Daughter denied prom attendance.

[Paul87]

Morning all, first time post for me.

my daughter has a long standing stomach condition that school have been aware of you some years.
unfortunately this has caused her some time off.
she has also had problems with bully’s focusing purely on her appearance.
the school took ages to finally resolve this only after we discussed moving schools and I had told them I’d be looking to hand this to my solicitor due to the ongoing issue.
a vicious circle really, the bully’s exasperated her stomach issue and the time off school made her fall behind and being behind in her work also exasperated her issue.

school said with a note from her doctor to explain this medical condition she would still be permitted to attend prom.
School has since told her, due to her attendance she will not be permitted to attend prom !

Am I looking too much into this or does it seem like she’s being discriminated against due to her ongoing complaint.
thanks.

I do. Maybe you shouldn't.

I'd actually find a solicitor to write the head a letter. Expressing discrimination against a medical condition. I'm pretty sure they'll change their minds after one letter.

I didn’t want to say it…🤣

Because she hasn't been ill every single day of the year?

Plus a prom/party is a different scenario to a school day. You don't have to think or work, you have completely free access to toilet facilities, you can take breaks anytime you want, if you feel pain you can leave at any point.

One of my good friends had a very serious medical condition, her attendance was very poor towards the end of our school as she just wasn't well enough to come to school but she did attend prom (which I'm really grateful as she soon passed). Almost like it takes less effort to come and sit down, laughing with your friends than get through a whole day at school. And it wiped her out for a few days, which you can do for a one off but can't manage every day

Once again unless you are this child's doctor, you have no idea as to how this medical condition may affect her and what her capabilities are

It sounds like she can't go because the toilets are locked. Locked toilets are not great when you don't have the key. As a disabled person.

Yes, this. A disabled person isn't a faulty thing that isn't any use for anything at all and only fit to be overlooked and disregarded in the corner as irrelevant and unimportant.

We face huge challenges in life, and we end up having to miss out on a lot of things that able-bodied people take for granted; but that doesn't mean that we're utterly useless and can't do or enjoy anything. Nor should it come as a surprise that we would want to.

Agree with many others on this thread. This is clearly unlawful discrimination. If they refuse to back down and you take them to court, this will be expensive for them.

I personally think it’s a gross abuse of power not letting kids attend prom for attendance issues, regardless of the reason. If they’ve had horrendous behaviour issues, then maybe, but it’s a once in a lifetime event. It’s unforgivable to deny them entry, and it’s a totally disproportionate punishment for most things.

You were right not to say it, since the person who said it made an utter fool of themself.

This.
Definitely.
Awful behaviour on the part of the school.
I hope it works out well for her.
Good Luck 😘

So under the Equality Act, this is actually unlawful treatment of your daughter. It’s illegal to penalise pupils based on attendance if there is a known medical condition. This needs pointing out to the HT. Please keep us updated on what the letter says OP.

This would have to go to the tribunal, where damages can't be awarded and it is difficult to get costs against the other side, unfortunately.

Just show up with her. Tell them they will need to call the police if they want you to leave and they will need to explain to the police why they tried to ban her. Then, when the police show up - Put in a complaint of harassment, discrimination, intimidation, and bullying. Tell them the school are making you feel fearful. Tell the school you will be doing this, if you turn up with your daughter and they kick-off.

Is OP your mother? If not, why are you calling her Mum? Should we automatically disbelieve mothers in your view?

I have worked in schools and the biggest problem with behaviour is lack of consequences. That said, they do tend to go for blanket policies rather than individual issues. I suppose in some ways deemed fair.

I’m not saying it’s right, there should be exceptions.

A local group of mums organise prom for those excluded. Book the venue and photographer etc - it’s very well attended!
Sone ‘included’ kids chose this alternative to their main prom.

She has a long term illness that affects her daily life. Seems to me that this could (and should) be classed as disability. Does that then mean the school is discriminating against your daughter, and her rights are covered under the Equalities Act?

Not sure of the answer but probably worth a call to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission to find out. Info here: www.equalityhumanrights.com/about-us/contact-us#:~:text=You%20can%20also%20call%20us,8100%20to%20arrange%20a%20call.

Depends on the police force. Would suggest if this is your decision you make it clear to the school beforehand and be 100% willing to do this. Otherwise it's an idle threat.

The alternative event is a better option.

illness isn’t behaviour. So it shouldn’t be included full stop in reasons to exclude someone from the prom. Actual bad behaviour I agree should potentially be a reason.

i don’t think she, or anyone, should be banned from prom, but this isn’t the answer. Even slightly.

This is grossly unfair! Speak to the governors and like someone else suggested go to the local paper

Children with chronic health conditions and those who are bullied (as acknowledged by school in this case) are “bratty” are they?

Delightful. What exactly do you claim is your role in schools? You seem someone limited in your understanding of the basics around equalities, duty of care, normal bullying policies etc

Having been discriminated against as a child with medical issues Im livid for your daughter Call them out on the discrimination and threaten legal action

Surely this is direct disability discrimination? If your daughter’s stomach condition affects her health long term that would be classed as a disability under the Equalities Act. I would contact the EHRC for advice and I’d be making loud noises to school about bringing a disability discrimination case.

I have organised proms for years and have fought tooth and nail with SLT for nearly all the kids to go (only those who have done something serious should not). I always used to win - SLT are so blinded by rules they often forget there are real people behind them.