Single sex high schools yay or nay ?

[nameisnotimportant]

I'm looking for opinions on single sex high schools. Are they better or worse ?
Would you prefer one over the other for your child ? Even better if you went to a single sex high school, how did you find it ?

My DD would laugh really hard too at the thought that she was prissy, highly strung and scared of boys! What total bollocks. You don’t really know any of the girls do you? Just wild inaccurate (and biased) assumptions without any real knowledge.

My two (girl and boy) have done state primary, then single sex 11-16. Dd is now in a mixed sixth form and ds will do the same (his boys school is mixed in the sixth form anyway but he will probably move).

There are pros and cons, which have all already been mentioned. One thing that's fairly specific to us, is quite severe acne in the 11-14 years. I had the same experience and boys made me miserable with their comments (and also, just the fact that it was boys noticing made me feel awful/unattractive etc). All of us have gone on to have roaccutane treatment which cleared it up before sixth form (well, ds is on the waiting list at 14).

Dd hated having acne and how it made her feel, but she never had any comments and I think being in an all girls environment helped her. I know that over the summer (pre sixth form) she started to get some break outs and she was distraught at the thought of starting a mixed sixth form with bad skin. In the end it cleared up.

I think there's just naturally less pressure on how you look for the opposite sex at single sex schools, which is quite helpful in the 11-16 years.

On the flip side, dd did find that all girls got quite stressy/pressured as the girls were quite intense about their work. Ds isn't finding the same at a boys school!

I went to single sex and hated it. I sent my DS to single sex because the Head Teacher convinced me that it's better for boys as they learn differently to girls so if it's all boys the teacher tailors the type of teaching to suit how boys learn.

Our top 4 secondary school choices for DD are single sex schools; the other 2 are mixed.
I never imagined sending my DD to a single sex school especially as all state schools where I grew up were and still are mixed. I However, the girls schools (top choice in particular) seem the right fit for DD. She will likely be in a mixed sixth form whichever school she goes to.

Both of my daughters have been to an all girls secondary school. My eldest absolutely hated it, we moved her to a mixed sex secondary in year 9 and she was much happier. My youngest is in year 10 at the all girls school and she loves it. Guess it definitely depends on the personality of the child.

I was staunchly in favour of co-ed. Growing up with sisters, attending a girls school for primary and secondary, and girls only extra curricular classes, left me feeling like I was interacting with aliens when I got up college.

But now, with hindsight, I’m very appreciative of the time in secondary school, free from gender discrimination and the confidence and self belief that was fostered.

Looking at schools for ds and dd, I was strongly struck by how nurturing and calm the all-girls schools were. In the all-boys schools I wouldn’t have been surprised to glimpse barbed wire and gun towers 🤣. If I could choose an all girls school for ds I think I would!

Both my DS go to a boys grammar school. It has been amazing for them. Very nurturing, tough on bad behaviour and a broad curriculum of subjects. The boys are taught to be be independant, polite and confident young men. Girls are accepted in the 6th form and social events are in conjunction with the girls' school. Extra-curricular activates are also mixed sex.

Derailing the thread slightly I know, but as a mother of three boys I find this thread really depressing (even though we are considering a boys only secondary school for our DS). Some of the comments here really bring home how many mothers of girls view boys as such a negative, disruptive, abusive presence in their daughters' lives. Makes me wonder why on earth I'm bothering to try and raise my boys to be good, kind, decent citizens. Mothers of girls will loathe and despise them on principle anyway. No wonder the vast majority of gender disappointment threads on MN are about women feeling like a failure for producing boys.

But in answer to your question, OP, surely it depends on the individual school and the individual child? Single sex will work for some and not others. I'm still not 100% convinced of the benefits for my own child if I'm honest.

I went to an all girls grammar school and hated it. I had 3 brothers and definitely found it super weird how some girls thought boys were like. Also their attitudes to some things as I hated drama. The making of me was going to a mixed 6th form - I really thrived!

Maybe you shouid be more upset that boys as a whole ARE a disruptive, negative influence in the classroom rather than blaming mothers of girls. And I say that as a mother of two sons.

This ‘not all men’ shit really grinds my gears. As does this defensiveness from mothers of boys.

Look at the stats for sexual assault/ sexist verbal abuse of girls in mixed schools - they’re horrific. My daughter and her friends were being called ‘fucking bitches’, ‘ugly bitches’ etc by boys in year 6. And this in a very upmarket area, with an exclusively middle class cohort, in a catholic school. The mothers of those boys no doubt thought they were lovely and kind. But many also seemed proud of their sons ‘alpha’ behaviour.

Regardless, there is nothing wrong in wanting an all-girl space, esp in those crucial years of adolescence when they are finding themselves and going through the turbulence of puberty. It’s a wonderful few years of freedom for most. My daughter was shocked at the sexist comments her friends in the local mixed school have come to accept as ‘banter’ because they’re so numbingly used to it. Boys joined her 6th form and dominated EVERYTHING from day one.

My eldest is at a single sex school and my youngest will follow her. She’s very happy. It’s a very forward thinking with a strong female mentality. They very much teach and train the girls/women that they can do or be whatever they choose. All options are open to them. The only comparisons will be with other females. They are taught to be independent in thought and action. It blew the mixed sex alternative out the water as far as I was concerned.
My single sex school was much more traditional (but over 25 years ago!) but I was very happy there.
I intend to make sure she takes up any opportunities presented to work and spend time with boys from other schools etc...
I wouldn’t have chosen single sex purely in principle but it was the best for my daughters.

Single sex schools are good for some and not for others - a decision either way needs to be child centric. We are pro single sex for the focussed facilities for the boys which they are most passionate about. Sharing facilities divides cash resources and space already small confined London schools.

One friend went to all girls school where anorexia was rife. One went to an all girls school and has friends for life, however she is hopeless with relationships, not sure if this is why but boys at single sex schools always seem a bit...at sea when it comes to the opposite sex.

I think single sex schools are great. I went to an all girls school and loved it. Its the norm where I'm from though, most secondary schools are single sex and even some of the grammar schools

My sisters dd goes to all girls and she is happy but boy mad. Literally follow boys around the town centreand goes on dates with boys she hardly knows through wassapp groups etc.

I don't feel it's very safe for her and I worry.
I'm happy my dd mixes with boys everyday and doesn't put them in a pedestal She is well aware of what boys are like and has learnt already which type to steer away from

I'd rather learn along side boys than be segregated. This just creates the 'other'
Surely together is better than telling girls that they can't learn with boys. If we want an equal world then it needs to start from the cradle and throughout school too. I hate the mindset that some have that 'not my daughter' if we all thought this way then what hope would there be for the future for women

I have a son too and he has a very mixed group of mates. Girls and boys. There is no teasing about this from other kids. It's lovely

It depends on your DC and it depends on the school, of course.
DD went to a girls' GS which suited her very well. I'm sure she'd have been fine in a coed too, but I think the single sex was a bit better for her. She had no problem whatever getting on with the lads when she got to uni, on a male-heavy course and has acquired a very nice boyfriend at this point.

I’m vehemently against single sex schools. I went to one and it was fine but I am much happier my kids are mixed. I’ve seen no evidence at all that it impacts on learning. My kids have very good friends with both sexes. They learn well together and are very much peers in everything they do. I think it’s far more natural and a reflection of real life.

As Mum to 2 boys at a single sex school I am going to go against the grain and say that I think I prefer it. DS1 (15) has no shortage of friends who are girls and is learning quite well how to manage relationships. In class I think it is the same as for girls and there is less pressure to impress and more focus on learning.

I went to a girls grammar, many moons ago, and loved it.
I meet up with several of the girls from my class each year (we're mid 50s now) and we all look back fondly on those days, even though we have become friends as adults now.
dh went to a mixed school

Neither of us felt strongly about wanting / not wanting single sex for our dc, but, when we looked at options locally, the schools that were the best fit for my dc happened to be single sex.
I would 100% make the same decision again.

ds, in particular really thrived in his school. He is quite 'bright' (in a quick to understand things sort of way, and top sets sort of a way) but not 'academic' in that he doesn't like studying, he has ADHD and completely lacks time planning and organisational ability. The staff at his school with one notable exception really 'got him'. Obviously I have no 'control' as to whether this was because they were used to teaching all boys, all the time, or whether they were just a great staff.
In truth, dd1 would have thrived at the boys' school . They had a real emphasis on outdoor ed and that would have suited her down to the ground.
Both dds went to a girls' school, and there was nothing about it being a girls' school that made it a bad experience. I mean, I do have issues with some things, but nothing to do with the fact there were no boys there.
All went to mixed 6th form.

I think, crucially, all did hobbies / mixed with both boys and girls throughout their teens outside school, and I do think that is important anyway, but is particularly important if they go to a single sex school.

Girl Grammar Schools 100% all the time

Surly that depends quite a bit on the child?
I would not send my DS to a boys school but my DD does go to an all girls school.
For her it is the perfect choice. She if focused and academic and always complained how in yr6 the boys where disruptive. I see boys behaviour at secondary and I know she does not miss anything. She have great group of friends, in fact, I think she never complained about any of the girls really, so for her this was a good choice.
I am not worried about not mixing with boys. She will have her chance later in life, it's not exactly that she lives in isolation from the world around her. She still see, meet and interact with men in many situations (ok, that's sounds bad 😀) but she dose not have to deal with a daily stress and emotional pressures of sexism so common in a mixed school.

I went to a single sex state school - absolutely loved it and my experience inspired me to go on to be a teacher. I experienced no bullying, only excellent camaraderie, girls wanting to be good in STEM and a culture of support. No one I knew had an eating disorder either which is often pedalled out in discussion about girls schools.
I would sent DD to a girls school in a heartbeat if I could but I cannot find a similarly good boys option for DS so in the spirit of fairness they will go to a mixed school.

Why would anyone think eating disorders only occur in girls’ schools? All girls, regardless of where they are educated, can have mental health issues.

Boys can be encouraged, subliminally, to be the alpha male type and can show off their masculinity by being offensive. Parents like a boyish boy and this can spill over into poor behaviour towards girls. It’s echoing a laddish trait in society anyway so it’s hardly surprising it’s seen in young people. They might have poor role models at home. Obviously most boys are not like this but some are. Girls are better off making their own male friends. Most girls don’t chase after boys either.

Most girls don’t chase after boys either.

Yes... I'd take a bet that those in girls' schools who do probably would if they were in mixed schools too.

I chose to go to an all-girls high school, many moons ago, and very far away. But it was the making of me. I blossomed socially, something I think I couldn't have done in a co-ed environment.

I left primary/middle school painfully shy, sensitive and very withdrawn because of bullying issues, from boys--and from girls who were entirely self-defined by how they were accepted and treated by other boys. I refused to head back into that environment. So, I didn't. I found out who I was in a supportive environment of sisterhood. I had no problem socialising with the opposite sex outside of school, and later in uni and the working world.