Been crying half the night...DD not passed 11+

[CheeryCherry]

and she has only been offered a place at our local dreadful comp. It has high truancy, low exam results, has a stand in Head cos noone has taken on the job.
Feel sick that we haven't planned for other options, there are 2 fee paying schools (which we cannot afford but would have gone into debt for) we could have considered, but their entrance exams were 2 weeks ago.
Have missed the boat, and feeling like the worlds worst parent...
Sorry, just wanted to offload really.

[piscesmoon]

I would entirely agree-a school is only as good as the Headteacher.Schools get a reputation and they are stuck with it-regardless of what they do! A school can be entirely different within a single year-you always need to visit and make up your own mind.

[hester]

Another one here who failed 11+ and went on to get a good degree at a good university.

I'm REALLY sympathetic to how you're feeling right now, but chin up: give the local school a try - you might be pleasantly surprised. And if your dd doesn't thrive, you can look at other options (moving her into private later, moving house, whatever - you'll find a way).

[hands over glass of wine and gives perking-up pat on the shoulder]

[cocolepew]

DD did the 11+ (it's widely used in NI) and got an A. This meant immediate entrance into Grammar school, but I chose to send her to our local High School which has a terrible reputation. She absolutely loves it, it's an excellent school.

[HarlotOTara]

My DD was at a comp. which was on special measures and she came out with 11 a and a* GCSEs and then went on to get 3 As at A level (at 6th form college). Her group of friends got the same or similar. The school had a dreadful reputation by the time she did her GCSEs and the behaviour of a group of students was dreadful. Science teaching was pretty dire and we did find a private tutor for this. However what I realised is that if you are an involved parent who takes an interest in their education etc. where they go to school is only part of the picture.

Whether kids leave school well educated is however a different discussion.

OP, I hope your DD feels ok.

[PavlovtheCat]

One of my close friend's chose for her bright son not to take the 11+, and he went to the local not great comp. He is in his final year, has absolutely stormed through his exams so far, and is currently planning what A'levels with his sights set on Cambridge/Oxford (can't remember which, he wants to read physics/maths or somesuch}.

[starmucks]

DH went to a shocking comp. Still did well enough to go on to read economics at university. And get 2.I. His parents were massively influential though, through encouragement and keeping him focused.

[PavlovtheCat]

oh and don't be fooled by 100% rates at grammar schools. I went to a grammar school and did badly for many reasons. It was a horrible school with a bad attitude towards teaching.

I got 3 'D' grades in my mock exams (as well as 'B' for several too) and they refused to allow me to sit my exams as a result. I recall very clearly the honesty of the head teacher to my mum 'we cannot allow your DD to sit the exams as we have a repuation to uphold. We are currently 3rd in the league tables and we are aiming to be 1st this year'.

They removed 4 students with low grades/some low grades and they got 100% score and were 1st in the league tables. It was false.

(i went on to get 3 A'levels and a Bsc in Politics)

[oldenglishspangles]

DS failed the 11+ went to very average local comp. And is now professionally qualified. 11+ is just a sifting device, and not very successful at that for some bright children. If the social side is ok at the comp a tutor is the def best way to go if the teaching standards are not up to scratch and there is not other school alternative.

[Remotew]

Coolma, it was only through mumsnet that I realised that a lot of grammar schools survived in other areas. We went totally comp many years ago. Think our area was the first.

[princessparty]

It is very discouraging for a borderline child to go to grammar and then be near the bottom in every subject.Much better to be flying along at a 'mediocre' school.

[NotSoCheeryCherry]

Sooo interesting to read all your experiences, and today I am feeling bit more positive about it all. As I mentioned, I am all +ve with my DD and my other DCs, and she still seems okay about it all. And I do hope that she will do well, whichever school she goes to, she is hard working and takes pride in her work. I will however look at alternatives, such as possibly joining grammar schools late, or the private grammar - just so we have a fall back. You are right, the school is likely to be changing a great deal when they appoint a new Head. Will just keep fingers crossed. Thanks all!

[Milliways]

Glad you are feeling better. My DD "failed" the 11+ and is at Cambridge now having been at local comp. Admittedly, it IS a v.good local comp, but they have a 10 form intake, it is HUGE, but if you are prepeared to work the teachers encourage you all the way.

[Strawbezza]

It's not the end of the world NotSoCC. I'm sure your DD will thrive and do well there.

My DS1 failed the 11+ and went to the local boys' state comp (11-16, also with a stand-in Head at the time). The school had poor results, the GCSE A*-C rate dipped to 29% in one year and the school was almost put into special measures. But DS1 was in the top groups for everything, deputy head boy, cricket captain and came out with a boatload of very good GCSE's. He's now in the sixth form at the grammar school - his GCSE's were more than good enough to earn him a place there.

I didn't even bother entering DS2 for the 11+. He's at the same 11-16 state comp that DS1 attended and doing really well.

[ampere]

Can I make a small, pedantic point? How can there be 'comps' in grammar school areas?

Even the OFSTED of a secondary school near(ish) here pointed out in the report that the quite reasonable school was doing itself a disservice by trying to call itself a comp when its top-academic-tier was creamed off by the nearby grammar- he stated that it is therefore a secondary modern.

No one is saying 'I failed my 11+ thus went to the local, crap secondary modern'...

[MollieO]

ampere where we live we are in catchment for local grammars and comps but not for secondary schools. We are out of county for grammars but within catchment. Not sure why we aren't in catchment for the local secondaries. Our own county is comp rather than selective. Ds, along with most of his school friends, will be doing the 11+ assuming he is bright enough.

[hatwoman]

ampere - in some cases (I'm thinking of tiffin in kingston) the grammar has no catchment area - so they don't cream off the top tier in the vicinity - they get the cream from a ludicrously wide area. I believe the proprtion of kids at tiffin who actually live in kingston is v.small - so the other schools - the "comps" - in kingston are much closer to comps than you'd think. iyswim.

[RustyBear]

Our borough doesn't have grammar schools of its own, but there are two (one boys, one girls) in a neighbouring borough. They only take a very tiny number of children from our borough, so the schools here are virtually comprehensive. My DS went to the boys' grammar, but DD didn't pass the exam for the girls'.

Like Milliways daughter she went to a local comp(very like Milliways DD, actually, as it was the same grammar school, though not the same comp) and did a lot better in her GCSE's than many of those who had gone to the grammar, which would seem to indicate either that the exam isn't very good at finding girls with potential, or that the comp had better teachers....

[MrsBartlet]

Same here ampere. Dd goes to a grammar in our town but it has no catchment area and most girls come from elsewhere, thus the comps are very nearly comprehensive!

[ampere]

Ah, I see!

I'm thinking of Salisbury. Not sure if they actually have a catchment or not anymore- probably the euphemistic 'reasonable travelling distance' which might mean 100 miles each way knowing some parents! The schools used to and it was 25 miles across yet still had an 'effect' on the non-grammar secondaries!

[ampere]

And of course, the Girls GS is full of prepped DDs who wouldn't have gone to the SMs had they failed the 11+ anyway!

[MillyR]

Cheerycherry, what LEA is your Grammar school in? Are you absolutely sure she hasn't got in?

In our LEA lots of the borderline children did get in, even though they ranked below 310, because quite a few in the 310 took up private school scholarships or got offered another grammar place in their own LEA. So many people who think they haven't got a place in January do get one in March.

[Strawbezza]

Strictly speaking ampere is right - but I know for my DS's school, there were only 2 boys in the catchment who passed the 11+. The grammars' intakes are HUGE, they really only take the cream of the cream.

Window-dressing, but schools aren't called 'comprehensive' or 'secondary modern' in their names nowadays, it seems they're all 'college' or 'academy' or something. Apart from the grammars of course.

[ZooeyGlass]

I guarantee that your daughter can do well in whatever school she goes to, so long as she works hard. Get her to read books, be fascinated by life and she'll be fine.

[Pluto]

I don't understand how know now that your DD has not got into the grammar school. National allocation day for secondaries is 1st March. I didn't think anyone knew until then

[itsmeolord]

Pluto - you get the results for the 11+ i January. You can work out whether you are in with a shout or not from them.
You are ranked according to your scores. So if the intake is 310 and your child is ranked 297 they have definitely got in, if they are ranked 370 for example, they go on to the waiting list and still can get in if other people don't take up their offers.