Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Junior maths challenge 2025

476 replies

scisso · 07/05/2025 12:29

Does anyone know when the results and boundaries get announced? How was this year’s paper in comparison to previous years?

DD sat it and thought some of them were quite hard so had to guess them, but she hasn’t done much of the past papers so doesn’t have much to compare against.

any insights would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Statistico · 09/05/2026 20:58

MTHRVRD2030 · 09/05/2026 20:20

@GHGN @Statistico @Surfer1978 and others whose DC got top marks,

I am really happy for your DC's achievements. This is huge work from their end. Well-done to them (and their parents)!

I have another purely pedagogical question for this thread 😊

Based on many of your DCs’ results and achievements, it’s very clear that a lot of you have done an excellent job supporting mathematical development from a young age. Some of you may also come from maths/STEM backgrounds yourselves, which I imagine helps a great deal.

I’d genuinely love to hear more about what you actually did when your children were younger and how that evolved over time. For context, I have a 4-year-old DD and I’m very interested in developing her logical thinking, analytical/problem-solving ability, and overall confidence with maths. I’d really appreciate hearing:

  • what you did from a young age
  • when you started “more serious” maths enrichment
  • what resources you found genuinely useful
  • how you nurtured and sustained interest in maths over time
Did you use things like:
  • Beast Academy?
  • puzzles/games?
  • Doodle Learning?
  • maths circles?
  • tutors?
  • competition prep later on?
And for those with older DCs:
  • what resources do they use now?
  • how often do they do maths outside school?
  • do they have tutors/coaching?
  • how independent are they?
One thing I sometimes wonder about is this: many mathematically exceptional children seem to completely immerse themselves in maths and happily spend 3–4 hours a day on it. For parents who are not from maths backgrounds themselves (I’m a sociologist), what would your advice be if your child is interested and capable in maths, but not naturally “obsessed” with it? Basically: how do you encourage strong mathematical development without turning it into pressure or burnout? Would really value hearing different experiences and approaches.
  • Primary school taught Singapore Maths model. Important.
(Astonishing that basic math is taught any other way). They suggested nRich which is very good quality although a little dry, old school website.

When little, numbers can be everywhere. Just like words.

(First Math Challenge is new and is for age 7-9)
Primary school offered Primary Maths Challenge (run by MA not UKMT) to year 6.
I asked if kid could sit it in year5, was told ok, but don't expect much, check his resilience etc.
He gold to Bonus Round and then got a Gold Award (0.3% of entrants). Good lad.
He actually did some practice for latter because I jokingly offered a new games console if he got a goal. He got that.

Since y5 we have been looking at parallel.org free weekly problems. They cleverly include YouTube vids a lot which this generation much prefer and also do free online presenter led circles. Fun quizzes. He won a cool pencil etc
IMHO parallel is the best free math resource out there as I've posted several times on this thread.
Since y7 they have a Parallel Academy tuition group. Very high quality..small group. Exam required. Small fee if you can afford.

Have never done any paid tutoring for maths.

There's so much cool math/stem on YouTube etc Veritasium etc

Child is NOT obsessed with math.
Probably healthy.
Is much better when he puts mind to it and but can be quite casual of late (in all things hormones y8) cos school maths is straightforward.
Told me at bedtime last night if the universe is a torus then you could have a polygon with two sides. Where did you see that I ask, nowhere i was just thinking about it.
No idea if true or not. Sounds feasible.

I took stem degree, but didn't get great math teaching when young apart from here is next years textbook. Several friends are proper mathmos and I realise their wonderful brains were nurtured.

Try to show a path, plant some seeds, don't push. Certainly don't 'train'

Surfer1978 · 09/05/2026 22:48

MTHRVRD2030 · 09/05/2026 20:20

@GHGN @Statistico @Surfer1978 and others whose DC got top marks,

I am really happy for your DC's achievements. This is huge work from their end. Well-done to them (and their parents)!

I have another purely pedagogical question for this thread 😊

Based on many of your DCs’ results and achievements, it’s very clear that a lot of you have done an excellent job supporting mathematical development from a young age. Some of you may also come from maths/STEM backgrounds yourselves, which I imagine helps a great deal.

I’d genuinely love to hear more about what you actually did when your children were younger and how that evolved over time. For context, I have a 4-year-old DD and I’m very interested in developing her logical thinking, analytical/problem-solving ability, and overall confidence with maths. I’d really appreciate hearing:

  • what you did from a young age
  • when you started “more serious” maths enrichment
  • what resources you found genuinely useful
  • how you nurtured and sustained interest in maths over time
Did you use things like:
  • Beast Academy?
  • puzzles/games?
  • Doodle Learning?
  • maths circles?
  • tutors?
  • competition prep later on?
And for those with older DCs:
  • what resources do they use now?
  • how often do they do maths outside school?
  • do they have tutors/coaching?
  • how independent are they?
One thing I sometimes wonder about is this: many mathematically exceptional children seem to completely immerse themselves in maths and happily spend 3–4 hours a day on it. For parents who are not from maths backgrounds themselves (I’m a sociologist), what would your advice be if your child is interested and capable in maths, but not naturally “obsessed” with it? Basically: how do you encourage strong mathematical development without turning it into pressure or burnout? Would really value hearing different experiences and approaches.

Hi, our son has always been maths obsessed, and could solve the Countdown maths problems at age 3. My wife and I are not maths-y people at all, so at a bit of a loss to explain where it comes from. He has just always loved numbers and finds them very calming and enjoyable.

We were unsure how to help him so my wife recorded a video of him when he was younger and sent it to the maths departments of various local private schools. One of the teachers (only one replied!) at one of the schools agreed to see him on an ad hoc basis. They meet up 1-2 times a month and just talk about maths. Not with any objective in mind, just to talk about concepts and theory. I rarely see my son as calm and happy as I do when he’s discussing math with this guy. He (the teacher) has coached members of the British Olympiad team before as says he’s one of the strongest mathematicians (for his age) he’s ever met.

Beyond this, our son devours websites like Parallel, Brilliant.org and Numberphile, and when he was younger loved Carole Vorderman’s maths site.

Like many kids who are really talented at maths, our son is also neurodiverse and has been diagnosed with adhd and autistic traits (he doesn’t meet the criteria for full autism diagnosis). He also has a 156 IQ which is a contributing factor to his maths ability I’m sure.

So basically we’ve done what we can to support him, but his maths ability seems to be fundamentally innate. I’d love to take credit for his skills but that would be misleading.

I do think making maths materials available to your child (like the websites mentioned above and books like the murderous maths series) could potentially help develop their interest but I wouldn’t push too much. We’ve also found music (especially music theory) has worked well in tandem with his maths - it’s a cliche but it’s true that maths and music have a lot in common. Good luck!

nannyl · 11/05/2026 21:42

nannyl · 30/04/2026 15:41

This year DD1 (who has been kangeroo / best in school in, since y6) did the one for y9+ as shes now in y9

My DD2 who is very good at maths, but not at the "best in school" level as her sister took it (for the 3rd time)

I also work in their school and spoke to the person who invidulated the primary children (independant school with primary and seniors)
She has invidulated the junior maths challenge for the past 4 years and she believed that this one was harder than the others.

My DD2 said it was hard, but she didnt think it was much harder than last years.... (but she has had another year of maths lessons since)

I cant imagine DD2 will get through to kangeroo or anything... she'l be delighted if she gets bronze!

Wow,

I clearly under estimated DD2.

She's only gone and got Gold, best in year, and is through to kangeroo.

Shes at one of the top non selective independant schools in the country!!!!
The person who is always top, came second, and my DD, one of the youngest children in the whole year won!

Having a properly gifted older sister, means, perhaps, I don't see her for the talent she has.

(to be fair, all of my childrens parents, grandparents, and even great grandparents are naturally talented at maths!)

sunflowerdaisies · 11/05/2026 21:56

Some great results!! Well done to your children! I was hoping my daughter would find out today but hasn’t and wasn’t mentioned in her maths lesson.

Jonny234 · 12/05/2026 10:13

Just heard from my DD. She made it with 112. Phew!

GHGN · 13/05/2026 22:42

@MTHRVRD2030
to answer your question, I taught DC how to count and stopped there until she could read fluently in year 1. When she was learning to add numbers, I taught her to add all combinations from 1+1 to 9+9 so she could recall by heart all of them instantaneously. At the same time, she learnt all the times tables by rote without knowing what they were.

By year 2, she was taught the whole primary curriculum + a lot more in about 3 months because she had everything in place. Algebra took 2 years to master to GCSE level, alongside Geometry. She then found a love for sports and slowed down with maths until year 6. She didn’t do any of the Beast Academy, Parallel or similar programs. I didn’t think it was necessary for a kid who started JMC in year 2 and eventually SMC in primary school anyway.

I never praised her for doing mental maths quickly because it is totally useless and encouraged kids to be lazy. She learnt to do maths by writing out explanation and proof. It was painfully slow at first but came in handy when she eventually qualified for various Olympiads over the last 5 years.

I don’t think she is naturally good at maths. Not to the level I was at that age anyway. She is not obsessed with maths as she plays her sport to a very high level. I guess she was lucky to be taught maths systematically so she didn’t have to learn unnecessary methods and topics.

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 09:38

@GHGN @Surfer1978 @Statistico

Many thanks for your responses and for sharing your experiences. I really appreciate it. I gained a lot of useful insights and food for thought regarding my approach to supporting my daughter.

My DD turned 4 yesterday. She reads very well already — around Oxford Reading Tree Level 6–7 — and has been reading since she was about 3.5 years old. She also comprehends what she reads. In maths, she can subitize up to 20, knows 2D and 3d geometric shapes; and her DoodleLearning maths, English, and spelling age is currently around 6 years old according to the app’s assessment.

I don’t necessarily think she is “gifted” or “talented,” but I do think she may be somewhat above average academically for her age.

After reading your posts, I now realise I need to be much more strategic in the way I support her development. Neither my husband nor I are particularly maths-oriented people, although I did perform well in maths during my own school years.

What I wanted most is to support her in a balanced and thoughtful way helping her develop strong foundations, curiosity, confidence, and enjoyment of learning, rather than pushing her too hard too early.

Thank you once again and well-done to your parenting!

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 10:01

GHGN · 13/05/2026 22:42

@MTHRVRD2030
to answer your question, I taught DC how to count and stopped there until she could read fluently in year 1. When she was learning to add numbers, I taught her to add all combinations from 1+1 to 9+9 so she could recall by heart all of them instantaneously. At the same time, she learnt all the times tables by rote without knowing what they were.

By year 2, she was taught the whole primary curriculum + a lot more in about 3 months because she had everything in place. Algebra took 2 years to master to GCSE level, alongside Geometry. She then found a love for sports and slowed down with maths until year 6. She didn’t do any of the Beast Academy, Parallel or similar programs. I didn’t think it was necessary for a kid who started JMC in year 2 and eventually SMC in primary school anyway.

I never praised her for doing mental maths quickly because it is totally useless and encouraged kids to be lazy. She learnt to do maths by writing out explanation and proof. It was painfully slow at first but came in handy when she eventually qualified for various Olympiads over the last 5 years.

I don’t think she is naturally good at maths. Not to the level I was at that age anyway. She is not obsessed with maths as she plays her sport to a very high level. I guess she was lucky to be taught maths systematically so she didn’t have to learn unnecessary methods and topics.

Can you please elaborate more on "She learnt to do maths by writing out explanation and proof?" How did you do this?

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 10:03

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 10:01

Can you please elaborate more on "She learnt to do maths by writing out explanation and proof?" How did you do this?

"I guess she was lucky to be taught maths systematically so she didn’t have to learn unnecessary methods and topics".

I was wondering if you can tell me more about 'systematically' teaching? resources/approaches? and also, what would be your advice on unnecessary topics and methods?

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 12:56

@MTHRVRD2030

I dont believe I was specifically asked for my thoughts but after reading the responses some of which I agree with, it's triggered me into writing this.

Before I start can I just offer congratulations to all those who's DC's took the JMC, and some of the marks I've seen are remarkable from such young kids.

We're both STEM educated parents to Masters level (forgot most of it) with professional quals and one working parent. Our DD is an only child and now 12. Kids don't need expensive gadgets, a mass of toys, special food treats all the time, etc, what they need is parents time with engagement as this is what they value most.

The development of a child is incremental and occurs with exposure. Say if a kid travels a lot like ours generally did from a young age a few times a year they see more and experience different things. Talking to them a lot (gentle mentoring), things like managing expectations, how to be kind, how to be fair, always say please and thank you, if you work hard and are persistent you will be rewarded, etc is all very important. Looking back all these things were instilled on her at an early age....not necessarily by design, it was just the way we parent.

So when she started reception not much after the age of 4 the teachers loved her, you could tell there was genuine warmth. Among all the praise I always remember a comment "The great thing about her (DD) is she always wants to be the best that she can be, at everything".

At this stage I suppose some may ask "well what about the academics?" but that doesn't matter. I specifically remember when starting reception she was on oxford learning tree 1 and ended the year at 5. I remember doing the number pairs to 20 walking her to school in year 1. We werent doing anything extra at home at this time on reading or anything else. Instead the time was spent say developing soft skills (again not really planned by us) or things like persistence and resilience. Playing board games, cards, etc.

Academically, she progressed gradually until Covid hit and then we were at home, had free time, she knew some tables but completed then all towards the end of yr2, nothing really advanced by any means. By this time she was nearly 7. Then she started on the mathletes app and loved it, just did some ad lib almost every day at her leisure, more in holidays. By the end of year 8, say 2 years later she was a whizz, I think she was on level 8 on an app with levels 1-10 for ages 5-16. The school stopped subscribing to this and instead chose doodlemaths. In year 9 she toyed with it a bit and then from November- Feb in exactly 100 days answered 20k questions and finished the app. I always remember the day she finished, had an actual age of 9.69 and a doodlemaths age of 16.22. All off her own back.

Then it's about where do you go from there? GCSE yr 7 maybe is a realistic target, but then what? So we agreed to park it. Ever since she's just done her maths classwork and the bare minimum homework and nothing extra (apart from IMC prep this yr). Now she doesn't need to because it all happens quicker for her than her cohort, when she finishes 1st in class she gets 1/3 of the time left to advance vs most of the kids there. So even with no extra time spent on maths she's still progressing. It is a very efficient use of time.

On a macro scale it isnt all about the maths though, our DD is very confident and very able in a number of subjects and parking the maths has helped develop her in other areas. Like she'll happily stand up for 2 mins in front of 300-500 people and read and have no nerves whatsoever, to me it's a bit unnerving how much of an all rounder she is and how if she wants to be really good at something she can be, whatever it is.

She's now JMO'd as a Yr7 and Yr8 which I think are great achievements, but surpassing that is IMC Yr8. I kinda loosely ran the figures on this and I thought if there 500 qualifiers, 50 of those are international, 75% of them are boys and 85% are year 9 candidates, then how many Uk girls yr8 and below qualify for the Cayley IMO? A dozen? A score? 2 dozen? Mybe 30? I dont know, but it's that type of thing. For me, she doesnt need to try anymore at this, the time is better spend on other things.

I know a student who was pushed early academically well beyond her years at an age younger than our DD to an elite level in other areas. Everything looked well when she breezed the 11+ etc but now she's rebelling. This is because she hasn't got the toolkit, she's shy, awkward, insular, has trouble relating to other kids, etc.

In summary I firmly believe you have to first build the foundations of the child, mentor them well, get their heads in the right place, give them the toolkit, give them confidence. This is essential.

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 13:51

After writing all that, I just had a thought of one example that I can remember when my DD was around 4, she might even have been 3.

We went into a McDonalds, not something we do often, ordered a small amount as usual, maybe a cheeseburger for her and a wrap for me and we're sat there eating. Came to the end of it and we chatted about maybe sharing an ice cream. We don't normally have one and neither of us has a sweet tooth.

So we agreed. I said to her, here's £2, go up to the counter and ask for one. So she gets up, walks over, reaches the counter which is somewhere around head height for her, looks up to the person on the till and blurts out "Excuse me, can I please have a Mcflurry"....or similar. Well the server beams up with a massive smile, the 4 to 6 people waiting for their food all have smiles and are giggling, thinking who on hell is this and looking around wondering where the parent is. It was so funny, treated like a little celebrity.

So proudly she pays, gets her change, waits for the ice cream, glancing over to me every 10 seconds or so, then struts back towards me proud and smiling, knowing she's helped us both.

Instances like this are great, teaches kids life skills, empowers them, gives them confidence, etc. If we were for example in a restaurant at the same age and we came to ordering, we'd tell her what we wanted and she'd order for the table. She's been doing it ever since.

At times you have to kid them a bit, if in that instance or similar if she was reluctant I wouldn't cave in, because if i did she'd know I'd always cave in. I'd be creative and say something like "when I ordered i thought i was 7/10, lets see if you can do better" Then when she returned I'd say something like "I've lost, i think you got 10/10". If that approach didn't work I'd try something else.

Remember a 4 yr old is a 4 yr old, Build the child first.

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 14:56

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 12:56

@MTHRVRD2030

I dont believe I was specifically asked for my thoughts but after reading the responses some of which I agree with, it's triggered me into writing this.

Before I start can I just offer congratulations to all those who's DC's took the JMC, and some of the marks I've seen are remarkable from such young kids.

We're both STEM educated parents to Masters level (forgot most of it) with professional quals and one working parent. Our DD is an only child and now 12. Kids don't need expensive gadgets, a mass of toys, special food treats all the time, etc, what they need is parents time with engagement as this is what they value most.

The development of a child is incremental and occurs with exposure. Say if a kid travels a lot like ours generally did from a young age a few times a year they see more and experience different things. Talking to them a lot (gentle mentoring), things like managing expectations, how to be kind, how to be fair, always say please and thank you, if you work hard and are persistent you will be rewarded, etc is all very important. Looking back all these things were instilled on her at an early age....not necessarily by design, it was just the way we parent.

So when she started reception not much after the age of 4 the teachers loved her, you could tell there was genuine warmth. Among all the praise I always remember a comment "The great thing about her (DD) is she always wants to be the best that she can be, at everything".

At this stage I suppose some may ask "well what about the academics?" but that doesn't matter. I specifically remember when starting reception she was on oxford learning tree 1 and ended the year at 5. I remember doing the number pairs to 20 walking her to school in year 1. We werent doing anything extra at home at this time on reading or anything else. Instead the time was spent say developing soft skills (again not really planned by us) or things like persistence and resilience. Playing board games, cards, etc.

Academically, she progressed gradually until Covid hit and then we were at home, had free time, she knew some tables but completed then all towards the end of yr2, nothing really advanced by any means. By this time she was nearly 7. Then she started on the mathletes app and loved it, just did some ad lib almost every day at her leisure, more in holidays. By the end of year 8, say 2 years later she was a whizz, I think she was on level 8 on an app with levels 1-10 for ages 5-16. The school stopped subscribing to this and instead chose doodlemaths. In year 9 she toyed with it a bit and then from November- Feb in exactly 100 days answered 20k questions and finished the app. I always remember the day she finished, had an actual age of 9.69 and a doodlemaths age of 16.22. All off her own back.

Then it's about where do you go from there? GCSE yr 7 maybe is a realistic target, but then what? So we agreed to park it. Ever since she's just done her maths classwork and the bare minimum homework and nothing extra (apart from IMC prep this yr). Now she doesn't need to because it all happens quicker for her than her cohort, when she finishes 1st in class she gets 1/3 of the time left to advance vs most of the kids there. So even with no extra time spent on maths she's still progressing. It is a very efficient use of time.

On a macro scale it isnt all about the maths though, our DD is very confident and very able in a number of subjects and parking the maths has helped develop her in other areas. Like she'll happily stand up for 2 mins in front of 300-500 people and read and have no nerves whatsoever, to me it's a bit unnerving how much of an all rounder she is and how if she wants to be really good at something she can be, whatever it is.

She's now JMO'd as a Yr7 and Yr8 which I think are great achievements, but surpassing that is IMC Yr8. I kinda loosely ran the figures on this and I thought if there 500 qualifiers, 50 of those are international, 75% of them are boys and 85% are year 9 candidates, then how many Uk girls yr8 and below qualify for the Cayley IMO? A dozen? A score? 2 dozen? Mybe 30? I dont know, but it's that type of thing. For me, she doesnt need to try anymore at this, the time is better spend on other things.

I know a student who was pushed early academically well beyond her years at an age younger than our DD to an elite level in other areas. Everything looked well when she breezed the 11+ etc but now she's rebelling. This is because she hasn't got the toolkit, she's shy, awkward, insular, has trouble relating to other kids, etc.

In summary I firmly believe you have to first build the foundations of the child, mentor them well, get their heads in the right place, give them the toolkit, give them confidence. This is essential.

Thank you @Jonny234 for sharing your very deep and interesting insights. This has been extremely helpful for me.

Yes, I completely agree that travelling broadens a person immensely by exposing them to different cultures, environments, perspectives, and ways of thinking.
I was wondering what other experiences, apart from travelling, do you think can provide children or young people with similar kinds of growth and perspective?
For example, are there particular activities, communities, programmes, hobbies, or forms of exposure that you feel help develop openness, maturity, curiosity, adaptability, and a wider worldview in a similar way?

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 15:27

@MTHRVRD2030

Thank you for that. I just thought it best to write something as a 4 yr old is a lot more malleable and open to thinks that kids around JMC age. I just wanted to put a different prespective on things.

I've been in professional jobs and academically you have to be good enough to get through the door. For most people top 5%-10% is more than sufficient. But then in the job everything else comes into play, mainly soft skills, teamwork, how you speak to people, how you deal with difficult people, friendships, etc and this then determines how you succeed.

Travelling has been good, we go abroad twice a year mainly to spanish speaking countries. But it's not just that, we also do about 4 fri-mon weekends at holiday parks of our choice in the UK maybe within 2 hrs drive. Normally cheap, less than £200 for a caravan for the wkend with a central hub of food/ bar and entertainment. Time to practise swimming. If there is karaoke there she'll get up and sing. I remember the first time our DD was 5 and we'd never done it before....i never liked the idea....but then we had to in order to encourage her to, and now we all sing when the opportunity arises.

One thing I would suggest for all kids is LAMDA, 1 on 1 drama, it gives them confidence to perform, be on stage, public speaking, etc. Our DD started at 6 and is now very advanced (at UCAS pts stage). Alings well with school drama.

Really i think just encourage advancement in things they show interest in, whatever it is, don't flog them to death filling up their weekends and afterschool. If the school has clubs morning/ lunch/ afterschool that's easiest and best but if you see something local encourage them to be join.

MTHRVRD2030 · 14/05/2026 15:55

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 15:27

@MTHRVRD2030

Thank you for that. I just thought it best to write something as a 4 yr old is a lot more malleable and open to thinks that kids around JMC age. I just wanted to put a different prespective on things.

I've been in professional jobs and academically you have to be good enough to get through the door. For most people top 5%-10% is more than sufficient. But then in the job everything else comes into play, mainly soft skills, teamwork, how you speak to people, how you deal with difficult people, friendships, etc and this then determines how you succeed.

Travelling has been good, we go abroad twice a year mainly to spanish speaking countries. But it's not just that, we also do about 4 fri-mon weekends at holiday parks of our choice in the UK maybe within 2 hrs drive. Normally cheap, less than £200 for a caravan for the wkend with a central hub of food/ bar and entertainment. Time to practise swimming. If there is karaoke there she'll get up and sing. I remember the first time our DD was 5 and we'd never done it before....i never liked the idea....but then we had to in order to encourage her to, and now we all sing when the opportunity arises.

One thing I would suggest for all kids is LAMDA, 1 on 1 drama, it gives them confidence to perform, be on stage, public speaking, etc. Our DD started at 6 and is now very advanced (at UCAS pts stage). Alings well with school drama.

Really i think just encourage advancement in things they show interest in, whatever it is, don't flog them to death filling up their weekends and afterschool. If the school has clubs morning/ lunch/ afterschool that's easiest and best but if you see something local encourage them to be join.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful response. You are genuinely making me reflect more deeply on my overall parenting approach )).

I am currently a PhD student in Sociology and, on top of that, an international student, so travelling is quite difficult financially for us at the moment as it would need to be fully out of pocket. My 4-year-old DD currently attends an independent school pre-school, but I am seriously considering moving her to a very good local state primary for Reception so that I can invest more directly into her development and enrichment outside school. We have an offer from an excellent nearby school, so I hope everything works out well.

My DD has recently started tennis and piano and is genuinely enjoying both. I have also recently spoken with our local Stagecoach club, and she is due to start there in September.

I also have two older DC aged 18 and 13. With them, I mostly parented based on what I knew at the time (when I was younger/inexperienced) while focusing heavily on my own education and career. Thankfully, they are both doing well. My 18-year-old daughter has received an offer from a very good US university, and my 13-year-old son enjoys football, piano, and maths very much. However, he is somewhat shy/introverted, and my 4-year-old also seems naturally a bit reserved.
I have recently realised that, alongside academics and activities, I also need to become much more intentional about helping my children develop their soft skills, confidence, communication abilities, and social ease.

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 17:00

Thanks for the compliments. :)

You sound to be in a great place. I only thought you had the 4 yr old but your far more experienced than me and going off the progress of your DC's you seem to have nurtured them very well. You also come across as very conscientious.

If money is an issue I'd go good state primary and spend on extra curricular etc for her and your other kids. Holidays/ breaks don't have to be expensive and if you are open to new things allsorts can be found cheap. I often look here every wk or so to see what deals are around. https://www.hotukdeals.com/tag/travel

Sometimes things like Caravan/ Butlins breaks can be as cheap as £49 Monday to Friday.

For both the younger children from the info you give I'd agree you need to improve soft skills, far easier with a 4 yr old than a 13 yr old of course. Just try and be creative in thinking of ways you can achieve this.

One point I will make is what I call "projection" because I've seen it happen in the past time and time again with parents. There may be a scenario with a 50/50 situation where the kid is with a parent could do something to empower themselves. What happens is the parent interjects on the kids behalf thinking their helping (and managing anxiety/ stress) and stops them doing it. I think it's parents projecting their own fear onto the kids. Sooner or later the kid stops exploring their horizons because the parent is always there to create excuses for them. if it continues the situation just gets worse and worse. This is not good.

I personally have minor fear through various life experiences in certain situations, we all have, but what I have never done is project that to my DD thinking I'm helping her. Some of the things she's done I've been in awe of, I know that I couldn't have done the same at her age as she's achieved, but to her a lot of it is water off a ducks back. This doesn't happen overnight.

Travel Deals ➡️ Get Cheapest Price, Sales | hotukdeals

Latest Travel ➤ deals & offers - May 2026 ☑️ Get the best discounts, cheapest price for Travel and save money on hotukdeals.

https://www.hotukdeals.com/tag/travel

BananaDaiquiri · 15/05/2026 10:22

My daughter found out yesterday that she has made the Olympiad and is thrilled (she is Y8, last year she got gold and kangaroo).

In answer to the above question @MTHRVRD2030 - when she was at primary we did nothing. The school (a fantastic state primary but somewhere locally that people have historically seen as "less desirable" than a couple of other primers) teaches maths mastery (as does her secondary) and she did attend a Royal Institution 6 week primary maths masterclass thing via the primary school putting her forward for it. Other than that we let them get on with it.

Both of us do have maths / sciency backgrounds so I guess there is an aspect that it would be natural for our kids to also have some natural ability.

At secondary they do zero prep for UKMT, they do send them email them links to past papers if they want to try them in their spare time but certainly not expected. However, she does do Parallel Academy (was put forward for the entrance exam by her school early in Y7) and the homework for that each week usually includes a UKMT style question. I know there are others on this thread who have recommended Parallel and I would agree with that. You can only get into the Academy bit if your school proposes you, but the circles and Parallelograms are free and open to anyone. I would say she has never had any tutoring for any subject but maybe Parallel "counts" as tutoring (not sure)?

Jonny234 · 15/05/2026 12:27

@BananaDaiquiri

I wasnt gonna write anymore anytime soon after my recent ramblings but this made me think.

"Both of us do have maths / sciency backgrounds so I guess there is an aspect that it would be natural for our kids to also have some natural ability."

I do wonder about this, and have done in the past. Do the genes play a part that aptitude for STEM is passed down from parents to DCs, or is it that DCs at an early age are in an environment with their STEM educated parents that things are spoken about in the family and framed more from a STEM angle?

I never thought about this really, but my other half claims that because we're naturally inclined to speak more about numbers more the exposure to our DD has been higher.

I can kinda see her point. I think it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Be interested to see what others think.

nannyl · 15/05/2026 13:12

Jonny234 · 15/05/2026 12:27

@BananaDaiquiri

I wasnt gonna write anymore anytime soon after my recent ramblings but this made me think.

"Both of us do have maths / sciency backgrounds so I guess there is an aspect that it would be natural for our kids to also have some natural ability."

I do wonder about this, and have done in the past. Do the genes play a part that aptitude for STEM is passed down from parents to DCs, or is it that DCs at an early age are in an environment with their STEM educated parents that things are spoken about in the family and framed more from a STEM angle?

I never thought about this really, but my other half claims that because we're naturally inclined to speak more about numbers more the exposure to our DD has been higher.

I can kinda see her point. I think it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Be interested to see what others think.

I would assume genes play some role.

I have always excelled at Maths, as has my DH.
Both of us did well at Maths challenge when we were at school.

ALL of our parents (my childrens grand parents) are also talented at Maths, and their careers reflected this.

Even all 4 of my grandparents were good at maths and used maths (without calculators but with their brains) for their careers, and the 2 of DHs grandparents who I had met were also highly intelligent people who were well educated and im sure would have been pretty good at Maths. (I have no reason to believe the 2 i didnt meet were not academically able either)

My children have oxbridge educated parents, aunts / uncles and grandparents, and its fair to say DD1 also is aiming for Oxford.

Both of my children have got Gold / best in school / best in year for Maths challenge (at a top independant school, where they do not focus on or practise maths challenge) and got through to kangeroo. DD1 was 1 mark from olympiad.

Yes, they have both had a "rich childhood upbringing", but im sure their genes have helped too! Neither have had any extra private tuition or 11+ tuition etc. (but DD1, the only one who did 11+ sailed through hers with no tuition, but chose to stay at her current school, and declined her place in one of the best selective state schools around.... because her older sister was staying at their current school we didnt enter DD2 into the 11+ so cant comment on her performance as she didnt take it.)

BananaDaiquiri · 15/05/2026 14:22

Jonny234 · 15/05/2026 12:27

@BananaDaiquiri

I wasnt gonna write anymore anytime soon after my recent ramblings but this made me think.

"Both of us do have maths / sciency backgrounds so I guess there is an aspect that it would be natural for our kids to also have some natural ability."

I do wonder about this, and have done in the past. Do the genes play a part that aptitude for STEM is passed down from parents to DCs, or is it that DCs at an early age are in an environment with their STEM educated parents that things are spoken about in the family and framed more from a STEM angle?

I never thought about this really, but my other half claims that because we're naturally inclined to speak more about numbers more the exposure to our DD has been higher.

I can kinda see her point. I think it's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. Be interested to see what others think.

I think your genes do play a role in having some aptitude for certain things. Of course, hard work can help anyone improve, great teaching will have a massive impact etc etc, but I think some people are born with a stronger inherent ability in maths.
Same with many things. I think people who are champion sprinters have worked extremely hard to excel in their sport, and that their nutrition as well as their coaching and their attire has also helped. But I also think they were probably off to a head start (pardon the pun) from early childhood - that their genes have also played their part in their success.

MTHRVRD2030 · 15/05/2026 15:00

Jonny234 · 14/05/2026 17:00

Thanks for the compliments. :)

You sound to be in a great place. I only thought you had the 4 yr old but your far more experienced than me and going off the progress of your DC's you seem to have nurtured them very well. You also come across as very conscientious.

If money is an issue I'd go good state primary and spend on extra curricular etc for her and your other kids. Holidays/ breaks don't have to be expensive and if you are open to new things allsorts can be found cheap. I often look here every wk or so to see what deals are around. https://www.hotukdeals.com/tag/travel

Sometimes things like Caravan/ Butlins breaks can be as cheap as £49 Monday to Friday.

For both the younger children from the info you give I'd agree you need to improve soft skills, far easier with a 4 yr old than a 13 yr old of course. Just try and be creative in thinking of ways you can achieve this.

One point I will make is what I call "projection" because I've seen it happen in the past time and time again with parents. There may be a scenario with a 50/50 situation where the kid is with a parent could do something to empower themselves. What happens is the parent interjects on the kids behalf thinking their helping (and managing anxiety/ stress) and stops them doing it. I think it's parents projecting their own fear onto the kids. Sooner or later the kid stops exploring their horizons because the parent is always there to create excuses for them. if it continues the situation just gets worse and worse. This is not good.

I personally have minor fear through various life experiences in certain situations, we all have, but what I have never done is project that to my DD thinking I'm helping her. Some of the things she's done I've been in awe of, I know that I couldn't have done the same at her age as she's achieved, but to her a lot of it is water off a ducks back. This doesn't happen overnight.

@Jonny234 I liked the idea of Caravan/ Butlins breaks which are doable and financially manageable for us now. I will defo have a look at the website you shared!

MTHRVRD2030 · 15/05/2026 15:10

BananaDaiquiri · 15/05/2026 14:22

I think your genes do play a role in having some aptitude for certain things. Of course, hard work can help anyone improve, great teaching will have a massive impact etc etc, but I think some people are born with a stronger inherent ability in maths.
Same with many things. I think people who are champion sprinters have worked extremely hard to excel in their sport, and that their nutrition as well as their coaching and their attire has also helped. But I also think they were probably off to a head start (pardon the pun) from early childhood - that their genes have also played their part in their success.

@BananaDaiquiri I agree with you that genes certainly do play a role in children’s educational outcomes and overall development. However, even “good” genes may not lead to exceptional results if a child does not have strong teaching, a motivating environment, emotional support, opportunities, and at least some level of financial investment from parents. But in the context of UK " some level of financial investment" is very high that most average income households cant afford.
At the same time, I also believe that hard work, consistency, the right teacher, introduced at the right time can sometimes be just as powerful as natural ability.
Personally, I have seen children with no obvious “gifted” signs thrive enormously because they had disciplined habits, supportive parents, inspiring mentors, and an environment that nurtured curiosity and confidence over many years.

MTHRVRD2030 · 15/05/2026 15:19

nannyl · 15/05/2026 13:12

I would assume genes play some role.

I have always excelled at Maths, as has my DH.
Both of us did well at Maths challenge when we were at school.

ALL of our parents (my childrens grand parents) are also talented at Maths, and their careers reflected this.

Even all 4 of my grandparents were good at maths and used maths (without calculators but with their brains) for their careers, and the 2 of DHs grandparents who I had met were also highly intelligent people who were well educated and im sure would have been pretty good at Maths. (I have no reason to believe the 2 i didnt meet were not academically able either)

My children have oxbridge educated parents, aunts / uncles and grandparents, and its fair to say DD1 also is aiming for Oxford.

Both of my children have got Gold / best in school / best in year for Maths challenge (at a top independant school, where they do not focus on or practise maths challenge) and got through to kangeroo. DD1 was 1 mark from olympiad.

Yes, they have both had a "rich childhood upbringing", but im sure their genes have helped too! Neither have had any extra private tuition or 11+ tuition etc. (but DD1, the only one who did 11+ sailed through hers with no tuition, but chose to stay at her current school, and declined her place in one of the best selective state schools around.... because her older sister was staying at their current school we didnt enter DD2 into the 11+ so cant comment on her performance as she didnt take it.)

@nannyl - I found your comment below very interesting to reflect on, and it made me wonder whether, in the UK context, it is fairly typical for children from Oxbridge-educated families to also grow up aiming for Oxford or Cambridge themselves.

“My children have Oxbridge educated parents, aunts/uncles and grandparents, and it’s fair to say DD1 is also aiming for Oxford.”

I imagine that growing up around highly educated family members probably shapes children’s expectations, confidence, academic identity, and understanding of what is possible from quite an early age. It may also influence the kinds of conversations, habits, opportunities, and educational guidance children receive at home.
At the same time, I also wonder how much of this is due to environment and culture within the family rather than purely academic ability itself.

BananaDaiquiri · 15/05/2026 16:22

MTHRVRD2030 · 15/05/2026 15:10

@BananaDaiquiri I agree with you that genes certainly do play a role in children’s educational outcomes and overall development. However, even “good” genes may not lead to exceptional results if a child does not have strong teaching, a motivating environment, emotional support, opportunities, and at least some level of financial investment from parents. But in the context of UK " some level of financial investment" is very high that most average income households cant afford.
At the same time, I also believe that hard work, consistency, the right teacher, introduced at the right time can sometimes be just as powerful as natural ability.
Personally, I have seen children with no obvious “gifted” signs thrive enormously because they had disciplined habits, supportive parents, inspiring mentors, and an environment that nurtured curiosity and confidence over many years.

Well yes, using my example of the sprinter: the right genes but also excellent coaching, the latest tech in shoes / clothing, an amazing work ethic and desire to really push themselves. I also agree that the "right teacher, hard work and consistency are very powerful" (as I mentioned in my post answering your question: we haven't really done anything to foster our child's ability in maths, but I believe she had excellent teaching at her state primary).

I'm interested in your comment about the level of financial investment required though. In the context of sport, financial input and supportive parents will be needed in most cases, due to the level of training needed. I don't think you can become the next prima ballerina without a combination of natural ability and great coaching, and probably you're going to have needed parent(s) running you around to different dance classes and paying a lot for those classes (because this is quite a specialist thing). However going back to maths, I'm sure plenty of people go on to do a maths degree and maths related careers having gone to state school, so I'm not convinced that significant financial investment is necessary for decent academic achievement.

Jonny234 · 15/05/2026 18:12

@nannyl

I agree with that. Wow you are in a family with an educational CV behind them. Mine was nothing like that, I was smart but at a poor northern (11-16) comp which closed 2 years after I left, and messed around as much as I could get away with. I failed 7/9 GCSE's.

I needed to start working hard, and quick.

Re sat 4 GCSE's at a local 6th form and passed. Then started A levels and half way through the 6th form closed down so was bumped to a college. But 3 yrs after the GCSE failure I was taking Maths at a top 30-50 QS rated redbrick Uni.

I was the first person in our family to go to Uni. I wont claim it was an easy ride by any means.

What you wrote leads me onto another one of my hypothesis that I've often wondered about. When high achieving kids grow up in smart households and the parents know the full educational system it raises expectations, I call it "normalised exceptionalism"....exceptional for most households, normalised in the environment they are in.

Jonny234 · 15/05/2026 18:29

@BananaDaiquiri

"However going back to maths, I'm sure plenty of people go on to do a maths degree and maths related careers having gone to state school, so I'm not convinced that significant financial investment is necessary for decent academic achievement."

True, but in context it's a prevalence test. I mentioned my pathway, and in fact i did take maths, it wasn't impossible, but in my environment it was very rare. A grammar or private school, even though the effort isnt directed wholly towards maths would have had far more kids doing maths or STEM at Uni.