to be ridiculously excited to have just booked tickets for a swinging club for NYE party?

[goodcompany2]

First time without kids on NYE in 7 years and excited!!!

Have to agree with my fellow swingers on this thread that there's a lot of judginess and misconceptions.

A friend of mine who is also a swinger is a sexual health nurse! She says she'd rather swing than chance it with people who naively and incorrectly think that because they've only slept with a few people they're not at risk of STDs. Currently the sectors with rising STD levels are apparently pensioners and of course hard partying youngsters.

All the swingers I know get tested regularly, are scrupulous about their condom use and are far more aware of the consequences of STDs than most.

I've met some really lovely people from many varied and interesting backgrounds. The atmosphere at a club is way less aggressive than at nightclubs to be honest. Partly ime because the clubs in order to maintain their reputation (and therefore good business) are very hot on 'no means no' and simply won't tolerate anyone that's aggressive or won't take no for an answer. The one I go to won't tolerate lairy, overtly drunken nonsense either and will throw out anyone who behaves this way. And if someone is thrown out that's a permanent ban.

In addition the setting is amazing, and the owners make a lot of effort to make it so.

And of course you're not 'stuck' with anyone. It's all consensual and very polite and considerate.

I'd far rather have a night at a swingers club than a 'normal' nightclub especially at nye!

I'm sure the reason its ticketed is huge demand and certainly not just from men.

As for one partner suggesting swinging first. Of course that's a part of it but another thing that happens is couples that have met through swinging.

I understand that in the UK the 'norm' is monogamy but I do think it's not on to judge those of us for whom that doesn't appeal.

We don't force swinging/polygamy etc on the monogamous, why should the reverse be acceptable?

But there are buffets, no?

Oh the buffets are amazing too! Sometimes themed if a particular celebration eg halloween

Surely buffets depend on who is doing the catering? You can get rubbish catering anywhere.

That said I am not a fan of communal food.

The buffets are no different from any you'd get at any party. Finger food, sandwiches, sausage rolls, onion baghis ( can't spell them!), chicken wings. And I agree that people who frequent swingers' clubs are v mindful of STIs and carry condoms and clubs tend to provide them too.

I'd be stood next to the buffet table repeatedly shouting HAVE YOU WASHED YOUR HANDS?

I thought the buffet would be posher than that. Bit fatty and heavy for all that exertion.

But you need the carbs!

But for the more health conscious amongst you there are often crudités... < awaits barrage of double entendres...>

The ignorance and slut shaming on this thread is disgusting.

OP enjoy your night.

Do the lights come on at buffet time, like at social club wedding parties?

For those of you who are curious about the etiquette at these clubs, this is a link to what one well respected club asks and IME, most clubs are like this. It really is a female friendly environment, otherwise it just wouldn't work, totally respectful of women ( men will get kicked out if they're not ) and welcoming to newcomers.

www.jay-dees.co.uk/etiquette/4552811774

Saucyswinger intrigued. which club/region are you? Still looking for a favourite club as the one we loved has fallen out of favour and has been too quiet for our liking last few visits.
Agreed re STI's . We've been honest about our choices at the GUM clinic and get checked regularly. No nasties to date!

I would never chose buffet style dining. I've seen too many sneezers/coughers etc.

Am I buffet- shaming?

Importantly, will there be a chocolate fountain?

Nope not repelled by anyone's sexuality - not the slightest bit interested in anyone else's sex life. I think it's seedy, it was posted in AIBU, just my opinion. Cheating on your partner - even with their permission just doesn't interest me. As I said each to their own.

How can it be cheating if there's no dishonesty?

Thing is, it was blatantly obvious to everyone what the thread was about. If you were going to clutch your pearl necklaces and be horrified, why open the thread.

I don't think its for me, personally, a fantasy maybe, but not in reality but if someone else wants to do it, then go for it. I find it quite interesting - i think you would have to be extremely secure in your relationship and sure of yourself and there probably is potential for a less confident partner to go along with it when they might not be entirely happy, but its a case of horses for courses.

I think some were hoping for an amusing typo originally LEM and it started off in AIBU before being moved.

saucyswinger "And of course you're not 'stuck' with anyone. It's all consensual and very polite and considerate. "

i have to say, that doesn't sound very sexy surely there comes a time when the politeness dissipates??

The politeness etc is merely to establish all parties are interested/consent, what acts you do/don't participate in. After that... anything goes!

I've had a lot of fun since discovering this side of myself.

As I said its just my opinion it's cheating - even with your partners permission, having sex with a person that isn't your partner. LEM I'm not clutching anything - this was in AIBU when it was first posted before it was moved. What people get up to is up to them, I do think it's sad and seedy and generally emotions always get in the way eventually.

You can't redefine a word because you have an opinion. Swinging is not cheating, it's polyamory. And while it's not for everyone, I think it's immature and slut shaming to describe it as sad and seedy just because it's not your personal preference.

Swinging is so not cheating! Both parties want to do it and mostly they look pretty damn happy doing it. I've always thought that with infidelity it's not the actual sex that destroys the relationship it's the deceit that does it. Swinging couples don't enter into this lightly and as I said before sometimes it's the woman who is bi and the partner is happy to accommodate that and there are many men that are happy to give their partners the freedom to be with other men, some are cuckolds. There's a whole range of diverse sexualities out there and they are all as valid as monogamy.