DD wants to move from private to state

[SakaSpuds]

DD (13) is at a very good mixed independent school.

She's asked whether we'd consider sending her to a state school instead. She's quite left wing and I think this is what's motivating it.

I've said I'll look into it but I wondered what other people thought? Issues for me are:

• the local state schools nearby are substantially less good than her current school in terms of results (at her current school, 93% of GCSEs are 7,8 or 9, whereas at our best local state it's about 25%)

• the facilities are much worse as is the range of subjects offered. I'm not sure she appreciates how different certain aspects will be.

• I haven't talked to DD about this yet but of course the local state may be oversubscribed, in which case it may not even be possible or she may end up somewhere much further away. (I haven't looked into any of this yet- we've only just started talking about it.)

• On the other hand, I respect her views and think it's an admirable position.

Struggling to see whether, as her mum, it's my job to get her the best education I can (which would mean staying where she was, which is what I would prefer) and she can make her choices for her own kids, if she has them, later. Or should I be letting her decide this?

(In terms of other reasons she might want to leave, she's in quite an intense group of friends at her current school- lots of dramas and issues- and I think she's finding that all a bit stressful. Not sure moving schools is necessarily going to help with that.)

I agree with her staying and then looking again for sixth form.
I would have thought moving at this point could be complicated and detrimental to her education. You must make the decision that is best for her long term future. No just the next 12 months.

Is she just unhappy at school?

I wouldn’t move for the the left leaning principles at that age TBH and my kids are at state!

Can you clarify the" admirable position" part?

If she gets good gcses she will have many, many more good and perhaps great state 6th form options open to her - distance (in reality, if not always entirely on paper) largely disappears as a constraint! Cast your net wide!

Also, access to good/great unis might be easier, applying from a state 6th form (it has been for us).

@AOwlAOwlAOwl
It doesn't 'leave more funds in the pot' as state schools are funded on the basis of the number of pupils on roll. In fact you could argue the opposite, that with some students filtered out of the state system it means there is less flexibility in funding and ability of schools to get value for money across key stages for teaching staff.

I was thinking on a scale of the country's budget, not a particular school. I suggested it as a discussion point with the teenager, not more than that.
And would also agree with the priority of finding out what actually worries the girl

the local state schools nearby are substantially less good than her current school in terms of results (at her current school, 93% of GCSEs are 7,8 or 9, whereas at our best local state it's about 25%)

I'm surprised those figures don't jump out at her.

For the sake of argument it's a shame you don't have a highly regarded state school in the vicinity - because then you could show her the billion pound houses surrounding it ... I find catchment exclusivity incredibly iniquitous and am prepared to call shame on anyone who preens about sending their child to a state school that may be far more exclusive than an independent school with a substantial bursary offering.

Not now. Let her have the choice for sixth form. She'll probably find a much narrower choice of options at local state schools which might help her make her decision.

[quote NewVariable]@AOwlAOwlAOwl
It doesn't 'leave more funds in the pot' as state schools are funded on the basis of the number of pupils on roll. In fact you could argue the opposite, that with some students filtered out of the state system it means there is less flexibility in funding and ability of schools to get value for money across key stages for teaching staff.

I was thinking on a scale of the country's budget, not a particular school. I suggested it as a discussion point with the teenager, not more than that.
And would also agree with the priority of finding out what actually worries the girl[/quote]
I wasn't suggesting you were talking about a particular school. It's not even true across the country's budget either.

What are her reasons for why she wants to go to a state school? What does she think she'll be gaining?

I don't think at 13 you realise the implications of such decisions, she has no idea how lucky she is to get the chance of a private education.

Very tricky. I understand wanting to empower our children to make their own choices.

However.

I've taught state secondary for 20 years. I've seen a handful of kids move from private to state. It doesn't tend to go well.

the local state schools nearby are substantially less good than her current school in terms of results (at her current school, 93% of GCSEs are 7,8 or 9, whereas at our best local state it's about 25%)

So a selective school full of children from affluent families gets better results than a comprehensive one? What a shocker.

IIRC 25% of GCSE grades are 7 and above, so those results are precisely what you'd expect from a comprehensive school.

I think it's actually quite surprising for a child at the end of Year 8 to suddenly announce they want to change schools (leaving sector out of it). I wouldn't be surprised if there was more to it than just "being left wing". I think OP could do with working out why her DD actually wants to change schools. And possibly actually taking her to see a local school if she thinks she will be put off by lack of facilities.

I can't imagine that adding 10% of pupils to the same total state education budget with no negative effect for all.
But that's not the point of the thread, so I won't derail it further

I wouldn't be surprised if there was more to it than just "being left wing". I think OP could do with working out why her DD actually wants to change schools.

The OP has said why - her DD's in the midst of early teen friendship dramas. So one can imagine she's looking for a way to escape her frenemies.

I would keep her at the current school. I don't let my children make bit education decisions - it is too much responsibility for them when they can't see the whole picture. so for secondary choices etc, I said they can express a preference, but the school is my choice.

Let her express her left-wing principles in other ways - volunteering, joining a political party etc.

Idealism vs realism.

At 13 she cannot possibly know the implications of such a decision. She's still a child.

Phone the local state school and ask for a taster week towards the end of this term, could she be allowed to come in for the last week and try out the school. I would think the private school breaks up earlier than the state school?

That should give her an idea of how a state school is run and what it's really like. (Not as good as good as the private school you're at, IMHO and it's not their fault, they don't get nearly enough funding and help to compete).

There are friendship problems everywhere at this age, it may not change going somewhere else. It could even get worse. Talk to the school about it and try to diffuse it. Find her hobbies and social groups outside of school to give balance. You can't run away when the going gets tough. It's part of growing up to understand that people can be complete dicks and you have to learn how to handle them and yourself in difficult situations.

I would ask her what her reasons for moving are. It could be that she is unhappy at her current school or that the friendship problems are the big reason. If the friendship problems are very bad, she might be better moving for a fresh start but not necessarily to the local state school. Is there another independent option? Also is she in year 8 or 9? Year 7/8 can be the worst for friendship drama in my experience.

If it is purely about her ideals, no I would not move her at that age. I would consider it for 6th form - or just say she can go to a state funded university as a young adult.

If there weren't concerns about the school prior to these friendship issues, I would ride it out. Friendship issues can happen anywhere so there is no guarantee changing schools would help. If anything, you could make things worse.

I would wonder if there is something bigger and darker behind her well presented argument. It's quite unusual for a child to ask to make a big leap into the unknown at this age.

Taking a serious look at state 6th form sounds like a good compromise - give her a few more years of growing up first.

I'm quite a strong believer that the buck still stops with the parent, and even at 13 it's not fair to give the responsibility for choosing schools to the child. She doesn't have the experience or perspective to judge it. But, really go digging for whether there are other reasons behind this request.

There are plenty of "left wing" feeling independent schools (day and boarding). Maybe they would be a better fit if you are hoping to maintain academic results. I also find international schools take an edge of the level of elitism/social drama found in typical private schools. Maybe current school just isn't the right fit.

If she s good student she can get high grades in a state comp
But at 13 you decide
If she being bullied move her to another school you decide if state or not

Are you giving her mixed messages by sending her to private school but admiring her for wanting to go to state school? It entirely depends on the quality of the state school option. You are in a luxury position of having enough money to choose.

I went from a small all girls private school to a huge comp 6th form. Had no issues at all and made lifelong friends there, I would not consider myself to be left wing either. My other half went to some very rough large state schools isn't keen on the private system , is also more right wing.
I agree with the other responses, why pay school fees if your daughter is not happy with it ?

I would let her choose. I’ve let all my dc choose at 11. Take her round the local schools, and ask about places. You’d have to pay the fees for next term at her private school, as you haven’t given enough notice. So if she absolutely hates the state school, you do have a chance of return.

A happy child would flourish anywhere whether state or private. If she is happy moving, it might be worth showing her what state school offers..

@Confusedmum11plus21

A happy child would flourish anywhere whether state or private. If she is happy moving, it might be worth showing her what state school offers..

Exactly. I don’t know what private school parents t hi no they are buying, but it isn’t education. Connects with the ‘right’ people maybe, but depends on your definition of ‘right’