Page 37 | SW London Private and Grammar - applying for Year 7 in 2023 (Part VI)

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 11:11

I know traditionally people have said girls schools are better for girls and coed for boys but in the case of my 2, a girl and a boy, as individuals, I can see my daughter is so much better off and relaxed at a coed school - she can handle the banter and can hold her won but will crumble among mean girls. But I feel my son would flourish academically in an all boys environment.
A girls' school can be too pressured for a girl who gets anxious easily and for some boys they can be disadvantaged among the bright girls in a coed and not feel they are not as good. I know my son can be quite boisterous and is full of banter and boys schools are very good at adapting to how boys learn.

Just an alternative view and each child is an individual. However I shan't be sending my son to an all boys school as I don't like the non private ones available to us ( & I won't send one child to private and one to state).

SamPoodle123 · 27/02/2023 11:17

HawaiiWake · 27/02/2023 10:53

@SamPoodle123 , holders offer days in coed schools are not invited on 50/50 gender split. All the best with GL!

I meant I felt there were more boys at the school when viewing the school (as in the boys who already go to Emanuel). I was not referring to the dc at the holder event. It could just be the boys stood out to me more for some reason. I was told the school is pretty much 50/50 boys and girls, so it was just me noticing the boys more perhaps. I did like the school a lot and think it would suit my ds.

SamPoodle123 · 27/02/2023 11:21

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 11:11

I know traditionally people have said girls schools are better for girls and coed for boys but in the case of my 2, a girl and a boy, as individuals, I can see my daughter is so much better off and relaxed at a coed school - she can handle the banter and can hold her won but will crumble among mean girls. But I feel my son would flourish academically in an all boys environment.
A girls' school can be too pressured for a girl who gets anxious easily and for some boys they can be disadvantaged among the bright girls in a coed and not feel they are not as good. I know my son can be quite boisterous and is full of banter and boys schools are very good at adapting to how boys learn.

Just an alternative view and each child is an individual. However I shan't be sending my son to an all boys school as I don't like the non private ones available to us ( & I won't send one child to private and one to state).

Yes, this makes sense. It depends on the dc what might suit them better. Or perhaps both suit and they will be happy in either. We only have experience of coed and I went to coed my entire life. I do hope we made the right choice for dd, as that will be our first experience of single sex. My sister also grew up in coed and both her dc are in single sex schools now. She prefers single sex for them, at least at the moment.

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 12:18

@SamPoodle123 I think Godolphin is fantastic school and although going years back they seem to encourage supportive behaviour from the girls going by alumni I know. Successful women but who don't take themselves too seriously. Their leavers destination seemed fab as well; they have a lot of interesting niche university subjects which implies they are good at encouraging individuality! Maths is now very strong there too.

Mumyofthree · 27/02/2023 12:22

Pigeon25 · 27/02/2023 10:04

After a never ending series of family meetings, we’ve decided to accept the Emanuel offer and declined the JAGS offer last night. Feel much better now that we are finally done! All other offers released last week and I get the feel from speaking to friends that waiting lists are starting to move a little….

Congratulations on your decision! In our family we are still in the process, hopefully will get to that soon. Emanuel is on our list and we have been very impressed with the school.

Pigeon25 · 27/02/2023 12:41

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 11:11

I know traditionally people have said girls schools are better for girls and coed for boys but in the case of my 2, a girl and a boy, as individuals, I can see my daughter is so much better off and relaxed at a coed school - she can handle the banter and can hold her won but will crumble among mean girls. But I feel my son would flourish academically in an all boys environment.
A girls' school can be too pressured for a girl who gets anxious easily and for some boys they can be disadvantaged among the bright girls in a coed and not feel they are not as good. I know my son can be quite boisterous and is full of banter and boys schools are very good at adapting to how boys learn.

Just an alternative view and each child is an individual. However I shan't be sending my son to an all boys school as I don't like the non private ones available to us ( & I won't send one child to private and one to state).

This was basically what led us to Emanuel. We started off primary at an all girls school and my DD had a tough time- it was an intense group of girls and the atmosphere wasn’t great. We moved her to a co-ed prep and she has been so happy. The atmosphere is more relaxed, the boys help cut the tension and there seems to be more banter. My number 2 though, who is currently in Y4, would suit single sex schools better though- so it really does depend on the child!

BONNIECLYDE1 · 27/02/2023 13:13

An easy decision on Emanuel for us too. Offer day sealed it for us, a very happy yet ambitious Co-Ed school with amazing grounds, on-site sports facilities and a real buzz about it. Really inspired by the head, Mr Milne.

UKMum2021 · 27/02/2023 13:14

Pigeon25 · 27/02/2023 12:41

This was basically what led us to Emanuel. We started off primary at an all girls school and my DD had a tough time- it was an intense group of girls and the atmosphere wasn’t great. We moved her to a co-ed prep and she has been so happy. The atmosphere is more relaxed, the boys help cut the tension and there seems to be more banter. My number 2 though, who is currently in Y4, would suit single sex schools better though- so it really does depend on the child!

Show quote history

Is your number 2 DD or DS?

swgeek · 27/02/2023 13:30

@Pigeon25 same experience here, pulled DDs out of girls' schools as it wasn't working, toxic atmosphere and diva behaviour let to anxiety and low confidence. Very happy in co-ed now. I know it depends on the individual school but I do think competitive girls' schools are not for everyone. DD made friends with boys at prep and now has some lovely boys as friends in secondary and she wasn't a tomboy or anything, sometimes co-ed just means you have more fluid different groups rather than an "alpha clique" and the rest.

UKMum2021 · 27/02/2023 13:42

swgeek · 27/02/2023 13:30

@Pigeon25 same experience here, pulled DDs out of girls' schools as it wasn't working, toxic atmosphere and diva behaviour let to anxiety and low confidence. Very happy in co-ed now. I know it depends on the individual school but I do think competitive girls' schools are not for everyone. DD made friends with boys at prep and now has some lovely boys as friends in secondary and she wasn't a tomboy or anything, sometimes co-ed just means you have more fluid different groups rather than an "alpha clique" and the rest.

It tells why it seems more parents opt for coed now.

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 13:48

Yes I don't know why some girls really suffer in an all girls school. I found mine absolutely fine - until 6th form - think we had all stayed too long in all girls' by then! I wasn't ever picked on and nor did I pick on others but looking back it did happen but I just didn't get involved I'm glad to say. I think being an autumn born child helps? My dd is late summer.

Dd definitely has tomboy tendencies while being quite vulnerable in some ways ( confidence) so becomes a target, she plays football, skateboards etc
All her friends and secondary are girls though. But I do think having boys in the classes helps ease the cliqueiness exact comes with girls.
Also had a horrible experience at all girls Prep. It does make me sad that girls and indeed women can be bitchy and cliquey.

Original poster

QuiteAJourney · 27/02/2023 14:05

We had a couple of negative experiences in co-ed: one driven by a boy, one driven by a girl that thrives (at the grand age of 10!) on her popularity with boys. The main difference I think is not the behaviours but how the school addresses them.

OP posts:

Blueocean11 · 27/02/2023 14:16

Hi everyone,

Any advice would be very welcome; we are having a tough time deciding between FHS and PHS.

PHS is further for us but do-able (30 mins on a bus) but seems a ‘steadier’ choice.

FHS is closer to us (10 mins on a bus) but we are worried that its recent sky-rocketing in the League Tables may be just be a flash in the pan.

Both schools have heads that are leaving and DD seems to like both equally (went to both offer holders’ days last week).

Which would you choose?

Vista123 · 27/02/2023 14:31

Blueocean11 · 27/02/2023 14:16

Hi everyone,

Any advice would be very welcome; we are having a tough time deciding between FHS and PHS.

PHS is further for us but do-able (30 mins on a bus) but seems a ‘steadier’ choice.

FHS is closer to us (10 mins on a bus) but we are worried that its recent sky-rocketing in the League Tables may be just be a flash in the pan.

Both schools have heads that are leaving and DD seems to like both equally (went to both offer holders’ days last week).

Which would you choose?

I have an older DD at Putney and its great for her. Highly academically selective, single sex schools do not suit everyone however, although I expect you've clocked that by this stage of the process. From what I've heard, I think that they are both equally good schools. The exam results ebb and flow a bit but it is dependent on the year group and if your DD works hard, she'll probably achieve equally well at either school. The major thing I would consider is the traffic around Putney, and all of north Wandsworth. Its been hellish recently and my daughter regularly has to get off the bus and walk so as not to be late for school. Not sure of your route but definitely worth careful consideration. Best of luck.

Blueocean11 · 27/02/2023 14:38

@Vista123

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your thoughts. Although as the crow flies, PHS is not far for us, I do worry about the unpredictability of the journey for my DD because of the traffic. 30 mins on a bus would be a good day, but on a bad day I’m sure it would be significantly more.

I love the GDST ethos though, so I’m torn, as is DD.

Vista123 · 27/02/2023 14:46

Blueocean11 · 27/02/2023 14:38

@Vista123

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your thoughts. Although as the crow flies, PHS is not far for us, I do worry about the unpredictability of the journey for my DD because of the traffic. 30 mins on a bus would be a good day, but on a bad day I’m sure it would be significantly more.

I love the GDST ethos though, so I’m torn, as is DD.

Feel free to ask anything about PHS, or message me privately. I don't know much about FHSS though.

Lolakath19 · 27/02/2023 14:59

Hi everyone hope you are well. Just wondering if anyone has asked (and received ) LU for detailed stats around how girls are performing inside the cohort?

Lilitlilit · 27/02/2023 15:19

Hi! I've got a hard choice between FHRP/FHSS and Emanuel and Queens's Gate. Any recomendations?
Emanuel is our number one but still in the Waiting list. My main concern about this school is commute. We live in Kensington, so DD will have to travel by train, which I'm not ready for yet. Does anyone know which areas Emanuel children accept offers from? Are they mostly from south bank of the river or are there many like us from W8, W14? Would be nice to know if she has someone to travel with.

Vista123 · 27/02/2023 15:29

Lilitlilit · 27/02/2023 15:19

Hi! I've got a hard choice between FHRP/FHSS and Emanuel and Queens's Gate. Any recomendations?
Emanuel is our number one but still in the Waiting list. My main concern about this school is commute. We live in Kensington, so DD will have to travel by train, which I'm not ready for yet. Does anyone know which areas Emanuel children accept offers from? Are they mostly from south bank of the river or are there many like us from W8, W14? Would be nice to know if she has someone to travel with.

I commute from Clapham Junction in the mornings and there are pupils coming from all over the place travelling through the station and walking up to Emanuel. Some of them look very young. You also see a lot of Whitgift boys and girls going to various other schools. Having said that, I think Queen's Gate and FHSS/RP are excellent options to have and of course are different in that they are single sex schools.

Lilitlilit · 27/02/2023 15:45

@Vista123 Thank you for responce.
It's really difficult to predict how much DD benefit being in the bigger co-ed school while having harder commute.

kittybloom · 27/02/2023 15:55

@eglantine7 thanks for the insight re private v state. It is really helpful and a reminder to think through is the particular DC actually going to be able to take advantage of the added value of that particular school.

swgeek · 27/02/2023 16:00

@Lilitlilit I have definitely seen Emanuel kids taking the overground from Kensington Olympia - Clapham Junction, if it is easy for you to get her to Kensington Olympia overground station, it should be a very easy commute.

Vista123 · 27/02/2023 16:07

@Lilitlilit I can see your dilemma. I’ve lived near Emanuel for a long time and it’s become increasingly popular - probably because it is Co-Ed and easy to get to for many. It’s ability to academically select the more able pupils has therefore increased and that’s why it’s results are on the up. I don’t think it has a huge ‘added value’ score and this was definitely not articulated at the open day. It does seem like a happy school however. Depends what you are looking for really.

alltheleaves · 27/02/2023 16:12

@Lilitlilit lots of pupils travel on the overground to Clapham Junction and come from Shepherd's Bush, Kensington Olympia, Imperial Wharf. I get the train going in the opposite direction from CJ and there's always a huge pack leaving the train together.

SamPoodle123 · 27/02/2023 16:22

eglantine7 · 27/02/2023 12:18

@SamPoodle123 I think Godolphin is fantastic school and although going years back they seem to encourage supportive behaviour from the girls going by alumni I know. Successful women but who don't take themselves too seriously. Their leavers destination seemed fab as well; they have a lot of interesting niche university subjects which implies they are good at encouraging individuality! Maths is now very strong there too.

Thanks for the feedback. I am glad to hear this!