Anyone not have a phone in Y7 these days?

[Areyouactuallyserious]

My child’s friends all have phones, some since y5, the remaining now in y6. All use social media, WhatsApp, Snapchat, TikTok etc. Ideally I wouldn’t want my child to have a phone until secondary and no social media until 13. Is that realistic at all or do I need to manage my expectations? Trying to balance the harm of phones/social media against the harm of being excluded from something that is increasingly the norm.
Thanks!

They need smart phones at my kids' school. There is a class WhatsApp group, homework is set on Teams and via email. Apps like Life360 and HollieGuard are also only available on a smart phone.

Year 7 is a good age to introduce them - when you can keep a close eye on what they're doing so by the time their teenage hormones kick in, they understand the risks.

DD has just started y7 - in a class of 32 girls, 27 of them are in the class WhatsApp group. So just 5 without phones/social media.

The ones without are missing out IMO. The girls are consolidating friendships over WhatsApp and video calls outside of school. They used their phones to arrange social stuff over half term that the others couldn't be invited to. They discuss homework online. They use their phones in some lessons.

Phones are on a "switched off and out of sight" policy at my kids school.
Homework is all set on an app, but that could be on a tablet if you don't want a phone.
DS1 (Year9) is now very chatty on whatsapp, but has no other social media.
DS2 (year7) has a few mates on whatsapp, but pretty much ignores messages.
Phones have really come into their own when issues occur. DS1 has saved me much driving by telling me after-school has been cancelled, so he's on the bus, and I don't need to drive to school after work.
DS2 had managed to lock himself out one week after moving house and calling me a)calmed him down significantly and b) got me leaving work half an hour early to rescue him (it would be the day it was pouring with rain, DS1 was over an hour away with school, and DH was working abroad.... - rare I'm the closest other key).

I would say most have a phone, and most of those are on whatsapp. DS1 gets various invites for Instagram etc but I don't know how many have accounts.

This is really interesting, the best schools in this area , the grammars, all have phone bans. They are too be switched off and kept in bags or lockers if needed for commuting. If seen they are confiscated and parents have to collect. They are really frowned upon.
Homework set on teams or email can surely be accessed on a laptop/PC

DC1 (Year 7) has a dumb phone that he can use in case of problems on the way home from school.

His school has a strict no mobile phone policy - pupils are only allowed mobiles in school if they’re kept switched off and out of sight at all times on school grounds. There’s confiscations and disciplinaries if pupils are seen with mobile phones.
So the school has no expectation or requirement for pupils to have a smartphone for doing homework or research in lessons, unlike some of the schools mentioned above.

Not sure how much lacking a smartphone matters socially outside school, but so far there’s been no complaints or requests from DC1 about smartphones.

My year 7 got a phone for secondary. Doesn't have WhatsApp, TikTok or any other social media.

He messages friends if needed. Mostly uses Pokémon Go !

DD is on Yr7 at a normal comp.

No phone needed for school. Not allowed them switched on (she doesn't take hers as we are 5 mins walk away).

There are informal wattsapp groups for clubs, friends etc. I check zdDs phone, the chat is about homework and ingredients need for Food Tech.

I don't allow Snapchat. Shes not interested in Tiktok.

I have more interesting conversations with younger DD as a couple of her classmates have YouTube channels (they are 9, this has gone on for a while) about why I don't allow it!

She has needed a laptop for homework though... its mostly online. Its quite good actually... she was doing French listening yesterday. She knows straight away if she gets her maths wrong. Her English is tailored to her (dyslexia).

Mine have a both got a basic phone, not a smart phone, they don't need one at all in their school, thank goodness, as that would have made me seriously reconsider sending them there. Homework on line is done on the family laptop if need be.

Op you can control what your dc do on the phone and track them as they start to go out without you for the first time. If your child needs public transport to get to school then I think it’s essential that they can let you know if they’re going to be late. My dds also need phones for homework.

So those are the practical reasons. You can’t get around that these days a lot relationships are built / enhanced with phones. It’s not just online dating but both dcs had taster days at their schools and swapped numbers with other people. They were able to chat over the summer. Dd2 has autism - so lots of communication problems - but over the summer the girls had chatted about pets, sent pictures over, sent jokes, links to memes, music they like. And as I put dd in a different school to most of her friends it was comforting for her to know she could stay in touch with her old friends. I knew that those old friendships would soon get forgotten about but to her big school with new people was overwhelming, she missed her friends, and her phone - closely monitored by me - was very helpful.

Just avoid tiktok and Instagram

Because, of course all homes have a laptop or PC ...

@sheepdogdelight that was in response to the person who said a child having their own smart phone was essential for homework. A tablet, laptop or PC would suffice and doesn't have to be one specifically for the child. Not all homes have them, but I'd imagine they would struggle to afford a smartphone for an 11 year old too

Re online homework... DDs school has the computer labs open for 90mins after school for any pupil that needs them.

Our schools have no phone policies so they aren't allowed them in school. 2 different secondary schools here, both have teams for homework but they both have (different) apps apps for their timetables, behaviour/points/announcements and the homework for ds (all homework set on the app)

Are you living in the right century? It absolutely does need to be a smart phone. Unless your child's school are still doing everything 'old school'?

At my daughter's school, and my son's school (different secondaries), and actually all the secondary schools in our area, all use things like Teams, Google Classroom, etc to communicate. Teachers post up homework and assignments on teams, children communicate with their teachers if they have a question at home etc....

To not have a smart phone in year 7 would put you at a disadvantage.

Dd2 is Y7. She has what's Ap for texting with her friends. The school has now banned phones at school - compared with Dd1 who is a few years older & was encouraged to use phone st school, dd2 doesn't access it for the whole school day.

I've never used Teams but you seem to be saying it's something you can only use on a smart phone, is that right? Because if not, why not use a laptop or a tablet, instead of giving your kid internet in their pocket? As I said, my kids don't have a smart phone, but all their school work that can be done on line doesn't require a smart phone, just an internet connection and the right passwords.

There’s a complete phone ban at DS’s school too; they are only allowed to have them for travelling with special permission from their HOY, and even then they must hand them in to reception on arriving and collect them at home time. This is an ordinary comprehensive. Most homework is online and set via an app, but DS just uses the iPad or laptop at home.

He’s in y7 and does have a “dumb phone” (thanks whoever used that expression, I love it 😂), a basic Nokia so he can call me when he gets home and I’m still at work (we don’t have a landline) and call or text friends. He doesn’t seem that bothered about lack of WhatsApp etc; he has ASD and has absorbed the message (via various online safety lessons at school) that social media can be harmful, so in his rigid thought process he’s decided it’s best to avoid completely rather than trying to navigate complexities that he won’t be able to understand. I don’t know how this will play out in the future, but for now he’s content and is making new friends without it.

BTW, you can use Teams on a PC or tablet. You don’t need a phone!

Yes of course. But the ability to do a quick quiz on the bus is always useful

DS y8 has a dumb phone. It has been totally fine. He uses an old laptop at home to check homework app, do quizzes etc. I'm trying to put off smartphone as long as poss. I do think it's very telling lots of tech execs don't let their young kids have one. www.waituntil8th.org/blog/2019/4/3/parent-like-a-tech-exec

DD in year 7 has a dumb phone (Nokia), so no social media, WhatsApp etc. She has the phone so she can contact us when traveling to/from school.

I think the only reason she has agreed to this is because DD's school has smart phone ban in year 7 and many of her friends have similar phone when they are in school. The school uses Microsoft Teams for homework etc and she has access to it and email from a laptop.

In year 8 the school smart phone ban will be lifted, and I think we will definitely have to give her a smartphone then.

But we have agreed that she would stick to the minimum age rating for the app, so no TikTok until 13 etc. I don't know how realistic this is though since most of her friends already have access to social media and WhatsApp and she does feel excluded.

Children have their parents old handsets on PAYG deals.
Or phones on cheap contracts. That's more affordable than buying a laptop/PC up front.

During the lockdown it was made very clear that very many children didn't have access to a suitable device at phone (and if they did it might only a smartphone with limited data).

The assumption on this thread that children must have a laptop at home is quite staggering!

@sheepdogdelight see I find the assumption that eleven year old children need their own smart phone more staggering.
In the situation you describe they can use a parent's phone if necessary surely?

Who says they all have phones? My experience was that my child said ALL her friends had smart phones (well before year 7). She's now year 8 and it turns out quite a few friends not only have very limited screen time but don't have their own phone at all

Yes, if the parent is at home and happy for them to do so (and has data that they can use).

We live in a digital world. Accessing it without a smartphone (or a tablet, laptop or other device) is increasingly difficult.