Year 11 - 2024/2025: And relax! Support Thread for the summer holidays.

[QueenMabby]

New thread to carry us all through the summer as we transition from dealing with stressed teens to dealing with bored teens!

@Michele09 and @LikeABat thank you, i did add up on his spring report but couldn't get to 53 so weighting of English and maths may be the difference. I will try again!

I wonder if he turns out to be one or two points off how strict they will be but guess they have to draw the line somewhere.

thanks

How strict they are may depend on several factors like which subjects he list points on; how undersubscribed a course is; and given they know him already - his work ethic. Fingers crossed he gets the points!

Oh, I’m so sorry about your DD and her anxiety…. Having to make choices about an important step in your future must be very difficult at such a young age, more so if she is suffering with anxiety. 🤗… Did she find the anti anxiety meds helped? How is she feeling now? ( generally, guess natural stress about the 21st).. x

@Sisublondie
It's been a very difficult few months with both dds.
Older dd is now questioning her career choice (which I understand..) after doing her postgrad.
We ended up at a&e with dd in January 😔
Camhs have been utterly useless, so she's been having private counselling since February.
She's only ever taken 2 of the anti anxiety meds - I think its more about knowing they are there?
She had another bad episode during May half term in between the gcses - that's when the gp prescribed the meds.
I really thought the A level taster day disaster would trigger another episode, but she's been so busy with prom, her hobbies, meet ups and events that it hasn't seemed to trigger anything (yet..)
She knows a couple of people who will be on her course and a few more who will be based in the same building (its a beautiful building)
I dunno 🤷‍♀️
I'm just clinging on and hoping for the best at this stage...😬

I really hope she gets her well deserved 9’s. 🤞🙏🤞.. It really is a shock, tho, when “ expected” grades aren’t there… I do know what you mean. DS18 is very different to his little bro… when he came out of school with his A-Level results last year, he mimed that “so-so” hand gesture and I thought his results weren’t good….. and my heart sank…… When he got close enough to talk, he told me he’d “only “ got an A in Spanish ( his favourite passion subject!)! But, I know how gutted he was……. despite my knowing their would be peers there probably getting results like I did when I bombed ( or is it “ cooked, now?!” 😈😹), my A Levels Round one. For him, he’d done three weeks in Argentina at 16, did tutoring twice a week and had a gap year in South America planned, worked tirelessly and he was so upset. ( yes, I know that sounds ridiculous!).
This time round, it’s just different desires on the day, for a different DC. With many other people feeling the same.

I’m keeping everything crossed for mini @QueenMabby! 🤞🙏🤞.. I hope she makes her friends ( and you, and herself!) proud…… ( which she will, regardless, but with her much wanted 9’s).. 😸

*THERE!!!! And, I have got two English A Levels, too! I was rushing typing! Sorry!! 😳

Just seen this!! Will reply on your latest!! I just scrolled back.. been rushing round today!!) 😿

@Sisublondie
Sorry, I just realised I waffled and didn't answer your question!🫣
Dd seems ok atm.
She's talking positively about the FE college and the course.
She's working pt and doing art projects at home.
She's exercising and eating well.
Bedtimes could be earlier but, hey, she's 16 😃
She's had counselling today, she's meeting friend on Wednesday, up to gps on Thursday to do "jobs", we have a spa thing on Friday and then its the weekend again.
Next week will be interesting 😬🙃

Unfortunately CAHMS are very useless especially when students are doing well at school academically, they often think that means it can't be that bad. They often do the same if you have high attendance, which is just a ridiculous thing to do. I hope she gets the grades she wants, A-levels are very tough and require more work from the start and more extra wider reading etc but it still needs to be balanced with the freedoms of 16-18 and having fun.

@TheLivelyViper
Yes. You hear awful stories about camhs, but
It's been an eye opener, for sure.
Once dds school realised how much she was struggling they did step up, but...🤷‍♀️
It's the reason dh and I really haven't pushed her or pressed her about exam revision or a plan b. Her mh is more important.
Hopefully, it will all work out 🤞

@TheLivelyViper
She's changed her mind and is now doing a 2 year extended btec.
I think its the right decision for her.
She's 17 next month and is so done with "school".
I also didn't realise how much the covid lockdowns affected her secondary school experience...she's really only liked school from about halfway through Y10 😔
She needs to spread her wings, I think

That's a good idea, it's important she does what's best for her and she can always go back and do something else if she thinks she wants to. Yes Covid has had such an impact on so many children sadly. What subject is the BTEC in?

Oooohhhhh, @Whoooo…. you must have been beyond exhausted with stress, yourself. Because it’s easy to see them as teeny, again, and we can pick them up, dust them down and make them all better, again. Is older DD at a Uni close by? May/June sounds very troubling, thank God she continued and congratulations on her graduation later this year!! Has she already got a position in her career choice, that she is now questioning? Or, has she historically decided on a path, yet is “mmmmm, not sure” about it, now? I’m guessing the Uni aren’t helping with careers advice? But, great that you saw her back to laughing and enjoying life 😸..

That is so upsetting to be at a&e with DD… You really have had a shocker 2025, thus far 😼😿…. I’m sorry CAMHS have been rubbish.. DS was referred to them here when he was very little … similar to you…… I don’t actually know what is happening with his school referred therapist now he’s left. His autism Community Paed was his rock… been seeing her since he was 4/5.., but she’s just retired.
I think that’s a brilliant idea going privately. (I’ll have a look into that, so 🙏..) How is she handling it? Is she feeling better after starting?

I don’t know which meds, but I do think there is truth in the fact that just knowing they are at hand, should you decided to take them, is a great comfort. My lifelong best friend died tragically at the start of 2023, and it was horrible. My GP prescribed Propranolol and it was perfect… I could take one if I needed to, it didn’t “ zombie me out”, it just “ took the edge off”, and stopped my breathing quickening and heart starting to race. I hope she finds something that helps..luckily it sounds like what her GP prescribed in what was obviously a hellish half term worked…

The beautiful building sounds fab!! ( DS’s hoped for one is., too! I’m hoping he gets in and finds it as fab inside, learning wise, as I do look at!).. Really great that she has a few people known to her on the course .. and in said o key building! It definitely helps, seeing a friendly face around!
She sounds like she is having an excellent fun packed Summer so far, too!

You should be so VERY proud of how you have kept it all together this year, for your two precious DD. They are very lucky to have you…. I’m sure with you behind them, whatever happens it will all be ok…. 🤗

@Sisublondie
Gosh, you'll have me bawling soon! 😃
Thank you for your very kind post 💙
I'm very sorry for your loss, how awful for you x
It's propranalol that dd has a pack of, too. They've certainly helped as she knows if she gets very anxious they are there.
Older dd did a secondary pgce.
I'm amazed she stuck it out...thec2nd placement mentor was truly awful. I wanted her to raise a grievance with the university, but she refused.
She's going to make an appointment with the university careers service next month but, I'm not sure how that will work out.
She needs to really take some time and think about what she wants her working life to look like, because working 80 hour weeks made her ill 😔
It's quite funny, really. Dds friends parents are pressuring her to get a job and I'm saying "take your time, its fine..." 🤣

Wrt counselling - dd says its really helped her.
We found her counsellor through BCAP and bupa.
It's not cheap but bupa cover half of it so it could be worse.

Well!! The 🧖 spa thing…. ! Ooooh!! Super jealous!! My twin and I took Mum to a spa hotel near here
( coincidentally right near DS beautiful building, I tried not to think of results day when we walked past it) last weekend, and I adored it! DS wouldn’t be up for it, so I’d love to have a DD to be in the thermal pool with….. I hope you have a fantastic time! She must be so excited about it.

It’s good she’s getting out and about and having fun. I hope her counselling went well today.

It’s hard for me to gauge with DS as his “ thing” is gaming, but I think he’s on good form.. he’s dragged me out into town to a new food place that’s opened the last couple of days, ( to get takeout sweet stuff ) and I’m taking him to meet a friend next week in a town in the next county (nice Premier Inn!), so I’m hoping he has fun, there. 🤞.

The late nights…..🙀.. yeh… I share your pain ! It’s sweet, in a way, as he knows I’m always up for a chat if he wants it, at stupid o clock, or to come downstairs to make snacks… ( usually cause I’m waiting to be summoned by DS18 to be picked up!) but sometimes, like yesterday, he got a text at 03.33 from me…., “plleeeaasseeee keep it down! I have to be up at 7am!”….

So, you’re right! They are only 16… and with DS18 off to Edinburgh next month, they won’t be hanging around forever 🤔🤷‍♀️😸… make the most of it!

Oh! Edinburgh!
We took a day trip there last month.
Its such a wonderful city!

Is he going to 6th form or college? The school will send send safeguarding/pastoral files over to them so they know. The referral to the therapist if done through CAHMS should still happen (if they've finished all the paperwork etc), and his new school should eb able to chase it up as well. I'd ask the teacher or main staff you've been dealing with though on results day or in September just to make sure everything is sorted and als if there's anything you need to do. But it should all go through the system as fine.

Ooh, I hope you enjoyed it! I’m very excited for him 😸.. ( but, the hotel prices! I picked a random Monday in September at Premier Inn… it was £341, or something mad! 😡!)….. ( “his” room in his Halls is going for nearly £800 for 3 nights this week.. but, hoping that’s just Fringe).. 😳😹

@TheLivelyViper… thank you for that!! College ( I hope)…
I’ve been worrying about this a bit, in that I’m pretty sure he didn’t mention his ND at interview, or since. I think it’s really important that they are aware, obviously, but I don’t know how the correct way of informing them would be. I guess at enrolment ( 🤞🙏🤞)? ..

Thank you again 🙏

Thank you for your kind words. What is most upsetting is that she didn’t get to see her DS go off to Uni, she’d have been so proud. 💕

Sounds like that has been a very tough time, it sound soul destroying, to be honest. That’s so not ok. I hope the Uni careers advisors can help and she can take a deep breath and not make a panicked decision. I think you are so right in not pushing or hurrying her- absolutely 💯 !

And, it’s great younger DD finds the Prop a help. I always have mine in my bag…..just in case….. ( and it’s also heartening when you see the strip at a later date with none, or only a couple gone)…🌟

Yes I'd inform them at enrolment and also ask his current school if they shared any basic info yet, normally they send the proper files in September and I'd check the referral paperwork was all done and can be managed by his college.

Ah, ok, so his current school will be aware of where he has applied to? ( DS doesn’t keep me in the loop- at all 😼)… I didn’t realise that. Well, that’s good to know and I’ll make enquiries with them to see. I just assumed they’d be done and dusted with him….. I was panicking as to his much ( if anything), DS will inform his new college as to his difficulties. Back in February when he had his interview, I had no idea whether he should bring it to their attention at that point ( he said he did).

Excellent, I will get on the case to check, then. Thank you so much… it is difficult when you don’t know the behind the scenes working 🤷‍♀️😹!

The current school won't pass anything over until he's enrolled at the new place. They can't because it's his personal data.

When we enroll students, we ask them about SEN/EAA/anything else they think we need to know.

@Sisublondie
That's heartbreaking 💔
I'm currently helping dh plan his uncles funeral (very long story why we are doing it...)
It's brought back all the admin stresses and red tape from my beloved late dads funeral 😔
But we are doing our best to follow his (rather complicated) wishes.
Older dd is on her first holiday abroad woth her bf and without us ...she admitted yesterday she was a bit anxious. I told her we are only a phone call away...
I'm not doing much today. I'm too hot, next door had scaffolders throwing poles around from 7am 😡 and I feel cranky 😠 😃