School says my son must cut his hair or be excluded

[alexis52]

I have 2 children 1boy aged11 1 girl aged 14. They both go to that same school but recently they have a new head master who changed some of the uniform policy's. to begin with they were good changes like skirts can't be shorter than the knee and ties had to come down to the stomach but then he changed the hair policies. This did not effect my daughter because she fell into all the categories but it did effect my son. His hair is about an inch or so past his shoulder, the head said that boys hair must not come over The colour and I got an email telling me to cut his hair. I have refused to cut his hair and long hair doesn't effect his work because he ties it up for certain classes like PE and cookery and doesn't play with it. The school have now threatened that if I don't cut his hair soon he will be excluded .

If it is a state-maintained school they cannot have different rules for boys than girls, otherwise it's sex-based discrimination.
I'm afraid independent schools often say 'once it's on the collar it must be cut'.

If he were Sikh, he would be allowed it long. I'm all for following rules, but hair length in the 21st century isn't something people should be dictating to others. Why do we insist as a society that boys must be X, girls must be Y?

FWIW, my son's school altered their hair policy when we wrote asking why boys had to cut but girls didn't. All children now have the same rules, i.e. tied back at all times, school coloured hair ties, etc. but that is perfectly reasonable.

I’m astounded at the number of posters saying to get it cut! Absolutely blatant sex discrimination, and the head needs to be told that. He appears to think he’s above the law. I’d love to be the one to tell him!

Sex based discrimination is not okay. Tell your son to say he is identifying as non binary. Or a girl.
Seriously though I actually would challenge this one. It’s not fair. An “off the collar” policy for both sexes would be fine.

I'd also make a formal query about why it is OK for girls to have long hair and not boys. Discriminatory nonsense.

You have three choices.

1. He cuts his hair a little and stays at this school.
2. He gets excluded. Not sure what happens after exclusion, but presumably he will only return to school if he has a trim.
3. He gives to another school or us home schooled.

You pays your money and you takes your choice.
My husband works in an environment where he is expected to wear a suit, as it happens he looks great in a suit, but even if he didn’t, he’d still have to dress accordingly.
The school you chose to send your children too has rules, don’t like the rules, find another school, don’t expect the rules to change!

And my rules for DS growing his hair were that it's kept clean, kept tied up at school/sports, and kept out of his eyes at home- your DS needs to learn to tie it back himself!

Can he tie it up 100% of the time? Would that comply with the rules?

(I'm not a fan of uniform rules and live in a country where we don't have any.)

I’d also be checking with ofsted or whoever oversees schools in England if this is a valid basis for excluding a boy and not a girl - I’d be amazed if it was allowed.

I think its discrimination too. Just needs to be neat.

Your son is representing his school so cut his hair as required for him to stay. Discipline is a good life lesson!

@nicky7654 are the girls not representing the school? Do you feel they should have to keep their hair short too?

Our school doesn't have a short hair for boys policy. What they do say is if they have hair past their shoulders, or if the hair is getting in their face, they need to tie it back. They’re also only allowed hairbands and accessories in school colours. This is for both boys and girls.

It’s discriminatory to have one rule for the boys, and another for the girls.

I love the way schools worry over undone buttons, hair length and so on and force young people to wear uncomfortable clothes when they should really be focussing on fostering a love of learning.

Appalling, re they making the girls cut their hair? ask them that, and if not, ask them why not!

Oh god, another idiotic manager headteacher who thinks dressing all the kids up like extras from Tom Brown's Schooldays will make all the discipline issues disappear in a puff of smoke.

Stay calm, insist (in writing) that sex-based discrimination is illegal and ensure your son remains polite. Don't cut his hair.

All pupils with long hair should tie it up.

I don't think it's right to say that boys can't have long hair.

It takes only a few seconds to make a ponytail though so there is no excuse.

Just cut his hair. The head teacher is trying to raise standards and improve professionalism.

All the 'rules are rules' nonsense is how we end up with women being told to wear high heels and skirts when working on reception desks.

We also need to teach our children to stand up for themselves in unfair situations.

I love the way schools worry over undone buttons, hair length and so on and force young people to wear uncomfortable clothes when they should really be focussing on fostering a love of learning

^ this.

This would be a hill to die on for me.

It’s sex based discrimination.

Unless he’s going to make all the girls have their hair cut above their shoulders he can’t demand the boys have to either.

To me it’s the same as saying girls have to wear skirts and are not allowed to wear trousers, it’s completely wrong.

How ridiculous.

My son was told to get his hair cut when we had a new head in primary. I just ignored it. Nothing happened.

I teach my kids to consider if rules are fair and reasonable, rather than mindlessly obeying them.

Completely nonsense to make such a song and dance about uniform and conformity. Has the head spent any time in a modern workplace ever, or is he stuck in some stupid little 1950s bubble?

My daughter went to a selective, multi award winning, non uniform, sixth form college. On the first day they did a lovely group photo of all the kids with crazy multi coloured hair. All kids with excellent GCSEs who went on to get excellent A levels.

And to all the posters saying the ops DS needs to just get his haircut because it’s about raising the standards at the school and improve professionalism....

What exactly is unprofessional about long hair?

For the sake I'd his education I would cut it. He can grow it again another time.

*For his educations sake

For the sake I'd his education I would cut it. He can grow it again another time

And the next time some stupid rule gets implemented?

I'm sorry but if you are prepared to chop perfectly acceptable clean presentable hair off to suit some guy on a power trip then hes probably going to go home and think if the next thing he can get parents to do. Its solves nothing.

What message are you teaching your kid if you accept sexist discrimination as ok?