Daughter denied prom attendance.

[Paul87]

Morning all, first time post for me.

my daughter has a long standing stomach condition that school have been aware of you some years.
unfortunately this has caused her some time off.
she has also had problems with bully’s focusing purely on her appearance.
the school took ages to finally resolve this only after we discussed moving schools and I had told them I’d be looking to hand this to my solicitor due to the ongoing issue.
a vicious circle really, the bully’s exasperated her stomach issue and the time off school made her fall behind and being behind in her work also exasperated her issue.

school said with a note from her doctor to explain this medical condition she would still be permitted to attend prom.
School has since told her, due to her attendance she will not be permitted to attend prom !

Am I looking too much into this or does it seem like she’s being discriminated against due to her ongoing complaint.
thanks.

This is such a horrible way of dealing with things in schools. The young person, who already has more to contend with than their peers is made to feel guilty/embarrassed/ashamed of something that they have no control over. I also think attendance based awards are discrimination full stop and fail to understand how this "teaches" anything except potentially some form of martyrdom and putting others, potentially vulnerable people at risk from those who come in with infections!
I do agree it's important to ensure children are able to be in school whenever possible and support if there are barriers to attending.
Equally it's not always possible to request specialist medical appointments in holidays or outside of normal school hours!
I say this as the parent of a child with a congenital physical & medical health disorder whose attendance has never been more than 50 odd percent. We have been fortunate that both primary & secondary school have recognised this is beyond her/our control & have at times even encouraged her to come in just to attend the more fun bits so she doesn't constantly miss out.
Please do take this further OP & as outlined by a PP who is a governor, look at contacting the Body of Governors & how you go about this in the proper process. I hope your DD is well enough to attend.

Worth going to the school and talking with the head teacher or head of year calmly. Seems like discrimination otherwise, especially if she has a doctor notes.

I know that it’s different, but I hate all the attendance award shit. I ended up being off school a few times due to having epilepsy appointments and scans/EEG’s with my neurologist during the day and as such I was never able to get an attendance award.

Cant bare schools for this , to openly exclude a pupil its pathetic.
Is your daughter really bothered by not going to a school prom I'd ask her her feelings .

Proms are an abomination that perpetuate everything that is wrong about the current school system- power hungry lackeys unable to make an educational impact so flex their muscles by creating these kind of riules, and the nature of them serves only to marginalise those on the outskirts even further. Behaviour should be the only bar to attendance. Lots of good advice here, I hope you’ve are successful in a resolution.

Straight to Governors with medical evidence and state that they are discriminating against your daughter. Mention legal action

This sucks that’s it’s still happening . I have IBD and wasn’t allowed to go to my prom as I was in and out of hospital in year 11. Still sucks to this day but none of my friends went either to stick up for me . We had a takeaway and a dance at one of our friends houses who had a massive garage . About 15 of us went.

It comes under protected characteristics and disability discrimination laws.
My DS' old school pulled this crap over a cinema treat. You had to have over 100 achievement points and at least 98% attendance
My DS' had 250 points but due to having COPD and other illnesses, he had 91% attendance. So he was given a banned letter.
He wasn't having any of it and wrote a letter to his headteacher, pointing out the disability act and that he wasn't bunking off, he was genuinely ill and their rules on attendance made this worse because he was picking up chest infections.

School apologised and changed their rules. The head actually admitted looking at the disability act and realised they were indeed breaking the law.

I suggest you mention to the school. Threaten a solicitor.

I fucking hate this. The prom should be for everyone; it's to celebrate the end of school.

I'm a solicitor and this is the kind of thing I would gleefully write a letter for. You potentially have them on two points

• disability discrimination, and victimisation due to her ongoing complaint with the school. How fucking dare they.

I really hope your letter would include "how fucking dare they" 😁

This is disability discrimination. Disability is defined as something lasting more than 12 months. Discrimination is treating someone differently in relation to their disability. I’d be telling the school they will be receiving a disability discrimination case if they are excluding her based on her long term health condition.

This is discrimination and not ok , quite the disability discrimination act , and equality act! She has a medical condition so they’re discriminating , not like the poor girl is bunking off to go shopping everyday , hope you get a good outcome , wouldn’t let this drop though

It sounds like your son needed more time off to be honest.

@fernfriend agree 100% I’d be looking at what the stomach complaint is and whether would class as a disability I would quote the equality act at the school -
Yes, the Equality Act 2010 covers schools, ensuring they don't discriminate against pupils or employees based on protected characteristics like race, disability, sex, or religion. The Act applies to all schools, including maintained schools, academies, free schools, and independent schools

This is disability discrimination and I would complain on this basis. Absolutely disgusting.

That is seriously shitty and quite possibly the worst thing I’ve read about on here in a long long time.
Yeah, discrimination on the grounds of the complaint and also on health grounds id say.

Hii i have read alot about children getting banned from proms recently for the most stupid stuff x
i dont know if you follow 'part time working mum' but she did a massive post about her girl being banned and loads and loads of parents wrote to her about their own experiences x
schools are so out dated my son usually
comes home having soiled himself saying he wasnt allowed to use the loo hes 7 it infuriates me and i have spoke to them x
have your own prom and stick two fingers up to them! Xxx

Don't yield OP. This is appalling. Yes there are rules and there are tickboxes. Equally there should be compassion and understanding. Particularly when the school is complicit in your daughter's heightened symptons and absences via bullying.

I'm so enraged by this.

Look up disability discrimination in their won school policy and quote some out them. Tell them they are breaking policy and you would like to know whether its best to contact the local authority the board of governors or offstead to make a formal complaint.

It’s a v harsh policy. My daughter looked as though she would lose her prom in Y11. She did something silly and impulsive that had consequences she hadn’t anticipated. We fully supported school’s decision to exclude her from it as we knew their policy. However, they put together a ‘passport to prom’ for her, giving her the opportunity to earn it back. It worked, she kept her head down, worked hard and earned it back. There were certainly no exclusions on the grounds of attendance unless truancy was involved.

Schools can be pretty bonkers places at times. My school (primary) reward pupils who walk to school with badges. Head could not understand my objection that no 6 year old (year 1) had any control over their method of transport to school. Pure madness.

Anyway, I really hope your daughter is able to go to and enjoy her prom. It sounds like she more than deserves it.

10 years working in a secondary school here and I don’t think the OPs child should be banned from prom (or any child with a medical reasoning). And other than the children with severe behavioural issues and the odd difficult parent, most aren’t bratty at all but just having a bad moment, like you clearly were when you wrote that response. Perhaps you should find another job.

Or you could try your MP as she’s being discriminated against for a medical issue.

I’d throw the book at them. Go to the top. Make it very plain this is medical discrimination after failings on their part that exacerbated the issue and they either include her or you get a solicitor involved. I wouldn’t normally recommend this, but the school are becoming the bullies by punishing her unfairly.

If this were a workplace and it was a reward based on attendance/lack of sick leave, then there would be discrimination issues if they didn’t give the reward due to sickness levels for such medical reasons. Therefore schools should be not be falling fowl of this

Yes, of course they're discriminating, and it's unlawful. Get hold of the school's equality and complaints policies, point out to them everything which (I hope) says they will not discriminate on the basis of disability, and ask for an immediate reversal of this decision. Point out that it's been hard enough for your child coping with the stomach condition plus bullying, and this just exacerbates all of that. Also say ever so politely that it would be a real pity if you had to start a formal disability discrimination claim so you hope this can be resolved amicably.

And, if they won't play ball, contact the Equality Advisory and Support Service and take that claim all the way.