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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

DD wants to move from private to state

78 replies

SakaSpuds · 30/06/2021 09:06

DD (13) is at a very good mixed independent school.

She's asked whether we'd consider sending her to a state school instead. She's quite left wing and I think this is what's motivating it.

I've said I'll look into it but I wondered what other people thought? Issues for me are:

  • the local state schools nearby are substantially less good than her current school in terms of results (at her current school, 93% of GCSEs are 7,8 or 9, whereas at our best local state it's about 25%)
  • the facilities are much worse as is the range of subjects offered. I'm not sure she appreciates how different certain aspects will be.
  • I haven't talked to DD about this yet but of course the local state may be oversubscribed, in which case it may not even be possible or she may end up somewhere much further away. (I haven't looked into any of this yet- we've only just started talking about it.)
  • On the other hand, I respect her views and think it's an admirable position.

Struggling to see whether, as her mum, it's my job to get her the best education I can (which would mean staying where she was, which is what I would prefer) and she can make her choices for her own kids, if she has them, later. Or should I be letting her decide this?

(In terms of other reasons she might want to leave, she's in quite an intense group of friends at her current school- lots of dramas and issues- and I think she's finding that all a bit stressful. Not sure moving schools is necessarily going to help with that.)

OP posts:
NewVariable · 30/06/2021 09:15

That's a hard one.
Friendships are difficult, but there's no guarantee she'll find her crowd in a state school either.
As for the left-leaning views, you could tell her that her state school education will be paid from the taxpayers pot. Going private she leaves a bit more funds for others. She will still be leaving in relative comfort, having access to books, tutors, experiences, etc. Her private school teachers are the same as state school teachers. Her best contribution to a better societal structure would be to get the best education she can and then use it wisely in accordance with her values.

00100001 · 30/06/2021 09:22

take her to visit the state schools and let her see them? then she at least has more information?

She might like the schools better or not ?

meadowbreeze · 30/06/2021 09:24

I personally wouldn't move her. Is she active on social media? It's a very hard place for private school kids now. It's not popular to go to one and if you're popular and people find out, they do get the piss taken out of them.
It may be quite hard for her to settle in the state if she's been in privates a while. See point above.

Branleuse · 30/06/2021 09:26

Is she year 8? If youre going to do it, id do it now rather than later.
Does she have friends at other state schools?

I think if youre paying a fortune for something she doesnt even want then id seriously consider moving her and putting the saved money towards extracurricular or saving it for uni.
Has she articulated her pros and cons? What are her expectations? Maybe she feels like you are wasting your money and would rather have a more diverse friend group. Has she always been in private school, or just since secondary?

Seeline · 30/06/2021 09:26

Is she currently Y8 or Y9?

HAs she chosen her GCSE options?

Lots of state schools start the GCSE courses in Y9, so if she is about to go into Y9 she may not get much choice in options as she would need to fit into what is left. If she is about to go into Y10, she may have already missed a year of the courses. Certainly maths and science, this could be an issue if her current school use a different board/syllabus.

Does your DD have any particular activities at school that she enjoys - sports teams, orchestras, drama etc? Would the state school be able to accommodate these?

cornflowersandpoppies · 30/06/2021 09:27

I wouldn’t, to be honest, and I fully understand and admire her position.

campion · 30/06/2021 09:29

Of course not.She isn't old enough to decide this. If she wants to leave after GCSE then fair enough,and she can see if her ideas match reality.

Until then, her education matters more than her principles and you have made the decision that the current school will help her reach her potential. 25% GCSE rate indicates plenty of problems.

She'll get problems and dramas with friendships wherever she goes.

NothingEverChangesButTheShoes · 30/06/2021 09:31

If your DD is quite left wing she should look up where many on the left went to school. You cannot change a system from the outside. You change it from within. Sadly, going to a state school will not give her the opportunity to break into the elite and destroy it from the inside. Brick by brick.

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles · 30/06/2021 09:34

How serious is she about this, do you think? What jumps out at me from your opening post is that you don't actually know for sure why she wants to make this change. You need to have a long talk with her to identify why she's thinking this way before you can begin to make any decision.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 30/06/2021 09:34

Personally I'd get her through her GCSEs then look at state options for 6th if it's still something she'd like to do. Quite a lot of my school year did it that way, state primary> private secondary> state 6th form.

TeenTitan007 · 30/06/2021 09:42

A colleague of mine was given the choice of state/private school for secondary. He chose state and didn't make much of his education, never went to uni etc. He's doing well now through sheer hard work but wishes he had never been asked to choose. Had he gone private he's quite convinced he would've been more focussed and better educated. He feels like he squandered that opportunity by choosing state. It's not just the school but also the individual one should think about - different people do well in different environments.

LadyCatStark · 30/06/2021 09:53

I wouldn’t. Education is non-negotiable in our house. Also, I moved from a private school to a state school in year 9 due to a change in family circumstances and it was awful! I didn’t fit in at all and was bullied horribly. I had already done the work that they were doing especially in maths so it was boring too. Perhaps she could look at going to a state sixth form or sixth form college?

0None0 · 30/06/2021 10:00

Poor girl. Why force her into a private education she does not want? You may be only able to see advantages, but there are massive disadvantages too, in terms of personal development, respect, self respect, confidence, social acceptance, general world view and understanding. Many people are left disabled for life by private education Let her go state

AOwlAOwlAOwl · 30/06/2021 10:00

@NewVariable

That's a hard one. Friendships are difficult, but there's no guarantee she'll find her crowd in a state school either. As for the left-leaning views, you could tell her that her state school education will be paid from the taxpayers pot. Going private she leaves a bit more funds for others. She will still be leaving in relative comfort, having access to books, tutors, experiences, etc. Her private school teachers are the same as state school teachers. Her best contribution to a better societal structure would be to get the best education she can and then use it wisely in accordance with her values.
It doesn't 'leave more funds in the pot' as state schools are funded on the basis of the number of pupils on roll. In fact you could argue the opposite, that with some students filtered out of the state system it means there is less flexibility in funding and ability of schools to get value for money across key stages for teaching staff.
clary · 30/06/2021 10:11

Hmmmm, op in practical terms, this may not be a decision that can be taken now. As other say, depending on the year she is in, she may have missed out on GCSE choices at the possible state school.

And even if not, the learning she has done may not fit with the state school. As an example, in my subject (MFL) most private schools seem to take iGCSE, while virtually all state schools take AQA GCSE. The AQA syllabus requires translation, so it is taught fron yr 7, but very likely not at a private school as it is not needed for either CAIE or EdExcel iGCSE. No doubt there will be other variations in other subjects.

Tho to a pp, 25% of GCSE grades at a state school being 7-9 does not indicate plenty of problems!

I would probe further her reasons and if they seem valid, find out if you can look round a state school. Sounds to me as tho friendships may be the driver here tho?

Original poster
SakaSpuds · 30/06/2021 10:15

Thanks, everyone. I should add that's she's always been very happy at her current school (she started there at 7) until now.

Interesting points about the different syllabuses. I'd assumed that any changes would be ok as long as they were pre-GCSE (ie Y10). She's just finishing Y8 at the moment.

OP posts:
ThedaBara · 30/06/2021 10:18

I would suggest that you tell her to apply her left wing principles to doing some useful work in the community (Some sort of Duke of edinburg type thing, volunteering, fundraising, helping those less fortunate). You're the parent and it's your job to give her the best start in life, and going to a school that's got a terrible gcse pass rate because of your political views is going to literally help nobody

0None0 · 30/06/2021 10:24

iGcses are named i. State schools because they are not vigorous enough

0None0 · 30/06/2021 10:24

*rigourous! Sorry. Typing on phone

clary · 30/06/2021 10:26

@ThedaBara

I would suggest that you tell her to apply her left wing principles to doing some useful work in the community (Some sort of Duke of edinburg type thing, volunteering, fundraising, helping those less fortunate). You're the parent and it's your job to give her the best start in life, and going to a school that's got a terrible gcse pass rate because of your political views is going to literally help nobody
We don't know it has a terrible GCSE pass rate tho, the OP hasn't shared that.

Op my strictures re syllabi may not be an issue for a bright hardworking student. I would check tho when the local state starts GCSE as many now choose options in yr 8. Has she done this at her private school?

Annasgirl · 30/06/2021 10:26

Honestly OP, I have 2 DC in private and my 3rd will also go private for second level. I would not let my child choose to change to a state school at age 13. My DD had a horrendous year at that age but we got through it with support and she is now 17 and has thrived.

As others have said, I would tell her she has to stay until after GCSE and then she can decide where to go for A levels (you may find that this will all be over by then, or she may really want to go to a State school for A level).

Also agree that if she wants to change the world, she can start by volunteering.

Brian9600 · 30/06/2021 10:27

@0None0

Poor girl. Why force her into a private education she does not want? You may be only able to see advantages, but there are massive disadvantages too, in terms of personal development, respect, self respect, confidence, social acceptance, general world view and understanding. Many people are left disabled for life by private education Let her go state
Heavens!
TheLovelinessOfDemons · 30/06/2021 10:29

I definitely sent DD where she'd do best. Not just academically, but socially too. I'll do the same with DS2. Does she have friends at the comp?

tinselvestsparklepants · 30/06/2021 10:29

Suggest state 6th form as a compromise. I did that, went from a small rubbish private school to a huge state 6th form. Loved it. Found my crowd and went to a good uni. She's too young to choose now- getting good GCSEs will give her a better choice at A level. But if you discuss this together she should also feel listened to, which is also important.

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 30/06/2021 10:37

I think in your position I would leave her where she is too and not be given the choice, she is pretty young still and like you say will not understand the full consequences of her decision.

My dd started at a sixth form college last year for her A-levels in a new town 40 miles from where we lived as we relocated. This is very left wing and she is doing politics and absolutely loves it. It is completely opened her eyes to politics and she gained some very strong views. Most of the kids there are quirky and there is just a very different vibe to it than her state school, she fits in so well. She is planning on going to Uni next year to study politics as she has such a passion now. I would wait until sixth form and see if you can find somewhere similar.