Single sex high schools yay or nay ?

[nameisnotimportant]

I'm looking for opinions on single sex high schools. Are they better or worse ?
Would you prefer one over the other for your child ? Even better if you went to a single sex high school, how did you find it ?

@JaneNorman Agree with everything you say. I have always been in mixed schools and the top students at all the high schools I have been to (we moved around a lot) were girls - including in science subjects. I think it's completely sexist to tell girls they are not able to do well because boys are around. Why not?!

And I have friends with girls in all-girls schools who have said the drama and nastiness they have experienced was awful and many moved their girls to mixed schools for sixth form.

I would never send either of my DC go a single sex school
Society isn’t single sex and people shouldn’t be segregated by sex

I went to mixed, I have two girls - one in single sex, one in mixed. My preference is definitely coed, as that is real life, but having said that, daughter in single sex school has plenty of male friends outside of school, as she is very sociable, so I am not worried about interaction with boys (also encouraged her to do mixed extra curricular activities, which worked well) She will probably go co-ed for sixth form, but the girls' school has been less of an issue than I anticipated

Children don’t have to replicate “real life” in school. Parents can do that. Girls often learn better without boys around. There is no evidence that girls behave poorly without boys in the class. Boys can dominate some subjects and likewise be put off others that are girl dominated.

My DDs attended girls schools and they met plenty of boys. As a parent you facilitate this. School is only part of their life. University introduces boys and girls are well prepared for the work place. DD1 is in a male dominated career and she certainly holds her own.

You have to look at your own dc though and decide what’s best for them. Girls should not be used to keep boys in order in any school. Although my DDs has loads of male friends, they didn’t want to learn with them. They liked their girl enclaves and not dressing to impress.

Definitely a yay from me.

I was at a mixed school myself, but sent my two daughters to an all-girls secondary school. They saw no bitchiness or bullying at all, and were very happy.

There were formal arrangements for mixing with the nearby boys school, especially in the 6th form, but lots of informal ones too, including on public transport.

We have neighbours who are boys, friends of my DDs had brothers and there were informal gatherings via school. It’s hardly a big free existence. What girls schools do mean is the girl can choose the boys she wants to be around. Looking around at my DDs school friends I cannot see any who are not thriving at work, socially or personally or who feel they should have been at a co Ed school. I’m sure their parents chose wisely to meet their needs.

big free !! Boy free existence

My daughter is at a mixed school now and asked if she could go to a single sex school for sixth form. She finds the boys generally too loud, boisterous and disruptive. She says she wants to go to a school to learn, not deal with the egos of the boys. She has plenty of girls in her year she can't stand either, but she finds that too much of her teachers attention is in dealing with the boys (or trying to unsuccessfully).
She will be going to a more selective all girls school next year. We will have to move facilitate this which I don't mind.
Any girl I know who went to a single sex school had no trouble relating to boys, it has to be said...

It's interesting reading people's anecdotes. I always find it perplexing that the biggest critics of single sex schools haven't attended them. It seems odd to me that such people are so invested in criticising something they haven't experienced and don't understand.

Regardless of anecdotes and their views, girls perform better academically in single sex schools. Research has consistently shown this to be the case. It's not sexist to acknowledge that fact. It's also not sexist to acknowledge that girls and women are under-represented in STEM subjects. It's a fact.

There will always be people telling girls they should put up with a patriarchal society that tells them to shut up and try to fit in to the roles that society gives them. After all compliant women rarely make history or challenge the status quo

My first daughter now in year 12 attend single girls school and she loved it and no problems and she has a group of good friends and most of them are in the same college now . I also have Y9 & Y7 in the same girls school and they love it. They love the school and it’s the only girls school in my county. The school has a very good reputation and outstanding so many girls goes there but other school which is attached to my girls school used to be boys only but the behaviour was bad so they decided to change it to mixed school few years ago and it has improved.

An interesting statistic from the Institute of Physics - a girl is TWO THIRDS more likely to take physics a-level in a single sex school than at a mixed school.

I think single sex schools allow girls in particular to chose subjects they genuinely like without being put off by being a minority in the classroom. Would be interesting to see if there are any other studies into whether more boys chose creative subjects in all boys schools.

I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer though. I personally like the diamond structure - mixed for primary, single sex to 16 and then back to mixed for sixth form. Eldest is now at an all girls school but it will be her choice at 16 whether she stays where she is or moved to co-Ed.

I have boy / girl twins and boys for me it’s essential both sexes but girls it depends on the school and the girl. My daughter started at an all girl grammar - girls put too much pressure on themselves and the teachers can put more pressure on in an all girls grammar environment as they feed off the girls trying to do their best. But she now goes to a very nurturing all girls private and I don’t think it would be as nurturing if it was co-Ed. I also think it depends on the girl. If she prefers to mix with mainly girls than she would be suited to an all girls situation - but if she is a girl with lots of friends from both sexes than navigating an all girl world would be hard. Girls are complicated creatures and their friendships challenging in terms of negotiating groups. In my experience boys stand next to each other...and they are all part of the gang.

It was fairly obvious at primary that the girls were friends with girls by y5/6. Boys with boys. Interests, sports, humour, etc all started to move in different directions. The idea that would merge again in y7 doesn’t hold water in my view.

When my DD was at a girls boarding school, the few that left for 6th form went to girls only day schools! Co Ed didn’t seem to feature.

Not that single sex was an option for dd as the local girls school is largely single faith and I disagree with that, but for her, mixed has been much better. She is now in y10 and very alternative and the last couple of years have been difficult socially - she isn't bullied, but neither is she accepted. If she didnt have male friends she would be completely on her own.

Being who you are doesn’t mean you will be accepted in any school. Even boys can be picky. In a girls school you often find outliers and they are accepted. We found more inclusive attitudes amongst the girls. Less girly in many ways.

Single sex for girls most definitely. I went to a mixed primary and all girls secondary. The relief of knowing if you were having a horrendous period, face broken out in spots etc you weren’t worried about what the boys would think, not that you should, but when you’re a teenager you do and it’s a tough, vulnerable time for all kids. A single sex school takes all that worry off the table. I would say it’s important that girls mix with boys through another outlet too though.

I have 2 DS, both in mixed schools. My eldest is a sensitive soul and not very sporty so figured he’d do well in mixed. My youngest would fit in to both but I will keep him in mixed all the way through.

Watching this with interest. It's great hearing the pros and cons. DD1 is in Y6 and am genuinely undecided whether she should go to a selective mixed school or the local girls school. I went to a mixed school until I was 13, then all girls which I really struggled with. But the all girls was a very academic school with little pastoral care while the mixed was pretty liberal - no uniform. From this experience I've been leaning towards mixed, but there is no question I got excellent results at my all girls. It was definitely meaner than the mixed school but that could just have been because of the different ethos and age groups involved.

Some of the boys I know had a great time at boys schools. They catered for all types of child from arty ones to sporty ones and all in between. Often the bigger the number of boys, the more opportunities ther are and the more there is another child like yours. It is not true all sporty boys go to boys schools. My DD knows loads of boys who went to boys schools and they had their needs addressed very well. Fantastic art, photography, libraries, cooking, music and drama were outstanding and enjoyed by those who wanted to do it.

Girls can be "mean" evrywhre.Often it is led by wanting to look godd for boys who can be judgemental. Boys can make nasty comments about looks too.

I fundamentally disagree with single sex schools because it sends the wrong signals about boys and girls having different options. If we're trying to make both sexes equal then segregating them during education seems backwards to me.

Like the post from Pipandmum, our experience is similar with DD. She attended co-Ed prep than co-Ed boarding until after she sat her GCSEs. Her choice was to move to a girls school for 6th form (day school) as she wanted to focus on her studies for the most important 2 years without the distraction of boys. She felt they dominated a lot in class and there was mild level disruption that she just became bored with. The added advantage of all girls too was a much bigger pool for friendship groups. I appreciate that might not be such an issue in large intake co-Ed schools.
DS attended same co-Ed prep but went on to an all boys boarding school. He loved his time there but sometimes got wistful for a co-Ed environment. He did appreciate though that him and his friends could do lots of soft options if they wanted without feeling under pressure to conform to type. Both DC got to choose for themselves which senior school they would attend (either day or boarding, their choice). DS has no problems what so ever with having friendships with girls. Actually shares a flat with 3 girls at Uni that he became friends with in 1st year.

I’m not sure I am a fan of the diamond structure. Why re-introduce the opposite sex right at the most important time academically (and when hormones are most rampant 😁).

These answers are great and have really helped me think it through. It's very interesting that the running theme is that single sex is usually better for girls but not so important for boys. It's definitely been a lot more positive than I was expecting!

I went to a single sex school 11-16, and whilst I didn’t have a terrible time, I would never send my dd to one. The main reason is that I saw boys as ‘other’ and it negatively impacted my friendships and relationships with them later.

Nay from me. Life isn't single sex and I didn't want to attend a school that was or send my DC to one.

My DD goes to a mixed high school, and she would laugh so hard if she heard the old tropes of 'feeling sexually threatened', ' girls are distracted from schoolwork by trying to impress boys', 'some subjects are dominated by boys' - it's not remotely like that in her school!

She has a respectful bantery relationship with the boys in her class although her main friends seem to be girls. She would HATE the local (private) girls' school - they all seem really prissy, highly strung, and afraid of boys! By the way I do realise the irony of just having stereotyped these girls - I'm sure they're not all like that (although we know a few personally who ARE like that), but it just gives a different perspective!

My daughter is at an all girls school (has a co Ed sixth form). She is really enjoying it and has a really good groups of friends. Any bullying is dealt with instantly and well. I think it does come down to how good the school is as well as just being single sex. The school also (pre covid) holds social events with the boys school so she can mix with boys then :)