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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to be ridiculously excited to have just booked tickets for a swinging club for NYE party?

501 replies

goodcompany2 · 07/12/2015 13:05

First time without kids on NYE in 7 years and excited!!! Blush

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/12/2015 00:16

Is that true that people are grouped like cattle by marks out of ten based on how they look in photographs ?

That is fucking horrible

I was always under the impression that the Swinging contingent were less hooked up on looks and status therein

Not so inclusive then ? Xmas Confused

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/12/2015 00:29

Not at any of the club nights I know of AF.

annandale · 08/12/2015 00:30

I wouldn't think it's that explicit, is it AF? More like they require a photo id for the tickets and some people find it's always booked up? Something like that.

It's true that one reason I'd never do this is that I don't want to see that 'don't fancy yours much' expression on the face of a prospect's partner.

AnyFucker · 08/12/2015 00:30

But people are saying so like it's an established practice ??

Eekaman · 08/12/2015 01:04

I understand that some groups, (I think killing kittens might be one) vet applicants photographs and select attendees according to perceived hotness. Other groups have upper age limits.

The vast majority of clubs are open to all; younger, older, 10/10's, 2/10's, as they are, most commonly, non discriminatory and generally, most people aren't 10's in real life...

And ime, in many cases, visitors only have sexual contact with their partners, finding the location, the views, being watched, the whole experience, to be sufficiently exciting to float their boat. A friend of mine reckons it's actually a minority of club attendees that have sex with others and the majority do not. Again, ime, I'm not sure of the figures having not carried out detailed surveys, :) but you most definitely are not 'allocated' your partner(s) for the night. There is never ANY compunction or pressure on anybody to do anything they might not want to.

And as my DW always tells me, 'it's great as, for once, the women are in total charge.'' If a women says no, or declines an advance, thats it. We've been in regular clubs and she's been groped or aggressively hit on, this has never happened on our occasional swinger club visits as the offender would be told to leave. I've always found swingers clubs to be extremely respectful and polite, not a forceful free for all in any way.

We aren't in the UK any longer, but my two buddies who are still active on the UK scene tell me that Chameleons in the Midlands and LeBoudior near Heathrow are both jolly good fun.

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/12/2015 01:11

Photo id would be a big no-no for the clubs I know.Shock

cleaty · 08/12/2015 03:00

A bit sad that a woman saying no being respected, is seen as "the women are in total charge".

Enjolrass · 08/12/2015 04:51

Do the lights come on at buffet time, like at social club wedding parties?

you see this would put me off. We all look a bit more attractive in dim lights.

Enjolrass · 08/12/2015 05:00

Oh my god!! Jaydees has a cinema?

Who goes there to watch a film? When I watch a film, I get annoyed by people noisily eating popcorn.....this would drive me insane!

DiscoDiva70 · 08/12/2015 06:41

A pp pointed out that swingers clubs are 'respectful' because the women are not groped like they can be in clubs, as they would be told to leave.

I'd say that's precisely why women aren't groped, not because the men have more respect for them, but because they don't want to get kicked out!

Anyway, each to their own, but my idea of spending any night, let alone NYE lying there having someone's 'sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, fifths...... ' doesn't appeal to me!

goodcompany2 · 08/12/2015 09:12

There are a very few clubs that vet applicants; either for age or attractiveness (thank god or I'd not get into one!!!!). Most require a id preferably photo as they require a membership id for local council planning compliance and to meet the no U21's policy most have.

AF is right, the lifestyle is very non-judgemental and Clive and Jane would be accepted as just doing their thing without any unkind comments.

OP posts:
Destinysdaughter · 08/12/2015 10:35

And the clubs that have cinemas, they're not exactly showing Disney films...

Madbengalmum · 08/12/2015 10:49

Sounds a strange question but the smell of sex, other peoples would put me off for life. Just sounds really seedy.

AnyFucker · 08/12/2015 12:35

Maybe they have Plug Ins dotted around the place ?

Enjolrass · 08/12/2015 12:44

And the clubs that have cinemas, they're not exactly showing Disney films

so they are showing what?

Porn?

That puts me off tbh. I don't like porn as it is. The whole porn industry makes me uncomfortable.

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2015 12:45

I was thinking something like Sex Toy Story. Grin

AnyFucker · 08/12/2015 12:46

Arf

LagunaBubbles · 08/12/2015 13:27

Slut shaming just because I thinking sleeping with someone else other than your partner is sad and seedy? Get away with you. Hmm

Its just a question of values isnt it - we all have different ones. Being faithful to the one person is important to me, and part of that is only having sex with them, not any random stranger, and trust in someone they would be the same with me is also important. Thats why I view swinging as cheating with permission.

I dont view this as a "typical MN response" - its just my own personal attitude to sex and relationships - I dont need to "swing" to enjoy sex. Again this thread originally started in AIBU before either MN moved it or OP asked for it to be moved - the OP was asking a question.

FrostyNipples · 08/12/2015 13:35

Fuck that.

If I started judging grown consenting adults on their sex choices I wouldn't ever get my pinny ironed or my spuds peeled.

Have at it OP don't get drunk and don't feel obligated. Xmas Grin

suzannecaravaggio · 08/12/2015 13:44

Thats why I view swinging as cheating with permission

That is an illogical statement

If you have permission it cannot, by definition be cheating

LagunaBubbles · 08/12/2015 14:50

Illogical maybe but I do think of it like that. Because you arent being faithful to your partner no matter if they agree, watch etc. Not for me - each to their own. Hope its everything you want it to be OP!

SolidGoldBrass · 08/12/2015 15:05

There are a few clubs that judge by looks - I have always steered well clear (well, they wouldn't let me in: by the time I was hitting the clubs regularly I was too old anyway.) I have no personal experience of those but have heard a few anecdotes to suggest they are the least enjoyable and the most likely to have sex workers outnumber women visitors who are going for the fun of it.

In general, I'm not surprised by the amount of mundanes screaming and pearl clutching on this thread. Each to their own in terms of what you do and don't fancy trying, sure. But people who are noisily insistent that a) anything other than monogamy is 'sad' or 'horrible' and b) banging on about the unattractiveness of other people ('fat', 'old' etc) you're the ones deluding yourselves. You're the mugs. You've bought into the idea that a 'good' relationship is about your partner being your property, along with the idea that only the young, thin and expensively dressed are allowed to have sex, and that ordinary or aging bodies are disgusting. The whole heavily-pushed intersecting ideas that sex is only valid if it happens between perfect people in a monogamous relationship is all about capitalism and patriarchy - making people obsess about who they own and about their own imperfections, and spend their money on consumer goods to make them 'sexier'.

Have fun, OP. I have a rough idea where you're heading, I think, and I recall they have a nice swimming pool there.

suzannecaravaggio · 08/12/2015 15:22

mundanes screaming and pearl clutching on this thread

these threads always end up as mundanes vs cool people don't they

Sparklingbrook · 08/12/2015 15:39

What's a 'mundane'? Another insult? Confused

If you post in AIBU chances are you will get some opinions. Nothing new there.

Helmetbymidnight · 08/12/2015 16:05

I have been no more judgey about this than I would be judgey at any one looking forward to an all you can eat for a tenner restaurant or to hanging out at Trafalgar square on NYE. Shock

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