish?

What about investing in some toys and use them on you first so that you enjoy yourself more during?

Have you talked together about different things you would like to try?

Again? Did you ever together? It doesn't sound like you were ever sexually compatible.

where do you find the time to do it every morning. not being rude just curious.

Why does he refuse to go down on you?

He sounds selfish, I couldn't stay with someone like this

Good point PringleCat

I used to enjoy the excitement of sleeping with him but I don't think we've ever been sexually compatible.

I've tried to broach the subject and discuss our fantastic etc but he's very closed off about it. It's almost as if he finds me trashy for wanting to talk about it.

I know it sounds messed up, but I've sometimes wondered if he was ever sexually abused because of how he reacts.

He doesn't make me feel desired or sexy, when we occasionally have sex it seems pretty forced and rehearsed so I don't really have any interest in it

What does your DH say to it all?

Ihopeyouwitchesareready my youngest is nearly 2 and has recently taken up sleeping until 7:30 and I wake about 6:45 so I have a bit of 'me time'. It sounds so seedy now I've wrote it down

Are you sure he's straight?

I'd say you need to speak to your DH and be honest with him about how your sex life makes you feel. If he is awkward and won't talk, ask him why. He needs to be honest as well.

X post!

Would your DH consider counselling? If it's important to you to have a sex life with him then I would make counselling a condition of you not leaving him.

Wendyimhome he says he's never enjoyed it but I don't think he's that experienced and is maybe shy. I've never pressed him about it. Whenever we do become intimate I do my best to make him feel confident.

Struggling he doesn't say much. He just goes 'oh babe...' and either pulls a disgusted face or changes the subject.

It would be a deal breaker for me OP. Do you really want to spend your 30s not feeling desired?

I was just wondering what the replies would be if this thread was by a husband about their DW

If the sexes were reversed I don't think anyone would suggest that the woman was gay because she didn't like giving head. Some people just don't like doing oral.

NoPunani I'd like to say yes but no I'm not so sure... He's quite disgusted by gay men sometimes and that makes me feel as though he's over compensating!

He's like a typical 'bloke'. Works with his hands, is very macho, just no sex.

Gamerchick no! I'm never going to look this young or good again so I need to make the most of it but I just love him so much

Choices:

Accept your sex life is a solo affair (the daily masturbation sounds normal, I thought from your title it would be ten times a day)

Leave

Have an affair

I can't see him changing, but you could lay it out as a deal breaker. It wasn't initially though, if he hasn't changed? So have you changed, or did you hope he would, with time?

Consider if he is actually gay, or asexual, or even having his own affair.

Tricky. I'd leave, as you are so young, and will probably end up being unfaithful eventually out of frustration.

Planespotting I imagine the replies would be similar if it was toward a predominantly male audience

ISdads we had kids pretty soon into our relationship when we would have sex often, like any relationship (I'm assuming) the amount we have sex got less and less.

And to be honest I thought he might change. I won't have an affair but I am frustrated and beginning to become resentful. Which is very unfair.

My ex was like this. He was having several affairs.

If I was writing to a man, I guess I would factor in pregnancy/birth/tiredness as possible reasons (but not if it pre-dated the kids). But really ... how does it change the options? You can't make someone want to have sex with you, you can only deal with your own (re)actions, and they are too young to realistically live this way forever.

Leeeeeeaaaaaavvvvveee.

That is all.

Seriously, I could have written your OP 10 or so years ago. In my case, DH has isshoos stemming from childhood - and I feel for him so I don't leave even when he's a total arse. But it makes me sad. And bitter. And fat. Leave. Honestly.