Positive experiences with all girls schools?

[Toomanydailydecisions]

Anyone have any? I would prefer co-ed but there's a couple of all girls schools i am going to add to my list for my daughter as I was very impressed during the open days and logistically travel is better too, but so many people I am discussing schools with seem so negative about it because it doesn't represent the real world.

Any pros/cons I need to think about?

My view is come A-levels many go co-ed anyhow (Camden, St Marylebone) so it's really only for GCSE years.

I loved mine (admittedly some time ago). It gave me confidence, an excellent academic background and friends whom I still see decades later.

My DD absolutely loves hers.

I was at a co ed and the bitchiness was off the charts. Seemed like girls had the additional pressure of competing for the attention of the boys (this was 35+ years ago, I’d hope the girls are more enlightened by now!!)

my mum has a bizarrely rosy view of co ed (she never knew how badly bullied I was by girls and boys alike at my school) and an incredibly negative view of girls schools so I’m defensive! I don’t disagree yes the real world is co ed! And yes there are times when I wish my 14 yo DD was able to look at boys as human beings rather than as loud, revolting annoyances. I had so many male friends in the final years of my school and think the off setting of girls’ instinctive internal pressure is great.

but I’m a massive convert to single sex ed. DD will one day (hopefully soon) realise that boys are fine. Nice, even! And I’ve got lucky as she genuinely has experienced no bitchiness, we have made it past the worst year groups for it so I’m hopeful it won’t emerge now!!

Same.

Hated it (sorry).

I don't think it made an academic difference (we were co-ed at sixth form so I can speak to both types).

Think it depends on your personality type. I found it absolutely destroyed my self confidence. In hindsight I think I struggle to understand / accept the manipulative and / or subtle behaviour you get from women. I much prefer being direct and struggled socially as a consequence.

I actively chose to avoid single sex schools for my DC as a consequence of my own experience.

I also found that they were rife with other kind of toxic behaviour - eating disorder tips were shared etc.

DD’s absolutely loved theirs. The teachers were amazing in championing strong independent girls

That's so useful thanks. Yes everyone mentions "bitchyness" but this can be an issue at co-ed schools too... And as we have many friends with sons, she'll still meet plenty socially.

It was really positive for both mine. Though Dd2 went to the boys school for 6th form and said the boys were better behaved!

They have both said (coming out the other side) that they preferred it being all girls. Dd1 in particular is quieter and would have been drowned out by loud boys. I think a mixed 6th is good.

My stepdaughter is absolutely thriving at an all girls secondary. Its a state school. Shes quite mature and quite young all at once. It just entirely removes boys and who has had their first kiss and all those external distractions.

It really has been ideal for her as shes quite distractible.

DD went to co-ed for GCSE then chose to go all girls for A level. She loved it and found it liberating. She was also hugely grateful to have no male distractions, interruptions, general taking over by some guys being loud in class and dominating etc. etc. whilst in her most important academic years before Uni. it was a real positive all round for her.

Yes, my DD is in year 9 at a girls school and loves it.
she doesn’t seem to have experienced any of the ‘inability to control herself/socialise normally around boys’ nor bitchines that has been predicted.
she has an absolutely lovely friendship group who are silly and funny and supportive. I’m not saying that it’s a feminine utopia, there’s upsets along the way, but it’s always stemmed from a misunderstanding or falling out about something that is then worked through, rather than ‘bitchiness’ for the sake of it. I don’t see it’d be any different in co-ed.

she is actively involved in a scout group and has joined CCF this year (both co-ed) so has managed to keep up normal social relationships with boys as well.

Both my daughters loved theirs.

At university, they were often asked if they went to an all girls school. Their professors claimed they knew because girls from all girls schools tended to speak up a lot more in class. No idea if that is statistically true!

They also liked the casualness of their appearance, as in they didn’t feel the need to get dolled up to impress the boys.

There was still catty and bitchy behaviour though. No idea if that would have been better or worse at a coed.

I've taught at an all-girls school for 20+ years. I attended coed schools myself and liked them. That I ended up teaching at an all-girls school is an odd twist of fate, but it's a good job and a good school. From this perspective, I would say two things.

1. Coed schools and single-sex schools can both be good schools. Other things, such as the quality of the teaching staff and the students' attitude towards learning, matter more than coed vs. single-sex.

2. The age at which girls benefit the most from single-sex education is about 10-15. The maturity gap between boys and girls is wide in early adolescence. And when girls first start getting interested in boys, they are sometimes unduly afflicted by impulses to suppress their own opinions, compete with other girls for male attention, or cheer on bad behavior by the boys they like. By 16, both boys and girls are growing up, and these problems tend to diminish. From that point of view, your idea of going single-sex for the GCSE years and coed for sixth form makes a lot of sense.

i went to an all girls school and sent my daughters to all-girls. it is great to grow up without pressure from boys. Both pressure to have a boyfriend / have sex (look at Everyone's Invited to see the awful things that can happen) and pressure to be 'girly' and pressure to conform to stereotypes

my girls are both geeky kids who do computing and science, and that is much easier in an all-girls environment.

It’s been brilliant for my two.

My eldest is a STEM girl and does physics at A-level. She knows it’s a “male heavy” subject but when she looked at coed sixth forms there were literally two or three girls in a class of 18. Having being in an all girls school from 11 to 16 it just felt like too big a jump. The Institute of Physics shared the stat that a girl is two thirds more likely to take physics at an all girls school than coed.

My youngest used to be quiet as a mouse at primary and every parents evening we’d hear the same comment that they really wish she would put her hand up and participate more. Within a term at her all girls school she is actively participating and confident to put herself out there. She told us she was always scared the boys would laugh at her if she got it wrong at her old school.

It’s also made the whole adolescence and puberty thing a lot easier. The girls openly talk about periods and it’s all just normalised - exactly as it should be!

Mean girl behaviour happens everywhere and is just as common in coed as all girls. Added benefit of all girls is that there’s double the number of girls to find your people from too vs coed where half are the opposite gender. I know boys and girls can be friends too but it’s natural to have a group of friends of the same gender.

I went to an all girls school - loved it! No distractions and not too much bitchiness at all. DS is 11 and has just started in a co -ed. There are no boys' day schools left where we are (close to Oxford) and boys do better in co-eds. However, if I had a girl she would be in an all girls school.

DDs (4) all went to state girls school (co-ed in sixth form). They are hugely different characters and it suited them all well in different ways. What I loved about it was that they each found a tribe of their own and were encouraged to thrive in all academic creative and sporting areas. Anecdotally, friends whose DDs went to co-ed through schools faced much more of the bitchyness, eating disorders, fashion (esp make-up) trends and cliques that I had been warned would be a problem in a girls school.

They did all spend quite a lot of time with boys outside of school (music and sports as well as friends) so we never worried about them not being used to being around boys, and this may have influenced us though.

I went to an all girls school and plenty of my peers were sexually active at very young ages.

DDs go to a mixed school and don't seem remotely under pressure to have sex.

I think people attribute far too much to this one factor and things like the quality of teaching, catchment, facilities and commute are going to be a bigger day to day difference.

It is entirely irrelevant for us as we live rurally with zero choice of state secondary schools. There must be a lot of the country in the same boat.

I was fine at an all girls' school, although eating disorders were normalised. DDs are fine at coed.

My DD went to all girls for secondary. It was her choice as we also looked at co-ed. They did do some joint social activities with the partner boys school so not completely isolated. Sixth year was co-ed as they combined with partner boys school, so that prepared them for life after school, like uni or workplace.
Yes girls can be bitchy and she did have one bad experience which the shool dealt with. She also had a bad experience at primary school which was co-ed and the school were very poor in dealing with it.

I loved mine as did all my friends (still close friends 30 years later). My nieces go to all girl grammars and love it. My own dd could’ve gone to and all girls grammar but decided she wanted to go to a mixed grammar, mainly due to her sport being very well regarded. She loves it there and likes having boys in her class- she says they’re funny!

My 16yo daughter is in an all girls secondary and loves it. She was very sure she didn't want a co-ed after a mixed primary. She plays sports so meets boys at the club and they all coach younger groups together. She generally finds them irritating 😂

Ds (14) is in a mixed secondary as all boys would not have suited him at all.

Loved mine - I benefitted from an ability to attend science classes without being vastly outnumbered by boys (this was particularly relevant at A levels). To me it was just a normal thing that girls did science. Same logic applied re extra curricular clubs eg chess club. There was no implied pressure to focus on the arts, as there can be for girls in mixed sex schools. Also no boys to distract us or for us to fight over.

Gender balance: if all the girls go off to single-sex schools to do maths and science, the situation in the co-eds gets worse. DD was at coed, and in her year at the primary and the 11-16, the girls were holding their own in STEM subjects. In the sixth form, the further maths set was 50:50, although it was 3:1 in chemistry (she was top of the group, though).

It's possible the IoP stat is partly because people are more likely to send their daughters private if they are likely to go for subjects like physics, because of the perception that boys dominate in coed schools.

DD's bunch openly talked about periods in front of their male friends - which hopefully means that periods were normalised for them too.

All her friendship groups have been mixed with the exception of the first two years in secondary. I think those who don't fit traditional moulds (geeky girls, quieter boys) benefit from being able to form mixed friendship groups.

I went to all girls and both my girls too. Strong female friendships and role models, freedom to be whoever you want without sexualisation, no boy competition or distraction or being taught to make yourself small for them…
I could go on. Many many positives with very few negatives. Go for it!

Same, but then both my dd went to a girls' school far more recently.

It wasn't something I was looking for particularly or had any strong feelings about, but it was by far and away the best school they might have been able to get in to, from the choice we had.

I think an important thing (well, I think this is important for all dc, but more so for those at a single sex school) is to ensure they have contact with friends from outside of school.
Scouts, drama, orchestras, any sports where teens are in mixed sex groups, Church youth groups, Cadets, or whatever means they spend a lot of their time with all sorts of other teens, including the opposite sex.

I have one at each. Dd1 went to very academic co-ed school. Has a nice mixed group of friends, a lot of drama kids who did plays/musicals together so not particularly "macho" boys. Her school was very STEM focused but I don't think she really suffered from being with boys. She ended up doing humanities but several of her female friends are doing STEM or a mixture. But her school was selective so don't know if it's reflective.

Dd2 has really thrived in an all girls school. She was a bit intimated by some boys in set 1 for Maths at primary and didn't like putting her hand up as they'd laugh at her if she got it wrong. This is now completely different and she's excelled academically at secondary. She does drama & CCF outside school so still meets boys and will go co-ed for 6th form as her school stops at 16. I don't think either of them have experienced much bitchiness. Honestly the bigger differences have been things like commute, school trips, academic offerings.