Detentions as a punishment

[SweatyLama]

I didn't grow up in the UK, but my children were born here. This year, my DS started secondary school for the first time, and I discovered that they have a system of punishments in place. Is this a common practice in all state schools in Britain? I really don't like this system ( I mean punishments) and find it degrading and outdated.

@SweatyLama you are infor a rough ride as are your children as you appear to not agree with consequences for unacceptable behaviour.

I and sure your school clearly sets out rh rules and punishment for breaking the same.

Being late is disrespectful to their friends and teachers. In the real world they would be fired.

It sounds like you actually have never considered discipline. It is quite possible to go through the school system without penalty if they obey the rules. Eldest managed it and junior is following in his footsteps.

My child is very sensitive, and this system of punishments makes him anxious. He has ADHD, and when he gets nervous, his attention worsens even more. In the past four weeks, he’s received three tardies, even though he got to school on time; he just couldn’t find the registration. He lost one homework assignment and forgot another at home. What he really needs is support, not punishment. Even if he didn’t have ADHD, the issue would still be the same. These punishments don’t work if a child isn’t afraid of them, and instead of helping, they just cause more anxiety for those who are already scared of punishment.

"Tardies"?

Which country are you from?

A person's being late has nothing to do with respect for the people he was late for. According to your logic, a person who was late for a plane does not respect the pilot and passengers of the plane who flew away without him )))

tardiness? Is it correct?

No, it's American.

We would say 'late'.

"Perhaps you would like poor behaviour to be ignored instead."
Nope. But I consider it does not work the way many people expect to

Parents don't generally consider that teachers in schools have way, way more experience of dealing with bad behaviour than they do.

He lost one homework assignment and forgot another at home. What he really needs is support, not punishment
You can provide that support by helping him pack his bag the night before, so he doesn't forget his homework. One of mine needed a lot of support with organisation when she started secondary school, so I provided it as long as she needed.

You haven’t experienced the teenage years yet. You may well change your mind. My DS was pretty easy going through his teens but there were times when I would have loved it if he had had a detention.
After school detentions are often an inconvenience to parents if it means children miss their bus or it disrupts pick up and after school activities. It is a deliberate act so that the parents engage with the discipline.

High school is where children become teenagers and hormones, distractions and everything else can get out of control if tough measures aren't enforced. DS is starting next year and the school is known to be very strict and hand out detentions even for forgetting a ruler. My DS is not disruptive but he is forgetful and I think this will teach him to wake up and learn a sense of responsibility. It's preparing for the real world. Primary of course is very different by nature as more nurturing but they need more discipline in high school.

I don't think so.
Teachers do this because it's easy and they have been doing this but it doesn’t work. Pedagogy has ways to influence behavior without using pressure. Society has simply gotten used to treating children with contempt and distrust. I mentioned an example from my school where we weren’t punished for being late, yet as adults, we try to avoid being late for work. So why punish children? Is it to show that adults are not equal to them and can exercise power over them?

I do it, but I can't do when he is at school.

On the contrary, my school decided to adopt a method where there were very few sanctions and the focus was on conversations with the children to try to persuade them that behaving appropriately was both better for them, and better for everyone.

Behaviour went through the floor. Classes were massively disrupted as teachers pandered to disruptive students. Kids couldn't learn effectively. Teachers quit the school as behaviour was appalling.

It was horrible. I have never been so close to quitting teaching.

We reintroduced sanctions for poor behaviour and behaviour improved.

Kids need firm boundaries.

How can the teachers support him to not leave homework at home though? You said you are already helping him at home but he still left his homework at home. What do you want them to do to support him to remember it?

Detentions are normal. I don’t agree with the way that they are handed out these days for forgetting a ruler or not having glue in your pencil case. But there has to be some level of discipline (or “punishment” as you put it). I think detentions should be used for extreme cases, and it should also be an opportunity To get to the root cause - as you end up with pupils that are always in detention with zero sign of improvement.

Yes, all people need boundaries. But people respect it because it comfortable, not because violation followed by punishment.

That makes no sense.

Look at speed limits.

I didn't know that he needed to bring his homework on the special day (he forgot to write on his diary at school). Another one he lost the worksheet at school and I didn't know he had it.

It’s important because if the answer is wrong and there are no workings shown, the answer gets 0 marks.

If all the working shows the method is correct, but - for example - if there’s a simple arithmetical error near the end, his answer might get almost full marks.

The older your son gets, the more complicated his Maths questions will be. If the answer is wrong he and his teacher will be able to look back over his solution and see where the mistake was.
It could be that he didn’t understand how to do it (important, and needs further work) or just made a mistake in a calculation somewhere in his solution.

Often at secondary school the answers are given at the back of the book/online, or certainly used to be until recently, so it means he can check his work himself if he doesn’t get that answer, to see where he might have made a mistake.

The ability to check your own work (whether or not you got the correct answer) is a very useful skill, in life not just in Maths. Even if the numerical answer is correct there might be an alternative, shorter, way to solve the problem which is worth considering.

It's a good example. People who doesn't respect the rules, violate the limit everywhere, except for places where there are cameras. That is, punishments do not work, except for places where there is a camera. But if you create conditions when it is not possible to drive fast, everyone respects the limit. (Speed hump, for ex). I think that adults themselves teach children the system that you should not follow the rules for convenience, but only to avoid punishment.

But he is in primary school, and his work is easy. I had the same problems with my DS. But teachers didn't care about it (but not me). I tried to correct it .
The problem was solved easily. When the tasks became more difficult, DS began to write down how he solved them.
It's boring to show working simple problems and the child will start to hate math for it. I am sure you would not like it.

If there isn't any punishment then some kids don't respect the rules at all.

You don't appear to have ever been in a classroom.

@SweatyLama “It's boring to show working simple problems and the child will start to hate math for it. I am sure you would not like it.”

I’ve always had to show my working(s). I remember doing so in primary school, even though I found Maths easy. Showing a clear method is part of the pleasure.

It’s not just the destination but also the journey.