Page 4 | Are girls only that bad ?

Onthedowns · 2022-10-20T18:09:10+00:00

We previously discounted girls only for the usual reasons. Socialisation. Bullying etc However we have recently viewed one and DD loves it I was extremely impressed and felt very welcome. It's a great academically lots of sports etc. We prefer this over our local academy which is 10 minutes walk away However we have had lots of negativity from family and other people. It's making us doubt ourselves and certainly DD her decision.

Smilelesstalkmore · 21/10/2022 19:26

I went to an all girls secondary school. I was the eldest of three girls and all the hobbies I did were dominated by girls, so basically I very, very rarely interacted with any males of my own age from the age of 11-17. When I started going out I did meet boys, but I had no idea how to talk to them or anything and
never had any boyfriends or anything, then ended up having quite a few regretable encounters at uni because I felt like I had to make up for lost time or something! Even now in the workplace and socially I am quite uncomfortable around most blokes compared to women.

I don't know how much of that is attributed to going to an all girls school, and obviously not all girls who go to single sex schools have my experience. But I would say that if you decide to go down that route then try and get your daughter to mix with males of her age outside of school so that they are not a completely alien species to her!

OperaStation · 21/10/2022 19:41

Most people would go out of their way to get their daughters into an all girls school. You are very lucky to have the option.

Is it greycoat hospital by any chance?

XelaM · 21/10/2022 20:06

I find it so ironic that posters keep saying how wonderful single sex education is for girls because they can succeed in STEM subjects without having to deal with misogyny and having to compete with boys 🤔What?! How sexist is that? Why do girls need special treatment and can't compete with boys? The best students in my co-ed school were girls. It never occurred to me (or them) that boys were somehow superior and girls needed their own space to not have to compete with them. 🤷‍♀️

XelaM · 21/10/2022 20:08

I also know several people who took their daughters out of all-girls schools because there was awful bullying, but that depends on the actual school I guess.

XelaM · 21/10/2022 20:11

@OperaStation Most people would go out of their way to get their daughters into an all girls school.

Not me. I actively avoided them.

Marmee53 · 22/10/2022 03:10

I went to an all girls school and I've also taught in an all girls school.

As a student, I absolutely loved it. When I started college, despite not having any male interaction with anyone in or out of school I was absolutely fine around boys.

From a teacher's perspective, the behaviour between only girls and mixed didn't vary much at all.

mewkins · 22/10/2022 06:39

XelaM · 21/10/2022 20:06

I find it so ironic that posters keep saying how wonderful single sex education is for girls because they can succeed in STEM subjects without having to deal with misogyny and having to compete with boys 🤔What?! How sexist is that? Why do girls need special treatment and can't compete with boys? The best students in my co-ed school were girls. It never occurred to me (or them) that boys were somehow superior and girls needed their own space to not have to compete with them. 🤷‍♀️

girlsschools.org/advocacy/blog/2019/02/08/why-girls-schools-students-are-successful-in-stem/

This explains it.

mewkins · 22/10/2022 06:40

Sorry, American but you get the idea

Withholdingvitalinfo · 22/10/2022 07:24

Definitely the all girls from absolutely everything you have posted!

my DD now in sixth form is at an all girls grammar. She absolutely loves it there - she fell in love with it when she visited in Y5. She has the same group of friends that she met on day 1 of Y7, it’s just grown. Started as a group of 4 and is now around 12. They are all lovely girls and the whole year from what I’ve seen is accepting, generous and thoughtful. There’s very little bitchiness in any of her year - in fact if something ever happens she hears about it’s relayed in detail as it’s so unusual and the feeling is of sadness.

There are boys now in sixth form and one has joined her group. It’s no biggie - she also has an elder brother but still thinks boys are mainly dumb and annoying lol. I think the whole “won’t be able to socialise with boys if you go to an all girls school” is massively over-egged and really not a thing these days. And FWIW I went to all girls schools and my best friend for 5 years from 14-19 was a boy. (Not a boyfriend)

it’s probably projection by others based on their own poor experiences so I’d ignore.

Withholdingvitalinfo · 22/10/2022 07:27

XelaM · 21/10/2022 20:06

I find it so ironic that posters keep saying how wonderful single sex education is for girls because they can succeed in STEM subjects without having to deal with misogyny and having to compete with boys 🤔What?! How sexist is that? Why do girls need special treatment and can't compete with boys? The best students in my co-ed school were girls. It never occurred to me (or them) that boys were somehow superior and girls needed their own space to not have to compete with them. 🤷‍♀️

It’s not one size fits all.

my DD is shy and likes to melt into the background. Girls only makes her feel safer and more able to participate in class. I really noticed this at Rainbows/Brownies and then Guides when she was at a mixed primary. She came out of herself so much more in an all girls environment.

Gizlotsmum · 22/10/2022 07:28

My daughter is at an all girls school, she has a close but group if friends, is confident , hasn’t had to deal with any bitchiness. They do co-Ed for 6th form and the school bus drops at 2 other schools and she definitely doesn’t regret her choice. It is a grammar school so that might make a difference too

Original poster

Onthedowns · 22/10/2022 08:45

Thank you all. This isn't a grammar or private just a standard academically good girls school. Slight CofE influence but nothing heavy.

I find it strange the comments about not being able to interact with boys properly after attending. This is DH concern slightly but surely this is managed outside of school ? DD doesn't massively learn in twos or small groups with boys currently. She's plays sport with some?

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Original poster

Onthedowns · 27/10/2022 22:23

mewkins · 22/10/2022 06:39

girlsschools.org/advocacy/blog/2019/02/08/why-girls-schools-students-are-successful-in-stem/

This explains it.

Show quote history

This is interesting reading and backs up my thoughts.

DD loves the all girls but still having second thoughts 😬.

Progress 8 for our local is still minus figures the all girls still above average. She has a mix of friends going to both schools

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pumpkinelvis · 27/10/2022 22:38

I went to an all girls grammar and loved it.best days of my life. The friends I had there are still my best friends now and we've all did well for ourselves. I didn't experience any bullying and also didn't see any. School was a really safe space for me. I don't feel mixed sex schools are as safe for females at present.

My dc is coming up to secondary age and I'd prefer her to go to a girls grammar, rather than a mixed grammar. Ultimately it will be a shared decision.

I never had issues interacting with boys and my dc has more opportunities to engage with boys than I ever had- amateur swim Club, water polo and performing arts etc.

ddlondonmummy · 27/10/2022 23:18

I am a secondary teacher. I used to teach in coed and currently I teach in single sex girls only school. Girls do much better in single sex environment!!!!- I see that every single day. If it is a good school go for it. And in future If a have a daughter I would like her to go girls only school.

Mojoj · 27/10/2022 23:21

I absolutely loved my all girls school. I felt supported, encouraged, safe and nurtured. I did very well academically and always said I would look for a similar set up if I had a daughter (but ended up with all boys)😃

Cookingutensil · 28/10/2022 01:04

I didn't like school, bit one positive about my single sex secondary is that I was utterly free of any sexual harassment - that aspect was bliss. In my primary school I constantly had boys harassing me, lifting my skirt, crawling under the table to see my pants, kicking footballs at us girls - looking back, we were fodder for their amusement, all under the radar of course 😢 I learnt many things; not to bend down, not to play sport etc etc Single sex all the way for my girls.

diar · 28/10/2022 07:20

Out of interest, has the sexual harrassment aspect at girls' schools changed at all now that many more young people are identifying as transgender or are more fluid about their sexuality? In my day at an all girls' grammar school in the 90s there was a fair bit of bullying around sexual orientation - girls bullied because they were perceived to be gay (largely because they weren't into boys and make-up, not because they showed any sign of actually being gay) - and quite vicious gossip and rumour over who fancied whom - I'm just wondering whether that's changed now, either for better or worse?

reluctantbrit · 28/10/2022 08:43

@diar DD identifies as bi, some of her friends as well and one battles the parents to be allowed to identify as a boy in the school's registrar (official documents still show the birth name and she/her).

As far as I am awar, this is not causing any issues. There are unisex toilets available in some areas (single cubicle, not sharing sinks etc), the school has regular trans/LBGTQ+ parents mornings where the parents can talk to support staff how to respond to their teens/get advice/talk to the teachers about any issues.

The school in general is very keen to stomp out bullying and will respond fast to any parent raising an issue or if they see/hear it themselves.

So it may depend on the school but so far we had good experiences.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 28/10/2022 09:05

Mojoj · 27/10/2022 23:21

I absolutely loved my all girls school. I felt supported, encouraged, safe and nurtured. I did very well academically and always said I would look for a similar set up if I had a daughter (but ended up with all boys)😃

This is the impression I get from this school. DD loves it but various comments have been made about no boys and it's put her off slightly. She is a bit if all rounder at school and likes sports but i don't see her at the academy 10 mins walk. It's massive, it's progress 8 is just hit bottom of average this year, previous years well below average. Lack of gcse options behavioural issues bad reputation, its ofsted is improving but i get the impression it's throwing money at issues.

The girls only was slightly smaller higher academically, more naturing, tons of sports. Uniform is slightly antiquated maybe skirts below the knee above the ankle 😬 and but DD loved it when looking around and I think she would thrive she's a clever girl

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Original poster

Onthedowns · 29/10/2022 10:13

Withholdingvitalinfo · 22/10/2022 07:24

Definitely the all girls from absolutely everything you have posted!

my DD now in sixth form is at an all girls grammar. She absolutely loves it there - she fell in love with it when she visited in Y5. She has the same group of friends that she met on day 1 of Y7, it’s just grown. Started as a group of 4 and is now around 12. They are all lovely girls and the whole year from what I’ve seen is accepting, generous and thoughtful. There’s very little bitchiness in any of her year - in fact if something ever happens she hears about it’s relayed in detail as it’s so unusual and the feeling is of sadness.

There are boys now in sixth form and one has joined her group. It’s no biggie - she also has an elder brother but still thinks boys are mainly dumb and annoying lol. I think the whole “won’t be able to socialise with boys if you go to an all girls school” is massively over-egged and really not a thing these days. And FWIW I went to all girls schools and my best friend for 5 years from 14-19 was a boy. (Not a boyfriend)

it’s probably projection by others based on their own poor experiences so I’d ignore.

This is really helpful. Thank you . We have had lots of comments about not being able to socialise around boys. She has friends outside of school etc and clubs. However these comments are making her doubt her positivity and now DH has started

I think there are some big misconceptions re girls only

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ballonsinhightrees · 29/10/2022 10:16

Went to one and now teach in an all girls comp. Would happily send my own daughter to all girls as they are more able to be themselves.
Bitching and bullying is everywhere but magnified when teenage boys are thrown into the mix.
Have taught in all boys too and very much favour single sex teaching as the needs of the groups are so different and require changes in pedagogy.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 29/10/2022 12:03

ballonsinhightrees · 29/10/2022 10:16

Went to one and now teach in an all girls comp. Would happily send my own daughter to all girls as they are more able to be themselves.
Bitching and bullying is everywhere but magnified when teenage boys are thrown into the mix.
Have taught in all boys too and very much favour single sex teaching as the needs of the groups are so different and require changes in pedagogy.

Thank you

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soweneo · 29/10/2022 14:25

@OperaStation I must be in the minority then as I really didn’t want my DD’s to go to an all girls - I went to one and so did my nieces and I wanted to launch my own girls in to the world feeling they could hold their own from day 1. They don’t for a second feel held back by boys they love competing with them academically. They love beating them too. Just like they like beating girls. (Not always of course, they aren’t Mensa material 😂😂)