waiting list experiences / help!

[pearlsthatwerent]

Just after a little advice - anecdotes - stories - cheerful reflections...

My daughter wasn't offered ANY of her preferred secondary schools (we weren't fussy - would happily have sent her to all of them - and we did include her catchment school). Instead she's been offered a place at a school across town (c. an hour's bus ride) with a less good reputation. We're in Cambridge, which seems to have had an absurd bulge year.

She is 10th on the waiting list for our 1st preference (240 PAN), and I'm just trying to understand how these waiting lists work. Does anyone have any insight?

In particular: are places offered as soon as they become available, or do schools / LAs wait until after certain dates - perhaps the deadline for acceptances?

If we decide to home-school or manage to find (and indeed afford) a place at an Independent, can we remain on the state waiting list?

Does 10th sound hopeful in this situation - bearing in mind the almost general over-subscription here? I'm torn between remaining optimistic and gently preparing my daughter for a change of plan, but I've no idea how much movement is usual on these lists, or when it happens (why would anyone change their mind in July??).

I'd be so grateful for any thoughts anyone wanted to share - we're thinking about an appeal too, but just hoping against hope that won't be necessary.

We're the same. I also haven't been mentioning it as I couldn't bear being asked for updates by well meaning people.

The school we are waiting for kindly emailed off their own bat to say they have been told the council will send them waiting lists the week commencing 25 March. They will then be in a position to start making any other offers or update on waiting list places a few days later. Pure agony but hopefully an end maybe in sight. Trying not to get hopes up

Hi all, just checking in how everyone is feeling. Tomorrow is the day that in our councils people were meant to reply to accept or decline offers. I was hoping this would mean next week there would start to be more noise on waiting lists even though the council have said nothing until 25 April I remain hopeful.

Yeah, our deadline for response is tomorrow, too. But I know they have to give non-responders another week and a reminder before they withdraw a place. I'm hoping there will be movement if there's a last minute flurry of people remembering to accept/deny places.

Round here you are automatically put on the waiting list, and when you accept a place you can chose to come off the waiting list. Fingers crossed the last minute acceptors relinquish places on waiting list, if their 2nd choice is "good enough".

Pulling together bits and bobs for appeal here.

@shockeditellyou i think you are right I’ve heard they are not strict on deadlines and I think many will not bother responding and clog up the system as it were!

Agreed. I'm a little worried about this. I do understand that there may be issues where people don't understand etc so that's why the extra week is given to chase but how long can someone realistically sit on the offer until it's withdraw? Would it be withdrawn on the Friday before the 25 March or is more leeway given - say to the middle of the next week? I don't know. Plus I've heard that some people accept an offer with the intention of going private and sit on that offer until the first week of September. It all sounds like utter chaos to be hornest. I'm preparing myself for a long wait

I heard that too hence why I guess so much movement in September- I genuinely can’t imagine waiting that long

Hello all! I spoke to the Council earlier in the week, and here they do give updates from next Monday / Tuesday (if you can get through...). Same with the deadline of the 15th, and then another couple of weeks to round up the stragglers.

From what I can gather the major waiting list movements happen in March (following initial acceptances & rejections) and April (when independent schools require advance fees for September). Changes after that tend to be people moving in and out of the area etc., or successful appeals freeing up places elsewhere. And in September there are often a couple of children who don't turn up for one reason or another - as you say @Gobbolinothewitchscat , maybe parents dithering about going private.

So frustrating! But at least some of us will have more of a sense of likely outcomes soon...

@pearlsthatwerent thank you for that insight. I’ll try both Kent County Council and Bexley County Council on Monday. I’ll report back if they divulge anything!

That's useful to know. Thank you. I felt a lot better after the kind admissions person emailed me as at least we have a date when we might hear something. However, when I initially spoke to the school, they said DS would probably be number 2 on the waiting list from what they could work out from info they had. However I am now torturing myself that he will suddenly be number 19 or something. It is for a grammar so anyone else on the list will have had to pass the exam. Am preparing myself mentally to be told that he is miles down a waiting list. Thankfully they email I think as I'd probably cry on the phone

@Gobbolinothewitchscat number 2 is amazing and is promising. I think we’ll be like 100 or something awful. I’m not sure knowing will help my anxiety.

Oh - it's so hard going. I was told this on 1 March by the school admissions team at the school but of course they won't know who may ask to go on the waiting list by 15 March. He is very high up the admissions criteria because of a change in status since the application date. But of course I'm torturing myself that other people will suddenly decide they should have put this school as first chouce grammar and go on the waiting list. Not sure if that happens a lot. Also what if no one turns down a place? It is agony.

I have everything crossed for you and everyone else on this thread. So glad there is somewhere to come and speak about this

There will be movement and I would be confident with your position. I’m really hopeful that you’ll have your answer by April and then you will leave this thread and be happy it all worked out. I fear I may be still posting in August!

I actually don't think I will leave as I feel trauma bonded to the rest ot us on here. I honestly don't think unless you've been in our position you can actually understand the sleepless nights and constant thoughts!

I'm still here as I'm dithering on what to do next! It's interesting the psychology of getting a place as before we got the place this week I was getting ready to appeal and was sure even if a place at the first choice was offered after school started we'd accept it. Now we've had the 3rd choice place for a few days we're sort of bonded to it, it's so odd! I can see how offers get really far down the waiting list as people decide not to switch.

@Secondarywoes if you accept third option my understanding is you’ll still be on WL for higher preference schools. So you could try to come to terms with 3rd and leave a 1st or 2nd choice to the hands of fate? If you feel that becomes a comfortable place to be?

@Secondarywoes That's interesting! And I can absolutely see how it works: I've thought so very long and hard about all of the options, trying to consider everything and find all the positives and negatives, and I'm exhausted with it: anything certain would be welcome, and I'd start to feel loyal and invested.

There's such a lot of chance in all of this - even if we get 'the' school, will it be right - will DC thrive? It's almost like the illusion of informed choice: the frightening thing is how much is beyond our control, even if it all goes to plan. And of course none of this would have troubled my mind if we'd been offered any of the schools we'd put down in the first place!

If anyone is calling the Council next week, remember you can ask them about what happened in previous years: what number position the waiting list offers went down to, how many successful appeals for each school etc. I had my geek stats questions written down so I wouldn't get confused.

Hope everyone has a distracting weekend, and fingers crossed for some good news for everyone on the thread next week.

Agree with what you're saying. There is a small bit of me that almost wants to accept DS' current school just to put this all behind me and not have to worry about entry tests for a private option next week and sitting on this waiting list for the grammar feeling totally powerless. The fact that a school wants to accept your child and is usually sending nice, welcoming, emails is very tempting! If there wasn't a massive differential in the schools, I would be very tempted to accept it and move on. Would probably stay on the waiting list but view any movement as a bonus

Same. Not sure DC is doing particularly well with the uncertainty here, either:(

I was in the same boat - DD started a secondary in Sept that we hadn't put down, quite far away where she knew know one.

I moved her after two months to a more local school when they had space but she is still on a waiting list for a preferred school and if she were lucky enough to get a place I'd encourage her to go for it - even at this late stage.

I’m a bit late to join but also sitting on waiting lists. We were offered our third choice school but I only had it on the list to avoid a worse school.

I’ve been resisting contacting the council to ask about our waiting list positions because I’m really scared we’re going to be super low down and I’m not sure I want to know if that’s the case. I’ll probably call on Monday though because otherwise my anxiety will be convincing me I somehow messed up putting her on the waiting lists.

I contacted both councils my school choices sit on today they are both saying they won’t be able to tell me on Monday our position but then I do wonder say they did tell me and they say 100 or even 20 will that give me any indication- no as I’ll have no idea if there are 20 or 2 that have declined their offer to make those spaces free. I honestly feel like my head will pop lol. As always loving reading that I’m not the only one in turmoil and very appreciative of the solidarity.

Your councils sound like ours. Next week is the week spent chasing people and the waiting lists are then sent to the grammar schools to deal with on the Monday thereafter as they are their own admission authorities.

I'm kind of in two minds about the waiting list. I'm desperate to know but also really worried they will say DS is 96th or something. I don't think that can happen but I really don't know. I'm giving an all day training course on Monday away from home and I'm really worried about getting a depressing email when I'm doing that and then having to trudge home. Don't trust myself not to look though

Training course on Tuesday. The school said they will need a day or so to go through it and work out what is what so thinking we will hear on the Tuesday

@Gobbolinothewitchscat is that hear position or if you will be made an offer on Tuesday? Just have to keep everything crossed that you get a positive email and it’ll feel like some element of uncertainty has gone?

Admissions said they would tell us waiting list place or make an offer "a day or so" from Monday, 25th. I'm trying to read any positivity into that as to whether they would ONLY say that if they thought making an offer to anyone was likely. If not, would they not just say they will be in touch with waiting list places. But maybe it's just a stock phrase. Desperate times now 😂