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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

pfb -in fact only child - off to secondary on Thursday...

788 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 02/09/2008 08:07

am being calm but every so often panic strikes me - ds is fine about it, it's just me fretting about roads to cross/ money for the canteen - will it get lost/stolen, what about the lockers, arghhh ! Plus,as with the beginning of every term,I'll miss him - I love having him here in the holidays !
It also means that I have no excuses not to sit at my desk and work on the job I'm meant to finish by the end of Seot...

OP posts:
robinpud · 20/10/2008 22:24

Yes Bella it is. She is getting lots of unwanted attention from boys; but all she wants s a best friend, or a group of absolutely like minded friends. We have talked about what is realistic, but I wish I could magic her a couple of good friends. She feels everyone else h this comfort blanket of "old" friends and she doesn't.

bellavita · 20/10/2008 22:34

Bless her. I am sure she will find her way - are there any clubs she is interested in joining?

roisin · 20/10/2008 22:37

At my school we did some surveys. By the end of yr7 over half of students say that their closest schoolfriend is not someone from their old primary.

ds1 (different school) is in a form group with the 3 other boys from his primary and all lessons are taught in that form group. But after Christmas all the classes are mixed up and set for core subjects, so then he will be forced to branch out and make new friends.

bellavita · 20/10/2008 22:45

DS1 is in a form with 3 of the boys from his old school, but the lessons are not taught in this group.

For a couple of his lessons there is only him out of the four of them - this is where he has made new friends.

robinpud · 20/10/2008 23:32

She has joined a couple of clubs already. The groupings sound very mixed; for some things she is streamed; for others she is taught in her tutor group and for a third set she is taught in a different group. I think that's one of the main problems; e isn't with the same group of children enough. A lot depends on which lesson is immediately before lunch and so who you are with when walking into the Dining Hall which is quite an intimidating place for a teeny tiny Year 7 like her.
I like the sound of that questionnaire rosin. There's also no element of pastoral care visible really; I would be loathe to talk to the school about anything of this ilk unless it became a massive issue which thankfully it isn't... yet. I think it is something she will overcome , but I hate to see her upset. However a good night's sleep always put things in a better light in the morning. Thanks.

roisin · 21/10/2008 08:09

I think you're probably right robinpud. At the secondary where I work each subject arranges its own classes, so within a single week children are in all sorts of different groupings/sets across the whole half year-group of 100 children, which is a lot to get to know.

It works well in the long-run, but it does make settling in a harder/longer process.

Have you had a settling in meeting yet? I'm concerned that you say there is no element of pastoral care visible. Maybe it's time to have a quick chat to someone at school? If you wait til it's a "massive issue" it could be too late.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 21/10/2008 09:40

hi robinpud ! am sure your dd will slot herself in and find friends...from my friend's dd's experience (was in ds' class at primary) she still feels she wants to be with her familiar primary school friends..friendships do seem to be particularly important for girls I think, though ds is realising this now he is in yr 7 and is wanting to be more sociable he just isn't very outgoing, so it'll require some effort on his part. Stick around on this thread as it's been hugely helpful and supportive to me in my yr 7 qualms

bellavita · 21/10/2008 14:50

So when do we all finish for half term?

DS1 finishes on Thursday (much to DS2's disgust who finishes on Friday)

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 21/10/2008 15:12

Friday for us !

bellavita · 21/10/2008 15:33

Do you have anything planned for next week?

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 21/10/2008 16:21

pottering about/visiting ILs I think..how about you ?

bellavita · 21/10/2008 16:30

pottering also, both boys have expressed an interest in a couple of films at the cinema and no doubt they will want to go swimming, will probably pop over to Leeds to see my mum and dad.

bellavita · 21/10/2008 16:31

oh forgot to say - the coat found its way back home phew!

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 21/10/2008 16:57

oh that's a relief ! Can't believe we've almost got to half term - this thread has been great - shall we carry on ?

bellavita · 21/10/2008 17:01

I would like to carry on if everyone else does

roisin · 21/10/2008 20:07

I think it would be great to carry on - sharing our pfb-parental angst together

ds1 finishes on Friday. At my school we have INSET on Friday, so no children.

Half term mainly chilling, with a few days in Manchester at the Science Festival. ds1 is supposed to go in to school for one day as the boys choir is doing a recording session.

robinpud · 21/10/2008 20:24

Thanks for all the reassurance- I have lurked on the thread previously! In fact we have just had our settling in parents' meeting tonight. That was a bit surreal- 9 tutors in the hall surrounded by waiting parents.. not the time to raise anything personal with such a captive audience!
I am perhaps a little harsh about the pastoral care; dd is very adept at presenting herself to all and sundry as the happiest smiliest* most upbeat person. so, that's what thy all think she is. I have of course pointed out that all the kids think this too and probably think she has plenty of friends.
anyway we have a sleepover arranged, a party to go to and a friend coming home one night after school, so tonight is quite upbeat.

bellavita · 22/10/2008 07:29

Lots going on then for missrobinpud!

Sounds like she is going to be busy.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 22/10/2008 09:19

gosh,everyone sounds busy actually !

bellavita · 23/10/2008 18:21

DS has come home from school tonight not very well, so much so that he has cried because his head is hurting.

DH said that DS got up just after him this morning to look for his blue inhaler as he felt out of breath and he took it to school with him.

Beginnings of a cold I think but with a migrainish headache thrown in.

He is just laid on the settee whimpering at the moment and has turned down the curry/rice and naan bread which is not like him as it is his fave dinner.

roisin · 23/10/2008 18:41

Aw bless him bellavita.
Has he finished now for half term?

ds1 was up really early today as he was nervous about his concert tonight at the Prize Giving at school. I thought he would be shattered after school (I was), but he was bouncing and full of energy!

bellavita · 23/10/2008 19:01

Yes, roisin, he has finished

Hope the concert goes well.

I am shattered too after being at work, but am making some cakes tonight (traybakes that keep well) for a coffee morning on Saturday that DH is involved in. I would make them tomorrow but I should be going out for lunch with some mummy friends, although if DS1 is poorly like he is tonight I will stay at home.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 23/10/2008 21:18

poor ds bellavita - hope he feels better v soon
and hope concert goes well roisin

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 24/10/2008 21:26

Happy Half Term everyone !

bellavita · 25/10/2008 00:16

and to you too