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Secondary education

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Original poster

Transfer from private to state at 11+

93 replies

curioscurio · 23/05/2023 16:28

I don't want to incite one of those endless threads on privilege of public schools and immorality of private education. Both me and my husband are state educated and got our higher degrees entirely on scholarships. Both are foreigners, so British education system with (as it seems from outside) random assignment of places in state schools/oversubscription criteria/appeals/catchment areas seems too complicated a game to master for the outsiders. So, as the quality of education of our DD is of a paramount importance for us, we opted, at the cost of our living standards, for private eduction route until 11+ and grammar school after.

My DD is academic, sociable, empathic, very sensitive, with strong feelings on social justice and ecology. She can stay at her (selective) private London school until university and I am quite confident that the quality of her education will be good there. However, I am having issues with her growing in an orangery and her peer group not being diverse enough. Hence (plus the fact that the school fees are quite a burden for our finances) our plan is to try a grammar school at 11+ (we are in the catchment of HBS).

However, after lurking on mumsnet for a while I realised that this is not as simple as I thought and there seems to be an antipathy between people choosing private and state options. Thus, I became worried that my DD will be labelled "posh" (which she isn't, but her accent, unfortunately, is) and shunned by other children if moved to state education system.

Did anybody have an experience of such a move? How did your DC find the experience? Is there something that I am missing and should take into account when planning this move? Or am I just overcomplicating things?

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/05/2023 16:31

Me. I was called "posh" at my state comprehensive because I didn't have a local accent. It wasn't a big deal.

There will be plenty of middle class types in a selective state grammar school. I'm sure she will be fine.

Hoppinggreen · 23/05/2023 16:32

Depends on the schools involved.
I imagine that there will be a few dc from Private schools at the Grammar so probably not an issue but what is your plan if she doesn’t get a place?
Going Private to Grammar is probably easier than going Private to “rough” inner city Comp - but even that doesn’t have to be a disaster

SheilaFentiman · 23/05/2023 16:34

I think you are overthinking

MsFogi · 23/05/2023 16:36

You're overcomplicating things. My dcs all moved at 11+ and they all say my one mistake was paying for their education in junior school! They all consider that it was a good move. You'll find there are plenty of 'posh' children who have been in the state system in junior school and at senior school yours will not be the only ones moving from private (whether you go to a grammar or comp), there will also be plenty who could have paid for private (in junior and/or senior) but didn't and there will be plenty with lovely accents (whether they went private or state in junior school).

FluffMagnet · 23/05/2023 16:48

Granted, this was about 20 years ago, but at my grammar school it was very common for girls to join from private. Parents were delighted to have a free option and I recall several being gifted ponies for passing the 11+! Private to the local comprehensive though ... that would have been a bit of a rude awakening. The grammar students won't be too different in demographic to the private school.

If you want to move, don't pull her out of private until she has gained a place in the grammar you want.

Wnikat · 23/05/2023 16:51

the likelihood of her getting into HBS is pretty small

if she does get in, she’ll be fine, it’s so competitive that there will be many children from a similar background to her.

Florin · 23/05/2023 16:57

Our son is at private and lots from his school and the other surrounding schools go to the grammar school for secondary and haven’t heard of any problems, it’s a very standard thing to do here.

Dodgeitornot · 23/05/2023 17:00

The likelihood of her getting into HBS is about the same or smaller than St Paul's girls. So if she's not that sort of calibre, or you feel she wouldn't cope in that type of environment, I wouldn't do it.
However, you are grossly underestimating how much of a bubble schools like HBS are. They are often less diverse than London private schools as they attract either the rich who for social reasons don't choose private, or the very middle classes who have been priced out of private. You will be moving her from one orangery to another.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 17:02

There was a good documentary about the called "The Inbetweeners". It followed one young students transition from a 'posh' to state school. Very thought provoking stuff.

Todayiamlexie · 23/05/2023 17:04

I would say don't worry, particularly if you are looking at grammar schools.

There is a lot of movement between private and state at 11 plus in that area. Lots of people from both preps and state primaries apply for grammar schools and private schools, and I think the mix of children is fairly evenly spread.

SheilaFentiman · 23/05/2023 17:17

Admisssion stats are here:

https://www.barnet.gov.uk/sites/default/files/Allocation%20Table%202023.pdf

Advicerequest · 23/05/2023 17:18

My kids are at a private school. Their poshest friends are at the London state schools.

SheilaFentiman · 23/05/2023 17:20

I am quite surprised that it doesn't fill up with pupils within 3 miles.

Floralnomad · 23/05/2023 17:21

Both of ours went private to 11+ in Kent , never had an issue .

2reefsin30knots · 23/05/2023 17:23

The grammar school in unlikely to be diverse either. I would say HBS also qualifies as an 'orangery'.

LBFseBrom · 23/05/2023 17:30

Please don't worry about it, a lot of my son's friends went from private prep to grammar and all was fine. It is the same for many children where I live and, thinking back many, many years, was so for me. Accents vary wherever they go, that is really not important. Children adjust fairly quickly if they are content in other aspects of their lives.

Dodgeitornot · 23/05/2023 17:32

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/05/2023 17:02

There was a good documentary about the called "The Inbetweeners". It followed one young students transition from a 'posh' to state school. Very thought provoking stuff.

You are joking right? Lol

redskylight · 23/05/2023 17:43

HBS is likely to have a lot of children similar to your DC. I would also suspect it's no more diverse than your private school.

Original poster
curioscurio · 23/05/2023 17:52

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/05/2023 16:31

Me. I was called "posh" at my state comprehensive because I didn't have a local accent. It wasn't a big deal.

There will be plenty of middle class types in a selective state grammar school. I'm sure she will be fine.

The problem is that my daughter is very sensitive and gentle. It will distress her if other pupils are harsh to her. How did you manage with it if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
Original poster
curioscurio · 23/05/2023 17:53

MsFogi · 23/05/2023 16:36

You're overcomplicating things. My dcs all moved at 11+ and they all say my one mistake was paying for their education in junior school! They all consider that it was a good move. You'll find there are plenty of 'posh' children who have been in the state system in junior school and at senior school yours will not be the only ones moving from private (whether you go to a grammar or comp), there will also be plenty who could have paid for private (in junior and/or senior) but didn't and there will be plenty with lovely accents (whether they went private or state in junior school).

Thank you for alleviating my fears!

OP posts:
Jaxx · 23/05/2023 17:53

You are very much over complicating things. My son went from private to state at 11 and he was fine and it wasn’t even a selective school!

As others have said, HBS is very tough to get into so make sure you have back up options. Also remember bright kids do well at comprehensive schools too. Look for ones that are aspirational, place emphasis on good behaviour and set for at least maths, languages and science. My son has achieved brilliantly in his GCSE’s and is on track to do similarly well in his A levels.

SheilaFentiman · 23/05/2023 17:56

Other pupils may be harsh to your DD for many reasons (I hope not but it does happen, mine got teased for a bad haircut once) - it’s then on the school to take action.

Original poster
curioscurio · 23/05/2023 17:58

FluffMagnet · 23/05/2023 16:48

Granted, this was about 20 years ago, but at my grammar school it was very common for girls to join from private. Parents were delighted to have a free option and I recall several being gifted ponies for passing the 11+! Private to the local comprehensive though ... that would have been a bit of a rude awakening. The grammar students won't be too different in demographic to the private school.

If you want to move, don't pull her out of private until she has gained a place in the grammar you want.

Thank you for the advice. We are not planning to move, so she will leave her school only if she has a place in a grammar school at 11+.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 23/05/2023 17:59

Your bigger issue is her getting a place, I suggest you look carefully at all the state grammar options and non selective state schools you are close to. Most schools are not selective

Original poster
curioscurio · 23/05/2023 18:00

Wnikat · 23/05/2023 16:51

the likelihood of her getting into HBS is pretty small

if she does get in, she’ll be fine, it’s so competitive that there will be many children from a similar background to her.

I know that admissions are tough, but we are in 3 mile radius from it and she got without any tutoring to SHHS, Highgate and CLJS, so, I think, with some help, she will stand a decent chance.

OP posts:
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