School says my son must cut his hair or be excluded

[alexis52]

I have 2 children 1boy aged11 1 girl aged 14. They both go to that same school but recently they have a new head master who changed some of the uniform policy's. to begin with they were good changes like skirts can't be shorter than the knee and ties had to come down to the stomach but then he changed the hair policies. This did not effect my daughter because she fell into all the categories but it did effect my son. His hair is about an inch or so past his shoulder, the head said that boys hair must not come over The colour and I got an email telling me to cut his hair. I have refused to cut his hair and long hair doesn't effect his work because he ties it up for certain classes like PE and cookery and doesn't play with it. The school have now threatened that if I don't cut his hair soon he will be excluded .

[AnneLovesGilbert]

It’s absolutely a hill I’d choose to die on. They can’t ban long hair if it’s for religious or cultural reasons, they can’t ban long hair on girls, they therefore can’t ban it in boys. Ridiculous.

And fuck off to the inevitable and unimaginative snowflake comments. Better to raise someone with a questioning mind than a sheep.

[PanamaPattie]

How incredibly petty of the Head. Trying to make a name for themselves. Tie too short or hair too long. Bonkers.

[Georgie31]

I find this extremely sexist!!! Girls can have hair as long as they like but boys can't!! I'm shocked really shocked! How would they handle this if a child was struggling with their gender identity?! If your son likes his hair the way that it is I would refuse to cut it out of principle really.

[Crackerofdoom]

I can't believe this is still happening. I remember my parents going into the school to defend his long hair 30 years ago. The school backed down in the end.

He got great exam results and is now a teacher himself (still with long hair)

I know that for a lot of people it isn't a big deal and he should just cut it but it is the thin end of the wedge.

I would fight it in your position.

[Crackerofdoom]

Sorry-the him is my older brother

[Giganticshark]

Tell them he identifies as a girl, as they're allowed long hair. Problem sorted

[JudyCoolibar]

The head is acting unlawfully. As people have said, this is clear discrimination. Further, the official school exclusion guidance says that it is not appropriate to exclude pupils for uniform issues.

Point out to him and the governors that flouting the law is a seriously bad example to set to the school's pupils.

[JudyCoolibar]

Ridiculous snowflake nonsense

Why do people not realise that as soon as they resort to the "snowflake" terminology they have exposed themselves as unimaginative bigots and have lost the argument?

[JudyCoolibar]

If your DS is given a similar request but can't/won't, then this becomes a health and safety issue and I agree with the school.

It's only a health and safety issue in certain lessons like some science and DT lessons, and possibly PE. If he can't tie it back due to a disability, the school needs to help him under its duty to make reasonable adjustments.

[clpsmum]

Do not cut his hair. This is wrong on every level go to cab and read through the equality act

[clpsmum]

@Growingboys poor boy if his mother ignored the fact her children were being treated differently because of their gender. Not a snowflake at all. It's discrimination.

[Comefromaway]

It's only a health and safety issue in certain lessons like some science and DT lessons, and possibly PE. If he can't tie it back due to a disability, the school needs to help him under its duty to make reasonable adjustments.

Absolutely this. The same would apply to a child unable to tie shoe laces for PE.

I am personally in favour of a all long hair must be tied back at all times rule for boys and girls but if this is not the rule for girls it shouldn't be any different for boys.

[RiftGibbon]

Sexist and ridiculous. Either all pupils have shory hair, or long hair is tied back.
Why are we so obsessed with conforming rather than focusing on ability/competence?

[Sunny4876]

Tell him to put it up in a man bun every morning,above the collar then like they've asked for

[Alanna1]

I would contact the EHRC for advice and ask them if they would write to the school about discrimination.

[Miriel]

It's discrimination unless they're also requiring girls to have short hair. A rule that hair must be either short or tied back is reasonable. This isn't. I wouldn't just make him get a haircut to avoid conflict, either. Uniform clothes can be taken off after school. Cutting your hair changes how you look all the time. Unfair rules need to be challenged.

[Hersetta427]

Cut his hair or withdraw him and find another school - those are your options.

[alexis52]

Tell him to put it up in a man bun every morning,above the collar
He can't really put his hair in a bun because it isn't long enough so I just put it in a ponytail at the crown of his head that's keeps it off his collar and out his face

[titchy]

So if his hair is in a pony tail there's no problem is that right? In which case put it in a fucking ponytail - it takes about 5 seconds. Bollocks you don't have enough time - that's looking for a reason to complain.

[JudyCoolibar]

Cut his hair or withdraw him and find another school - those are your options.

No, they aren't. The realistic option is to point out to the school that this is unlawful discrimination and to suggest that they take urgent legal advice. If that doesn't work, there are further options in terms of legal challenges. It's really important that equality rights aren't allowed to erode.

[JudyCoolibar]

So if his hair is in a pony tail there's no problem is that right? In which case put it in a fucking ponytail

No, it isn't right. The school is telling him he must get his hair cut.

How hard can it be to read the original post properly?

[BreatheAndFocus]

The hair rule should be the same for boys and girls. It’s usually something like “Hair that comes below the shoulders should be tied back”. That’s fine.

OP, tell them it’s sex discrimination but make sure your son’s hair is neat and tied back for school. That way they can’t say it looks scruffy and they can’t say it’s a Health and Safety matter.

[SarahTancredi]

How can he learn to tie it back without having the hair to practice on?

If he was an NT child who was being lazy etc it would be different but if he needs practice then surely it would be treated as we treated our toddler and small girls who we did their hair until they were able to do it themselves...

If it's just a case of putting it up it's a few seconds could probably get up a few minutes earlier to get it done. But it's just plain cruel to cut it off cos some sexist twit said so.

[nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut]

Its sex discrimination! If it was bright blue I could understand but why should boys have short hair? To fit an outdated gender stereotype?