Positive experiences with all girls schools?

[Toomanydailydecisions]

Anyone have any? I would prefer co-ed but there's a couple of all girls schools i am going to add to my list for my daughter as I was very impressed during the open days and logistically travel is better too, but so many people I am discussing schools with seem so negative about it because it doesn't represent the real world.

Any pros/cons I need to think about?

My view is come A-levels many go co-ed anyhow (Camden, St Marylebone) so it's really only for GCSE years.

I absolutely loved my all girls school.

It’s special being in a solely female atmosphere - no toxic masculinity creeping in anywhere, no fighting over boys or worrying about what you look like every day.

Plus the top of every class (science, sports) etc was always female so sexism didn’t enter my mind, I never felt like I couldn’t do something

The risk with an all girls school if they don’t have a lot to do with boys outside of it, is that girls can become a bit boy obsessed. Seeing boys as magical creatures rather than the annoying boy who farts in class.
friends who went to girls school talk about finding it hard to make friendships with men all through life, because the bar was firmly set in high school that friends were girls at school, and boys were boyfriends. No real ability to liaise with boys other than flirting.
of course some will say this is nonsense and of course it doesn’t apply to all girls who went to a girls school, but it is a very real thing.

My DD has just switched from coed grammar to all girls' sixth form and is really finding it hard to adapt. She doesn't find it representive of real life and is considering a switch back, despite moving for subject choice.

I went to an all girls' school and found the switch to uni quite odd, so have to say I was pleased when she opted for co-Ed at Y7.

She did spend large amounts of time moaning about the boys at school, though, so I am slightly surprised that she is missing learning with them so much. Her interest is more in girls too, so it's
not for any romantic reasons either!

My daughter thrived in her all-girls school. She loved the fact that all the activities were designed around what girls wanted to do, whether it was football or knitting club. They shared some lessons with boys from the school down the road: Drama, some A levels, Music, etc, and went on the same school buses as the boys. I'm sure her sudden switch to liking science was because the science labs were rebuilt and made much more welcoming, too. She seemed to feel that the space was for her, too.

It depends on the other kids in their class. Like any school.

They all vary. My DD's all girls school was full of bitchery and bullying. She opted for local 6th form college after that.
It's good to hear they are not all like that!

Research shows that girls do (marginally) better academically overall at single-sex schools. And they are significantly more likely to take STEM subjects at A Level over their co-ed counterparts.

I went to an all girl's school and so does my DD. I think the stereotype of all girls' schools being full of bitches, self-harm and EDs is just that - a lazy stereotype. I haven't seen any research to suggest it's more prevalent in single sex than co-ed.

DD finds boys her own age pretty annoying and immature and is pleased not to have them around all day. She mixes with boys at various extra curricular and is perfectly at ease doing so.

For us, the positives of a single-sex education - a space for girls and young women to have complete ownership of, to feel empowered, and to have their voices heard every day - were key.

Mine are at an all girls school. I was sceptical at first, but was hugely impressed with the Head and her views on positive female relationships etc.
Mine both still have a lot of friends from their co-ed primary and to be honest so far it seems that the ‘bitchiness’ at the all girl’s school is less than at their co-ed secondary, largely due to the lack of competition for the attention of boys.
Mine also say how amazing it is that half their lesson isn’t taken up with boys getting told off for being silly and they can actually learn.
ETA ours do mix with the boys school for things like drama productions/musical ensembles etc.

My DD is in year 7 at St Marylebone and loving it so far, although it’s clearly early days. She has made a nice group of friends and we’ve had no bitching or unpleasantness yet (I al aware this may change!). I was keen on the idea of an all-girls’ secondary as I’ve heard so many horror stories about sexual harassment and violence against teenage girls by their male peers. Behavioural issues often seem to be worse in co-ed schools as well. DD has boy cousins close in age so she’s not growing up isolated from male company, and St M is coed at sixth form so there will be boys around then.

I went to one and loved it.

My eldest goes to one and she enjoys not having immature boys about in lessons. She can see them outside of school when they're not disrupting her work. She doesn't need them in her maths lesson.

It also gives her double the amount of girls to be friends with. The couple of friends who went to co-ed secondaries only hang out with girls anyway. So she prefers it for the wider choice of frienships.

They also have some subjects which they didn't have at the co-ed schools. And they have a much wider range of clubs and sports teams, because there are so many of them! Plus the academic results puts the local co-ed schools to shame.

@plumming You are making the mistake of thinking that being taught with boys would change personalities. It doesn’t. The girls who struggle with boys always struggle with boys. You cannot change who they gel with and who they don’t. Both my DDs went to girls schools and I simply don’t recognise the type of girl you are talking about in this day and age. There were lesbian girls at my grammar and they had no intention of getting close to the boys. Girls schools don’t fundamentally change dc. The inability to, or dislike of, mixing with boys is already there. It’s stereotyping girls in girls schools who are just as broad in interests and dislikes as girls in co Ed schools.

DD went to all girls CofE high school for y7-y11. She really enjoyed it and got involved with all sorts of ECAs. For 6th form she switched to a nearby RC boys school that had a co-ed 6th form and found it a complete culture shock - very shouty and lots of testosterone!

I’d never wanted to attend an all girls school myself, and also never thought I’d send any of my own DC to one.

However, then real life happened and DD is now in her 3rd year at Woldingham.

She loved the school from the moment we first visited (their theatre will do that to any child with such interests I’m sure.)

She had some unpleasant alpha male style boys in her primary class so that also made her really like the idea of all girls.

Has been the making of her. She’s ND but very bright and has totally come out of her shell, made lovely friends, and is so happy and confident (obviously regular teenage and ND things still exist but compared to how she was in her old school it’s such a huge improvement.)

She isn’t afraid to get stuck in with anything, there’s no shame or embarrassment and I think actually the lack of boys plays a part in that. Also the way differences (ND/LGBT/race) are embraced and celebrated is so refreshing and I do sometimes wonder if that’s in part due to the cohort being all girls too.

You’re of course entitled to have your own opinion but I’ve been told by friends their own direct experiences, none of whom are shy retiring types. They explain their experiences of having no boys around them, during a period when they were learning how to develop friendships and learn to live life. They recount not learning to see boys as anything other than love interests because they were not available for anything else, which then did have an impact on their ability to be friends with men later on. I know boys at a boys school now who don’t seem to understand how to be around girls apart from resorting to being as loud and brash as possible. I have said this isn’t everyone’s experince of course but I would always say if children are going to a single sex school, it is very important that they have lots of opportunities to be around the opposite sex. ive seen women here say the same thing on similar threads. It’s not illogical to see that being kept apart from a group of people can make it hard for you to interact with them when the time comes as uni or wherever

My girls have loved their all girls state school and are happy to speak up in class, be geeky, appear clever. 6th form is mixed and elder daughter is now making friends with boys not just wanting to snog them.

I went to a mixed school and couldn't look a boy/man in the eye until I was 25! But it was a different kind of state school. I'm not sure anyone was allowed to appear clever, even boys.

All anecdata of course.

@plumming Girls don’t just form friendships with boys at school. It’s 6 hours a day! They might not want boys around them whilst they are learning and they like their boy free zones. They certainly might want to escape the banter and judgement. You are apart for a few hours a day it’s not a prison sentence! Of course DDs can meet boys if they want at many other activities. Girls even have brothers! My DDs met brothers and their friends. They are not “Kept apart”. They are taught as girls. For a few hours a day! You have no idea! They interact if they want to. Girls who don’t want to, don’t, regardless of where they are educated.

I went to both types... and foubd the girls school to be a haven away from the bullying, immature behaviour and misogny in the mixed school.

Ok calm down! My opinion is valid, as is yours. There are pros and cons to everything in life including single sex schools. Just because you don’t want to hear the cons then doesn’t mean they don’t exist

I think it's unnatural and sexist personally, like girls need special treatment and can't compete with boys in STEM, which is not true! One girl we know at all-girls-school went a bit "boy crazy" and is not at an all boys school, which takes girls for 6th form. I think single sex schools are a strange environment and a breeding ground for bullying.

We've had a healthy mix but all agree the single sex is better for girls confidence and STEM subjects. It has been documented to death so I won't go over it again but it is true for our family.

Dd actually had mostly boy friends in her Primary but the reason we decided to go single sex for senior was that she found the very loud boys (about 1/3 of the class) were distracting and too violent. She was told she was sensitive repeatedly for not liking it and telling teachers when they would hit smaller kids etc. It turns out she is Autistic and actually that alone is a good reason for a single sex school IMO. She has never been into fashion or having a boyfriend, so I imagine that would have left her open to being bullied.

Also I wouldn’t worry about it ‘not being real life’. Many women work in female dominated environments so for them it may well be a big part of their life. Most women probably have mainly female friends too. It’s not necessarily a bad thing growing up around girls for your school lessons too. There’s lots of other places to be around boys.

Rather than ‘anecdata’ look at the research. Girls do far far better in single sex schools - both academically and holistically.

@Completeme Well as you can see, people believe girls go boy mad and they are in an unnatural environment which is a breeding ground for bullying! No bullying at co Ed schools then. No girl can possibly be a standard girl at a girls school. Or turn out to be a well educated person making good decisions about boys. You couldn’t make it up - oh, wait a minute, they just did.

My DD loved hers. No more bitchiness than her friends talked about at their co-ed. Similarly my niece is at a non-selective girls school which she chose herself.

DD has a mix of male and female friends from university, so it hasn’t impacted in the long term.

Unnatural and sexist? Maybe. Beneficial for girls' confidence and academic results? Absolutely！
And frankly, viewing a teenage girl as 'boy crazy' and treating that as something negative is a sexist double standard in itself. No one minds a teenage boy being “girl crazy”！