GCSE 2019 support thread 6

[DeRigueurMortis]

Hello All,

Welcome to thread 6 - results...

Last thread here:

Gcses 2019 support thread 5 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/3610608-gcses-2019-support-thread-5

It's been a fantastically supportive set of threads to date with a diverse set of expectations and challenges (for both parents and children).

I expect this thread may be the most emotive for us all (crikey how did the time fly!!)

Good luck everyone

Delurking too to say zen1 I also have an irritating lazy DS! He's capable of 9s across the board but I really don't think he's put the effort in to do it. He wasn't nervous about the exams and isn't nervous about tomorrow, although I am because I know he will kick himself if he hasn't done well. He's a classic example of being able to lead a horse to water but not make it drink. His college interview is on Friday, I guess the only course he wouldn't get on if he's mucked up is Further Maths, but that's a 4th subject so not the end of the world.

I've just found the whole process frustrating to watch if I'm honest. It's worked in his favour because he does well in exams and usually pulls it out of the bag but I don't know that he really understood the need to actually do the work thoroughly (and revise it!) beforehand, he just said "chill mum" a lot and didn't push for it. Grr!

And breathe. Sorry for ranting a bit, I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's twitching about results!

Yes frugalkitty, I got a lot of “calm down, mum”. I’ve also found the whole thing frustrating, especially because my friends with DCs the same age (admittedly all girls - don’t know whether that makes a difference) said they have had to beg their DC to take a break because they’re working so hard. No chance of that in my house!

Im stress eating like nobody's business. He knows im nervous as he kept coming up with wouldn't it be funny if..... insert disaster scenario here and i couldn't get results and i had to tell him to stop.

Ive made him his favourite for tea and he is tucked away on the playstation for the night. I wish i was as easy to distract.

I love watching this thread every year. It is such a stressful/exciting time for parents and yr 11 students. DD is long passed school age, but I remember it well. However, I work in a secondary school, so theoretically I have 300 student results that I'm nervous, anxious and excited about.

I have spoken to our data manager today and results are ready for 9am tomorrow. I don't know the facts yet, but the head teacher has said, 'well, it's not a complete car crash!' Not sure what to make of that!

I wish you all the best of luck and I'm sure you don't need telling, it's not the end of the world. Your LOs will shine where and when they need to, be it tomorrow morning or in years to come.

I’m lurking because my daughter is going into year 11, she went from a grade 8 to a grade 3 student as she has a boyfriend and it’s been a nightmare, anyway that aside can I ask year 11 parents when did you start look at 6th forms? Thank you and good luck for tomorrow! X

We're off to the allotment in a minute. DD2's usually OK about going to help but she really wants to go this evening to take her mind off things.

I've been going out for a walk in the garden most evenings this week to ease the nerves/get some fresh air and realised this afternoon, that I've made a 'path' in the grass where I've been walking in a circle

Another lurker here, but only over the last couple of days!
My Dd is collecting her results tomorrow morning as well. Feeling very stressed because she has worked so hard and worried how she’ll cope if all the hard work hasn’t paid off. I found it easier with my older kids who didn’t work very hard!
Good luck for tomorrow to all the Dd and Ds’s!

Also another question.. at leat I’m briefly diverting you although not off the subject entirely. Is it the norm to offer financial reward seems to be popular at my daughters school.

Myrtle lovely to hear from you.

I remember from the last thread your difficult decision re: telling your DD about her Aunt. Like everyone else on the thread i felt it was absolutely the right call, though I'm sure it was a relief to finally tell her.

to your sister (and you as you support her) as she endures chemo.

zen1 that will be my next experience of this....DD is going into year 10 and is the complete opposite of her brother! She's got revision guides already and has my teacher gene so it's highlighters and post its all the way! I'm hoping for much less stress (for me) second time. DS2 starts year 7 this year so I'll have to see which route he takes nearer the time.

We haven't given any reward but it seems most parents here are dishing the cash. DS thinks he's getting a new phone if he gets 8s and 9s but I don't know what gave him that idea!

FAQ's

Hello and welcome.

In answer of some of your questions.

1. We started thinking about HE after the mocks. Every school seems to have a different approach but tbh until you've done mocks I think it's very hard to even understand what the options are.

1. I know some parents offer financial incentives but DH and I aren't one of them. I'm not suggesting it's a bad thing, rather it depends on the child. DS isn't remotely motivated by money nor is materialistic (I'm not being smug, it's just the way he's wired rather than any parenting). We have however planned a weeks holiday this year just after the results to a place he wanted to go to. We agreed to do this after his exams as a treat for working/revising so hard (but he didn't know before that we would do this).

1. I've not encountered the "girlfriend" effect yet (I live in hope as it might make it easier to press him into using the shower daily without a grumpy response). So can't help with that directly, but a friend had similar with her DD and tbh there was nothing to be done....until she got her mock results (terrible) and the shock finally made her revisit her priorities.

I'm sitting here reading all your posts - DD's downstairs cooking dinner for us both, she MUST be stressed . I am getting garlic and chilli prawns with tomatoes, to go on our mixed salad. Yummy. The smell is amazing.

Another delurker here of a DS who admitted he could not even be incentivised bribed to improve by hard cash (Faq not uncommon round these parts either).

Similar story to Zen here, watching YouTube videos the evening prior to exam, seemed the only revision we saw at home. He assures us he worked hard at school though. We shall see what tomorrow brings!

Good luck all.

Welcome Rufus

I'm in the same boat in that DS did work hard, the worry being if he doesn't get what he needs where to go from here?

It's not like there are massive untapped reserves that can be accessed .

FAQs no, wouldn’t ever offer financial reward for exam results personally. Wouldn’t judge any parent who did - the dynamic between them and their dc is none of my business. But it’s not one of DS’s motivators, so pointless for us. I suppose paying for Uni will be a delayed financial reward!

Can I join?

Am in the airport, having spent a week with my mum who's in hospital. But I felt I needed to come home for DS gcse results tomorrow!

He is a dark horse and results could be anything, not nervous as such but want to be there for him in case he's disappointed/sad!

College intake interview on Friday....

DS isn't motivated by money either. I don't think he's expecting anything and we certainly haven't offered.

Thank you @DeRigueurMortis I’m hoping point 3 kicks in. She is the youngest in year 10 and her boyfriend is the oldest in year 9 so has little motivation just now. Their relationship is very intense full term planning their life together.

My daughter hasn’t mentioned the financial incentive the other parents have, a few in any case.

I’ll hold looking into 6th form just now, she needs a min of 6 across the board for her current school or the joint 6th with the boys school, sounds like there is still hope and room for shock motivation.

Thank you @slingthegin and @Saucery that is reassuring to know.

And @berlinbabylon

Dear all

I just wanted to report from someone who is far on the other side. We are somewhat sold the fact that English and Maths plus the fated other six GCSE 'good' grades are the be all and end all. Certainly it makes life easier but for those who don't do so well, or who, like my son, see an exam and just do inexplicably stupid things ..a story from the other side for a bit of hope. Three years ago, DS 2 got his results, brill in Drama, Pe and
Science were ok. The rest, however....he had to do an intermediate year at college where he did maths and Eng again. Maths he passed straight away (he is good at maths). He did two level 2 Btech and got Distinction for those. He did three level 3 Btech and has gained a Distinction * for one and Merits for others. He regularly fails his
English GCSE by one or two marks each time. He was given several unconditional offers from unis and starts on his chosen course (for which he had to audition and have all day assessment and interviews) soon. He fully expects to have failed his English again tomorrow because, thanks to Gove, he's given up. In actual fact he is rather good at English but never writes enough.

I just wanted to say that for those of us who don't have A grade, academic kids, who may feel really disappointed tomorrow, there is hope and light and GCSE are merely a staging post on the route not an end point. I wouldn't have believed three years ago he'd be going to uni and not just going but having unis actively competing for him.

Best wishes to all

Sling and Solitude

Hello and welcome!

@GloriaSmud That is the same course my DD2 wants to do at college! Good to hear of more girls doing this!

DD2 isn't motivated by money either. She's getting some presents either way, she's worked really hard and had a tough year with losing her dad last year and her gran 2 weeks before the start of exams.

We don't need to chase 6th forms, the school has a very good one and unless absolute disaster has struck that is where she will be going, with enrolment for internal students on the 4th of September.

We're going to pick up her new glasses tomorrow after results and have a meal out in the evening.

Just wanted to say Hi to the newbies and Yay to Flying Archer, I'm on my 3rd glass of wine which is way more than I normally drink so much love and luck to everyone and I'll see you tomorrow.