Indie vs “super state”

[Paribus]

Wr are very fortunate in that our DD got 4 offers from indies (FHSS, Queen’s Gate, Queen’s college and G&L) and were trying to pick up the best for her- however today she (out of the blue!!) got an offer from Grey Coat Hospital School as well.
We are truly baffled and don’t know where to start. Our kids have always been privately educated, we are expats so don’t onow an awful lot about state schools here.
What would you do? Independent? “Super state”?? Is GCHS really that great?? Please, please help!! Any advice will be so gratefully received!

Hi there, that’s a tough choice! I have a friend whose two daughters have been to Grey Coat and have only excellent things to say about it.

I have a friend whose daughter is at Queen’s College and loves it- and has turned down a more academic school for DD2 to send her with her sister. They say it is really friendly and the head is amazing.

I guess it will come down to what your daughter’s strengths are, which school you got the best feel from etc. Personally, if money isn’t a consideration, of your choices I’d go for G&L but that’s only based on my DD which is no help!

Presumably it can't be totally "out of the blue" since you must have put GCHS on your list of state preferences? So I think you simply do what thousands of other parents are doing and consider why you applied for this state option in the first place, why you applied for the independent options, and then make your decision. We applied for various state, grammar and independent options for my DD 2 yrs ago and at this stage you simply have to make a decision.

Hello all, Hoping for advice. We have today had our state school offer of Lady Margaret School. We have an Indy offer for PHS and IPS but have ruled out IPS because it’s co-ed. Question is, PHS vs LMS what would you do. Money isn’t an issue. I hope everyone got good news today. x

In your shoes I would go for distance tbh. Grey Coat is v v good though and better academically than some of the other options you have. It is as close to a private experience as you can get in a state school and the girls have amazing opportunities not available to lots of privates and states due to the history and links the school has. Its not a great option if you want a true British state school experience or if your child is low ability. By your lists it doesn't sound like that's what you're after anyway.

Also bear in mind the population in privates is more fluid than in super states like GC. If GC doesn't work out it's likely you could move to private. Very unlikely to be a possibility the other way round.

Truthfully, I’d go for a great State over a decent indie everytime (and DDs have been in both the State and Private sector and I was privately educated). That’s just personal opinion though - really it’s about what feeling you and DD got from the schools & quite honestly go with your gut. They are all going to have pro’s and cons, trust your instincts and go with it!

Thank you very much ladies, this is so, so helpful.

@Autumnnightsaredrawingin, can i ask where did your friend’s dds go after the GC?

@winterfruit, we never thought we’d be offered GC although it was indeed on our list! We have an (awful) local comp nearby so always thought would get that one.

@Malmontar, all those schools are about the same distance from us apart from G&L, which is a bit further away- doesn’t help the decision making process, i know!

@SJaneS48, i guess by decent indie you mean QG and QC? Thank you!

Ladies, you are a life line, honestly. I really, really appreciate your help.

We chose LMS over Surbiton. It was a grave errror. There was a new head and the ethos was dire and remained dire - a very harsh environment. DD moved at the end of Y8.

Head has changed now - and LMS may have recovered. It was very mixed - an unhealthy tale of two cities.

If money is no object PHS hands down. In our experience the reality was v different from the reputation. What does yr dd want?

Thanks Roses. I think she just wants the whole school application thing to be over! I think her preference is Putney, I have heard people speaking badly of PHS, tales of girls going off the rails, that sort of thing, it's making me a little nervous about it.

Both went to excellent universities, I can’t remember which ones, but both did very well. Good luck!

The parents who can't afford the independent schools in sw london, do enjoy salacious stories ime. I know many lovely phs girls and yes some girls at all schools will go off the rails: LMS, Greycoat, St Cecilia's, Sacred Heart included.

Thank you Roses, very much appreciate your opinion on this. We just paid the deposit and you have made me feel much better about it!

@paribus I'd go for Grey Coat in that case. It's very likely there will be girls there who also had offers/could afford privates.

OP we opted for GCH for our girls and if your daughter is (or has the potential to be) self motivated and ambitious then I think it’s a great school.... it’s diverse, has a good dose of “real life” compared to some indies, I think...and so far we only have positive things to say about it...

Hi OP my friend is an ex pat in London and her DD goes to Grey Coat. She is having the most amazing time there - she is a real all rounder and is thriving there.

There is such a mix of students but all are ambitious girls and if you want your DD to meet girls from all backgrounds, with a unifying purpose of wanting to achieve great things in life - and by this I mean in science, the arts, media etc, not by becoming a millionaire - then this is the school for her.

I’ll take your GCH place for my daughter! Sadly didn’t get a place there (our first choice) and am on the waiting list for an independent.

GCH is the choice of MPs who want to send their DDs to private schools but can’t face the political disapproval which comes from that.

Great school.

Thank you very much @Autumnnightsaredrawingin, so kind of you to answer. Great to hear your friend’s DDs are doing great!
Thank you so much @Malmontar, it is such a difficult decision to make, esp knowing nothing at all about the state system!
@VickyBHF, OMG, a parent from Grey Coat- thank you, thank you so much for answering! Can i please ask a few questions in PM?
@Annasgirl, thank you so much for writing- could i please ask your friend a few questions in PM as well?
@stclair, I am so sorry to hear that- honestly hope it will all work out for your DD!! They all are amazing for having the courage and strength to go through such vigorous exams at such a young age, bless them!

Can I just say @paribus if you are not sure and really feel both are a good option for your daughter, then please feel free to pick the independent option :) - was so hoping for Greycoats for my daughter today as independent schools are not an option for us, and she didn't get in

@davisson, really sorry to hear that- hope it all will work out for your DD!

@tegucigalpa13, not sure if it’s good or bad thing re MOs, haha :).

@Paribus yes please do

@Paribus it’s been 15 years since I lived in South West London so quite honestly I don’t have any recent knowledge of the individual Indies reputations. As a lefty, my answer is definitely coming from my own slant as well! As someone who had a very privileged education, I have preferred that my own DD mix at an earlier age with people from all kinds of backgrounds as I think it’s very useful in life. I’m not anti independent schools though - I moved my eldest DD from a Prep in SE London to a State Primary in SW London. Having done the move from Private to State, I understand your concerns but IME my DDs have always gravitated towards nice, bright kids, coped in bigger classes, not got lost in the system and steered clear of kids exhibiting bad behaviour (and you will find these in Private schools as well).

But quite honestly what I or anyone else on here would do isn’t what you should. Where does your and your DDs heart lie? What do you think is going to be the best fit specifically for her? As above, just go with your gut!

@Paribas

I have older daughter at GCH.
my younger daughter has also got GCH but we will not be accepting it (fingers crossed it helps some of you on wait lists- we tried to withdraw her a week or so ago to avoid this)
youngest will be going to FHSS with academic scholarship.

GCH is a big school (6 classes/year) and opportunities are great, but I find dealing with the school on an admin side a nightmare.
Daughter loved it at first but is now in a big I hate school phase and I can't pin down why.
She does have ADD but has never received any additional support for it through primary or secondary. I sometimes think they forget.
The Head is new so hasn't really made her mark as yet.

My youngest is very academic so she was identified by her primary in yr 5 and given a year long opportunity with Westminster underschool which lead to her sitting exams but only for FH & Banding test & language exams at GCH. We were lucky as we meet the faith criteria, sibling rule and she achieved a top 15 language spot.
We did look at others but could only afford one exam.
We also weighed up if DD1 would get frustrated by how well her sister is likely to be doing and if that would put undo pressure on her.
I went through school constantly judged against my older brother (never tried but could always ace exams) l didn't excel until I moved school and went from average ability group for all subjects to top group for all (???)

FH will have 84 in the year so think DD2 will find making friends easier and I hope dealing with the school will be more straightforward.

Not sure if this helps but another perspective.

Thank you very much @tigermummy70. Good to hear different perspective! I thought the head is new- there was a different lady at the open morning, do you know why she left? Can’t find any info online.... Good luch with FHSS- alrhough we got the offer, DD does not like the school so will not take it.

Thank you @SJaneS48, my gut is silent :). I have mo experience with state so really know nothing!