waiting list experiences / help!

[pearlsthatwerent]

Just after a little advice - anecdotes - stories - cheerful reflections...

My daughter wasn't offered ANY of her preferred secondary schools (we weren't fussy - would happily have sent her to all of them - and we did include her catchment school). Instead she's been offered a place at a school across town (c. an hour's bus ride) with a less good reputation. We're in Cambridge, which seems to have had an absurd bulge year.

She is 10th on the waiting list for our 1st preference (240 PAN), and I'm just trying to understand how these waiting lists work. Does anyone have any insight?

In particular: are places offered as soon as they become available, or do schools / LAs wait until after certain dates - perhaps the deadline for acceptances?

If we decide to home-school or manage to find (and indeed afford) a place at an Independent, can we remain on the state waiting list?

Does 10th sound hopeful in this situation - bearing in mind the almost general over-subscription here? I'm torn between remaining optimistic and gently preparing my daughter for a change of plan, but I've no idea how much movement is usual on these lists, or when it happens (why would anyone change their mind in July??).

I'd be so grateful for any thoughts anyone wanted to share - we're thinking about an appeal too, but just hoping against hope that won't be necessary.

@Secondarywoes Oh that's such exciting news! You must be delighted. And interesting to hear there is movement, as you say - did this come via the Council or the school? I've been siting on my hands and not ringing but may allow myself one tiny phone call this week to check up on how things are looking!

In our London school we were 38 then 44 for a selective stream of 70 kids. We got in on the first day of term.

Sounds like lists are moving although the catholic might hold their own list as a faith school. Generally as you say there is a shift after 1/04. Ours wants acceptances by 15th and then a second set of offers goes out early April. After that the waiting lists kick in. Our area they are electronic and generally get updated on a Friday. Being able to check saw mine go up and down and then sit at number 6 and then 2 in August. Two children still didn't turn up on the first day of term.

@pearlsthatwerent I'm very relieved! I got an email from the council with an offer letter giving 10 days to respond or they'd offer the place to the next person. I accepted but we're 5 miles away so will stay on the waiting lists for closer schools too.

We are in the same position - been offered NCA...
@Secondarywoes I'm thrilled for you! Are you baptised Catholic? Just wondering what category on the waiting list they have gotten to on St Bedes.

@shockeditellyou Yes, baptised. I know someone with a non Christian faith who was 80th on the waiting list for St Bede's, if that helps at all. Which schools are you hoping for?

We're waiting on St Bede's ideally!

Do you know your waiting list position? I'm sure there will be more movement, it's so early on still.

We are on the waiting list for Kent county council Dartford and Wilmington Girls. They implied I wouldn’t hear anything on waiting lists until 25 April although I hope and pray something after the 15 March acceptance deadline, but we shall see. Really appreciate any support as I’m very anxious.

Did you check on a portal to see positions I’m not sure our eadmission portal shows that but I will check on there.

Congratulations to those with offers. Heartwarming to hear.

We're top 10 on the waiting list, but the wrong end. Hoping for lots of movement after the 15th!

I take it @shockeditellyou your council disclose your position? Ours won’t until after 25 April they said then transfers to schools managing their waiting lists

@Rinse123 - yes, our LA tell us.

Sending solidarity. We are the same with our LA. They won't award any places until the date has passed for accepting or declining places and adding yourself to waiting lists etc - that is 15 March. Which I understand as what if a place is offered to a child who was 1st on waiting list on 10 March but someone else joins the list on 11 March who would have placed higher.

Then they take at least a week after that to work out what places there are and assign to the waiting list.

It's painful and I'm not sleeping very well. I got an indicative idea from the school on 1 March as to where we are on the waiting list which is very high up. But I've been torturing myself about others joining in the interim. I'm kind of trying to tell myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint and it maybe that we don't hear or get a place until September. We just need to be patient and sit it out.

Thank you so much for the solidarity that’s all you can give each other at these times. I too feel like I’m making myself unwell over the worry. Have to try to stay positive but it’s hard.

We're currently 22nd on the waiting list for a 240 intake school. I keep swaying between hopeful and hopeless. When I spoke to the school they told me that more are being added to the list ahead of us. 😢

Let's just keep going together. I feel overwhelmed as we also need to go down the appeal track too.

I'm trying to just break everything down into more manageable chunks of time and focus on some little certainties. So W/C 25 March I should hear where DS is formally on the waiting list. That will give me another little bit of info.

This week I'm preparing DS for an entrance exam for a private option so I need to focus on that.

Next week I'm going to start getting my appeal stuff in order with a view to finalising the paperwork for the deadline on 12 April. I know I'll be doing that.

After that, I need to give some thought as to how to prepare DS to attend the offered school if the private option doesn't work out and the appeals aren't successful. He will need to attend the transition there in July so that will be a bit of a bummer for him. How can I support re that.

After that it's school holidays and more waiting up to and past the first day of term.

I find that telling my brain to focus on one thing at a time and stick to the plan is helping me stay a bit calmer. It's a horrible situation as it is so uncertain - the waiting list is entirely dependent on the behaviours of others over which we have no control. That's a hard thing to manage as an adult; particularly when it's your child directly affected.

@Gobbolinothewitchscat definitely will stick together and offer support. I think that’s really helpful to break the time in to chunks so you feel like you are achieving milestones in a seemingly hopeless situation.

It works for me as it feels like I can make sense out of chaos. Also that I am achieving goals I've set for myself and moving forward in my own small way.

I am literally having to force myself though 😂. It's just been such a grind. First all the prep for the 11+ exam, then waiting for results. Now this. But I just have to accept it could be well into September before DS is offered a place, if he ever is.

I thought offers from the waiting list would only be sent out after 15th March. 🙄 good news that the council is being super organised.

@Gobbolinothewitchscat is DS your eldest? My DD is eldest so first time round I think that’s why it’s been so hard as we are trying to keep all options open so it’s been hard work, hopefully with the next two I’ll know more what to expect and how it all works.

Yes. I've got another one doing the 11+ in September and then a break for a year and 11+ again. I'm hoping this year will be a bit better but it's been pretty hard going going from prepping one and straight into another. I was hoping DS' school would be sorted out before the next exam in September for number 2 but I'm kind of working on the basis that we may well still be on a waiting list then and DS may have started at another school

Solidarity to @Gobbolinothewitchscat and @Rinse123 and everyone else waiting in this situation: it's tough to feel this powerless over something so important. I've found out that we're also being leap-frogged in the waiting list and it feels so unfair (though I know at some level it really isn't).

On the other hand, I firmly believe that any DC who are lucky enough to have parents who care about their education and do their best to find good outcomes - including, if necessary, making the best of those that seem like bad ones - are going to be okay one way or another.

That's such a good point and a lovely message to take away. I firmly believe that too. All we can do, is do our best. If we do that, we can look forward with no regrets. This is such a kind and supportive thread - sending good vibes to anyone waiting. I have everything crossed for you and it is good to be amongst others who understand this very particular form of worry and anxiety

Couldn’t agree more. Really helps bring around support of those in the same camp. As you say the love, support and care just by worrying so much about getting this right demonstrates that wherever our DC end up they’ve got an incredible support from us to give them the best start.

I feel that any offer will be all the more precious and appreciated given what we have been through! That can't be a bad thing - or at least that's what I'm telling myself 😂

Agree with the solidarity appreciation. I can't talk about this IRL as either people have been offered the school they want, or I don't want to piss them off by saying I really don't want my kid to go to the school their kid is going to!