"If she didn't come, he didn't bang her hard enough"

[WickedLazy]

Said by male friend to me tonight. Or a variation of this. He said that he thought over 90% of the women he'd had sex with, had orgasamed just through penetration alone. I tried to explain how the clit works, and that most women can't orgasm without clit stimulation. I don't think he grasped what I was on about?

He argued that if you "bang a woman hard enough" she'll come. That's all it takes. Then he changed the subject. For me, just being pentrated for a long time can be quite tedious. And going harder or deeper isn't going to do much for me if it's past the 10 minute mark (10 mins of just pentration I mean). Are most of a womans nerves not in the first few inches of her vagina? This guy has a big penis, and I feel like he thinks that's all it takes? I imagine his technique outside penetration would be woeful.

So my questions, why do so many men not understand how to make a woman orgasm?? Is it ignorance, selfishness, indifference, or what? How likely is it this guy really made over 15 woman (that's a guess, possibly more) come just through penetration? I'm inclined to believe they've been faking it to spare his feelings? He also doesn't really believe in foreplay, or kissing during sex! Surely kissing and foreplay are what get most women ready for sex, are an integral part, and often how they orgasm? He said something once like "kissing is only for puppy love when you're a kid". Sex for him really seems to mean put penis in vagina and go.

Another question, do men generally actually enjoy foreplay, or is it something they tolerate to please the woman? Do they really want the kind of sex my mate seems to enjoy, but know that most women wouldn't tolerate that for long, would get sick of it, or don't want to be selfish?

[WickedLazy]

"As for women fearing that men will kill them, yes it's all too true in some societies and that's a dreadful thing"

In some societies. Just not ours?

And you think it wouldn't be tolerated. If the woman is tolerating it, she's not going to be telling anyone about it. As I said before, a lot goes on behind closed doors.

[dogfish1]

OK, it's true for a small minority of very unfortunate people in ours if that helps, although I think that's implicit tbh. Not sure why you're suggesting I say otherwise.

I would bet 100 to 1 that no woman I know is secretly tolerating domestic violence from her partner. Of course I'm not secretly recording 30 or so different couples. But the women I know and work with don't take any shit. An abusive man would be kicked out into a bedsit, in the divorce court and paying child support in no time.