School unable to identify sexual harassment perpetrator and are doing nothing

[Birdsflyinghigh1]

Our secondary has investigated a couple of sexual harassment incidents reported by DD (13). A boy in her year lifted up her skirt from behind - this has happened twice. On both occasions a large group of boys from her year were present and laughing and shouting - high jinks for them.

The school have an idea of who this group of boys is, they have all been interviewed and have corroborated each other's stories insofar as they all agree that someone lifted DD's skirt, but none of them can (will?) say who.

The school suspect the boys are covering for each other but they also say there's nothing they can do without a statement, witness or evidence. So the school accept DD was sexually harassed, but because they can't identify the specific boy, there will be no further action.

DD has to go back into school with nothing in place to protect her from these boys going forward, and of course now they know they can do it and get away with it. She's even more at risk and I feel she'll be a sitting duck.

The only suggestion from school is that DD spends her lunchtimes and breaks in the library where a teacher is present and she'll have some separation from the group of boys. This isn't going to work and sends the wrong message completely. AIBU to keep DD at home until the school deal with this effectively?

Further to all of that, accounts of what happened to DD have been circulating on Snapchat and the school haven't addressed it. No investigation whatsoever. They know it's an issue because other parents have told them about it, but haven't asked for screenshots or addressed it.

Send her in in a pair of trousers! School can just suck it up if it is not part of the uniform policy. Do they not have CCTV in the corridors?

I would go to the police and report this in the hope it puts a rocket up the schools arse. Yet again it sounds like "boys being boys" from the school and the girls have to suffer. I am so fed up with this shit.

They don't retain CCTV for more than 7 days, so it's gone.

With the school accepting that it has happened but holding their hands up as unable to find out who, I would escalate it to the police.
If nothing else it broadcasts the message that this isn't going to be accepted. And to the boys it broadcasts that this is a serious thing to be doing.

She should not have to put up with this. I can’t imagine the staff are happy about it but they can’t work out who has actually done it. They should be giving that whole group of boys additional education on sexual harassment. I hate to say it but she should wear trousers, she should not have to but with bunch of idiot boys around it might be the only way to keep her safe. School should be doing a lot more about the snap chat stuff.

I would absolutely be expecting all of these boys to receive consequences in the form of curriculum lessons regarding sexual harassment in their own time. But he fact they can’t work out which boy did it then I’d be absolutely following this up with them repeatedly as a teacher and would make their lives very difficult until it came out who it was

I am so glad thinking on this has changed! Gone are the days where this should be put up with - it even is featured as something acceptable in the movie ‘Grease’ and I’m so glad times have changed.

If they know it was one of the boys but they are covering then they should all be guilty by proxy and face consequences. Send your daughter wearing non uniform that covers her IF she feels happier in this and insist that all the boys are punished until they feel compelled to reveal the culprit.

Can you campaign to govenors and make a complaint?

So sorry this has happened to your DD.

How do secondary schools deal with these situations where children cover for each other? It must happen all the time. I can't help but feel there has to be more they can do.

YANBU. I'd be incandescent with rage if I were you. If they are all covering for each other then can the school not sanction them all? Can you complain to the school governors? How utterly ridiculous that they suggest she needs to spend lunch times in the library instead of actually dealing with the problem.

Your poor DD. The school sounds utterly awful in their nonresponse.

She absolutely shouldn't be the one that has to spend lunch and breaks in the library - why should she have to change her behaviour?

If anyone should be the spending their lunch and breaks in the library under teacher supervision, it should be all the boys. Maybe that will help jog their memories.

All the boys should be put in isolation for being complicit. Unless someone wants to own up or say who. If it happens again they will all be suspended irrelevant of who committed the act.

Well of course they can - they can put them all in (separate) isolation, they can exclude for a period of time. Possibly permanent exclusion if they still don't tell. They're choosing not to.

Outside of school the criminal justice system would find them all guilty even the perpetrator couldn't be identified as long as there was clear evidence of an assault taking place.

I agree this is a matter for the police. Upskirting is a criminal offence. If the school does not know what to do, they are not keeping your daughter safe. Suggesting she goes to the library is outrageous. They can put all boys involved to detention every single breaktime until someone owns up.

this is just plainly outrageous to suggest to the victim to go into hiding in libraries during the break, are they for real? the whole group should be locked up in the classrooms during the break and your daughter should be made free to walk whenever she wants without any fear to bump into the nasty group. id make a big deal out of it and in fact i'd make a report to the police. Upskirting is a crime.

I assume they watched the CCTV within 7 days of the incident? If not, why not?

They punish the group as a whole, and let the ones who feel this is an outrage slug it out amongst themselves.

They should punish the whole group until one of them cracks. They won't though due to fear of comeback from the 'innocent' boys parents.

"Innocent" being the right way to describe the group - if they all stood there laughing and did nothing to stop it, then IMO they are all as guilty as the actual skirt lifter, and should be punished as such.

This depends on the school, in the school one of my DC attends the whole group is normally put in detention/punished for covering up each other, because covering up is a crime in itself. any incidents involving B/G are taken very seriously and boys actually know that hence the incidents of that nature happen very rarely. it makes my blood boil that OP's daughter was advised to hide in the library to avoid the group.

It’s a police matter. You’ll find the school is suddenly a lot more cooperative once the police get involved. We’ve had this twice at school (non-sexual assaults in our case) and went straight to the police. We informed the school out of courtesy that we had done so but certainly didn’t expect them to investigate a crime.

And 7 days is a ridiculously short retention period for CCTV.

FFS why are schools so useless with discipline? If nobody's admitting it, the whole group of boys should be kept in at lunchtimes all week, in silence, writing out "sexual harassment is a crime" one hundred times each day.

I'd hope that peer pressure among the group would shame the perpetrator into owning up.

Shameful. The whole group should be punished. I’d be furious. Your poor daughter.