Dulwich College a “breeding ground for sexual predators”

[rosemary201]

Another day, another school
Interestingly, the first letter from a boy

Dulwich College is today accused of being a “breeding ground for sexual predators” in an open letter organised by a former schoolboy that contains more than 100 anonymous accounts of assault, harassment and sharing intimate photos online.

The letter, written by Samuel Schulenburg, 19, a former pupil at the south London private school, said “experiences of assault, revenge pornography and slut shaming were exacerbated by ... young men who ... laughed at stories of sexual violence”.

His letter includes about 100 anonymous testimonies written by girls who went to neighbouring schools, such as James Allen’s Girls’ School (Jags). One claims there was “an established rape culture” at the school.

Fee paying schools market themselves on the premise that they are excellent, extraordinary, world beating educational establishments where children will be taught alongside other well behaved children - hence the extra level of scrutiny and press interest when that is shown to not be quite the truth. Hopefully state schools are paying great interest and learning from the highly publicised mistakes of the fee paying sector to deal with their own issues.

@MsTSwift

Oh come on it’s many schools it’s not a state private issue. But some schools as described by a previous poster have managed to confront this and deal with it that needs to happen across the board.

My two at girls state school. This is no accident.

Who is this to? What are you disagreeing with

Yes I suppose people have left it late for private school placements, although I wonder if some headed for private will take up a state school. Although yes, I recognise it could be really bad at state schools too.

Anyhow well done to Soma Sara for starting all this - enough is enough.
It makes me so mad and sick to my stomach.

And DULWICH COLLEGE - if you are reading this, let's hope you can do your very best to stop the culture and the breeding ground of boys who assault and quite frankly hate women so much can be turned around.

Let's hope you do it for the right reasons not just because your reputation as a school is now shockingly bad.

The porn culture, mobile phone 247 and general degradation of women is society wide but you look at the fees and the high level of staff and kind of think if somewhere as entitled and rich as Dulwich College has not cared around women or toxic masculinity.. or has it not even been on their radar?

Reading that article about forcibly removing clothing from a young women and her having to scream and cry to get her clothes back, it makes me physically sick, when as a school Dulwich College promotes it liberal education and all the extras it offers...

I think focussing on some of these key private schools is key, god knows they go on to provide leaders or industry and politicians.

Ofcourse then there also needs a wider debate at just what a sexist awful society our young people are facing.

@mysterymountains did you join MN just to bash DC?

@DonGray I think D.C. have a bit more to worry about than mumsnet posters calling them out don’t you?

@mysterymountains @dongray I was wondering that too!

I have a son at DC and - while accepting that (like all the other schools referenced on Everyone Welcome) there are a minority of entitled Alpha males who behave unacceptably, I do not recognise this stereotype amongst DS's friends. Every school has a mixture of personalities and DC is no more a sausage factory for one stereotype than the next school.

FWIW I have been very impressed by the Head's calm and considered reaction to these anonymous testimonies. he has reached out to writer of the open letter (who went to the press before going to the school) and progress has been made. Some more details appear to have been obtained which have enabled the school to punish individuals and to refer criminal allegations to the police.

FWIW this is something DC (and all named schools) need to work through but it does not mean that their reputations are irredeemably shattered. My DS has benefitted enormously from the liberal education the school offers. I will never regret choosing this school over a range of other local options. and whatever @mysterymountains might think I do not for one moment imagine the admissions team are currently snowed under by people desperately trying to break their contracts.

Parents won't desert Dulwich College this year. If you are hell bent on paying for an educational advantage you'll stand by the school while hopefully applying pressure on it. For a start other private options will likely have closed their books. Unless they dare go down the state route...
No it's the 2022 intake the school will have its sights on convincing it's doing something.
I'm sure all schools have an element of this problem. And I wouldn't believe a school which said it didn't. In fact I'd be suspicious of complacency. But I keep returning to DD's uni experience and her stories that it was the public school boys (particularly the rowers and rugby players) who were a)worst in this behavior and b) closed ranks and protected the perpetrators. Sure Durham should have done more, but it rather seemed the attracted a particular cohort. She had friends who were raped and whose attackers were still surrounded by the same braying crowd. Wish we'd know that 4 years ago....

The Head has sent a strong message out, he says DC have self reported to the Charities Commission and that they are instigating an independent investigation.
I think porn culture/ rape culture has crept into society like a poison. Delivered through the mobile phones this generation carry at all times.
Maybe the generations in positions of authority staff/ Governors even parents have got a lot of catching up to do. People need to realise how damaging exposure to violent pornographic content against women and children is.
It’s a good thing that a serious conversation is starting, it needs to push out into all schools and colleges.

@mysterymountains

What I am wondering is, if you have signed up your kid, for one of these schools for a September start could you get your deposit or first term of fees back? I mean I couldn't imagine wanting a child to start at Dulwich College in September? Are their admissions teams in overdrive and contacting prospective parents assuring them that they are taking action? I suppose the face they have named some pupils to the police is a good start, let's hope the police take things seriously?

Ofcourse, it could be at many other schools, but there must be some schools with a good enough culture to at least minimise this shit and be able to provide a safe environment?

But you pay what over 20K in fees and this sexist abuse happens?

I mean, were you not paying for (in part) completely over the top staffing levels and pastoral care? All those added on extras and instead there seems to be rape culture?

You watch some of the school promotional videos and they do sell the dream.

How could you send your kid to Dulwich College after reading that Times article. Have any parents on here who have children at Dulwich College called up the Headteacher to express their concern and wonder what is actually going on and what is going to be done about it?

I mean forcibly removing clothing from a female?

My DS is due to start at one of the schools that has been in the press in September (not DC).

Having looked at the Everyone's Invited site there are testimonies relating to every school I could feasibly send him to - the 3 state schools we might be in catchment for (one of which also had an instagram account dedicated to exposing its culture of rampant racism last year) and all of our private options.

So yes, I will definitely still send him because this is a problem everywhere and for the reasons we originally chose it, the school is the one that we think will suit him best. At least, having been featured in the press, the school he will go to is now taking action.

@NotmyNom and that is exactly the point. this culture is everywhere.

Social media means that sharing 'nudes' and watching quite extreme porn is a commonplace activity. As a society we have to take stock and address this.

DonGray no I have not joined DC to single them out at all.

The reporting of a girl being held down to have her top and bra forcibly removed by DC boys made me feel sick.

So I came on her and posed some questions about those who might be or who are sending their children to this school, and I thank those posters for engaging on this topic.

As I have said in my posts it is a wider issue, than just a few selective extremely rich private schools.. but as I said these schools produce people who hold powerful positions in society (isn't that in part what they exist to do?) these schools also operate as charities, get tax breaks and often have outreach and mentoring schemes with other state schools which they advertise widely.

Some of these schools also promote themselves as all inclusive in what they offer, and love to talk about developing their children beyond just stellar results.

If the spotlight falls on these schools then so be it, they need to get their schools in order.

I agree it is imperative that all schools are looked at and as a society we look at the phone, porn, sexist and racist issues that young people face too.

I can't apologise for making so many comments re DC not after I read about a women having her clothing removed, but I may well write to the school directly (although I do not have children at the school).

Sorry meant to say I have not joined MN solely to talk about DC.

@mysterymountains don’t apologise this thread is about Dulwich and the OP wanted people to have opinions and post thoughts about it. Don’t be hounded by people who are trying to stop discussion, that is what Mumsnet is for.

I think this problem is everywhere. Yes there are issues at DC and Whitgift and other schools. I am in this South London World, my kids happen to be at State schools with great reputations, but I guarantee there are kids at every school private or state who behave questionably and terribly. I know it, because I talk to my own kids and their friends. This is a cultural issue within the UK. When you have an ITV presenter talking about his co-host's short skirt being a sign it's spring and forcing her to stand up on air to show everyone her legs on morning television, this is a reflection of where society is at. I really do blame most of this on the parents. In my experience shitty kids have shitty parents. The idea that your child will have the right group of friends if they go to a certain school and you can sit back and just let the school do it is naive and frankly lazy parenting. So, you can find fault in the school for how they handle a situation when it comes to light and then you can find fault with the household the instigator is from and how they handle the situation when it comes to light. If both brush it under the carpet or say it's just how boys are, etc. All the cliche sayings we have heard. Then that's the source of the problem and these boys are not being prepared for life or becoming decent members of society. Which is the end goal of Education.

Just scrolled through the EI testimonies and it seems a certain number of schools crop up alarmingly often. Was actually looking to see if DC's Cornish comp was mentioned. Of course just because it wasn't doesn't mean anything.
What alarmed me most was the organised nature of some of the offences.

@Oohhhbetty

I find that the Dulwich schools, including Alleyn's are marketing themselves as liberal schools. that keeps them apart other schools perceived as more prescriptive and more pressurised i,e Alleyn's has a reputation for being "relaxed".

I see it as a choice of the school model.

The liberal schools will take longer to set themselves into action than other schools ,that will be very prompt at nipping things in the bud ...with one camp is more "let them be" and the other perhaps more "conformist" ... all with nuances and variations of course...

Depends on what families want for their children.

but clearly the liberal schools appear to bring less "added value" in relation to the fees paid.

[quote Iamsodone]@Oohhhbetty

I find that the Dulwich schools, including Alleyn's are marketing themselves as liberal schools. that keeps them apart other schools perceived as more prescriptive and more pressurised i,e Alleyn's has a reputation for being "relaxed".

I see it as a choice of the school model.

The liberal schools will take longer to set themselves into action than other schools ,that will be very prompt at nipping things in the bud ...with one camp is more "let them be" and the other perhaps more "conformist" ... all with nuances and variations of course...

Depends on what families want for their children.

but clearly the liberal schools appear to bring less "added value" in relation to the fees paid.[/quote]
This is interesting to me

I can’t see that it follows they would be more accepting or slower to act

I have read the testimonies on EI website and some of the open letters.

Whilst the accused are obviously wrong, I couldn't help feeling the accusers also naively letting themselves into "compromising" situations.

I come from a culture where sex and alcohol for under 18 is completely frowned upon. Sending nude pictures to boys? Getting drunk at parties? Who do you have to blame?

@kittybritain Be very careful what you are insinuating. These boys are powerful (in any sector of school) and they target and harass girls to send them photos (and call them ‘frigid’ if they don’t.) These girls are young and vulnerable and don’t have years of experience under their belt to view these things with perspective like we do. Like most people they want to be liked. They don’t have the maturity to judge warning signs of character. I am very offended by what you are suggesting. So if a girl takes a photo in a bikini and put on social media - inappropriate? A boy puts a photo on his shorts - ok? Why?

Of course they are ‘naively letting themselves’ in to situations. They are children. It is what children do.

[quote Oohhhbetty]@kittybritain Be very careful what you are insinuating. These boys are powerful (in any sector of school) and they target and harass girls to send them photos (and call them ‘frigid’ if they don’t.) These girls are young and vulnerable and don’t have years of experience under their belt to view these things with perspective like we do. Like most people they want to be liked. They don’t have the maturity to judge warning signs of character. I am very offended by what you are suggesting. So if a girl takes a photo in a bikini and put on social media - inappropriate? A boy puts a photo on his shorts - ok? Why?[/quote]
So the girls also need to be educated about not being naively letting themselves into those situations. My point is, why all a sudden everywhere there are posters about "Educating your sons"?

I'm not suggesting the accused boys are naive, not at all, but if girls don't go to parties drinking and wearing extremely short skirts to schools at least there will be fewer boys assuming that girls like showing off their attractiveness.

I saw on EI's instagram a slogan "There is nothing virtuous about virginity". I was shocked, coming from a culture where virginity at least until university is a norm.

@kittybritain Why should girls not be proud to show off their attractiveness? There is no law against that? Any more than boys should not wear shorts! wearing a skirt that shows your legs should not lead to sexual assault.

[quote Oohhhbetty]@kittybritain Why should girls not be proud to show off their attractiveness? There is no law against that? Any more than boys should not wear shorts! wearing a skirt that shows your legs should not lead to sexual assault.[/quote]
In my opinion, wearing extremely short skirts (same length as blazer) to school is inviting sexual attention.

Going to parties drinking alcohol is preparing to let themselves into uncontrollable environment.

@kittybritain you have just opened a very sexist argument. My own children would debate you into the ground and I have 2 sons and a daughter. This argument has been debated at high court levels. Sorry.. this is the problem. Blaming it on the girls and not taking responsibility is the problem. End of. And again, parents who do this are not good parents.

@kittybritain Attention is not the same as assault. Which is illegal. Boys also dress for attention? Being drunk does not mean you should be a victim of assault. I don’t drink myself, but that doesn’t change my understanding of the law. Boys who assault girls are guilty whatever they are wearing and whatever they have drunk. Assault is against the law end of.