I can't stop masturbating (F)

[floribama]

Posting here for traffic.

DP and I haven't had sex in months, it never lasts long enough to satisfy me & DP is a bit of a prude & refuses to go down on me etc, etc.

I've lost interest in having sex now, because all I masturbate every morning and I do watch porn.

I'm horny often, but not for DP.

Reckon we can get our spark back and ever enjoy sex again?

I dream about having sex with him a lot, but more so about holding and looking at his cock

Wha?

Is he secretly into porn? It will kill his real sex drive for proper sex and if he's been bought up that it's taboo he'll probably not admit to it hence the denial of having fantasies etc. Just a thought

Surely if he was into porn would be going down on her all the time just as her friendly local plumber.

Honestly it's a difficult situation. No one deserves a sexless marriage where they are constantly knocked back or rejected but at the same time you can't pester someone for sex if they don't want it.

I'm wondering if he is asexual actually. He sounds it. All I can suggest is that you try and get him to talk about it at a time when he won't see it as you pushing him to actually do it.

He makes a disgusted face if you mention sex?! Sounds like a teenager talking to his mum. I’d guess he’s very inexperienced, doesn’t know quite what to do and you need to take baby steps and teach him. If the drinking makes him more confident and happy to experiment it sounds like he’s insecure.

That said maybe he just only likes extremely conventional sex and there’s nothing wrong with that but you’d have to work out how you feel about it.

There could be always trauma, or religion, in his past but it doesn’t sound like it to me.

What actually makes you wonder if he was abused as a child? I'm asking as it's quite a bold statement to make

I dream about having sex with him a lot, but more so about holding and looking at his cock. It's all very sad

This sentence has MADE MY DAY 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bit early in the morning for this type of talk isn't it ladies? 😂

Never too early to talk about sex. Like the actual practical side, the theory doesn't just have to happen when it's dark.

Good point @theworldistoosmall

Hello,

We've had a few reports about this thread asking if it would be better off in our Sex topic. As the OP's been around for a fair while, we're moving it over there now.

@YepImafraidIchangeditagain
Surely if he was into porn would be going down on her all the time just as her friendly local plumber.

😂😂😂😂😂**

@yep you did make me smile. But it was a serious suggestion...

Beside: classy girl? I'll take multiple orgasms over class thanks.

I’m afraid I couldn’t imagine a sexless relationship or regular sex without oral; I have needs. It’s a shame all this wasn’t identified at the beginning.

The title of this thread puzzled me. I masturbate once or twice a day usually (it’s healthy!) and l have regular partner sex, so I don’t think you should any concerns there.

With the bigger picture, it really sounds, as difficult as it may be, that you should consider then opportunity of meeting someone else.

As a man, I'm in almost the opposite situation.

I've posted previously about my sex life with my DW, but just to recap, she will not let me kiss her passionately, masturbate her, or go down on her, and heaven forbid she would go down on me.

We do have sex, but maybe once every two weeks?

So you are not on your own!

Our sex life used to be much better, but things changed after the birth of our 2nd child.

We are talking about it, and maybe we'll get back to where we were, but I'm not holding my breath.

Good luck OP!

We do have sex, but maybe once every two weeks?

What are you monaing about?, it was once every few months here before we split!

Two weeks eh?, luxury!

No.

I would talk to him and then move on OP. My ex was like this, I ended up sad and depressed from the rejection. Now I male sure a man has a similar sex drive (I know it's tricky as usually in the beginning sex is good).

I know it sounds messed up, but I've sometimes wondered if he was ever sexually abused because of how he reacts.

The fuck? @floribama

Some people really don’t need sex, they don’t get sexual wanting or lust. There is no greater excitement in this life than being about to get your rocks off with someone you really want. This is the fundamental problem with monogamy where, no matter how hard we try, that feeling naturally subsides. So play with yourself to your heart’s content and continue to look forward to that W next exhilarating moment. We are all entitled to that.

Surprised that people would be surprised at a man not enjoying giving oral...and even suggesting he might be gay haha.
I must know an awful lot of closet gays if that's the case.

Not particular keen on it myself either but it's part of the ritual so it's only right that I return the favour.
Would quite happily give it a miss tho.
Not my idea of fun.

If he ain't trying to have sex with you, he's either:

• Medically something wrong (T levels, depression)
• Low self esteem (let himself go, rejected sex a lot)
• Having sex with someone else
• Secretly gay (highly unlikely)

@SkinnyPete

Or, and don't flame me because we can't rule it out...

• He just has a naturally low or missing libido, without a specific medical issue.

- He doesn't fancy her or find her sexually attractive (any more). - He doesn't enjoy sex (with her) any more, for whatever reason.

@stressguy... Could be

My understanding of the large majority of guys that don't want sex with their partner is because the wife acts as gatekeeper (denials, rejections, get over it) which erodes his self esteem or attraction to her.

After that, it's because they're getting it elsewhere. However, most men I've known that cheat are still having sex with their partners if the partner is still receptive. Cheating normally happens because there's (in a male brain) very little sex and a good opportunity presents itself.

Then there's low testosterone (naturally low libido). Not that common, but definitely something to be checked out if the guy has his head in his hands not understanding what's going on.