Single sex high schools yay or nay ?

[nameisnotimportant]

I'm looking for opinions on single sex high schools. Are they better or worse ?
Would you prefer one over the other for your child ? Even better if you went to a single sex high school, how did you find it ?

I would sent DD to a girls school in a heartbeat if I could but I cannot find a similarly good boys option for DS so in the spirit of fairness they will go to a mixed school.

I've never understood the principle of depriving one child of what would be best for them, in some kind of misguided 'fairness'. My dc know that we will always do what is best for each of them, individually, whenever a choice is offered. We are fair to all of them, by doing the best for all of them, not 'sacrificing' one of them because another might not get the same opportunity.

I think that's a good point by JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn , about maturity and the difference between boys and girls.

The sole reason I’ve done this for them {single sex schools} is so they can enjoy and concentrate on education and not have to navigate dealing with boys.

See, None of my dc have ever had to "navigate dealing with boys" as none of them see the other sex as a separate species. My ds has always had plenty of friends who are girls and my dds have always had plenty of friends who are boys. Friends are friends. I think in keeping boys away from your dds, if anything, you could be creating a situation where 'navigating' has to happen, rather then just being mates like people who grow up together.

See, None of my dc have ever had to "navigate dealing with boys" as none of them see the other sex as a separate species. My ds has always had plenty of friends who are girls and my dds have always had plenty of friends who are boys. Friends are friends

I agree. DD is 15 and has plenty of friends who are boys, but isn't really interested in relationships just yet - partly because she sees that a lot of the boys of her age are still quite immature compared to the girls. She has a few friends at the single sex girls' school, and they are obsessed with boys and boyfriends!

I went to an all girls school and it was the best thing. The girls were confident and strong willed - able to hold their own and able to concentrate on their studies and development. I would 110% recommend it and think they are the way forward. The school knows how to handle girls - and girls have the confidence to come to terms with puberty and all that goes with it while in a protected environment.

It is completely possible to meet boys in extra curriculars and especially bars etc once in 6th form. But you aren’t distracted at school. Most single sex schools have a partner school which they organise discos, some activities and socials with. I had no problem when I went to university - and actually always had friends who were boys the whole way through. None of my friends had any issues either.

So I would say a million percent send your child to single sex if possible ☺️

I read up on single sex schools during the campaign keep Scotland’s last state all girls school single sex, and I would send my daughter to a good single sex school in a heartbeat.

The fact that the campaign failed despite the pupils wanting to keep it single sex says everything

My brothers did single sex too (one brother went mixed at 6th form). The school was designed for boys and they are both formidable as adults. Also they had parties with girls and teenage girlfriends and such.

I think it’s a way to make your child confident, more protected and get better grades.

That said - you still have bullying (same as any school), you still need to give your child ‘the talk’. But these happen in every school - but the difference is the teachers can provide more targeted response. I don’t see any disadvantage and actually think they should be the future of education ☺️

I work in an all girls school, which my daughter also attends (final year).

It's not for everyone and issues arise as they do in any school. I would say that its been an overwhelmingly positive experience for my DD, and I feel her academic results and aspiration for the future are definitely higher than they would have been had she attended another school (although this is down to the school ethos as much as the single sex aspect).

There is common preconception that girls schools are all bitchy. What people tend to miss though is a lot of bitchiness in mixed schools happens over boys. The only issues my DD has had have been latter Year 9/early Year 10 which largely started when they began to mix with boys out of school and the jealousy and gossip kicked in.

Not only that, while there might be some cliquey elements, there are more girls to choose from as friends so perhaps more likely to find some you click with than in a school with a 50/50 mix.

That said, DD is looking forward to a mixed environment at college come September and I'm happy that she's heading off that way too as her school doesn't have a sixth form. I think single sex beyond Year 11 would definitely be a bit too much.

Not only that, while there might be some cliquey elements, there are more girls to choose from as friends so perhaps more likely to find some you click with than in a school with a 50/50 mix.

But why would you only choose from the girls? DD "clicks" with some of the boys at her school as well as some of the girls. Her pool of friends is not limited by the fact that only half of the school population are girls, she just has a mix of friends who are both boys and girls.

@AlexaShutUp fair comment, but some girls, especially in the younger years do gravitate towards single sex friendships.

There are plentynof opportunities to mix with boys out of school as well.

See, None of my dc have ever had to "navigate dealing with boys" as none of them see the other sex as a separate species. My ds has always had plenty of friends who are girls and my dds have always had plenty of friends who are boys. Friends are friends

See maybe my language was too soft. Sexual assaults on young girls by boys is massively on the increase up 71% since 2013. 7866 sexual assaults were reported 2017 with 225 of them being rapes. 204 of the sexual assaults were under ten. Wide spread sexual harassment of young girls happens at school even though people don’t like to even think never mind admit it.

So really it’s not about my dds not wanting to have boys as friends or not getting on with boys - it’s just that I want to ensure they have a safe space to learn in. It really isn’t about seeing males as a separate species.

If your dd is having a cracking time at school with 50% male friends good for her bit for me I choose this way for my dds.

Dds have lots of male cousins that they love and my friends have sons who they play with so they are not entering a life fit for a nun. They can choose where they want to go for 6th form.

My DD's are so much better equipped for real life having been to mixed schools than I was from my all girls. The thing is you have to emerge into real life at some point, and the later you do it the more difficult it can be. Luckily I left before 6th form as some of my friends who were single sex up until University had a really difficult time getting used to life outside the bubble. I love the fact my DD's don't see boys as anything apart from slightly annoying at times (and equally the boys think the girls are annoying at times.) They are not a strange species to be viewed from a distance, they are their friends, a shoulder to cry on when their girls groups are being a pain, they love the boys humour and they have learnt not to be distracted by any high jinks (and anyway my girls are up for a bit of high jinks themselves.) I felt completely repressed at all girls, not sexually, just in real life terms. It was like a distorted bubble.

I went to an all girls grammar school and found it no problem socialising with boys, in fact, some of my closest friends are men from my university days. In fairness may also be the case in mixed schools, but I found the girls were less bothered by their appearance and putting on make up than my friends' daughters who put a lot of effort in getting ready for school. Not that there's anything wrong with that but it's what you choose to spend your time on. I loved my school days, there was very little bitchiness and we had a lot of fun.

My two sons go to a single sex school too. I wouldn't necessarily be bothered either way but I liked the school and didn't see it as a disadvantage. I've had the opposite experience in how they interact with the girls they know; less silliness and boy/girl divides which was noticeable in their group of friends from outside school once they hit year 6 and above. I'm sure that settles down come the teenage years.. Our head is of the opinion that boys are more likely to engage in choirs in single sex schools, for example, as they're not worried about looking silly in front of the girls. Again, I'm sure this varies.

See, None of my dc have ever had to "navigate dealing with boys" as none of them see the other sex as a separate species. My ds has always had plenty of friends who are girls and my dds have always had plenty of friends who are boys. Friends are friends

Obviously if your DDs have found boys that they like and get on with that's great - they won't have anything particular to navigate there.

But what about the boys that comment on their appearance every time they walk into the classroom, the boys that try and peer up their skirt every time they go up the stairs, the boys that think it's funny to ping their bra strap? I think my DD deserves to be educated in a way where she can concentrate on her learning without having to deal with that sort of behaviour.

I know not all boys behave in that way (hopefully most boys). As a mother of a boy and a girl, I can see how they and their friends have matured differently. IN a single sex environment this has less of an impact.

My DS went to an all boys school. I have to say fighting, bullying etc were not tolerated there. And as others have said those who were artistic or musical were valued by school and pupils as much as those who excelled on the sports field or in the classroom. I don't think that is the same in a mixed environment where the boys themselves tend to 'hide' the softer skills

My DD is going from a single sex school to university (hopefully) in October, and she won't consciously be ''navigating'' anything either. I'm sure she'll be fine.

These threads are always full of such nonsense. Parents who send their daughters to mixed sex schools hope that there's no bitchiness, but it's not a formula to avoid bitchiness, far from it. They think that their daughters acquire the valuable ''social skill'' of talking to boys. I reckon my daughter can manage that. Whether it's a valuable skill that she would have traded for 6 years at an all girls school where successful, strong women are lauded and held up as examples, I don't think so. I think she'd have stuck with her great school that encourages girls and hit the ground running with the ''talking to boys'' challenge in her first couple of weeks at university.

But what about the boys that comment on their appearance every time they walk into the classroom, the boys that try and peer up their skirt every time they go up the stairs, the boys that think it's funny to ping their bra strap? I think my DD deserves to be educated in a way where she can concentrate on her learning without having to deal with that sort of behaviour.

Yes, it is priceless to just know that your daughter's school day is free from this.

The high value that is given to ''talking to boys'' is hilarious.

Talking to any stranger is a matter of confidence really and confidence comes from being supported and encouraged, it doesn't come from having your bra strap pinged and wondering if you really want to be one of three girls in a class of boys doing physics. And the teacher saying for some baffling reason ''Are you sure you want to do physics?''

If you have belief in yourself and value yourself, you can talk to anybody. And ''anybody'' includes boys.

Reading this thread has been so interesting. I'd actually completely forgot about how one of my friends was assaulted when we were in secondary school by a group of boys in our year. They surrounded her coming out of the bathroom and lifted her long skirt over her head and groped her. I remember she was so humiliated she didn't want anyone to know.

This was at the US equivalent of a high performing grammar school.

I've only ever experienced co-ed personally but reading this has opened my eyes to the potential benefits of single sex which I'd always seen as mostly a negative.

I'm not sure it's quite as black and white as some pps are suggesting. Like life, there are advantages and disadvantages to both. We didn't have a choice, like the majority of the population I would have thought, because all the comps here are mixed so unless you can afford private then your DC will mix with both sexes.

My eldest DD would have been horrified at going to a single sex school as all through primary her best friends were boys, and when she started at secondary the only person she wanted to be in a tutor group with was a boy (he felt the same which was quite touching in a way). They have since grown apart and she has friends who are girls (although Yr 9 girls seem to have some sort of existential crisis and a baffling addiction to 'drama' and 'beef' if her experience is anything to go on).

There are definitely times when boys have been annoying or seemingly got more preferential treatment (often from Male teachers) but I do think both sexes are learning about some of the stress points that exist in the real world and possibly how to (and how not too) navigate them. My DD will recount examples of misogyny that she has witnessed and "banter" but also how these have been handled by her and her peers, and members of staff. To me this is a valuable experience as unfortunately she will no doubt encounter this in her future.

It's impossible to do a controlled experiment with your child's education but overall I don't see any harm in both sexes learning to interact with each other and not view each other as 'other'. I think it is just as important for the next generation of boys to encounter a range of female behaviour and communication too. My DD has encountered kindness and friendship from both girls and boys (as well as the opposite). Some girls do worry about being "popular" and attractive, others with getting good grades and careers, and some with both - so just like post school life I guess.

I think it depends on the child. My DD is thriving at a big co-ed, her brother also goes there. I like that they have a common history and they chat about different teachers etc.

My DD is top sets maths and science so no holding her back or peer pressure. She is prone to high standards and some worrying so having some disorganised, laid back boys (generalisation I know) around is good to keep her steady. Both children have a couple of friends of the other sex too. It’s been great so far. It is a well run school.

I went to a single sex school (female). As someone who was described as a “Tomboy” growing up the majority of my friends were male throughout primary and having an older brother I gravitated towards what may be seen (especially in the 90’s) as boys toys and interests. Despite this I loved school and thrived- was this because it was single sex- I can’t really say. Yes it could be bitchy but I can’t see that being totally irradiated in a mixed environment. I think the main advantage was that despite being single sex we were two schools on one campus meaning at breaks, certain clubs and during 6th form you could interact with the boys side should you want. I do feel it’s crucial to still offer opportunities to mix socially

My DCs went/going to single sex schools. Now we’re considering a mixed school for Sixth Form for DD. Top priority remains academics though.

DD goes to a single sex secondary with a co-Ed sixth form.

She enjoys it and I am fairly pleasantly surprised with it as I feared it would go too cliquey.

The head though is very feminist and very much encourages that girls can do everything, nothing is not achievable and whiles pushes for STEM also is in favour for a broad and classical education,

Based on that DD lost some of her girly-ness and has more confidence in thinking what she can achieve.

Negative is the missing interaction with males. She has otherwise more female ordinated hobbies and apart from her Scout group doesn’t interact with boys/males until she is 16.

My dd really likes the all girls environment. I think the girls feel they can be themselves without feeling judged and having to impress anyone.