Support thread for parents of Y11 GCSE kids with SEN - no judgement just lots of handholding!

[yawnanotherone]

From another thread, it seems that there are quite a few of us who have to approach this revision period a bit differently! I'd love to share what is and isn't working and just have somewhere we can offload any stresses in the coming weeks. I have a DS with ASD and ADD who is trying his best, but struggling with the amount of content to get through.

So my two daughters have been in close contact with classmates who have developed the vomiting bug. DS is in exam now but am really panicking about if he gets it. He has English Lit on Monday. Feel physically sick myself with worry.

Oh dear @Jennywren8 , fingers crossed he'll dodge it. My daughter completely buggered up her biology exam today. The idiotic teachers forced her to remove her heavy make up right before the exam. She has autism, body dysmorphia, social anxiety and has been off since Jan. They are fully aware of all of this. She cried through the whole thing and couldn't complete it. I'm just so angry, I've not got the words really.

Oh @Theordinary I am so very sorry to hear this, especially after your lovely DD was so brave and came back to school to do her exams. I really do hope that it doesn't put her off her upcoming exams.
I would be utterly furious with the school for being so insensitive and thoughtless especially with it being their first exam in most cases. I would speak to them before the next exam and seek assurances that they will not repeat what happened today. Sending you a big non-Mumsnet hug x

Thank you @Jennywren8 , I'm heartbroken for her especially as this was the subject she was the most confident in. I just can't understand why they couldn't just turn a blind eye. It's as if the school rules are more important than my child's mental health. I hope your son got on OK with his exam today. At least that's one out of the way!

I agree, it was both very unnecessary and very unkind. As an aside who doesn't want to wear a bit of make up when heading into their first exam, pretty sure I did it at that age. And as adults most women wear a bit of make up, the world hasn't ended.
I hope your DD is okay tonight and that you have a restful weekend and you manage to convince her to attend her exams next week. We have English lit on Monday if the vom bug doesn't get us 🙈

Ps DS said that biology was 'okay' today but that could mean anything as he didn't revise so the bar must be quite low...

My daughter got the first question wrong. 🤦‍♀️
But she did it and I am taking that as a win.

@Theordinary hope your daughter is doing okay today after yesterday's unpleasant experience x

How's everyone doing? It's like ww3 in this house with every single avoidance tactic employed to avoid revision. It's killing me with anxiety watching any future possibilities drain away before my eyes and no matter what I do or say it has no impact whatsoever.

Same here. Trying to get my daughter to learn at least a few quotes. She keeps putting it off and it's getting late.

Hi all, just found this thread....

My DD is doing GCSE's, she has ASD and PDA but her focus is doing well so she's worked hard for these exams and will do well I think.., it's just super stressfull for her at the moment..

My DS did his a couple of years ago... he has ADHD and ASD and really struggled post COVID ( and before) with the education system. Was out if school from the March and had gone from a student that was predicted 7's to being excluded.

He sat them all and passed English and maths... then has spent time at college doing an art btec which wasn't really him but did let him adjust to college.

This year he's done a level 1 in car body work.. he's happy/ settled got a serious girlfriend and is a pleasure to be around.

We are hoping he will start an apprenticeship next year and his college tutors think he's great. We are so so pleased.

I still sometimes feel sad that he didn't get the GCSEs he deserved and that it did change the course of his life but he's happier and that's what matters.

So, all of those statements about GCSE's not being the be all and end all are true for us...

Take it at their pace, adapt, support and encourage but remember academic results are only one facet of life!

Chemistry and Geography later this week and literally no revision done for these exams

Hope your kids are surviving OK. For many just turning up and trying will be a win.

Completely agree @TeenDivided I am so proud of DS for showing up. The odds are massively stacked against him and he knows it, but he still gets out of bed and gives it a go. For now at least, half term might be the end of that! I hope everyone else is coping with whatever these days are throwing at you

My DC last night said (when he wouldn't do any revision) that over 60% of the world's billionaires failed their exams apparently 🙈

Well done making it to half term.

It's been a struggle...

Oh goodness! I've found my tribe! (nearly too late, however) I was lurking around other social media threads with other parents of current Y11s and thinking I was on my own amongst a sea of high achieving 9 aimers, even those with children with SEN.
That is definitely not our situation. Personally, I would be doing cartwheels if DS (Autistic, ADHD, dyslexic) gets anything close to 5s across the board. Revision is so hard and tiring for him (and me) Am so ready for a few days of downtime during the half-term holiday. DS has 11 more exam to go after the break...

Hurrah for the half term here too. Day off today for all of us then back to revision again, taking it slow though. DS is exhausted but he's sat every one so far. Very anxious though, especially for maths - he was shaking like a leaf. 9 more after the break then DONE!

Hi, good to find you. I have a son with slight learning difficulties who, to be realistic, is not going to get to the 'expected' Grade 4 in any of his subjects.

I'm not surprised as I've known since he was very little that he struggles with academic work. But all through school, first primary and then secondary I was told, it's ok, he's coping he doesn't need an EHCP, he's not that far behind. I felt like I was doing him a disservice if I tried to say he was worse than they thought, and I thought, maybe they are able to get more out of him at school than I'm seeing at home. For the first few years of secondary we got the line 'if he works hard he can get to 4s.' And I thought, really? That would be a miracle, but ok. But sure enough, once they started doing mocks in Year 10 his predicted grades have got lower and lower and now he's predicted 1s and the odd 2. And like I said, I'm not surprised, I'm just a bit cross that it took them so long to realise how poor he is academically when I've been saying it his whole school career.

But anyway, he has a place at college where he can start on a Level 1 course and I am tentatively hoping that he will love it - as I feel so sorry for him that he has hated school all his life but has doggedly persevered and had 100% attendance most years.

I'm taking him on holiday once his exams are over. School had said once his last exam was done that was it, there would be nothing else for them, so I booked our train tickets. Now there's a leaver's assembly been mentioned that might be while we're away. But to be honest while I think it would be a shame for him to miss it I don't think he'd give a toss!

SIXTH form manager here - its really hard!
All they need is a 4 in maths and English,,,....

@AmyandPhilipfan your post resonated. similar to you, DS has some SEN and throughout school it’s been ‘he will be ok, he’s smart’ and I didn’t want to push back and assume he couldn’t do it.

Years 7-9 were ok, but years 10-11 he’s struggled more and more with the content and the exams and his grades have gone steadily downhill. Every parents evening has been so depressing.
He’s persevered and doggedly turned up to school every day, despite how hard he finds it. I also feel sorry for him, as it’s really not been a happy time.

We’ve found a college where he can do Level 1/2/3 courses (depending on final grades) and he’s feeling happier about that as the pressure is off a bit to achieve something he’s just not capable of.

@Rainyblue yes, my son sounds very similar. He was dragging his heels a bit today and so made it to the exam by the skin of his teeth. It was English Literature. He hates reading (mainly because he doesn't understand most of a text at GCSE level) and likely won't be able to link quotes to points. He probably won't understand what the questions are asking him to write about. But he's still gone. He's done it. Yet, because his school hasn't given them study leave so they have to be there full time until the exams are over, he was classed as late to school and so has been given a detention. I really think they could have waived it in these circumstances!

How's everyone doing? I'm really struggling. So stressful

It's nearly over - you've made it this far, hang on in there. I feel your pain though, DS really struggled to get up and out today and he's started to get a sore throat which is the sign he's about to go under. Lots of rest this weekend for all of us for the last push