Y11 2023-24 continued

[Techno56]

New thread for when the other one fills up, I need somewhere to panic away from my son 😁

Thank you - I think that’s the approach we need to take, hope it’s not too late!

So glad I've just found this thread.

My dd has been brilliant with the run up to exams but has been visibly nervous about them for months now. She's so nervous now that she started to be sick before leaving for school in the morning. Her first exam is on Thursday so I'm going to take her into school, I dread to think the state she's going to be here next week.

I've spoken to School about this and they've been brilliant. They've given her a mentor and lots of support is in place but bar giving her diazepam (joke), I'm not sure it will make much difference

I’m hoping they will feel better once exams are underway.

The slt haven’t even replied to my letter about the reasons for asking for dispensation for dd and study leave (mh reasons plus she has got all 9s in mocks so clearly works). So I will be taking her out regardless. She’s going to sign out after each exam and if any problems I will go and get her .

they’ve not even been given their revised timetable for the exam period, while the school bangs on about the need for a revision timetable. DD has one - it’s the school who are chaotic!

Could she try something like Kalms @WoodBurningStov ? Perhaps speak to a pharmacist.

DS had his first GCSE yesterday - said it went okay, not brilliant, but not awful. He's just glad it's over. It was the one he was least looking forward to as it's MFL Speaking, so one to one with the teacher.

He has finally realised that he has just 7 days until the next exam and has decided to start revising - tomorrow 🙄

@WoodBurningStov that's really hard. DD1 had awful exam anxiety for her A levels, her GCSEs were the first COVID year. We used the calm app for visualisations to help her to sleep. She was vomiting at five in the morning before the first exam and then once the first one was done she was actually better and focused on just getting through. You have my sympathy.

Finally catching up with the thread, on sleep less night. DD is very anxious now, out of nowhere. Worried about her writing speed, always been, but also- “ I am fine” and “I do that” whenever I suggest something.
I don’t even know what to suggest now, yesterday she started crying when I asked what is she going to do about her writing speed :(
In a selective grammar now, and no predicted grades, they were still covering biology topics last week.
She was so worried about MFL speaking, that went okay on Monday, now to the rest of it.
i am not putting any pressure, but I can see she is worried, no idea how to help now. She works hard, and usually don’t need any prep talk from me 😒 Her school is so laid back, only had one mocks, but kids push each other a lot, I think most GS does this.
any ideas to improve writing speed would be really appreciated xx

@Newlease No suggestions on writing speed, however:
. She must keep an eye on the time to ensure she moves on to later questions as needed. Much easier to get half marks on every question than full marks on half the questions.
. Bullet points of key info if running out of time
. English language is tight for time for everyone. She needs to only write stuff that is gaining marks, and not for example write 8 paragraphs for a 4 mark question.

A very subdued DD here too ... the pressure is absolutely building. I really feel for them. And they are just so tired aren't they?.

Not helped by my parents harping on with "we've all been there. Does them good to learn how to handle pressure" type of comments.

Thanks mum, not helpful

In a weeks time, we will be in biology. DS is a bit low generally, 3 days off school, and a GA hasn't helped. He's gone back this morning a bit glum.

@TeenDivided thank you, I will say this in few days time. I think I stirred enough yesterday ( didn’t mean to but she kept on going on about how other people can write 6 pages when she only does 2. I only asked her what is she going to do about it.
@tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz ha, I understand completely. It’s my husband who says it, they will learn from this experience( not to her, but to me when alone). Thats not helpful and worries me more. I want to help her through this not stand back to for her to realise later on.
To be honest I am happy with whatever grade she gets, for the fact that she works hard and try to achieve the best matters ( for me).
can’t wait for this to be over 😫

Going to catch up on thread now but just a reminder - they need clear water bottles and clear pencil case (assume it's same rule everywhere) in case anyone needs to add those to their shopping list/mental load!

Absolutely. I mean, there are so many opportunities in life to get through tough times, survive and increase resilience so yes I get what they are trying to say. But I know if I was struggling (and I know I'll get through it) and people around me were on stand by with little gestures to make life a bit easier, gave me 10 minutes of their time now and then to bounce ideas off and hugs whenever I felt wobbly it could only help. And I'm almost 50 with the benefit of many years hindsight!

I know Sink or Swim is important but there needs to be balance and when they are doing all they can and working hard, it seems cruel to leave them to flounder at 15/16 just because "resilience " because if that little bit of support was what could have helped them pass I'd feel quite shitty tbh

Or am I just a soft touch?!!!

Sink or Swim only works if you end up swimming.
If you Sink it hasn't helped at all.

At GCSE age they need emotional and practical support.

Also, make sure your DC knows what the system is for phones. If you have a forgetful kid, would it be better for them not to take their phone to school at all if there is a risk they will accidentally take it into the exam room? Every year there are MN posts where their child has had it on their person ...

In our experience once the exams have started the DCs generally feel a bit calmer. It's the run up that's absolutely brutal.

I've been driving mine around all term so he can wake up more slowly in the morning and get home earlier in the afternoon (so more likely to do some productive revision in the evening) ...I'm knackered 😬 might have to make him get the bus next week and have a rest before they start properly on Friday...

@tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz
DH keeps telling me I molly coddle ds (he's an only and I probably do!)

I don't think at 15 looking after them physically and mentally is wrong.

I plan to make him porridge every day during his exams. (He normally takes a pain au chocolat in his pocket)

I have stopped nagging about his room, and I do put his washing away (clean, I ain't picking up anyone's dirty pants)

Just little things which make life easier for him, but don't make my day more difficult

I invigilate and I've noticed this ... almost like once they are in the thick of it they just go with it

Ahh glad it's not just me! Going to make up for it and after a week of letting her be a lazy bugger once they finish I'll crack the whip again

gingercat02

God no, this is THE point for little kindnesses and laxities, IMO! They're not stupid, they won't think 'ah, mum's letting me get away with murder, I'll do what I like'. But if it's possible to ease their way through this, then for me it's a no-brainer. So nice food and snacks he wants to eat (my own DS has a worrying tendency to go off food altogether when he's stressed. He doesn't do sports at all and has not got what we could call an 'athletic build' so maybe his metabolism doesn't require constant fuel, but his brain certainly does! A worry). Lifts to 9am exams if possible, rather than rely on the bus which can sometimes run late (and also I imagine it's going to be no place for quiet gathering of resources as the exam stress kicks in). Letting him watch his choice on tv if he's done his day's revision. I've got the odd small treat stashed away (a dice tray for D&D, that sort of thing) to randomly pepper the days with. It's a long, long haul, even with the half term 'break' in the middle, and they need to sustain this push for a lot longer than their mocks ever were.

Need advice, Dd has to go under anaesthetic for a minor procedure which needs to be done. They have given her may 7th and exams start on may 9th. Will it be fine? At the pre-op they told us she would be as normal by that evening

I think I was fine by then when I had Ga but she might be tired, can you move it, it’s only 6 weeks ?

I’ve started buying dd a piece of cake while I’m out and about on many days! I already mollycoddle, I make her porridge and packed lunch each morning and lay out all her breakfast things. I wfh so it seems fair since she’s racing out the house each morning. Mind you she works hard so I wouldn’t do if not . I gave up nagging her about her room months ago although she will definitely be cleaning and tidying it post exams!!

Can I join in here. We have been ok so far but now DD is getting stressy. French speaking today and art earlier in the week. Compared to her elder brother she has involved us far less and so I dont really know how to help. Shes predicted great grades.

DS had a GA for dental surgery on Tuesday and only went back to school today. He isn't in much pain and is well medicated, but he wasn't up for much on Wednesday. He did a bit of revision yesterday but still wasn't at full par.