Y8-2023/2024

@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket I could have written your post.
Also thinking about moving DD. Not urgently but at the end of this school year perhaps. Been disappointed with many aspects of the school. And have a DS in secondary so have something to compare it to.

@MaitreKarlsson I'm so sorry to hear you and your DD are going through this too. It's just so hard to know how best to support them or what to do, move or stay.

I also have an older DS at secondary, we didn't have any of these issues with him but they're at different schools so can't say for sure if it would be different if DD had gone there. Constantly second guessing our decisions.

I hope your DD starts to settle a bit more, have her school been helpful about it all?

@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket
Being completely honest, I haven't yet involved the school. Partly because I've had various conversations with Head of Yr 7 since we joined about other issues - and am not impressed- and Dd's class teacher is all over the place.
I could speak to head of pastoral but I'm not overly keen on her either.

God I sound like a right moaner!
Since I last posted I have enquired about places at other schools for Yr 8. That has made me feel a bit more in control.

@MaitreKarlsson I how things get better for your DD at school, does she want to move? My DD is fixated with moving but I'm not convinced that's the magic answer she's looking for.

@LetMeJustCheckMyCitrusPocket

She has said previously she hates it but doesn't like the thought of moving either. Hey ho...
Things seem to be a bit better recently thanks to the end of term approaching - and nice things planned for the holidays!
How's your DD at the moment?

@SweetsAndChocolates
My son also keeps suggesting we move closer to school - actually we might have done, but DD's school is in the opposite direction!

I wish. DD completely miserable. There's a parents evening tomorrow so can bring stuff up then. It's going to be hard for me because I am going to have to be that parent but DD is too important for me not to be.

yeah we are having a bumpy start back too. 3 weeks with us on holiday has led to a resurgence of separation anxiety and lots of worries and fears about school. He is doing a lot better than he was in September, but a big setback from where we were at the end of term. DS is coping very well academically, but emotionally it is all really tough (on all of us!).

All ok academically. Active bullying has stopped but still really struggling with friendships. Trying to keep him busy with lunchtime clubs etc so he doesn't feel so lonely, but it's really hard to see him so sad.

@ISaySteadyOn your poor DD. Is it a 'full' parents' evening with meetings with subject teachers, or just her form tutor? I hope you're able to get some changes in place to help her.

We don't have a parents' evening until May - so far we've just had a 5-minute face-to-face meeting with the form tutor. It is quite daunting as a parent, having to build relationships with a whole bunch of new teachers.

I am not sure. They were very unclear.

Hiya,

Can I join? My DD started secondary last September and didn't know a single person there. She was extremely nervous, but another girl in her form saw she didn't seem to know anyone and they became friends.

She's now got a lovely friendship group, and has seen them outside of school a few times. Even been to the school disco!

She's doing well in all her subjects, had a great school report.

It seems difficult to contact individual teachers, you just don't get a reply the times I've emailed to ask questions about things. That's the only negative.

Lovely seeing everyone else's updates

Thanks for following up, @SweetsAndChocolates. I was thinking just a day or two ago that there hadn't been any recent traffic on this thread - I hope no news is good news!

Our half term is a week after yours, but it certainly feels as though this half term is flying by. The lighter mornings and evenings make DD's commute more pleasant.

DD seems to be coping well and enjoying it all at the moment. She has been trying to extricate herself from a friendship which she was finding stifling, without upsetting anyone, and she found that hard for a week or two, but seems to have turned a corner and things are settling into a new pattern. It's so difficult when they make initial friends and then realise that their real tribe is elsewhere. I'm sure DD will go through a few more stages of this in the next year or so!

Yes this term has certainly flown, DD has been fine from the get go really but this term has felt a little easier; they don't feel so 'new' any more, friendship groups are starting to form a bit where previously there was a lot of chopping and changing as they got to know each other better, the journeys are becoming familiar, they are getting used to the longer days.

Well done to your DD for sorting that friendship situation @LetItGoToRuin.

I can't quite believe we are basically half way through the year at this point. It's flown by. My DD was struggling a bit end of last term and beginning of this. All the friendships are settling down and she just found herself a bit outside things. She's not being bullied or even people being low key unkind. She just doesn't quite fit in.

I did raise it with her form tutor as she was getting pretty unhappy. School are doing some stuff to help. She also found a girl in her class who has similar issues and told her where the best place to get space at lunchtime is. She seems better for having found a quiet space in the day. I think the constant busyness was hard for her (she's autistic and quite introverted) and being able to recharge for a bit in her stupidly short lunch break is great.

Things not going so well here. DS has been targeted by another y7 - apparently she seeks him out to verbally abuse him, physically push him around & in one case she punched him in the face. He's been doing what we've told him to do in the past - walking away from her & keeping apart from her, but I think that may have made it worse.

He's not even told us until this week, after we had a call from school who'd seen her harassing him, but when challenged she told them he'd said something mean to her (he did, as a last resort because she wouldn't leave him alone).

I'm so tired of this & so sad that he's having such a rough time.

Oh no @cortisolqueen , that sounds very hard for your DS. Were the school understanding/supportive of trying to help the situation when they called?

Thanks @ElvenDreamer - they were, but i'm just waiting to see what they decide to do to try to address it.

I feel so powerless!

@cortisolqueen how absolutely rubbish for your DS! How can this girl sleep at night, knowing she is making someone's school life miserable through her own deliberate actions?

It's good that it was the school that spotted it, because hopefully that means the trust will be there in terms of what your DS says if there are any future incidents. What have the school advised?