Y8-2023/2024

Great thread!

DS is doing quite well so far. He has shocked us all as he's waiting for an ADHD/ADD assessment and visual stress testing so I was really worried about how he would cope but he has a very positive attitude and is remembering most stuff without support!

One of his best friends is actually in his form and most of his classes but he's made some new friends too. He's doing logic composing club and STEM club with his friend.

He gets maths, science and english homework every week which are all online. Maths is 6 tasks which takes about 10 minutes each so he does one task a day, and the rest varies. He's had history and geography homework too. He does some homework every day unless he's completed everything and (mostly) doesn't moan about it. He's done a revision clock for a history assessment and has been enjoying "revising". I wonder how long that will last 😂

He gets the bus and is managing well with that; he hasn't been late yet. He hasn't lost anything yet either. However, he has trashed some stationary, sharpened a pencil on both ends down to a tiny size and broken his glasses🙄he's also developed an obsession with chewing gum!

He's loving the dinner and snack choices but we did have a bit of an issue with him spending too much money! £7 in one day. The fingerprint system is great but it's so easy for them to not realise how much they've spent. Now, he cuts back during the week and then will treat himself on Friday.

Twins in different schools. EHCP twin is super happy in his specialist independent school - fought hard to get him there as he and I both knew it was the right place for him and it's working out very well thank goodness. Gets taxi to and from with 2 older kids. Only downside is that the students come from very wide geographic area so getting together outside of school is tricky to organise.

Other twin is also happy in his very large local (although not walkable as over 3 miles) mainstream school. Is very sporty and has thrown himself into after school clubs and activities. Happily gets the school bus with 3 friends from primary and seems to be thus far sticking with these primary friends but I guess that may change in time. The canteen is a highlight (he needs reigning in on the pizza consumption!) but homework is a definite lowlight. After none really at primary he's finding it hard to manage the volume - I'd say it's around 3-4 hours a week - and it all ends up piling up at the weekend and he resents doing it when he'd rather be doing his preferred sports and activities. He's bright but lazy and definitely still needs lots of encouragement/support to get it done. Not helped by his twin not having any homework at all at his school.

Overall though I've been pleased and relieved by how smoothly the transition has gone and we are all settling into the new routines quite well I think. I work from home though and I have to say I'm rather missing the primary drop off/pick up as at least it gave my day some structure and provided some interaction with adults. I now spend too much time sat at my desk on my own and need to address that!

A bit mixed for my Dd. I think her senior school is way less organised than her primary school was - just seems very backward in terms of the way they do things. She's had a couple of wobbles. I hope things improve....

I think the canteen is a huge hit for all the kids 😂

Oh, can I join you all please? I agree about canteens and fingerprint payment, we've told DD to just try what she wants for now, as it's all new and exciting, and we'll review at half term and put some rules in place. On the whole though it's going well. Single sex grammar which she's loving, not too much homework and she's mostly doing that as soon as it's set. The hardest thing is keeping track of all her stuff, there's been things left in classrooms, on the field, on the buses, amazingly it's all come back in the end but it's a steep learning curve in terms of organisation. She is fed up with buses though, it's a longish journey involving a change and it's the last part on the way home that is just thoroughly unreliable sadly.

Ds is loving it, even getting on ok with the homework, about 30 mins most evenings.

I think the discipline has been a shock and he was devastated to get his first strike today for taking the wrong book.

We've had to rein him in a little, suddenly thinking it's ok to get off the bus elsewhere and go to the shops etc. still only 11 and we still need to know his whereabouts.

Making new friends but seems to still be sticking to primary friends at break.

It's all gone much better than I thought it would have.

Thank you very very much for this. I really appreciate it, as my daughter has just started Year 7 and is finding it really hard. She's managing OK with the academic side of things, likes the after school clubs and is doing OK finding her way around, but finding friendships etc. really really hard. She's come home and started crying most days. She's not in a form with any of her primary school friends, and there are some 'queen bees' / popular girls in her class who are making life tough. I have already started to think (with dread) about the possibility of trying to move her, so I am extremely grateful to read this. And really glad your daughter is doing better.

DS is loving it. He is Autistic, very high functioning and was only diagnosed at the very end of Y6. I only went for a diagnosis as was worried about how he’d cope at High School with unexpected changes but he is flying. His older brother is in Y13 and it’s the first time they’ve ever been in the same school. All the school know him so have really taken DS2 under his wing and he seems to spend lunchtime playing football with the Y9’s! Have a huge issue with a particular local family which has resulted in some bullying but school are dealing with it really well.
Huge amount of homework but he is coping well.

Thanks so much @SweetsAndChocolates

She had a friend over after school for the first time today and she's feeling much happier. It's really an emotional rollercoaster at the moment.

She's on various group chats (on JustTalk Kids) with her primary school friends but I'm not letting her have Whatsapp, snapchat, tiktok etc. after seeing some of the stuff that was shared in Year 6

I think you're right to be wary about social media, but glad that your son is enjoying himself.

My ds11 has been loving his new school. He's gone from quite a sad angry boy to a really happy lad and it's so nice to see!
They even took him fishing last day of term!

However it is a specialist school, so this has made a world of difference going from mainstream to a school that can actually meet his needs.

@BloodAndFire I understand your angst about social media but you might find that the lack of it is really not helping her navigate new friendships and stay in the loop and be included in what going on.
It's how they all chat / gossip & arrange their social lives. All the Yr7 at our local schools use these all the time. Vast majority had WAp in Yr6 and learnt to navigate it and take responsibility for own stuff.
No access to these at our high would literally exclude a girl from a social life

My daughter is on Justtalk kids, as are all of her primary and many of her secondary classmates.

They all chat on justtalk. The vast majority of parents I know don't let their kids onto apps which are full of predatory adults and which have no safeguards. The kids i know who are on tiktok and Instagram aren't using it to interact with their school mates.

She also emails, texts, and phones her friends.

That really isn't the issue and she's doing fine. She's made plenty of friends now.

Plus which after a day at school she likes to chill out and do creative or peaceful things. Write, draw, play music, make animations. The last thing she wants or needs is more 'gossip'. She is sick to death of it by 4pm every day and enjoys her downtime.

@BloodAndFire just offering my experience as you'd said your DD was really struggling with friendships.
I've not even heard of the ap you mention and none of the Yr7/8 I know use it. We are in a city and WAp / Snapchat and the rest is the norm with all the kids

We live in London and all the kids here are on Justtalk - it was recommended by another school mum. 90% of her primary school class are on it and that's where they all chat. It has a lot of safeguarding features, but all the functionality of WhatsApp.

A few of them are also on Snapchat, discord, tiktok etc but there's no way that 10/11/12 year olds should be on those apps. The stuff I've seen is totally inappropriate in multiple ways.

I also think it's really important for kids to have time away from gossip, social pressure and phones. My daughter has a 3 hr daily limit and a bedtime of 9pm on her phone, after which she can only use apps for reading books, no Internet, chat etc.

She is much happier and more settled now, she'll never be the centre of the popular group but that's not who she is. She has made friends with like-minded people and she's happy with that . She's a quirky, clever, quiet, happy girl generally. She'll find her path.

Lots of kids find the transition to secondary difficult, I don't think very adult online networks are the answer.

@Mrs1010 thanks for your wise words, needed to hear that particularly today.

I’ve never heard of Justtalk either? DS has WhatsApp, it’s just a messaging platform like sending a text message. There is nothing predatory on there? Unless you have someone’s mobile number you wouldn’t be able to contact them anyway.
DS doesn’t have Snapchat as I don’t like the way the messages disappear but does have TT. I get sent endless amounts of cute dog videos! He is also very mature for his age though, has a 17 year old brother so has all his friends on there too!
He is loving High School, has made a huge group of new friends. In the school football team and has grown up even more almost overnight.

DS is doing ok. A bit of a wobble over homework which has really ramped up this week and he is struggling a little with the pace of classes. He’s done well in his assessments though.

I’ve never heard of JustTalk either. DS has whatssapp but I check it regularly and he only talks to his 4 close friends and his cousins. He has TT on restricted mode through family pairing but he doesn’t really use it much. I don’t like snapchat either because I like to check messages but I know he will end up having it at some point. It’s not very popular with his group of friends yet but I know other groups of kids were using it in year 5 and 6 because school had problems with bullying through it.

Ditto about growing up overnight! I’ve always heard people say it but I didn’t expect it to happen that fast. He’s so different to a few months ago.

JustTalk sounds interesting. My DC has WhatsApp but we have an agreement over not joining big group chats. I allowed the class chat group, but not the Y7 one somebody set up. The class one is basically just questions about homework and whether the teacher took their books in. There will be no TikTok or Snapchat happening.

First half term has gone ok. Seems to be making some friends in class and mostly enjoying things. The first half term was exhausting though, we did very little in the week off as a result. Homework is ramping up a bit and getting more complicated than it was initially. She'd still quite like to go back to primary school!

I'd not heard of JustTalk either, but will have a look at it, as we've not let our DD have WhatsApp yet. I'm aware that there are WhatsApp groups that she's missing out on, but she's definitely not bothered yet - she uses ordinary text messages or Google Chat with some of the girls in her class, and she still seems to be contacted for homework questions, bus issues etc so she is managing.

I think we'll consider letting her have WhatsApp at the point where she seems to need it for group projects, or if she complains she's missing out, but we're waiting until it's absolutely necessary.

3h time limit, phone locks at 8.45pm here, and she's fine with that at the moment.

DD's main worry about starting secondary was friendships, and it's been an interesting half term, but I'm pleased with how she's handled things. She had two wonderful friends in primary and was keen to have a 'best' friend in secondary, and she quickly made one, but then that girl befriended another and DD was left a bit alone. After a day or two of sadness, she picked herself up and started being proactive with getting to know others in the form. As a result, she's much happier as she now has lots of people she can hang out with. Interestingly, the original best friend has been wanting to hang out with DD again, but DD has worked out for herself that this friend is not so perfect as she originally thought.

That sounds like good friendship issues navigation @LetItGoToRuin, well done to her. Mine had some issues with a primary school friend who is a bit hot and cold. She’s concluded it isn’t worth the hassle. Luckily they didn’t end up in the same form so actually they don’t see each other very often. She finds friendships hard but she seems to be getting on with people in her class. They barely have long enough to do anything but eat lunch at lunchtime so there’s actually very little time to hang out with each other.