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Original poster

Am I the only one who can't do 'girl on top'?

45 replies

Ilovespringandchocolate · 20/04/2017 23:03

As title really. I feel like a freak but I've just never been able to do it? I feel awkward, I don't know what I'm
meant to be doing, I HATE being gawped at and I've never, ever come from this position.

What am I doing (or not doing) that everyone else is?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 20/04/2017 23:05

Sounds like you're too self concious. "Gawped at" is a weird phrase. Are you in a committed relationship or is this just one night stands or brief flings?

Original poster

Ilovespringandchocolate · 20/04/2017 23:11

No, I'm in a committed relationship, but I really, really hate being watched, I always have.

That's not really the issue though, the issue is, I can't get enough clitirol stimulation from girl on top to be able to come? Hell, I can't seem to get any! So I must be doing something wrong because most women I know prefer to be on top and never stop raving about it.

My partner would also like for me to go on top more, but I just can never be bothered because I get zilch all out of it

OP posts:

Littlebee76 · 21/04/2017 05:33

Try going on top but laying down on him to start with so he's not 'gawping' at you, it might get you more confidence and practice before you start sitting up..

donajimena · 21/04/2017 05:40

A nice strappy nightie thing?

Only1scoop · 21/04/2017 05:41

Reverse.... So you don't have any of the gawping at all

PenelopeFlintstone · 21/04/2017 05:47

You're not the only one.

Achoopichu · 21/04/2017 05:50

BLindfold him

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/04/2017 06:10

Agreed op. You're not the only one. Couldn't do it these days if I tried due to ill health.

annandale · 21/04/2017 06:14

I always disliked on top due to total lack of pleasure but if I pretty much Li down on top of him, or at least angle really far forward, it's better. Also best if he just lies there. If you don't like being watched, blindfold him? For me I also like it if he holds me really tightly.

Emboo19 · 21/04/2017 07:30

I only really get clitiriol stimulation (enough to orgasm anyway) in any position if my bf also uses his hands. On top I find if I lean back but push my hips forward it hits my g spot just right and seen as my bf's just laid there he can easily do the clitirirol stimulation part. Or I face away from him (which may help with confidence issue) and lean forwards slightly and again that hits my g spot, and I'll usually use my own hand if I need to.

If you're not confident that will effect your pleasure too though. As others have suggested try blindfolded or keeping some clothing on. Or how about doing a different position or getting him to make you orgasm through oral first, then just going on top to finish him off! You might get more confident if you aren't doing it for as long.
It's rare me and my boyfriend stay in the same position all the way through sex anyway.

robinia · 21/04/2017 07:55

Blindfold him or blindfold you.
Masturbate at the same time or better still he masturbates you.
Angle back (within acceptable range for dp ie be careful he is still comfortable!) for stimulation of G spot. G spot stimulation is why I prefer girl on top to several other positions.

sammylady37 · 21/04/2017 08:45

Nope, you're not the only one. I HATE going on top- I too dislike being 'gawked at' (and reverse just means he's gawking at my arse, so doesn't solve the problem for me), am always worried he'll slip out and I'll mistime my movements and crash down on him, thus hurting him, feel I never get the rhythm right etc etc etc. It really does nothing for me and I hate it

moonchild77 · 21/04/2017 08:48

Try putting a pillow under his bum. I hate being looked at too so try to wear something to cover myself!

Original poster

Ilovespringandchocolate · 21/04/2017 09:50

Hmm, maybe I need to practice more. I've tried almost like lying down on him, I think it felt a bit better, but he's not THAT big iyswim so I was worried he'd fall out and the effort of keeping him 'in' distracted me.

I don't know, I come fairly easily from doggy style, spooning and him on top but with my legs almost together if that makes sense? But I just can't seem to get the correct angle or clitirol stimulation in girl on top to do anything. I did think about perhaps using my bullet, but do lack confidence to do that too

OP posts:

Vigbymumparis · 21/04/2017 10:07

I like it because I get to control the movement. As for clitoral stimulation, I find DP's arms are just the right length to reach...

noego · 21/04/2017 16:45

Yehaa!!

Love this position. Plenty of confidence needed. Blokes like to see women on top, masturbating and fucking at the same time. Have a few wines and let yourself go.

ThatItBe · 21/04/2017 17:36

I never really enjoyed getting on top as I felt I didn't know what to do and didn't get much out of it.
However with current partner and at a more mature age which means I don't give a monkeys about how I look, sound or whether he is going to be able to come I have started to love it.
You can get some good feelings internally on the g spot from experimenting with different angles and trying different movements. I find it helps to close my eyes and concentrate on what feelings I'm getting.
As pps have said you can also rub yourself, have him rub you or get a vibrator on your clitorus. I do know that the vibrator bit can be daunting but fuck it, you're there for pleasure and if it works then go for it.

On a side note I cannot get my DP to come in this position and would love to, any tips? He says it's just not going to happen. He enjoys it though and it gives him a rest!

chajazam · 21/04/2017 19:12

Why not start with a modified version where he is sitting up (either in bed or on a chair/sofa) so you're more face to face to get you used to the movements you both like and he can't see your body. It's more intimate and you can kiss, he can use his arms to guide you- he shouldn't be totally passive in this position . When you get more used to it use the strength in your arms/core/thighs to guide you up down (squeeze your muscles as he goes "in"), grind back forward and maybe in a circle movement and you'll find the spot you like. Move to more traditional girl on top as and when you gain confidence.

SnapCrackleOutOfIt · 21/04/2017 23:27

I love it on top! Love it when DH plays with my breasts when I lean forward and he sucks on my nipples!! Have to stop myself from coming really quickly If I'm on top!

Littlebee76 · 22/04/2017 06:17

That once I've orgasmed I bring my feet forward and go in a squatting position which always makes dh come.
Your thighs have to be pretty strong though but he gets a full frontal so makes him orgasm pretty quick!

ThatItBe · 22/04/2017 08:07

It'd have to be quick in that position as I don't think I could keep it going for long

Littlebee76 · 22/04/2017 08:27

You do soon build up the strength in your thighs but fortunately it doesn't normally take that long

thebakerwithboobs · 22/04/2017 10:14

I agree with the previous poster who said that if you try it in a sitting position you'll find you can be much closer, kiss etc which reduced what you see as 'gawking'-my husband has a weights bench which also does very nicely Once you grow in confidence you might feel you can go on top with him lying down-I'm afraid I'm in the 'can't go for long or it's all over for me' crowd in that position.

I also think it's sad for you that you view your partner looking and admiring your naked body as 'gawking'. One of the most beautiful things about sexual relationships is that intimacy and closeness which includes the fact that the attraction is mutual. You notice your flaws, but I bet he doesn't! In bed, as you 'gawking' at him or simply looking at his body because it turns you on? Just food for thought.

Emboo19 · 22/04/2017 11:36

ThatItBe I think it's just about trying different ways and communication. My partner needs the rhythm to be a bit more consistent so if I switch it up too much, he won't cum.

What works best for us both, is lots of foreplay then I start slowly with lots of teasing him, he really likes if I lean back and use my hand to rub on the base of his penis or play with myself a bit (sorry for tmi, thinking I should have name changed fur this )
If I've finished and he hasn't, he holds my hips and takes over moving me, as quickly as he needs. I usually lean back and he does a kind of half sit up, so we're in a kinda v position really. We both tend to get a good rhythm that way, that we can keep up until he cums.

BackInBlack78 · 22/04/2017 13:27

I'm not sure what I'm doing but it's the only position I can cum in! 3 partners over the last 10 years have had no problem in the same position with me...

Maybe kinda tilt yourself forward to get a direct clitoral hit?

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