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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

pfb -in fact only child - off to secondary on Thursday...

788 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 02/09/2008 08:07

am being calm but every so often panic strikes me - ds is fine about it, it's just me fretting about roads to cross/ money for the canteen - will it get lost/stolen, what about the lockers, arghhh ! Plus,as with the beginning of every term,I'll miss him - I love having him here in the holidays !
It also means that I have no excuses not to sit at my desk and work on the job I'm meant to finish by the end of Seot...

OP posts:
bellavita · 09/10/2008 18:34

Well, DS came home and I said to him if he had not of hidden behind the post box and just come up to the car window, I probably would not have taken any notice of what was in his hand.

So, then I ask him what he has had for lunch, chicken tikka sandwich he says, then he fesses up that actually no he did not have a sandwich as there was nothing he liked - hot or cold and just had a bottle of water and then spent the rest on a can of 7up when he got off the bus at home time.

This means that all he has had to eat today is a measly bit of toast this morning.

DH (and me) not happy. DH not seen him this evening as DS gone back to school to help with the Yr6 open evening. He will be "having words" with him when he goes to pick him up.

The words packed lunch spring to mind.

magentadreamer · 10/10/2008 07:09

DD has a shed load of homework. And has managed to lose the work book for geog - why she didn't 'fess up to this in class I don't know she said she'd do it on a bit of paper after looking at the questions in her friends book. I've suggested she goes and finds her teacher at breaktime/lunchtime and be brave -she's a little scaredy cat when it comes to dealing with Teachers. Her Dad did suggest writing a note saying she'd lost it but I think she should go and tell the teacher herself. I do feel a bit mean but she's got to learn to look after stuff and put homework in her file I bought to stop her losing it!

bellavita · 10/10/2008 09:25

DS came home yesterday and announced they do spot checks on planners and his has gone in to be checked, not sure what they are looking for......... being untidy, scruffy, messy, not putting things in it?

He recounted all the periods (and block/class numbers) he had today from memory, although I am not sure if he has a copy of the timetable anywhere as it has just recently changed again.

Because of helping out at school last night, he did not get to bed until 9.45pm so he was not a happy bunny this morning.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 13:33

ds doesn't seem to get much homework at all - I don't think he's forgetting to do it,though he sometimes doesn't write it down in his planner - he is quite conscientious though so wouldn't just not do it.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 13:34

his books look v scruffy as they get jammed into his rucksack willynilly and planner is a little tatty now, so hope they don't do any spot checks !

bellavita · 10/10/2008 13:42

DS's books are looking scruffy too - even though I bought him some wallets to put his stuff into before he slings it all into his rucksack.

He is also still getting quite a bit of homework.

OrmIrian · 10/10/2008 15:49

DS back from camp with half the soil of the woods in his clothes and boots

Asked him if he knew about the Ofsted. 'Oh yeah' vague-not-really-listening tone' they told us last Tuesday'...

bellavita · 10/10/2008 15:52

I take it bringing back half the soil from the woods means he had a good time?

OrmIrian · 10/10/2008 15:54

Yes it does Very good time.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 16:22

That's good Orm ! I've bought plastic wallets for bits of paper/loose work but he doesn't put the stuff in them - have just retrieved crumpled thing for homework from bottom of his bag
Can I ask advice here ?
ds is very quiet at school,being quite shy and generally a boy who enjoys his own company - he is quite self contained being an only anyway and has always been happy in his own company - he has a few friends,one in his tutor group and one in year 8 - but he has never been the centre of a crowd,you know how some children just have lots of friends.
It's never bothered him before but today he came home a bit sad and asked whether he could be happy if he didn't have friends and that he was a bit fed up with being on his own at break time - part of me was pleased that he is wanting to make new friends but also sad that he was feeling lonely - don't think he has been excluded from things but just doesn't know how to go about making new friends - had a bit of a talk and he seemed much happier - I explained that you need to make a bit of an effort and to join in/talk to people. He's a sweet and kind boy and very gentle and not one to push himself forwards.
Any ideas ?

OrmIrian · 10/10/2008 16:27

Can you perhaps talk to his tutor? DS's seems very approachable and is happy to try to help with any issues with the Yr7s. Not sure what she could do though.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 16:34

mm, will do at yr 7 consultations, but I think it's something he needs to be proactive about - have suggested things he could do,so will encourage that and of course there is the bonding w/end coming up....

OrmIrian · 10/10/2008 16:36

It's a tough one. I was useless at making friends when I was a child. My DC have no problems at all. I am in awe of them - I still have problems now.

roisin · 10/10/2008 17:16

OrmIrian - great news about the residential: glad he enjoyed it.

MAS - I would suggest doing a bit of low key role play with him at home. For instance:
On Monday the lesson before break you have RE. Who is in your RE lesson who might be a good friend? OK what could you say to them whilst you're going into/coming out of the lesson?

If he doesn't have these skills very much yet then mastering a few useful phrases will be a good start.

Tbh my ds1 seems to spend a lot of break/lunchtime on his own, or in the library, or going to some clubs. He doesn't seem bothered, and nor am I. Many of his mates are very sporty so are continually dashing off doing sporty stuff.

bellavita · 10/10/2008 18:00

Awww MAS

Roisins role playing idea sounds good.

What happened with the Yr6's that moved up with him? Can he not hang round with them a bit?

magentadreamer · 10/10/2008 18:07

When is his bonding trip MAS? You might find being thrown into new situations will help him make friends. I remember a trip I went on at High School had a fantastic time and made loads of new friends, girls that normally I'd not come across during the school day. And I never was Miss Outgoing at Secondary school either.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 18:25

thanks everyone - that's helpful and roisin's role playing sounds good - he's never worried about this before but he seems quite happy after our little chat - I think it'smore a case of being like everyone else,other children are in groups of friends etc..this week they were handing out bibles (after an assembly where Christians came to talk to them...ds didn't take one and then got worried that he hadn't, esp as his friend in his tutor group ( from his old school) who is a Christian asked him if he was giving his life to Jesus. I was brought up as a Catholic and dh is an atheist- I am interested in Buddhism ( my mum is a Buddhist now) and ds had a Buddhist blessing by monks ( the head monk of this particular strain of Buddhism in the UK in fact did the blessing - was really lovely) - anyway, ds can chose what he wants as he grows up - the point of all this story is that there seem to be groups etc that ds feels he should fit into possibly - which might account for his anxiety. Am sure the bonding weekend next week will help and will encourage him to seek out the children he knows from last school.

OrmIrian · 10/10/2008 19:38

Fingers crossed for him. It's funny how, when it comes down to it, it's the fear of them being lonely or unhappy that really freaks us out isn't it. More than anything else.

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 21:28

thanks Orm...it makes my heart heavy to think of him being lonely but we'll see what we can do

WendyWeber · 10/10/2008 21:38

MAS, just read about DS, poor lamb

Does his school have lunchtime/after school activities? Chess club, drama club, computers, maths, cookery, poetry? There must be something he would like to do, where they are in a group anyway & he'd be with like-minded people?

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 10/10/2008 21:40

thank you Wendy...he does go to a lunchtime reading club but he says they don't talk much because they're reading !! Will check out some others for after half term.

bellavita · 11/10/2008 00:28

Orm - you have just summed up what I was going to say!

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 13/10/2008 15:49

yay, lovely apple and plum crumble arrived home intact and looking lovely - just warming it up for evaluation now

bellavita · 13/10/2008 15:51

Have to wait till Wednesday for Ds's pasta bake.

Let us know MAS what it tastes like

Ermm - cream/custard or icecream?

MorticiaAnnSpookington · 13/10/2008 15:55

no custard,ice cream or cream in the house alas !!