Thread 15 - Corona Cohort Year 12, 2021 Lateral Flow & Driving Tests

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@icanbewhatiwant: I know you don't want to derail, but in case it's helpful, ds had his ASD dx in Y8, and I found it really difficult to distinguish between 'normal teenage boy' and 'autistic teenage boy': there's a lot of overlap! DS coped well at primary, and whilst there were autistic traits, it didn't feel like it was causing issues. The wheels came off at secondary: I think the combination of the sensory impact of 'big' school, and trying to navigate teenage social rules. He was lucky to be part of a funded therapy intervention, and the therapist 'pushed' and advocated for him: he wasn't really on the SENCO radar otherwise. He's much calmer and happier now, with a lovely gang (academics have always been strong, it was finding his tribe that made the difference): the dx really helped him understand and accept himself. Do pm me if you want to chat more, happy to share our experiences, but obv this may not be the solution for your son.

Plus, other tips:

1)for speed, if waiting times are long, I always recommend you go private to start with, if you can afford it.

But ask for the NHS referral through your GP as a starting point. I asked GP for referral. NHS. Ours was actually reasonably quick. By the time I got there they'd already asked school and school had insisted he was 'fine. Instead of the consultant I was supposed to see (Top Dog) I weirdly got allocated the ADHD specialist, who was dismissive and told me to come back in a year.

My mum said she'd pay for me to see the consultant I was supposed to see. Privately. He sent me to see his female friend. Who did tests and said that he had loads of traits, but was very spikey, and some areas none at all. She said his theory of mind was 'off the Richter scale' , worst she'd seen for years, and his lack of empathy, and lack of ability to think through consequences, was severe.

School still insisted he was fine and I was imagining things. £200 well spent.

I then asked to be referred back in to the NHS. And had no more work done privately. And strangely all of a sudden was allocated another NHS appointment for the next week. What a pleasant surprise!

Doctor who I was supposed to have originally seen on the NHS , (who I had obviously seen privately, now had his friends privately paid for report infront of him), at our NHS appointment, apologised for his colleagues dismissive attitude previously, and said things had been "overlooked" by colleague.

2)Talk to HoY and Senco at school. Send an email, so you've a paper trail.

Our boiler broke down on 4/3. The earliest BG could offer under their Home over agreement was 6/4!! After really kicking up, they sent us details of a website and said if we got someone from there to fix it they would reimburse the cost. The boiler was fixed within 4 hours. Still waiting for the money (which was more than the annual premium) - they said payment within 28 days so only a few days left.....

BG engineers are on strike ATM as Centrica are trying to force new contracts on them

@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore thanks for advice. I might message you, though I feel I don't want to bother people. Most stuff I've read on ADHD/ASD etc. isn't how he is. That's the thing. He seems to get on with his peers too. Though doesn't have lots of friends. Ds1 (second year uni) really struggled with friendships. Ds2 (year 12) is very different to try oldest and youngest. He's Mr popular.

I hid his nintendo switch yesterday. So he came and sat in the living room in the eve. He got better towards me as the evening went on. The only thing he did do was to hide my phone, he said I can have it when he gets his back. But when he'd gone to bed I phoned it and found it. I got to bed and found he'd hidden all my face creams, hand creams etc. that were on my bedside table.

@ExponentiallyDepleted I'm not sure whether school is sensory overload as he's always been much better when he's been at school. Though obviously he's now at secondary, he's not been there long enough to tell if he is the same as he was at primary. I might phone that group. But if it is just a youth club it's a long way to go. If it is right in Ipswich town then it could take an hour to get there.

Thanks for all the advice. I will definitely try to get more help. That's enough clogging up this thread talking about my year 7. But advice definitely appreciated.

Won't clog up much more, but that is often the case, the school is sensory overload but the DC know they have to cope while they are there and therefore seem fine, but actually it is putting them under a huge amount of stress (imagine if you had to put up with really irritating music or flickering lighting all day at work). Then when they come home to their safe place they let it all out and their family takes the brunt of it. The distance sounds a problem for the youth group but still might be worth contacting them, they might have outreach workers or contacts closer to home who might be able to support DS. Also worth seeing if there are local SEN support groups on FB. Even without a diagnosis other parents can be a great source of useful info.

@icanbewhatiwant: no worries. I’m very conscious that not all teens with autistic traits are autistic so it may not be the right route for your ds. Two things that might help you: I made a list of the criteria for diagnosis and spreadsheeted ds’ traits that fitted those - going right back. That was quite eye opening. Secondly there is a fab podcast on r4 at the mo by two young autistic professions. It is very, very funny and they do a great job of surfacing their brain processes. We are listening to it as a family and Dd (non autistic) loves it. It’s an interesting listen in terms of the reality of the experience of being inside the brain of young autistic ppl (& recognising traits in oneself) as well as simple help mechanics although both have quite severe issues/need lots of support. It’s on bbc sounds as 1800 seconds on autism.

Anyway, back to our sixth formers! Some positive news here - ds and dd both came home with certificates of good work for the term yesterday - ds for psych and dd for French. Both seemed chuffed although ds was reckons his was basically an award ‘for being the only person who answered questions spontaneously on teams classes’ ;-)

I don’t think any of us here view support or lines of advice for DC as clogging up the thread, it’s great that those with experience can do just that

I think this thread is a great place for general support : you are less likely to be lectured at here , derailed , or scolded.

Well done to your DC @AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore. We got DS's half termly scorecard yesterday and he had excellent across the board for effort and behaviour. I've never had any concerns about behaviour, but he always worries that he's not making enough effort, especially when working at home, so this is a much needed boost.

Thanks @Seeline, I have just got off the webchat with British Gas and they have said I can get any gas safe engineer round to do it and then send them the bill after I've paid it, they will reimburse me then. Phew!

Piggywaspushed I wonder if I could ask you to clarify further re UniFrog PS that I read about on the extra curricular thread about personal statements. DD is doing her PS based on the UniFrog PS framework (school's insistence) and I would hate her to be obviously singled out as using this template type. Can she change the order to hide this fact? Appreciate your help and insight into this - never occurred to me that this wasn't commonly used.

Excellent @20newnames Warm and clean

@icanbewhatiwant Much sympathy to you, though I do not have useful advice. Your posts are not derailing. I v much hope you get support.

Hi anne . I can't see the personal statement template on UniFrog as a teacher but will try to sign into DS's account later.

She was a very able students (ie 3 A*s) and her PS was so formulaic : you could 'spot the joins'. Someone of her intellect could have just done one without a formula. Our schol ahs the same sort of formula approach : the important thing to emphasise is how any extra stuff supports their application : not just bunging it in and then saying 'because teamwork'!

If I recall, it doesn't really encourage them to spend enough characters on academics and is almost insistent on extra curricular stuff ( there is a whole bit of UniFrog where they put this evidence). In the case of this girl, she doesn't do much of huge interest extra curricular wise and it weakened rather than strengthened her PS.

She did get 5 offers anyway!

I can see that is you ahve spent 12 years of your life kite surfing or collecting rare postcards , it is galling to not be able to let a uni know of your hobbies! They don't seem to want rounded people these days.

ps I do know, despite MN protestations to the contrary, that most unis do read PSs. DS was asked about his at two offer holder days and one uni contacted him to say how impressive myhis statement was.

Oh, I can see it from my teacher account : it has 3 discrete sections and implies they should all be the same length. I would say to your DD that the first section should be nearly all of it!

The final bit (what can you offer the university) seems almost entirely arbitrary. It reads a bit like an NQT application : 'I promise I'll run a club, help backstage at the school play and do DofE' !

@icanbewhatiwant, I agree that you are not de-railing. It can feel like everybody else's DC behave so well, so it is helpful when there is honesty. Mine are both often very rude, DS1 rarely takes time to talk to parents, has to be coaxed into conversation, although he improved enormously when he had a GF and a gap year. DS2 has told us (politely) that he does not want to go away with us unless DS1 is going. A friend at primary school who had a perfectly behaved child said she did not "tolerate" bad behaviour, and I wondered how that works!

Some DC just don't sail through as easily as others.

On Personal Statements, I only know about medicine and Cambridge. The GMC has specifically told medical schools not to use them heavily as some people have a lot more "support" than others. There are some which require you to show that you have adequately explored the career and gained some work experience, but the ONLY one which still scores the PS is UCL. Cambridge say they are not really interested in extra curricular stuff, only super-curricular. They say extra-curricular should not be more than about 15% of your PS. The Student Room offers a free review of PS.

Thank you so much Piggy and Monkey that is v helpful. Yes it seems to have 3 sections although think the first one has most character allowance but you can pinch from one to use for another I believe.
DD has lots of volunteering and extra stuff she could put but won't have room so I think she'll have to concentrate on one and give evidence of how it applies to her chosen course and what she's learnt from it etc. I know it shouldn't read like a list and keep the language simple - they were reading each other's last week and had to give feedback and DD told a boy that his language was too wordy (or something like that. He was using too many long words that even I didn't know what they meant and DH thinks I'm a lexicon lol) and he grumbled that another student had said the same. Was a bit try hard apparently. Reminded me of that friends episode where Joey uses a thesaurus to write a recommendation for Monica and Chandler as potential adopters and used it on every single word including signing off as Baby Kangaroo

If you Google Bath University personal statement you will find just about the best and clearest advice I have seen anne.

Your DD is on it early! Very impressed.

DS has his Sheffield Taster in economics in 10 mins. Not back from obligatory walk yet.

Oh yes I clicked on that link on that thread. Thanks Piggy. Will show DD when home. Her school is on the case not us. She's done her 2nd draft already and awaiting more feedback and then onto 3rd I'm actually really impressed with it. Not got any frame of reference being as she's our eldest but there's no quotes or inspiration cliches and she has a good opening sentence in her first paragraph - feedback from her teacher otherwise I'd never have know . In her field she will need an interview and sit an exam so guess she can expand if they ask questions based on her PS.

Hope your DS gets back soon and his taster session goes well.

Only one more day til Easter hols. Am looking forward to turning the alarm clock off.

DS is not even thinking abt his PS and is instead studying for end of term exams so he can get good predicted grades. Our Easter hols have begun.

Those of your offspring interested in Economics, which unis are they targeting, if you do not mind saying?

DS is not probably going to study economics by itself, although he enjoys it.

I think Economics is very mathsy these days; it was far less so when I studied it.

According to the oracle that is MN anyway!