Intimidating teacher

[chillie]

My son came home yesterday and told me that 8 boys including him in yr 10 were locked in a classroom with and by their chemistry teacher in clubs time until all the rubics cubes were handed in. After they were handed in she proceeded to shout at them that they had been disrespectful. When asked by one boy what was it that he had said or done to be disrespectful she unlocked the door and told them to all leave. She didn't answer him.
Today the same 8 boys were told by the head of year and an assistant headteacher that young female teachers can be intimidated by them and they should be more aware of how they behave.
This is in a super selective grammar school. All boys my son included can behave badly but I really feel that this was inappropriate to say to the boys. They are 14, all black or Asian and nobody shouted at her, swore or approached her. Surely if you are intimidated by teen boys then you don't take a job at an all boys secondary school?
My son who is not in her form tells me that other boys say she often locks the door, can't control the class and sometimes cries. I feel worried about this teacher, it doesn't sound like she is coping. I think she needs help. No teacher should need to lock the door, I would expect the teacher to have enough authority that the boys would not dare leave until given permission. Am I expecting too much?

@Mistressiggi

Good luck with "demanding" to meet the teacher. Not a chance would I meet with a parent like that. Can be dealt with through my boss. The locked door - bad idea! Schools I've worked in mostly had doors with a knob you turned to lock them. So if you did, anyone who wanted to could just as easily open it. Bit different if it's a key to open it.

and this is why I would never send my DC to state school, even a grammar. Teachers like this.

Abusive and violent behaviour yes, I could understand a teacher refusing to see the OP. But some lump refusing to give a rubiks cube back and the OP kid was just there with the others??

I suspect that the teacher didn’t know which ‘lump’ had it.

Is this a voluntary club - the teacher is doing this for no pay?

You call the school and demand to meet with said teacher and find out what the fucks going on.

This sort of attitude is part of the problem.

Demanding 'what the fuck' is going on, is not an appropriate action.

Calling the school and asking for a teacher to let you know what happened would be ok, as long as you are prepared to wait for a reply.

Being deliberately antagonistic gets you nowhere.

Hi OP I completely understand why you mentioned their race. Black and asian boys are often treated as men whilst they are still children. Subconscious racism can make people feel intimidated by black and asian children when they wouldn't feel like that about white children. Its absolutely a factor. It just makes a lot of people uncomfortable because they dont want to address the issue

@Frlrlrubert

Poor woman probably thought a super-selective school would be easier behaviour wise. I guess 14 year old boys are pains in the arse wherever you go.

But, no, she shouldn't be locking the door.

Have a think about how, exactly, she could 'have more authority'. What is it that she doesn't have? I'm assuming 'club time' is voluntary, so she's giving up her time for their benefit, but they still have so little respect they are refusing to give back equipment. It's club time, so it can hardly be blamed on 'poor teaching'. Is it because she's young? Female? Because others have said that she's easy to wind up and they wanted a go?

I say that as a Chemistry teacher who's just handed my notice in because I am so done with 'behaviour management' and losing learning time to shit like this. I signed up to teach, not to negotiate for my bloody magnets back and have to keep half an eye open for kids throwing rubbers at each other. How can they be trusted with chemicals when they can't give a Rubik's cube back?

Hopefully she'll get support from management, otherwise, don't worry, she'll be off soon with stress and hopefully the school will hire someone the boys find it easier to 'respect'.

This with bells on. Their race has nothing to do with it - except of course if they are accusing her of being racist to deflect from their shitty dire behaviour.

Sounds like the teacher gave up her time unpaid and they ducked her over and refused to hand them back etc and rather then tell your son he is grounded and take his phone - you accuse the teacher of not coping.

No matter some rugger type male teacher will be along to replace her when she goes off with stress and then they can finally respect a man doing the same job heh?

Being a part of the intimidating group is guilty enough. I feel sorry for the teacher. And you passionately defending him, even though he didn't personally do it, gives a bad impression, tbh.

I do really hope this young teacher gets proper support, so she can give up teaching.

You must know what's it's like, I do. I have 13 years old, soon to be 14. Sometimes it's really hard to talk sense with him. Still a child, but old enough to argue. Having 8 of them, most of them being disrespectful and couldn't careless? Well maybe I can handle them now but when I was young and inexperienced? Have some understanding and support for young teacher, if you are teacher yourself, imo.

*so she can carry on without giving up teaching.
That did sounds horrible.

@1Micem0use

Hi OP I completely understand why you mentioned their race. Black and asian boys are often treated as men whilst they are still children. Subconscious racism can make people feel intimidated by black and asian children when they wouldn't feel like that about white children. Its absolutely a factor. It just makes a lot of people uncomfortable because they dont want to address the issue

this.

If they had surrounded her and threatened to hit her, they'd all be expelled.

A lot of battered teachers posting, defending someone who isn't fit for the job.

I was intimidated by a 13 year old boy this week. He is bigger than me and he was angry. I stood in his way to prevent him leaving the room.
His defiance was the reason for my feeling intimidated.

@Hercisback

You call the school and demand to meet with said teacher and find out what the fucks going on.

This sort of attitude is part of the problem.

Demanding 'what the fuck' is going on, is not an appropriate action.

Calling the school and asking for a teacher to let you know what happened would be ok, as long as you are prepared to wait for a reply.

Being deliberately antagonistic gets you nowhere.

If someone is locking up my son, its appropriate to want to know.

If he's done something wrong he should be punished, but this doesn't sound right, in any school. A teacher locking up 8 teenage boys just sounds like a teacher desperately out of their depth.

There is every possibility that my sons behaviour might have been intimidating

And we wonder why so many men grow up to treat women like shit.

This is not about their race.

Yes many black and Asian boys are stereotyped but in this instance they were acting like entitled males trying to dominate and intimidate a female because they could smell her weakness.

You find it’s often the ones who attend private and grammar schools that think they’re better than other people.
She needs to go and work at a state school where most of the boys show respect for female employees but more importantly you need to show your son (who will soon be a man) that intimidating women is completely unacceptable behaviour.

I have worked with extremely difficult teenage boys, many of which are over 6ft but these boys sound awful and I dread to think how they’re going to treat women when they grow up.

@MrsHamlet

I was intimidated by a 13 year old boy this week. He is bigger than me and he was angry. I stood in his way to prevent him leaving the room. His defiance was the reason for my feeling intimidated.

If 13 year old boys intimidate you, you have no business being a teacher

I'll bear that advice in mind, @namethattunein1

I'd like to see you handle the specific situation. But clearly you know far better than I.

Yes because obviously the teacher is at fault if the kids are intimidating.

So many posters on here clearly have no idea what it can be like dealing with gangs of kids in a school. They absolutely can be really vile, corner staff etc.

Nobody should have to deal with this at work. Nobody.

@MrsHamlet

I'll bear that advice in mind, *@namethattunein1*

I'd like to see you handle the specific situation. But clearly you know far better than I.

I couldn't, so I DO NOT TEACH.

To me being unintimidated by children seems a very important skill if you wish to educate them...For your own sake I'd go do something else, but especially for the children you teach sake.

@namethattunein1 so you think it's ok that people are intimidated & abused in their place of work?

I've seen gangs of 14yo boys surround a teacher. It's definitely intimidating. I've taught kids awaiting trial for GBH and drug dealing.

Don't tell me teens can't be intimidating.

To me being unintimidated by children seems a very important skill if you wish to educate them...For your own sake I'd go do something else, but especially for the children you teach sake.

Noted. Great advice.

Poor understanding of what I said though. I said I'd been intimidated by one child. One. Deliberately, as it happens. It's his modus operandi when he doesn't get what he wants.
Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want, and he needs to learn that.
I don't actually teach him.

@GuyFawkesDay

Yes because obviously the teacher is at fault if the kids are intimidating.

So many posters on here clearly have no idea what it can be like dealing with gangs of kids in a school. They absolutely can be really vile, corner staff etc.

Nobody should have to deal with this at work. Nobody.

Listen to your language...gangs of kids in schools....

Yes, it's a really tough job, yes, teachers are not respected by parents, the government, the kids, yes teachers are leaving in droves , but yet this woman still went ahead and did her teaching training and got into the profession, ??

If 13 year old boys intimidate you, you have no business being a teacher

Try it some time.

Yes there absolutely are gangs of kids in schools. With gang names. Involved in county lines and all sorts. Your posts smack of total ignorance.

I'll ask again, should any person be abused and intimidated at work?

[quote GuyFawkesDay]@namethattunein1 so you think it's ok that people are intimidated & abused in their place of work?

I've seen gangs of 14yo boys surround a teacher. It's definitely intimidating. I've taught kids awaiting trial for GBH and drug dealing.

Don't tell me teens can't be intimidating.[/quote]
What part of the OP comments relate to surrounding a teacher?? Or fucking gangs??

8 black boys = gang. Absolute bollocks

@GuyFawkesDay

Yes there absolutely are gangs of kids in schools. With gang names. Involved in county lines and all sorts. Your posts smack of total ignorance.

I'll ask again, should any person be abused and intimidated at work?

8 black boys at a grammar and you bring up county lines and gang names...fucks sake...

@namethattunein1

The problem is that if you add 'never feeling intimidated' to the job description you weed out more people that you would consider 'not fit to teach', but you further decrease the pool of available teachers, which isn't particularly large to start with.

It's also further reduced if you add 'people willing to meet with parents in person every time a teenager thinks they didn't do nuffin'

Whereas if you set up a school so students know that sort of behaviour is unacceptable, and sanction appropriately, you have a wider range of people who can teach effectively.

Given the shortage of STEM teachers to start with. And the fact that even the scariest brick shithouse male teacher can't have eyes on 30 kids pouring acid at once, most schools opt for the latter, and try to support staff with good behaviour policies.

I tactfully suggest that your son knows exactly what they were doing that made her angry.

"nobody shouted at her, swore or approached her.". Maybe not, but there are countless other idiotic ways teenagers can deliberately cheek, ridicule, disrespect , embarrass and bully a teacher.

Your son knows them if you don't.