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Secondary education

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Original poster

Anyone not have a phone in Y7 these days?

104 replies

Areyouactuallyserious · 10/11/2022 23:33

My child’s friends all have phones, some since y5, the remaining now in y6. All use social media, WhatsApp, Snapchat, TikTok etc. Ideally I wouldn’t want my child to have a phone until secondary and no social media until 13. Is that realistic at all or do I need to manage my expectations? Trying to balance the harm of phones/social media against the harm of being excluded from something that is increasingly the norm.
Thanks!

OP posts:
SweetsAndChocolates · 10/11/2022 23:43

If they need a phone in y7, it doesn't need to be a smart phone. I would have ideally given DS a simple phone but he ended up with a hand me down (older version iPhone).
He's said some in his year have social media apps, and others don't, no one seems to think any differently. The only thing is, some won't be on the WhatsApp form group- but that doesn't make a difference as it's a very quiet group (thankfully Grin)

OldWivesTale · 11/11/2022 00:07

I think your child will be a social pariah if they don't have a smart phone at high school. It's very sad and I hate that it's like this but it is.

TeenDivided · 11/11/2022 06:14

They probably 'need' a smartphone, but they don't need every social media app going, and they will need you to monitor use.
Also schools have different attitude to phones. Some actively use them in lessons, others ban the sight if them.

Whycanineverever · 11/11/2022 06:40

Also think about keeping up with old primary friends if at a different school - mine still cuts with them all.

Chomolungma · 11/11/2022 06:44

I have three DC at secondary school and I don't know anyone who doesn't/didn't have a smartphone in year 7. Sorry OP.

janedani · 11/11/2022 06:45

We got my son a phone when he started year 7. I hadnt realised how much he would use it for school work at school. All his homework is on an app and they use them in lessons for research etc. He has whattsapp on it but he isn't interested in anything else yet...glad I got him one, we monitor it as well with family link.

Pickle1512 · 11/11/2022 06:46

You don’t have to allow the apps. You can get a smart phone and parental controls. I didn’t allow Snapchat until age 13 as I couldn’t check it. Whatsapp I allowed and kept an eye on. No tik Tok before 13.

youagainomg · 11/11/2022 06:48

Unfortunately your child will be excluded. My son has just started year 7 and a lot of socialising and school work is on the phone.

elevenplusdilemma · 11/11/2022 06:48

My DC is in year 8. Sadly, at their school they really do need a smartphone in Yr 7. There are many apps for subject specific homework, doing quizzes / tests etc that they're often asked to access in class time. Not having a smartphone would be a big disadvantage.
I have held firm on the no social media though, with the exception of WhatsApp which I allowed this year as they have a lot of group chats / calls to socialise outside of school, mainly when playing Minecraft (but I keep a very close eye on it).

GreenLeavesRustling · 11/11/2022 06:49

there are several kids in my DS Y7 without phones. They are now in Y8 - at least half a dozen across the year still don’t have phones. They are not social pariahs. They are also well out of the phone hassle that so many kids find themselves in on social media.
Notably most of the kids without phones have parents who are teachers 😂. Maybe because we see the impact on learning and the downside of social media mistakes made.

AllHailtheSlushy · 11/11/2022 06:50

My son is in Y5 and apparently he is the only one who doesn't have a phone 🙄.

DH and I have always said high school. May now be renegotiated to 10.

honiedparsnip · 11/11/2022 06:51

Don't let them have tik tok

RoachTheHorse · 11/11/2022 06:52

We have decided to get our year 6 daughter her first phone this Xmas so we can set some rules and get her used to the responsibility before starting year 7. I had similar conversations with her friends parents. I'll be setting up find my phone, no social media (except maybe WhatsApp), and all that jazz.

Mummyboy1 · 11/11/2022 06:54

Obviously it's different now with all the social media and apps, but I had a phone when I started year 7...and that was over 20 years ago! It was mostly for reassurance, if I missed the school bus or if I was out with friends. I think now they really would be the odd one out without a phone

Outtasteamandluck · 11/11/2022 07:13

Tik tok is truly worrying, even with restricted mode on they see stuff they shouldn't IMO

Jessstar · 11/11/2022 07:24

DC in y7 and they don’t have a phone. I have offered. They are not bothered. Most their friends do have phones but lots don’t have social media. My DC uses an iPad to keep in touch with closest friends via messenger. I won’t be allowing social media until 13.

I should note that my DC is taken to school and collected from school by us so doesn’t need a phone phone for safety reasons.

euff · 11/11/2022 07:25

You might want to check what the secondary school allows. My DD is year 8 and got a smartphone in year 6. The current year 7 cohort are not allowed smartphones at all. They all have dumb phones for school and were given Chromebook's by the school. Year 8 upwards can have their smartphones to and from school but out of sight in school. Sometimes teachers ask DD's class to use their phones to look things up and they do use some apps for school. We have allowed WhatsApp as they have class groups etc and do ask each other about homework etc. slowly caved on tik tok etc though she doesn't post on it.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 11/11/2022 07:30

No phone in Y7 here. We are lucky because the school doesn’t allow phones. If caught with a phone its instant detention. It’s so much better, no phone dramas.

In Y9 they are allowed a phone, but that’s a different part of the school. Not 100% on the rules of that yet.

sheepdogdelight · 11/11/2022 07:33

A lot of schools expect their students to have smartphones - they use them for taking photos of the stuff on the board, accessing apps, checking what the work set is, if the teacher is away ...

So from a purely educational point of view, I think you'd be making your DC's life harder without one.

From a social point of view, it's likely they will miss out on a lot of chat and possibly being invited to thinks if they don't have social media. Best to let them have it and monitor their use/maintain open conversation rather than banning it. (My DC both know others who have secretly had a phone their parents knew nothing abut, due to parents' strict rules. )

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 11/11/2022 07:35

Personally, I think it's better to allow your child to have a phone and at least some social media that you can monitor, as they will feel left out otherwise and may end up just doing stuff that you don't know about and can't check up on.

DD knew two kids in Year 7 who didn't have phones. One of them was given an old phone by another child and used it with WiFi and no sim to access the Internet. The other one borrowed friends' phones to create and log into their social media apps. Their parents would proudly proclaim that they weren't allowing their dc to access social media. Meanwhile, I could see what their kids were posting because I was checking my own dc's account regularly.

Kids will find a way of accessing stuff if they really want to. Better to have an open and honest dialogue about what they're doing imo than to ban it altogether.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 11/11/2022 07:36

My DS is in year 7, we’re in Aus so they’re all 12/13.

He has one of DH’s old iPhones, he’s not that fussed about phones/social
media but he’s in a class group chat (they use iMessage)

Our high school uses Yondr pouches, so the kids have to put their phones in the pouch when they get to school and then they unlock them on the way out in the afternoon.

The ‘unlockers’ are on the front gates and the teachers have them in the classrooms too in case they need to access them in class. They never do though. Surprisingly our public high school has enough laptops that they never need their phones for research/apps.

I’d say the majority of the kids have smart phones though.

DeathMetalMum · 11/11/2022 07:43

We decided to get dd1 a phone for her birthday in year 6 - well she was given an old handset of ours. Her birthday is February so gave her a few months of getting used to using a phone, and allowing her to keep in contact with friends from primary school.

I'm glad we got it in year six as there were a few minor fallings out that allowed us to have discussions on how to handle certain things. Also allowed us to set some boundaries before high school. Eg it's quite evident that some of dd's friends are allowed their phones through the night, presumably in their bedrooms, whereas dd isn't.

They use it in school, all homework is set online so she can check herself before getting the laptop out. She uses an app on her phone for her bus ticket, so doesn't take any money to school. We allowed WhatsApp not immediately, but after about a month as that was how everyone in her class communicated. No Snapchat, tiktok or other social media though. I check regularly and she knows I check.

dizzygirl1 · 11/11/2022 07:46

Ds needed a phone for his school app, it has homework, behaviour, announcers and timetable.
He already had a phoe but would have struggled without it. He's now 13 and just been allowed Snapchat as that's the age limit. Your dc can have a phone and nit have all the apps, it's not one or the other, it's management and responsibility.
Also teaching them about social media apps and how to behave on them.

Original poster
Areyouactuallyserious · 11/11/2022 07:51

Thanks for all the feedback. Really interesting and useful. Especially that some schools have a no phones policy whilst others it seems Iike it’s actually required!
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OP posts:
SereneSemolina · 11/11/2022 07:53

Ours didn't have them in primary but got them over the summer before yr 7.

No social media at all, but they do have WhatsApp. We set rules around not being in big group chats where others added randoms.

No phone upstairs and I check it.

Our school is great and doesn't allow phones out at school which reduces drama, but they do need a phone for Teams messages and homework apps.