Been crying half the night...DD not passed 11+

[CheeryCherry]

and she has only been offered a place at our local dreadful comp. It has high truancy, low exam results, has a stand in Head cos noone has taken on the job.
Feel sick that we haven't planned for other options, there are 2 fee paying schools (which we cannot afford but would have gone into debt for) we could have considered, but their entrance exams were 2 weeks ago.
Have missed the boat, and feeling like the worlds worst parent...
Sorry, just wanted to offload really.

I hope she doesn't know you have been crying all night.

Did you put other choices on the application form?

I can see why you're upset, but please don't let your daughter know you've been crying.

Can you not ring the fee paying school up and request a late entry. Its surely worth a try, and to be honest if they are happy to take your money they might be amenable?

Well, the school can only get better.

At least the school isn't stuck with a dreadfull head; hopefully a new one will be found soon who can turn the school around.

Will your DD be going with friends? I think a happy child is more important than the schools exam results...she won't do very well if she's miserable. Do you think she can be happy there?

why do you feel like the worst parent??

God, no she doesn't know how I feel, have need blagging it with all the 'advantages'...closer to home, she knows a few there etc. But her closest friends have got into grammar,or are already there. There wasn't much in the way of choices on the application form. She herself is a bit disappointed but not devastated by any means, but I am.

Feel the worst parent as we hadn't thought to consider the other options, ie fee paying schools...{cos we can't afford it} but also wondering if I should have gone through more practice papers etc. She is a very capable girl and I realise its probably not meant to be...but I don't like it.

so you've based her future on this school

did you not think ahead beyond 11+ and have a plan b,or was it always just a given that she would pass and get in??

Can you apeal?

If your dd is bright and applies herself she will do well wherever she is schooled.

Fee paying schools by no means mean better teaching or better pupil behaviour IMHO

I guess I hoped she would get in, and felt that the local option was 'ok', but recently there have been too many friends/colleagues telling horror stories of their DCs being bullied, hurt, having lessons disrupted, etc that I am just gutted that she will have to be in with it all. I know we will have to give it a go but still don't like it all. Not really an option to appeal, she wasn't ranked high enough, so thats that.
Cyb I will just have to hope you are right.

she will be fine and she will know that you are upset about this. How many marks was she from passing? As Lynette says there is always the appeal process.

How much did she miss the 11+ by? Do you know where she is on the waiting list?

I thought allocations day wasn't till March? Were there any other comps you put on the selection form? If so could you appeal for a place at one of those or appeal for a place at the Grammar School? For advice on appealing www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/11plus/viewforum.php?f=35

She will be fine. She will probably end up in the top sets in secondary which will be great for her self-esteem.

Two things.

Is there a 12+ option in your area?

And NEVER believe horror stories about schools. If you thought it was OK when you looked round it still is.

Amen to that Seeker. There are probably a few horror stories knocking about regarding the grammar school as well but you just haven't heard them.

Totally agree ith seeker 'And NEVER believe horror stories about schools.'

friend has said she won't send her sons to local comp becasue of horror stories-drugs etc
dd is in last yr there and alll the horror stories are either untrue or exaggerated
if your dd is motivated and has family support she will do well there

agree with cornsilk, this could be great for her. As for horror stories, I think you could probably find some for every school in the country. I could certainly tell you some about the expensive school I went to.

Thanks for that link Magenta, interesting stuff, and Cornsilk and LeQueen - thankyou, yes I agree it probably wasn't meant to be, and yes it will be lovely for her to fly high (hopefully). Hadn't thought about extra tutoring if needs be in years to come, that is a v helpful suggestion.
Feel a tad better - thankyou all.
Parenting is crap sometimes isn't it?!?

It is a really shitty system this 11+ thing.