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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Are girls only that bad ?

99 replies

Onthedowns · 20/10/2022 19:09

We previously discounted girls only for the usual reasons. Socialisation. Bullying etc

However we have recently viewed one and DD loves it I was extremely impressed and felt very welcome. It's a great academically lots of sports etc. We prefer this over our local academy which is 10 minutes walk away

However we have had lots of negativity from family and other people.

It's making us doubt ourselves and certainly DD her decision.

OP posts:

romdowa · 20/10/2022 19:14

I went to a mixed secondary for my countries equivalent of the gcses and I hated it , the lads were loud disruptive in class and very rowdy in the corridors.
I went to an all girls for the a level equivalent and I loved it, no acting out in class, pushing in the corridors and just a more mature and calm vibe.
There was some bitchyness but the calm atmosphere made up for that.
My worst bullies during my gcses were lads, I had my skirt pulled up, bag stolen , I was stabbed with a protractor, locker broken into , books vandalised, name calling, pushing and just general abuse , all from guys.

MadMadMadamMim · 20/10/2022 19:17

There are endless studies revealing that girls do better in single sex schools.

SlagathaChristie · 20/10/2022 19:19

I loved the all girls school I attended. Teenage boys are not that great to be around (although we did all have boyfriends and male friends anyway, but it was nice to not have to deal with them in school).

mewkins · 20/10/2022 19:19

Hi OP, I can only speak from my dd's experience as she is in Yr 8 at a girls' school. It wasn't our first choice (chose a mixed closer to home) but I'm SO glad she's there. She has really come into her own and has a lovely tight knit group of girls who are 'allowed' to still be young iyswim? There is no shame in working hard and doing well (when I was at a mixed school there were a lot of insults thrown around if you tried hard). Another big plus is that she doesn't have to dull down her character, appeal to boys or learn to rebuff boys or placate them. I'm sure there are soke awful experiences of girls' schools out there but I have absolutely no complaints with the education my dd is experiencing.

Who knows if she will turn out to be rubbish at relationships, go crazy at uni, etc. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But she's allowed to be proud of who she is and enjoy education, for which I am really grateful.

VeryQuaintIrene · 20/10/2022 19:20

I loved mine and if your daughter loves it, it's her education and no one else's business (except yours, arguably!) I truly believe that the negativity about girls' schools at least partly originates in misogyny and it pisses me off.

Seasidemumma77 · 20/10/2022 19:21

Loved the all girls secondary I went to.

Binjob118 · 20/10/2022 19:21

My girls all went to girls schools. I think the issues of sexual bullying were a factor for me in this choice. There is bad behaviour in every school, but for younger girls an all female school can be a great learning environment. Also, less pressure to dress up to impress boys. Most schools have mixed sixth forms, but at 16 I feel girls are better equipped to deal with inappropriate behaviour.

Binjob118 · 20/10/2022 19:24

VeryQuaintIrene · 20/10/2022 19:20

I agree. It's not something I've come across, I just don't understand why.

Boomboom22 · 20/10/2022 19:27

I loved mine. Evidence suggests girls do better academically and are more likely to study science to a high level. I work in a mixed sex school and boys are certainly louder and take up space as it were, physically and psychologically.
I also went to lots of clubs and had plenty of male friends out of school so didn't miss out there, although some did.

NaeQueen · 20/10/2022 19:27

My DD has just started Y7 at a girls' school. She was very keen on going to a single sex school and I was really impressed with the school when Iooked round.

So far she is doing really well. She's said it's much calmer in class without boys and there isn't the same silliness. She's not had any issues with bitchiness or similar yet, but I'm sure it could happen. The school does a lot to try and foster a feeling of female empowerment though so I'd hope they would clamp down on bad behaviour really fast. I've been impressed with the pastoral care so far, they are well set up to deal with the kind of issues girls present with.

I'm glad she can focus on the STEM subjects she enjoys without any preconceptions about what is a girls or boys subject. The school has a mixed 6th Form so it's not entirely free of boys.

And given our very sexualised culture at the moment I'm glad she's not having to deal with male bullshit during the day.

Kite22 · 20/10/2022 19:28

Same as @VeryQuaintIrene and @Binjob118
I've only read or heard these comments on MN.

I went to an all girls' school back in the day, and loved it.
My dc all went to single sex schools too - not that we were particularly looking for that as a factor, but simply because, where we live those were the two 'best' schools. My dds didn't encounter girls being "all that bad" and I never heard negative comments about the concept of going to an all girls' school either.

HairyHandedSonOfTroll · 20/10/2022 19:29

My DC were all at single sex schools, and I don't regret it for a second.

SandraOMG · 20/10/2022 19:30

MadMadMadamMim · 20/10/2022 19:17

There are endless studies revealing that girls do better in single sex schools.

This^^

KathieFerrars · 20/10/2022 19:30

I teach all girls. You realise once you teach all girls how much they are ignored and how subdued their characters are in a mixed environment. Girls can be themselves without negotiating the daily sexual crap that they do come across from boys on their way to school. I miss teaching boys in a lot of ways because they are funny, take risks and get sarcasm but if I had a girl I would deffo send her to all girls.

pastypirate · 20/10/2022 19:30

I sent dd1 to a girls grammar because I didn't want her to have to deal with the shitty behaviour in a comp. She's very studious. She loves it and I'm so glad we did it.

PatChaunceysFruitCake · 20/10/2022 19:31

I was very happy at an all girls school and DD has chosen one as her first choice (she's in yr6).

I'm always mystified by the suggestion they will be bitchy. Surely that's just the same in a mixed school?

ThingsIhavelearnt · 20/10/2022 19:31

MadMadMadamMim · 20/10/2022 19:17

There are endless studies revealing that girls do better in single sex schools.

This

itsgettingweird · 20/10/2022 19:35

I went to a mixed comprehensive. It's was a great school.

But I always wanted to go to the girls school in the city. I would have definitely pushed for that if we hadn't moved out of it as I neared the end of juniors!

I also loved the environment when we looked around and really fancied the idea of single sex.

I don't think it's better but I do think the local school isn't the best for all catchment kids. Secondary schools vary so much in what they offer course wise as well as size and facilities, sports available and extra curricula etc that I would chose the school your dd feels is the best fit for her.

If that's single sex then so be it.

YukoandHiro · 20/10/2022 19:39

I went to single sex secondary and loved it. I think it's very freeing and hugely beneficial for girls. I had no idea til I went to uni that maths and physics were considered "male" subjects for example

OldWivesTale · 20/10/2022 19:43

I went to a mixed school and was sexually harassed every single day. The evidence suggests that girls do better at single sex schools, although I would avoid any that are super pushy/ competitive. I think in principle single sex schools are good - for girls - but it depends on the individual school. But if your daughter liked the school then I'd go for it.

OldWivesTale · 20/10/2022 19:45

I also noticed when I went to uni that most of the super confident girls in my classes had been to single sex schools; I think we underestimate just how much space boys take up in mixed schools.

TheHauntedPencilCase · 20/10/2022 19:46

I went to single sex and would have sent my kids to one if I'd had girls. If she liked it I would go for it.

whiteroseredrose · 20/10/2022 19:48

I loved my all girls school and DD loved hers.

No bitchiness - until we went to mixed sixth form.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 20/10/2022 20:29

Thank you. We have had comments regarding socialisation and she won't know how to act and behave around boys. She's very sport and has a brother albeit younger 😂. However she won't be alienated from boys.

It isn't competitive but very academic and consistent higher than average progress 8. All the facilities are there just a slightly older school. It's is co of e school but 80 of students arent heavily religious or go to church.

Things like uniform dress etc is I expect slightly stricter but I don't see as a bad thing.

Our local academy sparkling facilites but consistently below average progress 8 although improving but it is very large and walking around the usual sexism was in some subject rooms -boys on DT. Albeit not the schools fault.

We have friends whose girls go there and they have had some friendship issues bit nothing horrendous.

Sister in law even said to DD 'you dont want go to all girls do you ?' it's put her off

OP posts:

Original poster

Onthedowns · 20/10/2022 20:30

She does get on well with boys and has struggled on occasion with a bit of meanness from girls. I think she says boys just make her laugh doing silly things but think normal primary jinx

OP posts:

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