Support thread for parents of Y11 GCSE kids with SEN - no judgement just lots of handholding!

[yawnanotherone]

From another thread, it seems that there are quite a few of us who have to approach this revision period a bit differently! I'd love to share what is and isn't working and just have somewhere we can offload any stresses in the coming weeks. I have a DS with ASD and ADD who is trying his best, but struggling with the amount of content to get through.

Two weeks to go for us here. I feel totally burned out by it all to be honest. I'll probably be ill after never mind the kids!

Will be really so glad when it's over, been such hard work. DS has gone into every exam and hasn't seemed stressed at all but little revision done and all study books I bought unread. Luckily school has revision sessions in all lessons between exams so he may have picked up something there. He had a few tutor in maths and English sessions in the weeks before the exam. He does have a conditional place at 6th form but highly unlikely to get the grades and thankfully a place on a level 3 at college with the options of level 2 and 1 if needed.

The finish line is on the horizon! Two more exams left for DS on Friday. Hoo-freaking-ray!! I don't know about you, but I am exhausted.

We have the last 2 on Friday too.

My DD has been phenomenonal. She's suffered with EBSA over years 10 and 11 and actually being able to sit the exams was in real doubt.

She's made it into school for every exam and given it a go. Whatever the results her achievement of being able to overcome her anxiety and try her best is what counts the most for us.

There's been drama and tears and mornings where I really didn't think I'd be able to get her to go in, but now we are almost done. Thank goodness.

Well DD is in for her last 2 exams and her last ever day of school.

Her mood is all over the place. She has hated school but she also hates any changes to what she knows. She must have so many mixed emotions that she doesn't know how to process.

Hopefully things will settle down after today.

Good luck for the final push to any others who are nearly at the end.

@Lindy2 That's a huge win for your DD that she went in every time.

Today is a weird day, my DS is finishing (and leaving his specialist school) and who knows what's next. It is a rollercoaster but you can be guaranteed that all SEN parents will be feeling a very mixed set of emotions today.

Good luck to everyone - last one starting in 15 minutes!

My daughter didn't make it in for most of her exams. Have Doctors note but it's hard.

Hi, so the GCSEs are finished, just wondering how everyone is getting on now. My DS saw some friends last week for a few hours but other than that has been sleeping in (unknown for him) and lying in his room all day. I'm giving him a bit of time to rest and relax but a little bit worried that he's isolating himself, think he is too shy/awkward to suggest meeting up with anyone. I suggested a job to get him out of the house and to have a structure/meet some new people but he's not interested as he makes quite a bit of money designing things online so doesn't see the point. He has been playing with his younger siblings in our garden and football on our street so isn't completely isolated. Maybe I should just let him chill and relax after all of those exams, still recovering from it myself, was hard work.

Same here @Yellowflowers7 and I've decided to let DS do what he has to do to decompress after it all. It sounds like your DS is in good form which is the main thing, he's doing what he enjoys (and making money!) so now it's your turn to recover!

Sorry to hear @coffeandteav I hope she's able to unwind from all the stress now too

Thanks she is better out of school and has had a few friends over. The boyfriend is here every day. So at least she isn't alone but then I worry its too co dependent. We can't win can we?

We really can’t can we! The GCSEs were very challenging for us parents, it was hard to see all the well rounded high achiever kids plough though their exams, DS pretended to revise but I know he wasn’t, his ADHD meant that he couldn’t sit still for long and his autism caused other issues for him. I am so glad they are over, it would be great if he gets a few passes to get to college but even if he doesn’t we will find a way. He’s not wanting to see anyone from school, I think he wants to draw a line under it and have a new start.

@Ratbag7 DS has always been like that too - finishes something and has zero sentimentality, on to the next thing! He won't go to any end of year celebrations either, line drawn and that's it. I wish I could be more like that sometimes!

My DS said he would go to the prom @yawnanotherone but now it backing out - ticket cost short of £50 quid too 🙈 He might enjoy it when he’s there but don’t want to buy him a suit if he pulls out - and he won’t need a suit if he’s not going to sixth form anyway.

Ds2 has been mainly superglued to the computer since exams finished although he has agreed to come with me to the asc session at flip out once a week so we did that yesterday.
I didn't time my age gaps very well so I've got 3 dc changing placements this September and I've got meetings and forms coming out of my ears. Plus 2 dc at home because they have finished school and college. Feel like I haven't had an uninterrupted conversation with dh for ages.

Exam results day has creeped up on me, it's next week! Can't say I'm looking forward to it.

Not thinking about it too much and DC are looking forward to a party, so I’m pleased their mind is occupied. I have no idea what to expect, won’t be shocked with either good or bad results!

Hi everyone. I'm trying not to think too much about results day. DD has admitted she's pretty sure she's bombed out completed. She's asd and very likely ADHD. She just couldn't revise effectively and had such a rough 6 months prior to sitting them. There's nothing any of us can do now but support them on the day and encourage them to keep their chin up if the results are really grim. I'm kind of dreading the well meaning questions from others about how she's done. Some people just don't get it do they?

@Theordinary 'we are very proud, she has done enough to get onto her level 1 course.

@TeenDivided thats what I need to say. There are so many around us who are very focused on academic achievements. All I want is for her mental health to get better at this point.

Agree, will probably say 'he got into college which is what he wanted to do' and leave it at that...

My DD has ASD and we are waiting for results... she will have done well I think - am sure it won't be as good as she wants as she has the highest standards for herself!!

My son who has adhd failed nearly everything, he scrapped maths and English so no resits, and 2 years later is in a totally different place.. he's working, in a steady relationship and happy.

It has been a rocky road but we have got there. Results day was so hard and so few people understand what it's like but really only your child matters- don't think about the others, focus on yourselves.

Exams do not define yourself- only you do that!

My DS has ADHD and I'm getting nervous re next Thursday - every time I start worrying in advance about it all I give myself a big head wobble and tell myself that even if he fails everything in the grand scheme of things it's ok - he's here he's healthy and we love him to pieces - there's s lot of parents out there who would like their teenagers to still be around.

Wise words from both of you, thank you x

Best wishes to you all for Thursday.

My DD, see page 1, is waiting on L2 FS English, result not expected until end Sept/early Oct. She's passed the speaking and reading, this bit is writing.

My strategy is if she passes I'll propose not to resit the GCSE again, as she will have the level 2 qualification. Whereas if she fails I'll propose not to resit the GCSE again as if she can't pass FS she won't have a hope at the GCSE! Either way to concentrate on maths.