Girls not allowed to use toilet during lessons - what to do?

[tigerbear]

DD has just begun secondary at an all girls school. It’s written into the school policy that they aren’t allowed to visit the toilet either during lessons, or inbetween lessons, ONLY at morning break and lunchtime.
Aside from the dangers of ‘holding it in’, I’m concerned about the discomfort and embarrassment of young girls who are just starting their periods, and getting used to all that entails.

DD and I had a chat last night about periods (the signs are there that she may start soon), and she said she’s concerned about starting at school and it showing on her clothes. I told her that if she does start, just to ask to go to the loo, but she said they aren’t allowed.

Has anyone else ever challenged their DD’s school on this policy, and if so, what was the outcome?

Yeah it’s wrong, even as an adult I can’t just regulate my need to pee to set times someone gives me.

Bad policy by the school, I’d be challenging that.

Challenge the school.
My parents did and the rules are more relaxed now.
If she needs to go she needs to go.

I still can't believe in this day and age that kids are being denied access to the toilet. Two opportunities in a day is not enough, what if they forget to use, what if the queues are so long there is no time.

In secondary school they toilets were locked so even if you were allowed to leave the lesson you couldn't use them anyway. I remember at break time going to use the toilet and teacher forgot to unlock them 🥴

Exactly @Lilypickles1 ! DD has to be really reminded about the importance of drinking enough water throughout the day as it is- she rarely drinks a full bottle of water, but has just started trying to drink more, so needs the loo more often. She said she nearly wet herself the other day, as needed to hold it in until home time.

@ChaToilLeam and @girlmom21 how long do you think I should give it before saying something? I’m very conscious of being ‘that parent’ so early on, and the school is known for being very strict and unbending with their rules.

Unless this is the first year that girls have been at the school it will be something they have come across before. You might find that there are exceptions for periods so it it worth asking for clarification rather than challenging as a first step.

Shit like this is part of the reason we won’t be opting into the school system. It’s just unnecessary policing designed to control, not help.

I distinctly remember having the surprise arrival of my period in the early days, leaking and not being able to leave class. It was awful. Personally I’d be challenging the school and teaching your daughter if she needs to leave to just leave and you will back her up.

Not to mention the risk of UTIs from holding in and not drinking enough water to avoid the loo

This makes me SO angry that this is still the case in schools.

I suffered bladder issues at school and I was given a bright yellow card which I had to show, with much humiliation, in classes if I needed to go.... because toilet visits were otherwise banned.

Since when did we have to justify a simple human right such as needing the toilet? Particularly at an age where these young people are learning to navigate periods. Not to mention the health dangers from "holding it in"

I think it's disgusting and you are absolutely well within your right to complain to the school.

How long is the gap between school starting and break, the break to lunch, then lunch to home time? If each are no more than 2 hours then there's no reason why they should need the toilet except in exceptional circumstances eg period starting. It was the same when I was at school.

I rarely use the toilet at work between starting at 9.30 and lunch at 1pm, that's 3.5 hours.

My mum used to say to me just leave the classroom and use it, but they were locked up anyway. Do schools still lock the toilets up?

If they didn't have these rules the kids wouldn't go in break and would instead deliberately miss class.

I'm a teacher at a girls school (it could even be your school!). We have a similar policy and I told my form yesterday they should be going to the toilet at break and lunchtime.. however, I also said that if it's an emergency and you really need to go just ask the teacher. The policy is there but teachers, especially in a girls school, will understand and won't ever stop a child from going to the toilet. I've had pupils tell me discretly in the lesson they think they have leaked on their period and need to go to the toilet, it's honestly not an issue, and I was glad they felt they could tell me.
The policy is there more for the very small number of girls who will go to the toilet every lesson for 10 minutes just to get out of class. I've had lessons where every 5 minutes someone is asking to go to the toilet and it's disruptive. They could have gone at lunchtime but didn't want to miss social time - simple as.
On the other hand, teacher's have to hold it in as we can't leave the classroom!

I could flood out in an hour

This 100%

I just think as young people, there shouldn't have to be a justification.. in the same where that you shouldn't have to justify your reason to your boss if you need to go.

These are young adults and we should treat them with respect

Check what the actual rules are.
Ours is: nobody can go during first or final lesson of the day unless there is a pressing need.
It's pragmatic.
Kid 1 goes to the loo every hour. Everybody knows she's going to meet her mate from another class/waste time/have a fab.
Kid 2 rarely goes. You know if she puts her hand up, she needs to go genuinely.
It's not hard.

Completely agree. I think it's absolutely shocking!

I often see on here people quoting UTIs when you hold in too long - but how long is too long?

DS lessons are 50 minutes, surely no one is getting UTIs from waiting more than 50 minutes to go to the toilet?

(I understand in the OPs situation it's different as their school have said they can't go between lessons, which is ridiculous!)

But at DS school, with the exception of emergency situations (sudden upset tummy or for periods) I can't see any reason why pupils would need to leave class to use the bathroom.

l was a teacher for 27 years.

The main reasons they are not allowed out in lessons, is this is when most vandalism happens.

Teachers can check toilets on duty at dinner and break. There’s no one to check during lesson.

The last straw in the school l taught in was a trend for going to the toilet in lesson, turning all the taps on, and then leaving, causing 1000’s of pounds of damage. After this happened 3 times, they were only allowed to go at dinner and break. But we could override this if they were desperate.

And if there is a medical problem such as UTI, IBS or heavy periods just let the school know and they can pass it on to the teachers. But for most people not going to the toilet for an hour or two is fine.

My dd attends a mixed state school and they had a similar rule. My dd said girls would ask to go to the loo but be refused. A couple of times she said girls have stood up regardless and said "sorry Miss, my period has just started and I need a pad" and walked out of the class. Good for the girls for being brave, but the teacher actually gave them detention!

Its so wrong i mean.. you dont see workplaces policing adults going to the loo so why children?

Our daughters school has a similar rule. My older daughter left school last year. I’m not worried about UTI or flooding risks as I trust the school teachers are sensible.
The rules are for guidance. A teacher is well aware of the students who just want to go and meet mates and also the ones that rarely asked to go so it would be needed.
My younger year 8 daughter did panic as she has just started her period - i reassured her that if it’s an emergency the teachers are fine to be asked.

Sadly some teenagers push boundaries and take the mick so rules are needed.

This !

ive had nothing but issues with it , my girls are currently 12/14 , both have had accidents because of it , they categorically aren’t allowed to use the toilet even if they have started there period mid lessons or there pads need changing resulting in them regularly soiling in their self

so few toilets 1310 pupils , the queues mean they can line up all break and still not be able to go before the bell goes , they often spend half there lunch in queues

The toilet facilities their selves are disgusting , 9/10 there’s no toilet roll or running water or soap and bins over flowing

there school like most are a joke they reasoning is it disturbs lessons and a few pupils misbehaving, it’s simple punishing those pupils with genuine needs , it’s totally unfair to make people soil there selfs and then expect them to sit in it all day not to mention the embarrassment

school have requested a medical letter stating they need the toilet , going to the toilet as and when needed is a basic human right