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Secondary education

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Original poster

how common are detentions at secondary?

257 replies

Cocostardust · 18/09/2024 19:04

I know this sounds like a bit of a how long is a piece of string question but I just want a vague idea of how this works.

my daughter has just started at Secondary school. She’s a really well behaved girl, genuinely very sweet and never been in any trouble.

they had a 2 week grace period where they didn’t get detention then on 16th (the day they started) she came home with one straight away. It was for misunderstanding her homework and doing it slightly wrong. She’d spent an hour of the allotted ‘10 minutes’ on it and tried so bloody hard. She was in floods of tears when she came home.

tuesday her friend got one for helping another year 7 yo class who’d got lost then today her best friend got one for forgetting to put her name on her homework. They made her stay and redo the homework even though it had already been done, she ended up not having time to have lunch so went the day without eating, is this normal for schools?

The reason I’m writing is firstly this all seems crazy to me. Of course the schools should be allowed to discipline the children but for forgetting to put their name on the sheet and misunderstanding something?? Surely the teachers should be having a quick chat with the children so they can explain themselves but they’re just handing out detentions like they’re sweets with a total disregard to how much this is affecting the children.

The meaning of detention has clearly changed a lot in 30 years and while I can accept that it doesn’t mean I can force my daughter to.

she has a nervous tic which over the past week has gone through the roof, we were at the point where she had almost got rid of it. She’s also struggling with the insane amount of homework they’re all getting.

as I said I understand they have to be disciplined but shouldn’t that be for when they’ve genuinely done something wrong? It feels like the school don’t give a damn about the kids and how they’re coping.

on a side note they went from outstanding to required improvement over the summer and part of me is wondering if it’s always been like this or if they’ve been told to crack down.

curious about what other think

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Sirzy · 18/09/2024 19:06

Bonkers on all examples.

DS school rarely give detentions and only if they are properly warranted.

Creepybookworm · 18/09/2024 19:09

I was going to say very common. I have started work in a secondary this term and I thought it was strict and detention-happy but then I read what your child's school is giving them out for. Seems harsh to me. I think schools start out ultra strict to instil good behavior from the outset. Your school, however, seems to be trying to trip kids up.

FawnFrenchieMum · 18/09/2024 19:09

Do they not have a documented behaviour policy? It’s unusual these days not to?

It doesn’t make the reasons any better but at least the kids know what to expect.

‘Negative’ comments are given out for ridiculous things at our school, but you need three of those before you get a detention.

TickingAlongNicely · 18/09/2024 19:11

There's a two strike rule for not handing in homework... but attempting and getting it wrong is not a strike. Those sort of things would be behaviour points, which can add to detentions (nut not sure how many!)

Moonshiners · 18/09/2024 19:11

God this is the sort of thing I hate about schools. It would make me rebel.
My 3 older teens have had about 5 detentions in about 15 years worth of school and college between them. Your DDs school sounds mental.

90yomakeuproom · 18/09/2024 19:13

When I was at school detentions were on a Friday night and were for the most serious offences like skipping lessons or graffiti or vandalism to property. I never had one. I've heard similar things to you though recently so it must be a thing but I don't like it.

Iloveagoodnap · 18/09/2024 19:14

My eldest got them every now and again for being late which I was on board with as I was sick of having to hurry him along every morning. Occasionally for not doing homework but never for doing it wrong, which he probably did do every now and again as he has slight learning difficulties.

My younger son is still at school but has only had a handful in four years, generally for being silly and not getting on with his work when he was in the first couple of years.

Your school sounds totally over the top. Also not very fair for them to miss lunch. My sons' school always gave half hour detentions at the end of the day.

Kitkat1523 · 18/09/2024 19:15

My DD never had one in the 5 years she was there…..certainly wasn’t an outstanding student
my 2 DSs both had them…..but for behaviour issues not the minor things you have described

Seedseason · 18/09/2024 19:15

Seema over the too, but some schools are going thay way at the moment. I would get in touch with the tutor and ask for the behaviour and sanctions policy to be shared and clarified

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 19:17

If you want meaningful feedback on homework (or even just marked) then it needs to have the child's name on it.

WappityWabbit · 18/09/2024 19:19

I'd change schools as those reasons for giving a detention are completely ridiculous. It doesn't sound like a nurturing environment at all. 😳

DS's secondary school give them out for not doing any homework at all without a good reason but you wouldn't get a detention for not understanding it and getting it wrong, assuming you'd had a go at completing it.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 18/09/2024 19:20

Some schools have gone very hardline on discipline these days in an incredibly petty and counterproductive way, and it sounds like yours might be one of them. I'm a teacher and I think it's insane. I'm all in favour of zero tolerance policies when it comes to actual genuine bad behaviour - deliberate disruption of lessins, bullying, racist behaviour, vandalism etc. Misunderstanding your homework is not bad behaviourHmm.

barelyfunctional · 18/09/2024 19:21

My son had just one last year for not doing his homework, after being given a second chance to hand it in. He’s told me that some people get loads though!

Curryinahurry24 · 18/09/2024 19:26

My daughter received one on Monday for forgetting to remove her earrings for PE. I get the health and safety reasons, but she was told when leaving the changing rooms, and removed them straight away. She went to the detention today, to be told she was late for it, so would have to do it tomorrow. The school is big, and the sports hall is quite far from where she was. I do think some teachers are on a power trip. My DD is Y9 and has never had any issues whatsoever apart from this particular PE teacher.

GrammarTeacher · 18/09/2024 19:32

Been teaching over 20 years. This is ridiculous.

Original poster
Cocostardust · 18/09/2024 19:41

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 19:17

If you want meaningful feedback on homework (or even just marked) then it needs to have the child's name on it.

@FrippEnos so you would just instantly give a year 7 who’s clearly made an effort and been at the school for 2 weeks detention because they made an innocent mistake rather than hold off until the next day and simply ask who’s it is? Or simply use common sense and realise that the child you’ve sent to detention might happen to be the one who’s forgotten to put their name on the homework?? They’re 11 years old… they’re going to make minor mistakes. They shouldn’t be punished for them. Some people shouldn’t be working with children.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocostardust · 18/09/2024 19:44

Thanks everyone it’s reassuring I’m not going crazy and to know that this isn’t how it’s meant to be as this doesn’t feel right at all, it actually feels quite cruel. I’m just worried it’s going to stay like this as I can’t see her stressed like this for 5 years, I’ll have to have a think how to approach it god knows where to start.

great suggestions with the behavioural policy I’ll get hold of that tomorrow.

Thanks for your input.

OP posts:
ShoopShoopShoopShoop · 18/09/2024 19:47

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 19:17

If you want meaningful feedback on homework (or even just marked) then it needs to have the child's name on it.

Yes, but a warning/sanction is enough.

A detention? For misunderstanding homework, but still handed something in? Crazy.

What do they do when kids are doing things like telling the same teacher to fuck off? Or if the homework isn't even done?

Sirzy · 18/09/2024 19:53

The behaviour policy should be in their website

Sirzy · 18/09/2024 19:54

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 19:17

If you want meaningful feedback on homework (or even just marked) then it needs to have the child's name on it.

Or the teacher could mark it and then at the start of the next lesson say “who does this belong to? Someone forgot to put their name on”

cantthinkofausername26 · 18/09/2024 20:00

Cocostardust · 18/09/2024 19:04

I know this sounds like a bit of a how long is a piece of string question but I just want a vague idea of how this works.

my daughter has just started at Secondary school. She’s a really well behaved girl, genuinely very sweet and never been in any trouble.

they had a 2 week grace period where they didn’t get detention then on 16th (the day they started) she came home with one straight away. It was for misunderstanding her homework and doing it slightly wrong. She’d spent an hour of the allotted ‘10 minutes’ on it and tried so bloody hard. She was in floods of tears when she came home.

tuesday her friend got one for helping another year 7 yo class who’d got lost then today her best friend got one for forgetting to put her name on her homework. They made her stay and redo the homework even though it had already been done, she ended up not having time to have lunch so went the day without eating, is this normal for schools?

The reason I’m writing is firstly this all seems crazy to me. Of course the schools should be allowed to discipline the children but for forgetting to put their name on the sheet and misunderstanding something?? Surely the teachers should be having a quick chat with the children so they can explain themselves but they’re just handing out detentions like they’re sweets with a total disregard to how much this is affecting the children.

The meaning of detention has clearly changed a lot in 30 years and while I can accept that it doesn’t mean I can force my daughter to.

she has a nervous tic which over the past week has gone through the roof, we were at the point where she had almost got rid of it. She’s also struggling with the insane amount of homework they’re all getting.

as I said I understand they have to be disciplined but shouldn’t that be for when they’ve genuinely done something wrong? It feels like the school don’t give a damn about the kids and how they’re coping.

on a side note they went from outstanding to required improvement over the summer and part of me is wondering if it’s always been like this or if they’ve been told to crack down.

curious about what other think

That's ridiculous! I'm a teacher. - for context I've only given out detentions about 4 times in 2 years!! Last resort imo

Diggby · 18/09/2024 20:00

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 19:17

If you want meaningful feedback on homework (or even just marked) then it needs to have the child's name on it.

If you want to give a detention to the child who didn't write their name you already know whose work it is.

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 18/09/2024 20:02

On seeing your thread title I was going to answer........ well "how long is a piece of string?" (so Im amused that, that was your first comment!)

When I was at secondary school I dont recall anyone ever having a detention tbh. There was a system called "minus 1s" - if you got lots of those you went on report.
I was there four years and never got any minus 1s at all - I was so proud of my goodytwoshoes reputation (and yet I somehow wasnt chosen to be a prefect which stung!)

So at some schools none/few, at others they are a regular thing. What you've described op sound ridiculous and totally OTT.

FrippEnos · 18/09/2024 20:05

Cocostardust and others.

I wouldn't give it out for misunderstanding homework and handing it in named.
I have given detentions for not putting names on work because trying to find out whose homework it is is time consuming and a waste of lesson time.

Those that genuinely forgot didn't forget again.
And I will also point out that I always, always said put your name on it as I asked for it to be handed in.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 18/09/2024 20:07

This sounds bloody ridiculous. Sounds like if they breathe in the wrong direction they’d get a detention.
My dd got one for not doing her homework, her fault completely. She completed it before the detention and apologised to her teacher so didn’t need to do it. The reasons you’ve given are down right ridiculous. These kids will end up hating school and rebelling more, it’s counterproductive 🤦🏽‍♀️