Never seen anything like this.

[UserWhatever]

I had a new partner over the summer whom I've seen on and off and I’ve not seen anything like it before.

In a nut shell, he cant have an orgasm through regular sex. He just does not climax without a herculean effort which is often far too painful and goes on too long for me.

He wasnt too bad the first time we were together over a weekend. But lately he cant stay hard long enough to put a condom on so that takes ages as you have to keep starting again and then he goes at is as hard and fast and deep as he can and I had to tell him to stop as it was hurting.

So then he says he has to use his hand. He says he masturbates every day and he absolutely had to climax this time or he would be frustrated all day if he didnt. He asked after did you come? Yeah of course I did with 30 seconds of it like that.

He said he should probably stop masturbating so much and get some sensitivity back. But I thought this was a myth?

The first few times it was ok. Enjoyable and he was concerned for my pleasure. This time I felt I was just there to facilitate an orgasm for him. It is so hard for him to climax that he seems to get wound up about it and I guess that puts him off more. I got no enjoyment at all from it last time and he barely asked.

Anti depressants don't make you an inconsiderate lover.

very true diazepam.

he seems to get wound up by it.He was saying to me last time, I really want to make you come. And he went on and on trying and I was like, just never mind. He seems to feel the way about his own.

Sex isnt all about climaxing.....i wonder if the more wound up he gets the more he doesnt perform.

Who cares why? His attitude sounds shit.

I'd find someone else until he was a loving partner in all other regards.

Actually no I wouldn't. Life is too short for bad sex.

I can personally vouch for the fact that this is utter nonsense.
It's happened to me before. If I use my vibrator too much I can find it almost impossible to make myself orgasm any other way. It's easily fixed by abstaining for a while but it can cause frustration in the meantime.

To the men who swear blind that this is impossible, have you been through several years of not having any female partner during which time you masturbated every day? How many men chat openly to their mates about not being able to maintain an erection or having difficulty in orgasming?

This also seems to affect younger men more than older ones because older men had a more normal introduction to sex whereas younger men's first experiences of sexual stimulation were through the prolific use of online porn. When they go through years of that with few or no female partners, that's what their bodies become accustomed to.

If you have had lots of sex or masturbation in a short period of time, do you never get to the point where it is harder to cum? And the firmer grip of a hand is more likely to finish you off? Because I've definitely experienced this in several relationships.

Because I've definitely experienced this in several relationships

Are you saying you've dated a bunch of wankers? (joke)

I would stop trying to analyse why he is so shit in the sack and dump him

It's not your responsibility to cure him

Leave it to AnyFucker to be so blunt all the time.

I can't imagine that the sexual encounters you describe are filled with warmth, consideration, fun and mutual pleasure. Which, for me is crucial, non negotiable, and particularly in the early days.

So, what AnyF, and other posters have said.

Not blunt, but precise. Clear.

Get rid ! He's a selfish bastard only satisfied with pleasing himself.

To physically hurt you like that is unacceptable - the brute !

He picked the worst position to shag of he needs a tight grip.

If, not of

Out of the bedroom.... whats he like?

He was alright the first few times.

Outside the bedroom he is nice. He makes me laugh. Is funny. He comes across as a bit arrogant though.

He may be funny but he's a selfish fucker in bed. You'll probably find out that he's selfish in other ways as well. Get rid of him.

What is the issue with being blunt here ?

Keep him if you wish. But he is shit in bed.

Olennas how is that a stealth boast?

You're probably right. He is probably selfish in other ways. Someone else can deal with his issues.

Thanks for the biscuit itsbetterthan, but I thought that the made it clear that my comment was lighthearted. Perhaps I should have said

Mumsnet has spoken!

Oleanna dont worry I knew you were joking about the stealth boast! The made it very clear.

I didnt explain it well....I meant my feet behind his head really not my head. Legs pinned back and feet over his shoulders really. Everytime he does it and every time I say I dont like that.

He does ask me to go on top which would give me control I guess.....I should have really. But I dont think me on top would be enough stimulation either.

Life's too short for bad sex, OP

I know. But when it maybe the only option.....lol

I feel like you're writing about my dp. Learnt everything he knows from a bad porn addiction. Trying to teach him slowly real life isnt like that. Its a slow process.